Severus Snape is tired of the lies. (fortiscadere) wrote in blurred_lines, @ 2008-07-01 23:53:00 |
|
|||
Severus didn't have much time to think when he had forcibly Apparated a very angry Agnes away from a werewolf - no, two werewolves, because Severus was certain he'd seen Greyback out of the corner of his eye - and so he'd just gone back home. The location was easy, the determination that side-along Apparation required made easier by the familiarity of the spot he was Apparating to. For all he had scolded Agnes for not thinking, he hadn't thought either, and nor was he likely to have a chance to think. As the ground was once again under his feet, he turned his full attention back to Agnes who seemed to have realised that they'd completed the trip as well and immediately reached for her wand to disarm her. If he needed to he'd stun her to get her to calm down. He was certain she'd used an unforgivable on the werewolf and as much as Snape Did Not Care about Tabitha, he was also certain that Agnes wouldn't have normally approved of such a thing. "Agnes, fuck it, calm down," he grunted. His hand was still closed tightly around one of her wrists so she couldn't apparate back, but her other arm was free and he was struggling to keep them both standing up right. Her heart was pounding in her chest, a wild beast demanding escape from its bony cage. She couldn't think, she couldn't reason, she couldn't BELIEVE that he had dared to interfere with her while she was reaping vengeance upon someone who So Fucking Deserved it. She didn't care about dying, or how stupid she was being, or about the fact that Fenrir had popped out of hiding two seconds before Severus had torn her away to safety. All Agnes cared about was the fact that somewhere, out there, a person who'd done Marlene harm was free to walk about. It made her livid. It made her want to punch the living daylights out of someone. No, not someone. Severus fucking Snape. With a mighty roar (they hadn't put her into Gryffindor just for being a stubborn, irrational ass), she swung her fist. CRACK. There was nothing so satisfying in all the world than the impact her knuckles made with his nose. "I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!!" The shock of Agnes fist connecting with his nose, made Severus drop his hand from her wrist and both of his hands went to his face. "Dammit, Agnes! I'm trying to save your bloody life!" He could feel blood dripping down from his nose, and he'd let go of her, and he needed to not let go of her because she was clearly not rational. With one hand on his nose, the other grabbed his wand and he thought Accio wand, dropping his hand from his nose long enough to actually catch Agnes' wand with his other hand. He didn't really care. She could hate him, rant against him, and even punch him, but she was alive to do all of those things. Severus could handle being hated. It certainly wouldn't be the first time a Gryffindor hated him - frankly, he'd be more alarmed if they didn't hate him. And whatever she had said about Tabitha, that had been Greyback. And Severus had never known Fenrir Greyback to play by anything other than his own rules, and he was certain Agnes wouldn't have stood a chance against the monster. "All right that's it!" he exclaimed, he could taste the blood from his nose on his lips. "You can hate me if you need to, at least if you hate me, you're alive to hate me." He reached out to grab her wrist with one hand, and waved his wand at the door to Spinner's End with the other. "We're going to go into this house and you're going to stay there until you calm the fuck down, and you're going to be quiet, because my Mum's in there and she may be sleeping. And in the morning you might even actually thank me." Thank him? Thank him? Was he high? She would have punched him again but ... she didn't. She couldn't anymore. The rage had spilled out of her in those few short, screaming minutes, and she was suddenly silent, breathing heavily and just standing, looking like a tiny animal that had plum worn itself out. Why the hell had he even come to save her? Why was he arguing with her? This wasn't the Snape she'd always thought she'd known. He was angry, but it was in the wrong way. In a nice way. Positive. Her thinking fragmented out, and she closed her eyes a minute, trying to figure out what in the hell had happened and which reality she'd popped back into. "I ain't gonna wake your mum up," she said, voice quavering. "But you need to give me back my wand. Cuz I ain't done." Severus looked at her, still wary of releasing her wrist just yet. She looked a lot more calm - like a balloon that had just deflated in on itself - but he wasn't certain he was ready to let her go on her own. Sure, it was Agnes, and Agnes tended to be honest in her feelings and her emotions - but Severus wasn't used to