Jeremiah 'I swear he is a girl' Smith (smiting) wrote in blurred_media, @ 2009-08-22 17:00:00 |
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LIBELLOUS QUIBBLER ARTICLE INCITES VIOLENT RIOTS MOB RULE OVERWHELMS OTTERY ST CATCHPOLE Jeremiah Smith OTTERY ST CATCHPOLE - Villagers in the mixed wizard-Muggle settlement in Devon were and reportedly still are caught up in riots that broke out earlier this morning after spells were thrown through the windows of the local post office, where copies of the banned publication known as the Quibbler had been confiscated. Following that first strike at approximately 10.35AM, violence quickly escalated in the surrounding area until a full-scale riot had overtaken Ottery St Catchpole by 11.10AM. Villagers were reportedly shouting about how they were going to take down the Ministry of Magic and Minister for Magic Aeneas Nott for their supposed crimes against the state as reported by a libellous article by reported Tacitus Ward in the Quibbler on Thursday. 'We won't stand for this sham of a Ministry anymore,' shouted one woman who requested to be identified only by the name 'Spinks' and held a sign with the slogan, 'NOTT'S NOT MY MINISTER' written across it. 'I wish I'd been brave enough to stand up against this before, but reading about those terminated pregnancies was the last straw for me personally. My baby was born right at the end of June, and I can't imagine what I would be going through right now if I had been due only a few days later.' One villager, who had recently been released from St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries for suffering from delusions and paranoia, added, 'Mad, the whole lot of them at the Ministry. I think they just hate babies, what with all the killing them before they're born and not wanting Muggle-borns and Squibs to make babies either. Poor, innocent babies didn't do anything wrong or hurt anyone. It's time the government got a taste of their own potions and see how they like it when the people get violent in return. Down with the Man!' Many other Ottery St Catchpole residents, however, were much more tempered and less than approving of the violent riots that broke out in their home due to terrorist propaganda. 'These [expletive deleted] ungrateful kids these days don't know how good they have it,' said Thomas Williams, the village's local grocer, as he ducked a flaming garden gnome. 'They've got themselves a Ministry that's only looking out for them and their best interests and all, and what do they do? They go out and set fire to things and beat up their fellow man, that's what they do, eh? All because of these terrorist lies in that [expletives deleted] Quibbler. [Expletive deleted]' them! This is exactly why they were right banning that rubbish, they were.' 'I can't believe people these days!' added a young Pure-blood mother of three as she huddled in her drawing room with her children, one of whom had been cursed with a third arm in the middle of her forehead by a rioter. 'Minister Nott told us the Quibbler had spread lies from the terrorists about babies killed before they were even born, and my own terrorist-loving neighbours who claim they love all children too much not to do something respond to that by hurting my own baby! 'What sort of world is this when that's justice? It's as if I'm living in Tinworth rather than Ottery St Catchpole.' At the time of publication, roughly fifteen people, including several children and elderly wizards and witches, have already been seriously injured and taken to St Mungo's in London for treatment. At least five shops, including the post office, have been substantially damaged by arson, and many more were broken into and looted by rioters. Mobs were crowded in the streets with signs protesting the Ministry's alleged, but ultimately false crimes, and attacked each other and innocent bystanders with physical violence and magic. A dinner table Transfigured into a Triceratops was also reportedly seen rampaging through a back alley before lunch. Representatives from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement stated that they would respond swiftly and appropriately to the riots, although they did not comment further when asked for further details. On Thursday 20 August, the recently banned publication known as the Quibbler printed a libelous article claiming that an insider within the Ministry of Magic had smuggled out two documents that supposedly incriminated the government with sanctioned 'atrocities' that were supposedly kept secret from the public. Included with the Thursday's special rush edition were supposed copies of a proposed sterilisation bill and a memorandum about the forced termination of babies due to be born in July at pregnancy clinics in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. The DMLE immediately followed up on the incident and conducted a full investigation into publication's accusations. Minister for Magic Aeneas Nott himself was personally involved in order to ensure that the government had committed no such illegal and heinous crimes under his watch. The investigation found that the supposed documents were forgeries created by the terrorists as anti-government propaganda and to promote civil unrest by slandering the Ministry of Magic with inflammatory lies. The Hogsmeade Herald will continue to cover the Ottery St Catchpole Quibbler riots as more reports come in over the course of the day. |