BACKDATED to June 19th, 1979 Who: James and Lily Potter When: June 19th, 1979, shortly after Remus was taken What: Lily finds out Remus has been taken for questioning Where: Godric's Hollow Rating: PG-13 for James's language Status: Completed log
Glad that her favourite apothecary still didn't stoop to the low level of hindering her business in the name of her blood status, Lily juggled the bag of potion ingredients carefully. There were plenty of Healers that came to their home from time to time but all the same Lily wanted to make an effort for the sake of her father-in-law. He was the only father that she had now. Her dream of being a healer might be on hold, but at least she could do everything in her power for Ira Potter.
She let herself into the house, humming gently to herself. Industriousness drew away the pain that the loss of her parents had crippled her with. If she kept busy, if she stayed helpful, there wasn't as much time to fill her mind with What If.
"James?" she called, heading for the kitchen. "I'm home."
James had been sitting in his father's office going through books about wards all afternoon and couldn't have been more relieved when he heard the voice of his wife echo through the house. He'd been going crazy, absolutely nutters, since the Ministry officials had been here, and though he'd journaled about it, he knew if Lily was at the apothecary she'd have been far too focused on potiony thoughts to check in. He nearly knocked half the books off the desk in his hurry to get into the kitchen.
"I'm so bloody glad you're home," he said, plopping himself down on top of the kitchen table, which would have generally earned him a scolding from his mother, but she was currently upstairs writing furious owls so he was safe. "They-- The ministry came and took Remus in for questioning for murder," he explained bitterly. "Murder! Fucking idiots, every one of them."
She touched his arm as he scrambled past her, paying only half attention to him as she focused on where the vials from her bag were to go. She started at the word murder and turned to James as a vial of newt's liver dropped to the floor. Ignoring the liver, her eyes stared into his.
"What?" she said. "He's gone for-- Questioning?" A hand flew to her forehead as she leaned closer to him. "When? When did they come and get him?" Remus had bit someone, sure, but Lily hadn't thought they would come after him. "But he didn't kill anyone." Her potions forgotten, Lily's brow furrowed.
What if they keep him-- No. Not that game again.
"What are we going to do about it?" she asked.
James shook his head. "I don't know Lils. Mum and dad are owling, and I've written to the Order, hopefully Frank or Moody or someone can do something, but for now I think we're stuck... We won't let anything happen to him though. We'll break in with the cloak and smuggle him to America if we have to," James said, in the tone he tended to use when reason wasn't about to work with him at the moment.
"They came this morning and all they'd say was that he wanted for questioning for a murder or conspiracy to murder and they wouldn't give any more details than that. It was complete shit. The full was terrible last night because Moony was out of his head, probably thrilled that Remus had bit someone, and we were chasing him all damn night. Remus could barely move this morning when he turned back, and if they hadn't taken him he'd have been in bed for a few days after this one," James said, shaking his head.
"I swear some day I'm either going to become the Minister of Magic or burn that whole fucking place to the ground, one or the other... and sorry bout the language," he added as a bit of an after thought. He tended to try not to swear around Lily when he was angry because the last thing he wanted was for her to feel like he was taking things out on her.
She trembled, her anger mounting as James spoke. Lily didn't even notice that he was using foul language in her agitation. She had a score of choice words on the tip of her tongue. "If they think they're bloody well going to keep him they'll--" Her hands balled up into fists. "It's absolute rubbish, it's such sodding--" She took a deep breath, trying to calm her own features. Remus might have been one of James's best friends for much longer, but he was like family to her, too, now.
Her mind whirled, refusing to believe that they could be stuck. She took a deep breath.
"Does Marlene know?" she asked. Remus and Marlene might not have been together nearly as long as she and James, but if James were taken -- She would tear down the walls with her fingernails.
James nodded. "I wrote it in the journal and I think she's headed over," he said. "Not that being here is going to help much, but we all know that if we head down there it's only going to make things worse for him," he sighed. No one hated being helpless more than James, but Lily came close, and seeing her get so angry on his friend's behalf made him feel more grateful than ever that he'd married a woman who was perfect for him.
He pushed himself down from the counter and stepped over to her, putting both of his hands on her hips.
"It is rubbish, but like I said, we won't let anything happen to him," he said again, this time more quietly, with the sort of promise behind it that made it clear there were no two ways about it. "When we find out more we'll get it sorted out. I just hope it's not over fucking Frenchy-- Apparently Sirius played down a bit exactly how bad the bite was, but then Marlene figures if Lestrange was dead, we'd have seen more ink blots, so I really can't even fathom what the fuck is going on," he said, pulling her just a bit closer.
