Evangeline Macnair eats her feelings. (masticate) wrote in blurred_lines, @ 2009-05-17 21:16:00 |
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With a hand held just above her eyebrows to shade her eyes from the afternoon's sun, Evangeline stood primly off to the side of the entrance to Flora's Flora and attempted to patiently await Gaius's arrival. She was far more excited than she wished to let on and she fought the urge to give several unladylike but celebratory fidgets as she stood there. Though a bakery would have appealed to her sensibilities far more than a florist might, she was still very much looking forward to the lovely array of flowers that Flora's had to offer and, most impressive, she had been invited to peruse them with someone who decidedly wasn't her mother. It was only Gaius, yes, but it was certainly something different and, when she spied him approaching her and the shop, she lifted her other hand in an enthusiastic wave. Though Gaius had spent the last week in a dismal mood, he was taking this opportunity to both selfishly distract himself and remind himself that Lavinia would be home soon. He could have asked his sister to accompany him to the florist's but he had not spoken to Seraphina since Lavinia had been kidnapped and he didn't particularly feel like talking to her now, either, in spite of the fact that he so often deferred to her taste when it came to these things. And that had been why he had asked Eva to join him -- she was a girl, so she would surely know what looked nicest when it came to flowers. Gaius had never paid much attention to them and he was certain that if he attempted to pick something out on his own, it would not look nearly as nice as something he picked out with a woman's assistance. He had come from work, where he'd spent most of his time since the ordeal earlier in the week. He did not want to be in the presence of his father or sister any longer than possible. He'd even skipped several dinners, both for the sake of getting more work done and to save himself the awkwardness of dinner with his remaining family and as he approached the shop, his stomach rumbled as a reminder that he'd better not skip it again. He pushed the thought out of his mind as Evangeline came into view, waving at him. He forced something resembling a smile onto his face and gave a quick wave in response. "Hello," he said, somewhat redundantly after having waved. "I hope that I have not kept you waiting long." Dropping both of her hands to fold them neatly behind her and not quite noticing the forced nature of his smile, Eva beamed up at Gaius. "Hello!" she replied just as redundantly, but with the same amount of enthusiasm of her wave. "I haven't been waiting long at all!" She resisted another urge to fidget, though this time it was due to the marked absence of Lavinia. It was simple for Eva to be friendly and polite with Gaius in writing, but it was strange to be expected to do so in person and very much without her usual buffer of Livi. "How are you today? Are you well?" And here she narrowed her eyes slightly to study him, searching for traces of the dreary mood that he had apparently shared with her just the other day. He looked tired to her and the corners of her mouth dropped a bit, which she quickly twisted into what she hoped was a thoughtful expression. "Well enough," he said, stopping in front of her. As his appearance indicated, he was tired -- it was not only that he had been working practically non-stop all week, but that the work he was doing was not easy work in the least. Each time he performed one of those curses, it took all of his effort and left him needing a rest nearly as much as Jo did. Perhaps now that he was no longer as angry as he was simply upset, the curses were becoming increasingly challenging with each attempt. But he had wanted to take his mind off work for a brief period of time, which was part of the reason he'd asked Eva to accompany him. "How are you this afternoon? It appears that you are in a far less dreary mood than when we last spoke." With a brief nod for his statement about her previously dreary mood, Eva tilted her head to the side and forced a convincing enough smile, her concerned eyes still on his face as she studied his tired features. Gaius certainly didn't look well enough, but she wasn't going to press the issue just yet. Perhaps once the flowers inside had lifted their spirits somewhat, she would chide him for not getting enough sleep or query about his eating habits, but for the moment she would simply worry to herself and try her hardest to not allow her dreary mood to make a return. "Oh, I'm feeling quite cheerful today," she lied. "After all, it did not rain and it is a lovely day! That is certainly something to be cheerful about. Wouldn't you agree?" "I would agree," he said, still struggling