Severus Snape is tired of the lies. (fortiscadere) wrote in blurred_lines, @ 2009-01-25 02:19:00 |
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Dinner parties such as the one he was currently attending were always a it of an emotional quandary for Severus. Was he pleased that he had been extended the invitation despite his blood status, or was it frustrating to have to try to remember all of the manners that he inevitably would forget? And the truth, of course, was that it was a mixture of both. A year ago it would have been far more the former than the latter, but considering his current mind set he was having to work more to hide his impatience with the lies among society. He had found himself envious of Rodolphus Lestrange's books, and wished he had the name, the money, and the family history to sit and read before dinner. He'd reached the table with his place card about the same time as a young woman he didn't recognise immediately. Perfect. Not only would he have to remember manners - complicated sets of them that despite memorising etiquette books he almost always forgot one or two important things - he would need to come up with small talk with someone he didn't really know. Setting his jaw slightly, he took his seat, giving her a quick smile. Agatha had been wondering whether it had really been wise accepting the invitation to this dinner party and whether it would have just been easier to put up with her father's displeasure instead. She'd felt awkward and unsure from the moment she'd put the dress on at home and that hadn't changed since she'd arrived at the Gibbons' home. She was just horrible in social situations. She never knew what to say and she'd have much preferred if this was some kind of dance because at least then there would have been places where she could hide and just watch everyone else. But at a dinner party she didn't have that option. When it came time for dinner she made her way to the tables and found her place at the same time as the young man who was apparently sitting next to her. She gave him a hesitant but polite smile in return and sat down. She glanced down at the cutlery and mentally ran through the order and what each one was for then did the same for the glasses. It had taken her ever so long to memorise all of the ettiquette surrounding dinner parties and she was sure she barely remembered half of it... and the worse thing was, she remembered the amusing things Martha had said making fun of such stifling manners more than the actual manners themselves. She just hoped she wasn't going to make a fool of herself. Severus took a breath and glanced over at the young woman directly next to him. He gave her a hesitant smile, trying to remember if he was to introduce himself, or simply assume that she knew him. It wasn't as if the information wasn't on his place card or hers. Miss Agatha Chubb was what hers said, so in lieu of being able to remember what the proper way to handle the situation was, he decided to assume she knew him. After all, they all ran in these circles at some point or another, even if he didn't know her well, he had at least heard of her. It didn't mean that he knew what to say, however, so after a moment's hesitation, and stalling by looking at his menu, he turned and gave her a quick tight smile. "I think I'm going to go with option one, what about you?" Small talk, light, you don't have to be her best friend, that isn't the point. Agatha gave a small start when the young man... Mr Severus Snape according to his place card... spoke to her and she immediately and silently scolded herself for it. She was at a dinner party. Talking to the person next to you was something she was supposed to do and it wasn't like she was an imbecile or anything. She could talk to people... she just didn't know what to say here. Still, it seemed he did and she latched onto the benign topic with relief. "Oh, they all look awfully good," she said, though as she glanced down at the menu she felt that the second option was far too heavy for her. She'd gotten used to the food on the continent. "Oh! I think you might be right about option one. It does look marvellous. I haven't seen the combination of chicken and peaches here in Britain before though I had something similar in France." Thank Merlin, Severus thought as she mentioned being in France. She had given him something to latch onto and ask her about - or at least she hopefully was giving him that. Hopefully she hadn't been there for some reason that would be improper to ask about. He nodded, and touched his wand to the menu to bring the first course to the table, hopefully quickly so that he could pay attention to the food as well as any conversation. "France?" He was relieved as the food appeared in front of him and after only the briefest seconds of hesitation, he picked up the proper fork and turned to her. "You spent time in France, then? Business or pleasure?" Surely that question would be safe enough. Agatha followed his lead and tapped the menu with her wand. She set it aside just in time before the first course appeared in front of her. She'd forgotten what it was like having enough house elves to do this. They only had the one at home and she had always tried not to give the creature too much work. Merlin knows Father always did so she and Eddie had kept their requests to a minimum. And she'd had Martha for a lot of things anyway. "Gosh... a bit of both really," she said, picking up her fork. "Well, not really business as such. More research. I've spent most of the time since I left Hogwarts travelling around Europe, researching Quidditch, both the modern game as well the sites where the ancient game and the precursors to it were played." She drew in a small breath then let it out, firmly reminding herself that gabbling on about Quidditch was not what she was supposed to do tonight. "And of course, Martha, my chaperone, insisted that we see other things," she continued hurriedly. '"Museums and art galleries and such." Severus took a bite of the first course and decided it was good enough although seafood was not typically his preferred choice if he were given one - still, the rest of the menu seemed preferred to the other options so he could manage. He glanced over at her trying not to utterly tune out the information about Quidditch - a subject he honestly could care less about. Still, the