honesty like that. If it had been him, he'd have probably deflated on purpose so he could Apparate away as soon as he got the chance. Or maybe not, but he still wasn't ready to take the risk that she'd disappear again. Ever since he'd slept with her, he'd felt a sense of attachment to her that he couldn't quite explain away. He didn't want her dead, and he didn't want her injured and while it might not be a particularly romantic sensation, it was a very real one. "Give me one reason why I should trust you to be sensible with your wand right now." He said sternly. "What do you need it for?" Well, of course she didn't have a reason - and she wasn't exactly the cunning and manipulative type who would make one up on the spot - as if she could make one up that would convince him anyway. Bugger. Agnes went slack in his grip and let a shrug roll through her, wishing it could take away the evening's cares. "Nothin'." She sighed. "I ain't got one. Just. Fuck." FUCK! "Fuck all of this shit. Fuck that BITCH for messing with my girl." Anger crested and fell across her again, this time a cold splash that did little to rustle up her impulses. "Why the fuck is people like them runnin' round free? What the fuck!" She didn't even bother shaking herself free, merely tiraded, looking kind of ridiculous attached to Severus Snape of Spinner's End and yowling like a banshee about the unfairness of the world. The neighbours probably thought she was drunk. Severus let her yell, relived that at least now they didn't seem to be directed at him. But he needed to get inside. He needed to get her calmed down, and he needed to stop his nose from bleeding down his face. "It's not right," he agreed, and it wasn't a lie - he hated werewolves whether he was on the same 'side' with them or not. "But this isn't the way to stop them. Come on, this is a Muggle neighbourhood," he pointed out as he gently moved her towards the front door trying to think how he would explain this to his Mum. If he could explain it to her. It was certainly one of the more ridiculous things that had happened to him in the past few months and typically his Death Eater friends didn't come to the house bleeding and angry. "I'm sorry, Agnes," he added, as he pushed open the door to the house. "I really am." He'd left his Mother in the living area, and he craned his neck around to see if she were still there. If she was, and she were awake, she would be alarmed if she saw Severus with all the blood on his face, even if it was just a bloody nose and not a wound like Agnes's. "Kitchen," he decided, once again guiding her in that direction. If his mother had moved there, then she had moved there, but usually in the evenings she didn't move unless she had good reason to. Additionally, he could get a cloth to wash Agnes' neck and his nose, and get the potions and salves to hopefully help things heal a bit more quickly. "I'm going to get us cleaned up, then I need to check on my Mum." "Clean yourself up and see to y'mum. I can handle myself." And she could. What was the point of being a trained healer if you needed help all the time? Granted, she didn't have her wand, or any potions, or anything else - but at least she could clean out her wound and dress it with what was available. It'd help her feel slightly less useless as well. The anger she'd initially felt at Severus was twisting inwards, all consuming, and she was beginning to feel really, truly wretched. What had she been thinking?? Oh, right, she reminded herself savagely, heading toward the kitchen, she hadn't been. She'd just been reacting - just like a Gryffindor, as she was sure everyone would remind her later. Just like a stupid, brainless idiot. But what did she have if not for her reactions? She didn't have brains, she didn't have strength - fuck, the only things she was good at was healing and defence and smoking weed. But Severus's sitting room was not the place to have an emotional breakdown, and Agnes merely gritted her teeth, expression somewhere between pained and withdrawn. Fuck fuck fuck. Marlene was hurt and what had she done? Run out to beat the shit out of the first thing to cross her path. The reminder of what she'd used to beat up Tabitha niggled at her, and she brushed it away, not yet ready to really admit to herself what a cockup she was. Agnes might have said she could handle herself, but Severus wasn't quite ready to let her do so. He followed her into the kitchen, and pulled a couple of worn, but clean towels from the shelves. "Here," he handed them over to her. He then made certain her wand was in his pocket, before performing a quick charm to stop the bleeding of his nose. Normally he wouldn't deprive a person of their wand, but this was just reason, he thought. He walked over to the sink and wet one of the towels, wiping blood off of his face. It swirled red down