with his smile. "It certainly is." Eva did not deserve to know the reasons for his distress -- they were too troublesome to share with others, particularly others whose moods were as pleasant as Miss Macnair's. He appreciated her positivity and hoped that throughout the course of their brief outing that it would prove somewhat infectious, as he could certainly do with a bit of cheering up. "Shall we?" he asked, stepping away to hold open the door to the shop. He hoped that she had more of an idea of what they would be considering, since even just looking through the opening of the doorway, Gaius was sure that he would have been completely lost if he attempted this on his own. "Yes, let's," she answered, already feeling her spirits lift as the shop's pleasant smells wafted through the open doorway. Eva wasted no time in stepping inside, lifting her eyes as she passed Gaius to scrutinise him one final time before setting aside her concerns for the task at hand. She was going to be patient whether she liked it or not! She gave the shop's owner an airy greeting and immediately went to the display of daffodils. In reality, she had very little knowledge of flowers beyond what she'd read about them. When she had visited the shop in the past, it had always been with her mother and Eva had simply been along for the company, never for her expertise. Though she wasn't as skilled as her mother in the art of flower arrangements, she had a vague idea of what was pretty and, even more helpful to the task, she knew what Livi would like. "I do believe she would prefer the yellow daffodils," she said, glancing up at Gaius. She brushed her fingertips across the bright yellow cup of one of the blooms, before lifting it from the container and inhaling its scent. "What do you think? They smell ever so lovely!" She turned to him and held the bloom out towards him, urging him to inhale as well. The scent of the place was somewhat overwhelming to Gaius' nose -- he was far more accustomed to the musk of an old home or the sterile scentlessness of St Mungo's -- and it took him a moment to adjust to the headache-inducing aroma. He nodded when Eva suggested the daffodils, knowing that those were among his sister's favorite type of flower and perhaps one of two or three varieties he was able to recognize. He leaned forward to smell the bloom, though he could scarcely differentiate between the scent coming from it and those coming from the other flowers in the shop. As it was, he had to reach up and rub away the beginnings of a sneeze as he straightened up. "Yes," he said after lowering his arm back down to his side. "They are quite nice. I am sure she would love them. Is there anything in particular with which they are normally paired?" He glanced at the different types of flowers being displayed as though trying to select something that might go well, though nothing in particular stood out to him and he doubted that anything he might have picked would have been appropriate anyway. Flowers had meanings, none of which he understood -- they were as foreign to him as a wine pairing or the French language, neither of which he would likely ever understand. Eva wasn't entirely certain how to answer his question and in her discomfort she turned to return the flower to its container. Yes, flowers did have meanings, but she was as unclear on them as Gaius was. Her readings had never really touched upon the sentimental aspects of flowers. There was often so much to cover and the possibility of a misstep was a bit too much for her to handle, so she simply avoided it altogether. Her mother handled sending all of the flowers from their family and, well, Eva typically didn't receive flowers from others, so it wasn't all that important. Her urge to fidget was returning, though, and she busied herself with nervously touching a white daffodil instead. "Well," she started, keeping her eyes on the daffodils, "I suppose it would be best to pair them with what Livi would like. They will be her flowers, after all." Lifting her eyes, Eva searched for the roses and found them a few steps away. She studied them thoughtfully for a long moment, before plucking a pink rose from the colourful array there. Rose colours were a bit more specific in their meanings, but she still knew what Lavinia would want and hopefully that would be enough. "This," she said, feeling a bit more confident. "Yellow daffodils and pink roses. Miss Potts," she inclined her head towards the shop's owner, "can surely assist us with the greenery." Gaius nodded and glanced between the daffodils and roses -- knew had mentioned that those were his sister's favorites, so it seemed logical that those would be the ones to choose. He was glad that he had Eva there to prod him in the right direction, though, since he hadn't been entirely sure what each of the flowers actually