Severus Snape is tired of the lies. (fortiscadere) wrote in blurred_lines, @ 2009-05-01 19:45:00 |
|
|||
Agatha paced back and forth across the waiting room at St Mungos and chewed on her bottom lip. They wouldn't let her in to see Severus. They'd told her she had to wait until he woke up and they could do some tests. Not even telling them she was his fiancée and practically the only family he had left had been enough to make them let her in. She was concentrating on that rather than anything else because if she thought about what had happened and more importantly the timing of it, she was going to get very cross. Because she shouldn't be saying she was Severus' fiancée, she should be telling she was his wife. But she wasn't going to think about that. Because she didn't want to get cross. Because she didn't want to be cross when she was finally allowed in to see Severus. A mediwitch came into the waiting room and Agatha came to an abrupt halt as the woman smiled kindly. "Miss Chubb?" "Oh! Yes!" Agatha said, clasping her hands together and wringing them. "You can see Mr Snape now. Come with me." Agatha hurried over to the mediwitch and followed her down the corridor. They came to a halt in front of a half-closed door and the mediwitch gave Agatha another kind smile and a nod. "There you go, dear." "Thank you," Agatha said distractedly then she drew in a deep breath, pushed the door open and walked slowly into the room. When she saw Severus, her eyes widened and she drew in a sharp breath. He was practically covered in bandages and what was bandaged seemed to be just one big bruise. How badly had he been hurt? For a moment Agatha just froze, unable to move and internally flaily madly, then she took another deep breath and let it out, forcing herself to stay calm. Severus didn't need her frittering around and acting like an idiot. She walked over to the bed and sat down in the chair that was waiting. She hesitated for a moment before taking Severus' right hand... which seemed to be one of the few parts of him that wasn't injured. "Severus?" she said softly. Severus had woke up approximately an hour before to find himself unable to move (much, anyway) and very quickly surrounded by healers who were talking amongst themselves, asking him questions, and casting spells, that he didn't recognise, but knew were probably healing spells, tests, they'd said. The fact that he couldn't move, and in fact, that everything was still perhaps was actually a good thing, considering the information the healer had given him after they'd finished. It was good he was awake, she'd said.The bone damage had been the worst, but it was already working on repairing itself. They would have to continue to check it. She couldn't promise there was going to be no damage, but none of the bones had been broken before, and it seemed unlikely that there would be any - perhaps a small limp - but perhaps not even that if things went for the best. She was sorry, but they'd been unable to reattach or regrow the two finger's he'd lost. They had set too long before receiving attention, but likely he would have fingers at least to the knuckle. And they'd keep him on pain potions - was he in any pain? Severus had tried to shake his hand, but found it impossible to do so, so he'd simply said no, that he couldn't really feel much of anything, which had set about another level of questions to ensure that he wasn't losing feeling anywhere, and finally, satisfied by their test, they'd assured him that they'd bring him a cup of water, and that someone was here to see him and that they would let her in, and then they had left Severus alone with his thoughts. Unable to really move, he'd been left staring at the ceiling. Someone was here to see him, and it was Agatha, he knew it was, and his throat tightened. The wedding. He had no idea how long he'd been here, but he was certain (even if it had been only a few hours) that the wedding would not be happening. There was no way he could even move two inches, much less move to a castle to get married. But when she'd entered, and he felt her hand slide into his, he felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes. He would blame it on the pain potions, not the rush of unpredictable emotions that were over-whelming him at the moment. "Hi," he said, his voice just barely above a whisper. He found he could turn his head just to the side a bit, so he did so his eyes seeking her face. "How long-? What day is it?" Agatha swallowed hard when she saw all the bandages close up. It looked... so bad and she couldn't imagine who could do this to another person and more importantly why they do it to someone else. What possible reason could anyone have for doing something which was surely akin to torture? "Hi," she said with a tiny smile that didn't reach her eyes. She bit on her bottom lip for a moment then leaned forward and kissed him gently on the forehead. "It's still the 1st. It's about 7 o'clock in the evening." She smelled good. Severus swallowed, and squeezed her hand lightly, but not too tightly as he really couldn't manage that with the bandages and the pain on his side. Seven o'clock on the first, he'd been asleep for a little less than a day, which wasn't as bad as he'd thought it might have been from the healer's comments. But this wasn't where he was supposed to be right now. His head felt fuzzy, but he had a dozen questions that were beginning to pop up to the surface. Questions he couldn't actually ask Agatha, because not only would she potentially not know the answers, they would be odd questions for a Death Eater to ask. He realised he had no idea what had happened - no idea what the outcome might have been. He didn't know if Abe was safe, or Lily, or if