the drain, and when he felt like he might have gotten most of it he turned back round to Agnes. He'd probably go look in a mirror before he went looking for his Mum, but for the moment, he wanted to turn his attention to her and make certain she was all right. "Your neck will scar, probably," which wasn't necessarily a happy thought. If it had been another female he would have been afraid to tell them that, but considering it was Agnes, he had a hard time believing that she'd care - much anyway. "But, I've got some salve in the bedroom, I think, that should help it heal up a bit better, I'll get it in a minute." He moistened another towel, and walked over to her. He took the cool, wet towel, and laid it across her neck and shoulder to help clear away the blood. "How are you feeling?" Scars, shmars, and Agnes put on a brave face, though deep down she felt a sharp pang of discomfort. Signs of the werewolf - on her forever. brilliant. Still, a sliver of her felt violently, passionately, that it had been worth it. That seeing that excruciating pain upon Tabitha's face - that retribution. Payback. Brilliant. A look of dark and angry pleasure smeared across Agnes's face for a brief second before it was gone - and so uncharacteristic had it been that who was to say it had been there at all and not some trick of the light? "Thanks Severus," she mumbled, pressing her fingers into the towel and wincing as water insinuated itself into the splits of skin. "I feel like shit," she admitted with a breathy sigh, tilting her chin so he had access to more of her neck. She peered out the kitchen window almost absently before continuing on. "I almost got myself killed. Probably coulda got you killed. Marlene is bit up somewheres. Everyone is going batshit crazy. And that werebitch is free to roam the fucking world, killin whoever she pleases. It's bollocks, and people like that don't deserve to be alive, much less fuck up shit for everone else. I ain't even carin about this bullshit," she gestured to her shoulder, cringing slightly at the movement. "It's the goddamned bollocksity of it all." Severus had to hold back a smirk. Only Agnes would use a word like 'bollocksity' when describing life - and yet he couldn't help but feel that she was probably right. Now that she was calmer, and he was having time to think about what had just happened in the past hour, it was sinking in just how much trouble he could potentially be in. That had been Greyback, and he knew Severus - the two had been at Death Eater meetings together - which meant he was probably right now wondering why Severus had been saving a fairly well known vigilante. He swallowed and pushed it away. It would do no good to think about it right now. Anything he did to respond to the events needed to be thought through and given time or else he'd be potentially messing things up further. He picked up the towel and looked at the wounds. They weren't horrible, and he was pretty certain the scaring wouldn't be deep or dark given enough time to properly heal, but they would probably exist. "Most of those things I can't do much about," he said calmly, pressing the towel down again. "But you didn't get yourself killed - you maybe could have," he didn't want her to think it was a wise thing to do again. "But you didn't. And I actually know a thing or two about going up against a werewolf, so it's doubtful you would have gotten me killed." Severus had spent most of seventh year reading everything the Hogwarts library had on detecting, fighting, and protecting yourself from werewolves. After the events with Lupin and Black, he had determined he would not be so vulnerable again - at least not to attack from werewolves. "I can't do a thing about Marlene, but I'm guessing Lily's got that under control. People have always been batshit crazy, so there's nothing particularly new there, and the werebitch will get her dues eventually," he sighed. "At least, in theory. A more thoughtful approach might be more affective in that regard: Revenge is better served cold than piping hot." He looked down at her, watching her face closely. He needed to go check on his Mother, but he didn't really want to leave her on her own. "I'm going to go grab that salve, check on my Mum, and then I'm going to make us both some tea," he said. "I know I could use some, and I think you could too." He laid the cloth back down on her shoulder. "Hold that there until I return with the salve, we'll put some in and I'll put a bind on the wounds so they should heal a bit more quickly." It was a simple healing spell and probably one she could have done, but he wasn't ready to give her the wand she'd need to do the spell quite yet. Agnes sighed. He had a point - though she wasn't about to admit that she believed he had a point. "Gone up against what werewolf when," she asked, suspicion