looked like. "I think she will like those very much," he said to her before he turned to walk across the shop to address the owner. It didn't take long at all for them to talk over the necessary information for his ordering an arrangement, particularly since he now knew precisely which flowers would be included. However, when she mentioned the total cost of the gift, Gaius glanced around and his hand went instinctively to his pocket. He hadn't even thought about the prospect of his not being able to afford the flowers and now that he was looking, he could see that he'd missed the signs on the walls specifically stating exactly what the price of such an arrangement would be. He could barely believe it -- they were flowers. How could they be so expensive? Clearing his throat and turning a distinct shade of pink, he avoided Eva's glance and tried to smile at Miss Potts. "I forgot to make a stop at Gringotts on my way over. Perhaps I can come back later." Though the woman did not seem entirely convinced, she nodded and set down her pen before returning to whatever it was she'd been doing before. Gaius wanted nothing more than to disapparate then and there, but he thought it would only worsen things to leave Eva there alone. Instead, he decided that it would be best just to get out of the shop. So, turning to her, he cleared his throat and kept his gaze pointed somewhere distinctly away. "Well, I think we are done here for today." Dreariness suddenly came flooding back and, feeling distinctly uncomfortable with the exchange she'd just witnessed, Eva simply gave Gaius a sharp nod before walking towards the door. She didn't make a habit of discussing the personal finances of others, but she had known the Traverses long enough to realise that they were nowhere near as wealthy as her family. They were poor, but that had never phased her and it still didn't, despite the uncomfortable feeling clenching in her chest. She was hyper-aware of the money she had on her person and the very long moment in which she'd considered offering to pay for the flowers herself. It would have been deeply insulting and she was almost ashamed of herself for even so briefly considering it. As she pushed the door open to step outside, ignoring for the moment the ladylike compulsion to have one's door opened for them, Eva glanced over her shoulder at the shop's owner, desperately racking her mind for some last-minute solution that simply wasn't there. She still said nothing once they were outside, where she lingered before allowing her feet to carry her a few paces to the left so that they stood in front of the butcher instead of the flower shop. Finally, she turned to face Gaius and forced herself to look as though nothing had happened. "Do you have time to take tea with me?" she asked gently, forcing a small smile. "I am certain Mother would not mind and you look as though you could use it." She needed tea as well or, rather, she needed whatever cakes could be found in the Macnair kitchen. As if Gaius wasn't embarrassed enough after the incident in the shop, he now felt as though he was being offered some sort of charity to make up for his not being able to afford some stupid flowers for his sister. Simply leaving was seeming like a better decision with each passing moment and he was sure that his face was still flushed, but he did not want to do anything else to admit that he was feeling ashamed. He should have thought about the financial aspect of this whole thing first as he usually did -- he'd grown up poor and had learned to do so discreetly, but his mind had been on too many other things. "No, thank you," he said in as polite and unaffected a tone as he could manage, still refusing to meet her eyes. "I think that I probably ought to get back to work anyway." There -- a valid escape. "Oh, of course," she said quietly, feeling stung by the rejection in spite of how polite his tone seemed. Eva didn't quite understand how her words had seemed to Gaius and so she didn't realise that what she had said could have been perceived as insulting. Instead, she took his dismissal the only way she knew how. Clearly he did not wish to be around her and she supposed she couldn't really blame him for it. She was dreadfully annoying and even as she stood there she could feel her emotions becoming more and more irrational. Her own cheeks had started to burn and she clenched her hands into fists at her side, willing herself not to succumb to the very tempting urge to cry right there over the horrible turn the afternoon had taken. "You look so very tired, is all," she said finally, attempting to save face. Her forced cheerfulness had dissipated entirely and she latched on to the emotion that came easiest to her, though she didn't really have to force concern. The real challenge was shoving aside her own displeasure far enough