Caradoc Dearborn- He shifted the thought away, unwilling to deal with that question just yet even if Agatha had been able to answer it. "I'm sorry," he whispered finally. This had not been his intention, even if he'd known deep down when he'd gotten the announcement on Thursday that it was a possible outcome - and that even if it wasn't so for him, that it might have been for any of his friends. Agatha gave a small laugh and brushed Severus' hair back with her free hand. She knew enough about him by now that the idea of him apologising for nearly being killed didn't seem at all ludicrous but utterly typical. "You don't need to apologise," she said gently. "It's not your fault." No, it wasn't. It was Voldemort's fault for organising whatever the hell it was he'd organised on the eve of her wedding. She was angry about that but somehow not surprised. After all, why would a bunch of purebloods care about the wedding of a couple of lowly halfbloods. It didn't matter how highly ranked Severus was in either the Death Eaters or the Ministry, he would always, always be a halfblood in their eyes and not respected. After all, if they respected him, they would have delayed this. One week wouldn't have killed them. Three days wouldn't have killed them. If it had been a pureblood's wedding she would have been willing to bet the royalties from every books she would ever write in her life that it would have been delayed so the wedding could go ahead undisturbed. "I contacted Mireille," she said after a few moment's silence. "Everything's been taken care of. The wedding's been postponed. We can re-schedule later when you're better." Severus tried to nod and realised that he really couldn't so he settled for a weak smile instead. His face looked ridiculous trying to smile amongst the bruises. He tried to breathe in and that actually hurt more than he'd expected considering the number of ill tasting potions they'd already forced down his throat. Perhaps they'd need longer to set in. He'd recognised a few of them, one of them he hadn't. "I know, but-" his throat felt dry and he felt impossibly emotional for reasons he couldn't even put his finger on. The events of last night had slowly been moving back into his mind and he didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to think about Meaghan McCormack and her unborn child, and the fact that the father, very likely, would never come and find them. "What-" he stopped, forced a bit of a laboured breath that hurt like hell. "Did-?" He had no idea how to ask her things and no idea what she even knew. And his thoughts were too unclear about what he should ask her, and what he shouldn't, and what was supposed to be Death Eaters only, and what wasn't. After scraping around, he said finally. "I'm going to be fine," he said. It felt like a ridiculous thing to say considering what the Healer's had said, but he felt like it should be said. Agatha smiled back and brushed his hair again. She pushed the anger and worry away rather firmly. She could think about that later. At home. When it was more private and she could vent her anger much more safely. Or maybe she'd go flying. That had always been a good way to relieve tensions in the past. And it wasn't like she needed to worry about keeping her hands clean and tidy. It was going to be at least a couple of weeks before they could even think about when to re-schedule the wedding. She frowned slightly. "Did you want some water?" she asked worriedly, mentally kicking herself for not asking sooner. "And of course you're going to be fine. You've got some of the best healers working on you." She became rather charmingly stern at this point as she tried to mimic Martha at her best. "And you're going to do whatever they tell you to do." Her touch should have been painful, he thought, as swollen as his face felt, but it was anything but painful. No, her touch was light, and it made him feel as if she actually cared that he was all right. Not, of course, that he was all right at the moment, but still - it was nice to think that someone cared. "Yes, please," he managed to say and then he smiled at her chiding, feeling actually regretful that they hadn't been able to get married today after all. Her being here by his side, waiting for him to wake-up and wanting to see him meant more to him than he'd thought it would. "I don't think at this point I could do much otherwise," he said dryly waiting for her to retrieve the glass of water from the stand. Agatha got the glass of water then looked between it and Severus. This just wouldn't do. She put the glass down again and pulled a pencil out of her robes. At least that was one things knew she'd always have on her - useful writing implements that could be used for other purposes. She pulled out her wand and quickly tranfigured the pencil into a bendy straw. She plunked the straw in the glass then picked it up and held it so that Severus could reach the straw without having to move. "I know you men," she said fondly. "As soon as you think you're better you'll start thinking you can do everything normally and that's when you get yourselves in trouble." Severus took a sip gratefully, and then a second, and then a third, so that about half the glass was gone before he gave her what passed for a smile with his face as dreadfully injured as it was. "Thank you, Agatha," he said softly, half moving his hand to try to find hers again. There was something comforting about the small amount of contact with another human being that felt like it was keeping him grounded. "I'll do no such thing," he added, wryly, although he knew the last time he'd injured himself, that was precisely what he'd done - making the entire situation worse - and the only result had