drenching her tones, even as she gritted her teeth and pushed the towel into her wounds. Stupid miserable werewolf bitch. Agnes would rip her throat out if she got hold of her again. (But part of her wasn't so sure. part of her remembered the crucio, remembered how horrific it had felt - horrifically powerful, draining - and she trembled away from those thoughts, afraid of herself for a few short seconds. How could she have committed such a crime? "Tell y'mum I say hi." She mumbled after him, ignoring Severus's orders to hold it steady and heading for the stove. Teapot, water, oven. At least she could be helpful in some sense - even if she'd done a crap job the rest of the day. Sev thought about protesting her going towards the stove, but in the end he allowed it. It wouldn't be too much work to boil water and start tea, and it might be helpful for her to think about something other than the werewolf. "I've just read quite a bit," he said, in answer to her question. He wasn't going to go into anything about Lupin and Black tonight. Agnes had enough on her mind, and while it was possible Agnes knew something about Lupin - McKinnon was dating him after all - but he wasn't certain and he felt he shouldn't probably shouldn't give that secret away. He had promised Dumbledore, after all, and while Hogwarts was long past, he still felt rather bound by the promise. His Mum was in bed, much as he'd expected she would be. He pulled her bedroom door closed, so that they would hopefully not wake her up or disturb her at all, and then he went to his own room. The salve was in the cupboards. His journal was on the bed where he'd left it, and he reached for it, and scribbled a quick note. Someone should at least know where she was besides him. Closing the book, he returned to the kitchen where Agnes was waiting for the water to boil. "Here we go," he said, aiming for at least somewhat cheerful as he stepped over so he was right beside her. "Let me go ahead and put this on your neck," he unscrewed the lid on the jar, "and then we'll bind them up proper. Mum's asleep," he added, as he rubbed some of the cream over the wounds. He tried to be careful, but he was certain they would sting slightly no matter how slow he was in putting the salve on them. "I thought she might be," he said. "But I suppose you can meet her in the morning. And I pulled her door closed. If we go to the library we can close the door there and we won't bother her, I don't think." The idea of sitting down and drinking a cup of tea sounded really nice to Severus. "Sorrry I yelled," Agnes said finally through gritted teeth (careful as Severus thought he was, she was unnaturally sensitive and it felt more like he was rubbing grit into her neck than cream). "You surprised me and I was fucking pissed." Still was, but that was beside the point. She worried subliminally about his mother, and overtly about Marlene and herself. The whole day had gone to hell and she wasn't sure how to cope with it. "Honestly, I just need some weed and some sleep, yeah." She searched his cupboards unabashedly for the tea, which she then threw into the pot. If she seemed embarrassed by how little Snape had, she didn't show it - after all, who was Agnes to be embarrassed about poverty? It was enough to get by on and that's all she thought anybody needed. "Library sounds nice. You keepin me here the night? Where'm I sleepin?" "Don't worry," Severus brushed away her apology. "You weren't thinking quite straight." The kitchens in the Snape household weren't well packed, but thanks to Agnes they were better stocked now than they had been a few months before, and tea was a staple that Severus was certain he couldn't live without. He stepped over to a cupboard himself and pulled out two cups for them. "It's not so much of a library as I'd like," he admitted. In point of fact, calling it a library made it out to be far grander than it otherwise was, but in Severus' head it would be someday, and there were some books on the shelves - someday there would be more - and so, the library it was. "I am keeping you the night," he said, putting the cups on a tray, and then reaching for the tea kettle. "I need to make certain you're all right," he added, glancing over at her to see if he could figure out what she was thinking. "I hadn't really thought about where you'd sleep though. I suppose you can have my bed. I can stay in the library tonight." It seemed silly to stand on such formality when they'd actually slept together before, but his bed wasn't large and he wasn't certain she'd want to have him in it with the scratches that she had. Considering Agnes didn't own a damned book of her own, even a stack of books would have been a 'library' to her, and she shrugged off his unsurity, which wasn't, on hindsight, as good an idea as she thought. "Like I give two damns about