to make space for it. "Livi, I think, would be sore with me if she knew that I had seen you and had not at least attempted to see to your well being! I understand, though. You are very busy and your work is ever so much more important. It was silly of me to suggest it!" "It wasn't silly," he said, stuffing his hands into his robes' pockets. After taking a moment to consider her, Gaius sighed and relaxed a bit, trying to let go of the awkwardness the last few minutes had caused. As much as he felt as though it would not bode well for him to agree to accept tea from her after what had just happened, he could use a cup and a bit longer to suspend his train of thought. What else could possibly go wrong just by his relenting to tea? "All right, but just a quick one. I really do have a lot of work to do." In the span of only a few seconds, Eva's mood brightened considerably and she beamed up at him again. "Oh, I understand!" she replied, chirping her words slightly in her delight. She still vaguely wondered why Gaius had declined in the first place, but she was pleased that he'd changed his mind and even more pleased to discover that she wasn't too revolting to spend time with. "I will see you at my home, then." With that, she disapparated, reappearing just outside the front door of her family's townhouse and allowing herself one very brief celebratory fidget before opening the door and stepping inside. Her hostessing skills were somewhat rusty, as they didn't get as much use as she would have liked, but she summoned their house elf to prepare their tea and, with as much graciousness as she could muster, showed Gaius to the sitting room. Following Eva into the sitting room, Gaius took a seat on the sofa and glanced around the room, which was far nicer than what he'd grown accustomed to seeing in his own home -- it shouldn't have caught him off guard, since he'd seen the house before with Lavinia. Perhaps her presence had distracted him from having to acknowledge that they were, in so many ways, ou tof place in this Society. Or perhaps it was the afternoon's previous downturn that made him more sensitive to the differences. He leaned back a bit, sighing as they waited for the house elf to bring the tea. "Thank you," he said -- for not saying anything, for offering him tea, for being proper. "May I ask what you needed to tell my sister the other night?" Smiling brightly, Eva seated herself next to Gaius on the sofa, carefully arranging her skirts around her knees as she tried to remember what exactly it was that she'd wanted to tell Livi. It had only been a few days since she'd asked if she could visit, but it had seemed so long ago and she had already forgotten what had been so exciting for her. "It's my pleasure," she said, scooting forward to the edge of her seat as the house elf entered and sat the tea tray on the small table before them. She busied herself with filling their cups as she racked her brain. What had she wanted to tell Livi? "Oh!" she exclaimed, suddenly remembering her bit of news as her round cheeks turned pink with the embarrassing realisation. While she thought perhaps Livi would find the news she'd had to share thrilling, she wasn't entirely certain that Gaius would be as interested and, after the afternoon they'd had, she wasn't entirely certain that talking about her new and rather expensive toy was in good form. She kept her eyes firmly on the tea tray and nudged the plate of tea cakes closer to him. "I wanted to tell her about my new horse. I wanted to show her the pictures I have. He's very handsome." She sheepishly turned to him and handed him his cup. Taking his cup, Gaius nodded and used the tea as an excuse to stay quiet, opting to take a sip instead of speaking. He wasn't sure how, exactly, to respond to that when he was already feeling self-conscious about his family's financial status -- they couldn't have paid for the upkeep of a horse, let alone a horse itself, unless it was at the expense of their everyday necessities. This wasn't exactly the distraction he'd had in mind, since now he was thinking about two very unpleasant things instead of one. With a stifled sigh, he set his cup down and reached for a tea cake from the plate as she moved it closer. "I am sure that she will be delighted to hear about him," he said before taking a bite. "Oh, I hope so," she said weakly. Eva felt ridiculous talking about her horses with Gaius, but she couldn't seem to think of anything else to discuss. Her mind had gone completely blank. She took a small sip from her own cup and tried to avoid looking at the tea cakes altogether, despite how much they tempted her. It wouldn't do to embarrass herself further "I could certainly use Livi's help naming him. I am simply at a loss and, of course, Walden is no help at all and Mother's names are all ever so ridiculous! I