been that Lily hated him. A slight shadow crossed his face at that thought. He had no idea if Lily had been involved - no idea if Abe had been - and no way of knowing... "I don't suppose you'd give me my journal if I asked, would you?" He asked her. "Just to read, I'm pretty certain I couldn't write as it is..." If Abe had thought to update to him, then he'd know. Agatha smiled sweetly at Severus after she put the glass back on the bedside table. "You're welcome." She gave him a look of fond disbelief. "I'll believe that when I see it," she said tartly, relieved to find him at least able to be a little more like himself. It made her feel like he really would be well and that had been something she'd doubted for a moment when she'd first seen him. "Of course," she said, knowing there were probably people he wanted to check up, people that she probably didn't know, and she felt a sense of relief and thanks that he wasn't going to make her hunt them up when they could well be just as badly hurt as Severus and she'd hate to intrude on someone one else's worry. "I might even be able to scrounge up a Dictaquill. I think Father might have one and I'm sure he'd loan it to you. Where is your journal?" She did feel better with something to do though. She alway had. Severus hesitated at that question. He'd left it at his home, which wasn't something he usually would have done, but he'd been so distracted by the idea of getting married, and then the battle itself that he hadn't really thought. "Not here," he sighed and then rather wished that he hadn't as it was quite painful. He hated to send Agatha to his house. Outside of the fact that he'd never written her into the wards, there was just the sheer embarrassment of it and the fact that the neighbourhood was not the safest. "Don't worry about it for now," he said. "I suppose I'll get the opportunity to look at it soon enough." This was frustrating, but there wasn't really anything he could do about it, he supposed. "Have you been here all day?" He asked, suddenly aware that she'd been here almost as soon as he'd woke up. Agatha frowned when Severus hesitated and the frowned deepened a little when he said not to worry. "Are you sure?" she asked. "I'm sure it wouldn't take me long." She put her hand to her mouth. "Oh golly. I haven't even told Father and Eddie and Sarah what's happened. I left a message for Mireille but that's it." She was sure Mireille would have said something... though what if Mireille had someone injured. She hadn't thought about that, not even once during the day. She just come straight from Astra's home to the hospital then faced the endless hours of frustration as she tried to get in to see Severus. Though from what she'd seen, she hadn't been alone in that. "I... yes," she said, blushing and ducking her head. "I... was at Astra Lestrange's place when I got the message from Mr Avery. I came straight here. It was utter chaos and it took me the devil's own time to find someone who knew who you were and where you were and then they wouldn't let me in." She was actually a little indignant about that though there was part of her mind that pointed out that if Severus looked this bad now, after they'd cleaned him up and healed him and everything, she probably wouldn't have wanted to know what he looked like before. Severus blinked when she said she'd been been with Astra - Astra? There was something deeply ironic about it, but he couldn't help but feel thankful that she'd been with someone and hadn't simply been alone, as he was certain the news could not have been easy news to get. "I'm sure Mireille has told everyone who needed to be told," he reassured her, although he was oddly touched that she'd been at the hospital and hadn't even told her father or brother where she was or why she was there. Her presence here tonight was helping keep his mind off of what had happened on the battlefield. "Thank you, Agatha," he added, his eyes showing his gratitude. "And maybe - I left my journal at home, and I could tell you where, and how to get through the wards," he said softly. "But you should take Martha, or someone with you. And probably go during the day tomorrow," he added. The need to be able to communicate with people or find out about people he had no other way of finding out about was winning out over his desire to have her never see his home. He hesitated again, but he supposed it never hurt to ask. "Do you know anything?" He asked. "About who else might be hurt, or what happened?" "Oh! Yes, I'm sure she has," Agatha said, still frowning worriedly a little. "Do you think she had anyone at... at the... fight? Would her brother have been there?" She would have to find that out. Mireille had done so much for her in the lead up to the wedding and Agatha would be more than happy to help Mireille now if something terrible had happened to her brother. She was a bit curious about why Severus was so insistent that she take Martha and go during the day but she wasn't going to disobey. He obviously had a reason for saying that and while she was curious as to why, now was definitely not the right time to ask. "I can find someone," she smiled slightly. "I suspect Eddie won't let me out of his sight for a while after I contact them. He worries a bit sometimes." She nibbled on her lip. "I don't know really. I've been too worried to really open my journal though I have seen a lot of people outside in the waiting rooms and the corridors. It's hard to say whether they're here because of someone in their family or just supporting friends." Severus was going to have to remember to not nod his head. This was about the fourth time he'd tried it and found it a terrible idea. "Ferdinand was probably there," he said. "I have no