sharing a bed with you, Severus," she said, voice strained though good-natured. She wandered over to him and pushed him out toward the library - good or bad as it was - and followed on. "Let's see this not so much a library as you'd like." The less she had to think about tonight's catastrophe the better, and Severus wasn't bad company all told. Severus couldn't help but smile a tiny bit as she pushed him forward, and he led the way down the short hall to the room that was the other main room in the house. It was lined with bookshelves - mostly empty, but there were about three of them full of the few books Severus owned, and a few he'd borrowed from Aquila. They were the most important thing he owned, and he was proud of the few he'd acquired over the year - partially because of how difficult it had been for him to acquire them. "Well, I don't mind staying with you," he said, wondering momentarily if his Mother woke before he did, what she would think of such a thing. "But I was afraid it might be more painful to have another person in the bed with you, and I don't have the largest bed." He motioned her to a chair and hovered a bit. Did she want to talk about it? Did she want to talk about something else? Severus had never been good at empathizing with others - it simply wasn't his strength in relationships - and at the moment he really wished he were better at it. He liked her and he wanted her to feel better both physically, and probably emotionally too, but he wasn't quite certain about how to accomplish that. Agnes gave a weak smile and hovered a moment before attacking her cup of tea. God, that's how she knew she was English - cup of tea made everything better, and to a point it did. Slumping over the chair backwards, Agnes inhaled deeply and drank down the bitter, hot liquid with a startling rapidity. "I don't think it'll bother me too much if it don't bother you. Got any sleeping draught? I ain't too keen on it normally, but I reckon it'll keep me zonked till the mornin' and I won't have to kick you out of your own bed." Also, the company might do her some good - another thing she wasn't willing to admit (what was this, Agnes O'Hare not willing to admit something??). Not right now, anyway. She was having a fit of independicitis, which seemed to hit when she least needed it. But denial was easier than talking, it was easier than fessing up to the idea that she might have made this work. It was just easier. She didn't want to have a lovely conversation about it - and she wanted neither Severus's empathy nor sympathy. No, some sleep would do her right. Severus took a sip of the hot liquid and nodded when she asked about sleeping draught. "I don't think you in bed with me could bother me," he said honestly, setting the cup of tea aside and walking across to a desk in the corner. Severus wasn't particularly used to touch, but perhaps the lack of it made it that much more comforting when it was there. After opening the roll top, he returned with a rather large corked bottle and handed it to her. "Mum tends to go through it rather quickly," he admitted. "But that should be exactly what you need, and you're right, if you've taken that, you shouldn't have any trouble sleeping, probably not even if I kick," he looked at her amused. "Which, I hope I do not, but I suppose I've never slept with myself, so I very well might. I've never before had anyone who could tell me." He sat back down and returned to his tea. "You might as well go ahead and take it now," he added. "You'll start getting sleeping rather quickly, but it is late, and right now sleep is probably the best thing you can do for those injuries." The tea was warm going down, and he could feel himself finally begin to unwind just a little. He was still on edge, but Agnes was here and she was safe. She was willing to take a potion - voluntarily even, and somehow he'd figure out tomorrow's complications. It could all be much worse. Agnes's vague smile was enough to show that she either appreciated or what sceptical of his claim that she couldn't bother him in bed. Severus may have been underestimating her ability to be as aggravating as all hell - though somehow she didn't doubt his sincerity. He was being uncharacteristically good to her, and it was both comforting and depressing, though she couldn't explain the latter half of that emotion. "Never slept with yourself, eh?" She jibed, taking the bottle and swigging directly from it without concern for taste or propriety (this was Agnes, after all). But it was not as horrible as she expected, and a bit of tea helped wash down the hint of grass left at the back of her throat. "Thanks very much, Severus." It was a tired sort of gratitude - not the kind one would expect from such an ordinarily upbeat person... but it had been quite a day, and even Agnes wasn't totally invulnerable