also thought perhaps, since I have two now, that Livi would like to come riding with me. When she isn't occupied." Thinking of Lavinia being occupied by whatever terrible thing that had happened to her caused Eva to frown and she finally reached for a tea cake, nibbling at the edges of it in what she was sure was an unladylike manner. Occupying himself with both his teacup and the tea cake he'd already half-finished without realizing, Gaius just nodded at Eva in response. He was sure that his sister would like the idea of riding with her best friend, but it was difficult for him to think of her doing much of anything pleasant at the moment. The more he thought about it, the more upset he became -- why should he always have to be the strong and unemotional force in his familys' lives. Sure, he hadn't been doing a great job of it this week, but normally he was much better at quelling his reactions and ignoring what bothered him. Without his sister, he was being far too sensitive to everything that happened -- this entire day would have gone completely differently had he been able to maintain some control over himself, which was even more embarrassing to consider. But, of course, he wouldn't have even been with Eva today if Lavinia were there. Finally, he had to set down both his cup and cake and leaned forward to hover over his knees, covering his face in his hands. He hated this -- it was absolutely humiliating, which only seemed to upset him more. He felt the needles of hot tears building in the corners of his eyes and, knowing that there was no way he could recover enough now to save face, he stopped trying. A small, muted sob rose in his throat and he was glad only for the fact that his face was now hidden. What on earth was he going to do to fix this? Eva's mouth fell open in shock and she too was thankful for Gaius's hidden face, because she was certain she was being rather rude but she simply couldn't help it. Witnessing gentlemen crying was a rarity for her and one she never quite knew how to handle, most especially from this particular gentleman. She set aside her own tea and cake and shifted in her seat so that she was turned towards his hunched back, mind clumsily racing the entire time. What was she meant to say in this situation? She sat still and quiet for a few very long minutes, simply allowing him to make whatever sounds he needed to make. "Everything is going to be fine," she said finally, fighting to keep her voice low and soothing. What 'everything' was she wasn't certain of. She reached forward and patted him on the shoulder with her fingertips, feeling distinctly awkward but not knowing what else to do. "It mustn't be so terrible if Livi is still capable of using her journal." As the minutes had passed, Gaius's hyper-awareness of Eva's presence had slowly dissolved, so when she touched his shoulder, he gave a slight start of surprise, which at least kept him from continuing to embarrass himself by crying. Quickly wiping his face on the sleeve of his robes, he took several deep breaths to try and dig some composure from what little presence of mind he had left. Though his face had gone somewhat paler and his eyes were red-rimmed from obvious tears, he straightened up a bit before lowering his hands and nodding. "I am sure you are correct," he said, somewhat unevenly and sniffing in spite of himself. "Everything is going to be fine." "Yes," she said, nodding, though Eva didn't look entirely convinced. It must be horrendous if he was going to cry in front of her, but she fought the urge to panic that was rising in her chest. It wouldn't do for her to cry as well and if she indulged herself right then and there she just knew that was going to. She pursed her lips together and shifted her attention away from Gaius, studying the contents of the tea tray. "Would you like a slice of pie, Gaius?" she asked suddenly. "I believe I could use something a bit stronger than tea and cakes." The words felt ridiculous coming out of her mouth, but they were true and at least with pie she would feel less compelled to make small talk with him. "No, thank you," he said. "I should get back to work." Though pleased for the opportunity not only to change the subject and -- his stomach gave an empty churn at the idea -- to eat, he did need to get back to work. While normally, he would have been, at the very least, somewhat cheered and distracted by the thought of food (if not overjoyed), not even pie could completely eliminate his disdain. And an escape did seem like a good alternative to putting both himself and Eva through this extremely uncomfortable situation. He knew that he would have to face the repercussions of his carelessness sometime, and he hoped that Eva would at least keep this unflattering outburst to herself, for both the sake of his pride and for Lavinia's well-being. |