fact that she had travelled so widely was somewhat enviable he thought, so he looked over to her and nodded. "So not just France then? You were other places in Europe as well?" Severus asked trying to think about how long she would have been out of Hogwarts. She seemed about his age although he had no memory of her from school, so surely she was not his year. Of course, he was well aware that there were people in his year that were in other houses that he had absolutely no memory of either. "That must have been rather enjoyable." Agatha took a bite of the shrimp and smiled in delight. She hadn't had anything with truffle in it since she'd been in Europe and she'd forgotten how much she liked it. It was dreadfully expensive though and hardly worth buying for day to day meals. Perhaps if she... or rather Father... ever held a dinner party she'd aim to have a dish with truffle or truffle oil in it. It had been nice to get back to ordinary fare at home but she did miss the more expensive meals a bit. "Oh, yes," she said with an enthusiasm that was swiftly muted when she remembered where she was. "We went to France, Germany, Bulgaria, Portugal, Luxembourg, Norway, Poland and Transylvania then back into Ireland before before Father owled and insisted that I come home. It was absolutely wizard fun!" She blushed and winced a little as she realised what she'd just said. She was supposed to be a lady tonight and she was sure proper pureblood ladies didn't say they'd had 'wizard fun'. "I've got all sorts of information for my book and I even managed to unearth an ancient Bludger in a bog in Ireland." Severus glanced at her thinking that her speech certainly didn't mark her as a pureblood. Then again, the Chubbs weren't, were they? He realised he didn't know, but if they were, surely he would know? He had made it a point in school to get to know all of the pureblood families, if not by making friends with their kids - when possible - by name and reputation at least. He was certain the Chubbs weren't, and as the Gibbon's had invited non-purebloods, it was quite likely. He took another bite of his food and tried to figure out what to ask about next, but she'd said she was writing a book? "What's your book about?" He asked, realising that he'd let the silence in the conversation drag just a few moments too long. Or at least it felt just a little too long for comfortable etiquette. He could assume that she was writing something on Quidditch if she were talking about unearthing bludgers. Maybe he should ask about the art museums she'd obviously spent some time at. He really knew nothing particularly about Quidditch, and if he asked about art museums he would probably be able to actually add something to the conversation. Maybe... Agatha continued to eat, reminding herself to eat slowly and daintily because she wasn't munching on a sandwich at her desk but at a formal dinner party and wondering if she should say something because hadn't the silence been stretching just a little too long. But then he asked a question and her face lit up. "Quidditch or rather the history of Quidditch. There's plenty of books on the modern game and everything surrounding it but there really isn't much on its origins and where it was played and the equipment they used. I mean there's books on the obvious subjects like the Snitch but I'm looking at a more broad-ranging book including how they hid what they were doing from the Muggles of those days because they weren't as numerous as they are now. Neither were we for that matter but still..." She suddenly broke off and blushed. Here she was rattling on about Quidditch when she'd promised herself that she wouldn't do that. She'd probably bored Mr Snape to tears as she usually did to people. She quickly cast around for something else to talk about and realised she'd been prattling on about herself and hadn't even asked once about him. "Erm, what is it you do, Mr Snape?" she asked, trying not to wince at the horribly awkward question. Salazar, he'd been sat next to James Potter. He tried to not visibly show any boredom with the topic. It was clear that she enjoyed it, and it would have been rude to act as bored with the topic as he actually felt. He took another bite, chewing carefully but then she actually stopped talking about Quidditch, and as he looked over he realised she looked almost as awkward as he felt and he felt momentarily a little badly for not being more interested. And although the question was rather blunt, he finished the bite and looked over at her. "At the moment I'm working at the Lestrange Library in Hogsmeade. I've been doing that for," he hesitated as 'since Mr Lestrange went to Azkaban' was obviously not the proper way to state that. "the last few months," he added carefully. "Before that I was apprenticed to the Potioneer Augustus James. I'm still working on that, as I'm studying to get the Potion Master's title - hopefully before the year is out." That was assuming he didn't get a position in the new government, something he still kept hoping that perhaps he'd have the opportunity to obtain. He stopped uncertain how much more to actually tell her about. Would she have any interest in his work? "I suppose if you're doing research for your book, I'm sure there are some useful titles in the library," he added, with a brief smile. She nodded as she listened to what he did. While the library sounded interesting... though she supposed that if you actually worked there you wouldn't be able to do your own research all the time... the potions stuff wasn't. She'd never been overly good at them and had given up the subject after Fifth Year. And just as well too given the mark she'd received in the OWL. "Oh, er, good luck with getting your Mastery," she said awkwardly, wondering if that was what she was supposed to do. "I'm sure you will get it. I mean, I can't imagine anyone putting all that work in and not being good enough." She lit up again at the mention of using the library though she felt a bit nervous about being anywhere where Mr Lestrange might be. "Oh, do you think there would be?" she said with surprise. "Mr Lestrange doesn't seem the type to keep books on frivolous subjects and I'm sure a man like him must think Quidditch is terribly frivolous." She smiled wryly. "Most people do. Even Father does, he just indulges me because he thinks it's better than me spending