to the realities of feeling like crap. "I've slept with myself often," he said, sounding amused. "But I don't usually kick myself. I can't speak for others however. People occassionally claim I'm a prat, so it seems likely I might kick them if they were sleeping with me. It seems like something a prat would do, doesn't it?" He drank a bit more of his tea, and gave her a careful look. The sleeping draught was rather a strong one. His mother had gotten to where she either slept all day, or she couldn't sleep without the sleeping draught. There seemed to be no in between, so Severus kept copious quantities on hand, and it seemed that he needed to keep making them stronger. If Agnes wasn't used to taking one, she'd probably be ready to fall asleep almost before he finished his tea. That thought occurring to him, he realised that unless he wanted to carry her - and he could do so easily no bigger than she was - he probably should move them towards his bedroom. He placed the tea to the side and stood up again. "Let's go back to my bedroom," he said. "When that kicks in you'll be dead to the world. And you don't need to thank me Agnes. But you're welcome." He stepped forward and reached his hand out for hers. Agnes's system was pretty jaded when it came to drugs, but magical potions weren't quite on the same level as weed and acid, and she could feel it leaching through her system within minutes. Her giggle at his comment was a little higher and a little longer than she remembered her laughter being - particularly when the joke hadn't been that funny. "You comin' on to me, Sev?" Her voice spilled into another vague laugh as the world and its troubles fuzzed into her periphery, and she pressed her hand into his. It was hot and dry (volcano hands, an Indian mystic had once told her) - even hotter and drier in contrast to his cooler, clammier fingertips. She giggled again and let him pull her to standing... and though her knees and ankles didn't seem interested in cooperating, she managed to wobble upright, somewhere in the back of her mind delighted in how stoned she felt but unable to connect it to current events. "Where we goin'... you know I ain't even seen y'house before." As she stumbled, Sev reached his other arm around her, holding her upright. The potion was definitely working on her, and he was relieved. It was something he'd made, and it would certainly help her sleep tonight without further pain and without too much thought about what the night's events had been like. "Maybe I am," he kept his own tone light, although coming on to her at this stage would be a fairly fruitless endeavour. "Don't worry, I'll show you were we're going," he said calmly. His arm around her waist, he half led and half tugged her out into the hall and up the stairs to the second floor of the row house. The stairs, old and in need of repair in some places, creaked under their combined weight. "We'll be going to my bedroom," he added. He kept talking to her to encourage her to last just a bit longer before she gave into the potion completely. "Which might be me coming on to you again. Would you approve of that?" The bedroom was in front of them now, and he pushed the door open with his toe. His bedroom was small, but orderly, and the bed in the corner was just large enough for two people of Sev and Agnes' respective sizes to sleep in anything resembling comfort, but somehow the thought of sharing the bed with her was nothing but comfortable. As he pulled her into the room, and towards the bed, he said "Bedroom, see?" "Looks real nice," she murred in response, pulling free from Severus to wobble about the room instead of go where she was told. She inspected his personal belongings, though she would likely not remember them in the morning. "Real nice. Real respectable." She wobbled, and wobbled, and then finally made it back toward the bed (with his help, certainly). "Everythin's gonna be jes fine." Her syllables began to lose cohesion as she slumped over his sheets, unsure who exactly she was reassuring. "Jes fine. You'll see." Severus pulled his door to as she wobbled about the room inspecting everything. He turned around and watched her for a moment before running forward to catch her and help her into the bed. He wasn't certain whether he should try to change her, but as she seemed to be quickly loosing consciousness and nothing she was wearing seemed to be that restricting, he decided not to worry with it. He moved her over, and waved his wand at the wardrobe. A worn quilt was soon draped over her. For himself, Severus did take off his robe and his trousers before climbing into bed beside her. She was warm and soft and he turned over on his side, wrapping an arm around her. "It will be fine," he said softly, even though he wasn't certain she was even awake to hear his reassurances. "Just fine." |