Her heart went out to Marlene, and Lily tilted her head down and pressed the top of her head against James's chest as she took in a deep breath. Her fists relaxed some and she closed her eyes. She had signed up for this war, she'd walked into it willing but that didn't make each chance and risk any easier. This was war -- Lily had no guarantees. She felt that the loss of her parents should have made that more than clear to her before, and yet here she was.
"You're right we won't," she said with her own grim determination. She slowly lifted her head up and looked right at James. There were never any guarantees. She could end up losing him. Her mouth set in a firm line she wound her arms around his back.
She closed her eyes for a minute and collected herself. James had been so strong for her throughout the ordeal with her parents, and now it was time for her to be strong for him.
Lily pressed her cheek against his chest and looked up at him. "We're going to be okay, Potter," she said. "He will be okay."
James chuckled in spite of himself at her affection mixed with her calling him Potter in the same exact second. Back in school, it had never been an endearment, but now that she was a Potter as well, he would never grow tired of it. Nothing had been easy since they'd gotten married except their marriage. It was the only thing in James's life at the moment that wasn't filled to the brim with complications. They loved each other and that was enough.
"As long as we're all together, there's nothing that won't be okay," he assured her, kissing her softly on the forehead. "The Death Eaters, idiots at the Ministry, everything with me dad... It's a lot, but it's not too much for us," he said, just as much to assure himself as her.
"And it's good we're all staying here for now. Don't let me forget to tell Marlene she should stay tonight," he said, letting her go slightly, but still letting his fingers graze her side. "I'm so glad Remus finally has someone to care."
"You're right," she said, wishing that she had had the fortitude to say it first. Where was her spirit, her ability to bounce back just as soon as she had been hit? It had to still be there. She knew it was. If only it would be out in the forefront now. Lily wanted to be strength for the Order, not one who only took from it. James was right; as long as they were all united, as long as she had him at her side, there was nothing they couldn't overcome.
What if-- She turned her thoughts away from the question. This was not a game she'd let herself play anymore.
"It's nothing less than he deserves, of course. I'll get in touch with Marlene," Lily said. She squeezed his side affectionately. "I'll let her know." She reached up and stroked his face before kissing him lightly on the lips. Lily took three steps back and knelt down to begin cleaning up the mess of newt liver.
James watched his wife, and could actually see the resolve cross over her face. He didn't know what he'd do without her. Even if James had a tendancy to speak his mind when it most certainly wasn't needed, for some reason he could never find the right words to do justice to the way she made him feel. He wished that he could though, and he hoped that even if his words didn't express how much she made his life worth living, the look on his face would tell her what he wanted her to hear.
"I just hope he keeps that in mind after all of this," he sighed, crossing back over to the table to watch his wife work. "He gets in his "I'm a werewolf and too dangerous to have friends or be loved" moods and it's like talking to a brick wall. I already warned her though a week or two ago that he might try and push her away like he did with me and Sirius and Pete over and over, and the only cure is to just shout at him until he realizes you aren't going away," he said.
"You want any help love?" he offered, though likely she wouldn't if she recalled exactly how badly he'd managed to cut himself the last time he'd tried to chop anything for her.
A strand of her dark red hair fell into her face and Lily looked up at James as she pulled it behind her ear. She smiled at him, knowing and understanding a good deal of what was within him. James could be a hothead, he could be ridiculous -- but Lily had seen so much of what those less desirable qualities sometimes covered up that his faults were minimized to nothing when he looked at her like that.
It wasn't without a small twinge of pain that Lily nodded at his words regarding Remus. Severus had felt the same way, she knew -- not that he was a werewolf, but that he couldn't be loved. Now he was as firmly rooted with his friends as he could be. Maybe he'd found that with them. She doubted it.
"Eventually he'll learn," she said. "I hope he will. And Marlene is strong and has a powerful pair of lungs." She laughed gently as the last of the newt's liver zoomed through the air to the rubbish bin. Lily stood and chucked her purse at him playfully. "The most I'll trust you to do, as far as helping," she said, "Is to put this away." She grinned at him. "And maybe when I make dinner tonight I'll let you stir the stew a bit, but if you let it burn..." She lifted one eyebrow while making a face at him as though she was determining what sort of punishment she'd dole out.
James laughed as caught the purse in mid-air and sat it down on the table next to him. "This time I promise I'll watch it and I won't get distracted by trying to make the carrots race," he promised. "Of course you could solve that problem yourself by making stew without the vegetables," he added, dreaming of a soup that was nothing but sauce and piece of meat without all the healthy bits mixed in.
He continued to quietly watch his wife in wonder, amazed that even for all his faults, someone like her would truly love him, but he had no doubt it was true. And that's what made this worth it. All of this worth it. They'd end the war, start a family, and be happy, all of them together, and until then, it was these moments in between he'd have to live for.