idea really. I - I wonder if Mr Avery found me," he considered this. The last thing he really remembered was stumbling from the edges of the forest, trying very hard to get far enough out in the battlefield that he'd be found and wouldn't die. He'd been so close to it, and that drifted his mind back to Dearborn, which he'd determinedly tried not to think about. He closed his eyes, feeling tired and old, and wondering how long it would be before Dearborn's pronouncement of Karma would come back to kick him. How could he say he wanted to fight against the Purists and the prejudice, and still end up killing good men? "Well, I suppose it'll make itself clear soon enough. I just hope Demetrius-" he stopped. "I'm sure he's fine." Agatha nodded and made a mental note to properly check her journal a bit later and find out what she could. "I suppose he must have. Why else would he contact me and not someone else?" "Once I get your journal, you'll be able to check for yourself," she said firmly. "And I'll make sure I get that Dictaquill while I'm out so that you can assure your friends that you're alright... well, going to be alright as well." She cocked her head slightly and gave his hand a little squeeze. "Did you want me to try and find out about Demetrius? It was calming down a little out there when I came in so they may have more information. I can let my family know what's happened and that we're both okay at the same time." She smiled. "You'll probably get Martha descending on you to make sure you've got everything you need. That's if Sarah doesn't get here first." "I shall have to thank him," he said softly. He didn't really want to frighten Agatha, and he supposed she could see for herself that it had been rather serious. At her next comment, Severus glanced at her, an odd look crossing his face. The idea of people descending upon him to make certain he was all right was just - odd, but Agatha didn't seem to be thinking anything of it, so he decided to treat it as if it were normal as well. "A Dictaquill would be good," he squeezed her hand back and gave her a bit of a smile. "I'm thankful you're here Agatha. I wish-" he hesitated. "Well, I suppose it doesn't really matter what I wish, does it? They didn't say anything about when they would let me go, but I - my head is so fuzzy, I can't imagine it will be any time soon." He wished he knew what he was feeling. He supposed the confusion made sense, considering that he had just barely had time to think about any of the things that had happened, and he almost found himself wishing he could simply talk to her about all of it. But he could no more sit here and tell her what had happened on that Battle field than he could have sat down for tea with the Dark Lord, he wasn't certain she would understand, and he wasn't certain he could risk losing the way that she was treating him now when she realised that she was marrying a man who was a monster. Oh, maybe not a monster, but a murderer at the very least and what would she say to that? "I'm not certain I'm the best company," he admitted. "Where else would I be?" Agatha said simply, smiling as she leaned forward and pressed a very light kiss to his lips. They were almost married... they should already be married so there was no reason for anyone to be scandalised should they have seen that. She gave him a curious look. "Of course it matters what you wish. I care about what you wish." She chuckled and squeezed his hand. "No, I think you will be here for a while yet so you should just relax as much as you can and concentrate on healing." She almost wanted to ask how he'd gotten so badly hurt. What had he been doing? Who had he been fighting? Why had he been fighting? But he was hardly in any condition to answer such questions and she wanted to have a good hard think about whether she wanted to know the answers to those questions before she asked them. She might not like them after all. They might require her to face things she'd been... ignoring. So she also needed to have a think about whether she had the courage to face that. She was fairly certain she did but she ought to think through all the consequences first/ She was just about to say something more when the mediwitch who had shown her in came bustling back into the room and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Time to go, dear. He needs his sleep." Agatha wanted to argue, wanted to beg for just a little more time but one glance at Severus made her subside. He did need the sleep and she had things that she ought to be doing. Still it was with great reluctance that she rose to her feet, still holding onto his hand lightly. She leaned over and gave him another soft kiss. "Get some sleep, Severus. I'll bring your journal in tomorrow and hopefully I'll have some more news for you then." Severus rather wanted to argue as well. Having her here was nice, and there was very little about his current situation was nice, but he knew it would be very boring for her really. He was tired, even though he'd just woke up what couldn't have been more than an hour before. He swallowed and squeezed her hand lightly and it was very likely that he would fall asleep very quickly after she left. "News would be good, but come whether or not you have news," he said feeling pathetic at how eager he sounded to have her return. But he didn't really have anyone else who was likely to come by. Abe really couldn't show up to visit, and although he supposed Demetrius might, he still had no idea if Demetrius was all right or not, or really what had happened. He tried to quell the questions so that they wouldn't pop up and keep him awake for the next hour instead of sleeping. "Thank you," he added soberly. "I'll see you tomorrow." |