my days just idling around the house." She imagined that's what the pureblood girls did, certainly it seemed so from what she'd seen in the journals. It seemed a terribly boring way of living to her though they didn't seem to mind. "Thank you," Severus smiled slightly, the second course appearing as he had finished the first and he considered it for a moment before actually taking a bite. The statement had been awkward, but it seemed as if she probably meant it, and even if she hadn't, it was nice enough of her. Severus shrugged slightly. He wasn't absolutely certain that there would be books on Quidditch in the library. But the Lestrange Library had not yet failed him on any subject and he had looked up a number of somewhat obscure ones over the past few months. "I couldn't say for certain as I haven't actually looked for information on Quidditch, of any variety, but I've spent quite a bit of time researching various things and it wouldn't surprise me if there were some books on the topic. The Library is very complete when it comes to anything important to Wizarding history and culture. Mr Lestrange takes those things very seriously." He took a bite and turned to watch her for a moment, measuring her up. He was certain most of the women in this room probably did idle around the house, or at least were interested only in those things that were 'appropriate'. For all Travers annoyed Severus with his talk of women's place, Severus knew he was more truthful than most of the men in the Purist circles, for all he had no tact or discretion. If Miss Chubb was allowed to travel and learn about Quidditch, as she seemed to be suggesting, she was perhaps more fortunate than many of the women in the room. He turned his attention back to his food, suddenly uncertain what to say and well aware that he'd not particularly given her any opening to continue the conversation. Still, he wasn't certain what opening he could give her - to offer to do research for her seemed a bit forward, and perhaps she'd not have any interest in such. Agatha nodded as she thought about that, barely noticing when her entrée was replaced by the next course. "Oh yes, I suppose he does. He's an awfully intimidating man though. Does he spend much time in the library?" She hoped he didn't. She didn't know what she'd do if she came face to face with the man. She might just die. She contemplated the idea of asking Father if he would allow her to go to the library. She was sure he'd say yes, especially since it was in Hogsmeade. He didn't like her going to Diagon Alley unaccompanied but surely a sleepy little village like Hogsmeade would be alright. And if she could see what Mr Lestrange had, if he had any books that she didn't already own, well, it would be truly excellent. Surely he'd say yes? After all it was Mr Lestrange's library, not anything run by some of the 'rabble' as Father called everyone he didn't approve of. She took a bite of her meal and realised that she quite literally did not know what to say next. She didn't know enough about potions to carry on a conversation about them and it seemed that he didn't much care for Quidditch. She had no idea what people did speak about at dinner parties like this. The weather seemed dreadfully dull, current events seemed too sober and serious for what was supposed to be a frivolous event and she'd never really mastered the art of small talk. Severus took a bite of his food to hide a smile at her commentary on Rodolphus Lestrange. She was correct, of course, that Mr Lestrange could be intimidating, but he so rarely heard anyone refer to the fact. If her manner of speaking and her last name had not already given it away, that comment alone would have given him the necessary information to deduce that she was certainly not used to moving in Pureblood circles. "He doesn't spend much, no," Severus said thoughtfully. Of course now that he was returned from Azkaban, Severus had no way of knowing what Mr Lestrange's future plans would be in regard to the library. Next week he could very well start spending every afternoon at the Library. He half wanted to make a small jab at her fearfulness, but he decided the sarcasm would be in poor taste, and likely would embarrass her. He took another bite and internally sighed that it was not already at dessert. He should have much preferred being sat somewhere with someone that he knew and would not feel obligated to make small talk with. After another awkward moment he turned to look at her. "So, did you see much art when you were abroad? You mentioned that you'd been to some museums," he turned what he hoped was an interested expression, while trying not to think about the fact that if he and Demetrius had been sitting next to each other they could have made absurd commentary about anything and everything. Agatha was relieved when he asked a question that she could answer with at least some knowledge. How did these people know what to talk about with a complete stranger? Then again maybe they hadn't been seated next to complete strangers. It wasn't as if she'd really mixed with this sort of company at school and from what she could tell from what she remembered of faces and names, most of these people were Slytherins. She'd never really mixed with the Slytherins except in class. She hadn't really liked them though at least they hadn't been as horrible as the Gryffindors. "Oh gosh, yes," she said with a small smile. "Martha insisted that since we were in Europe, we had to do more than go and watch Quidditch and tromp through old bogs and fens. I really enjoyed going to the Louvre. Martha insisted that even though it's Muggle, the art transcends the divide. I think she's right. The paintings were quite marvellous and the Mona Lisa is so small. I do like her smile though. It's so mysterious. I'm sure she had some great secret that amused her terribly and the artist somehow caught that. I do wonder what that secret was though." "I suppose it could have been anything," Severus said, smiling slightly to himself and then he looked over at her. "What do women keep secrets about then? Probably it was one of those things. The artist just happened to see it and paint her? Perhaps if he'd been a Wizard we'd actually be able to coax it out of her then." He'd seen pictures of course and he found himself suddenly jealous of how much she'd been able to see. It wasn't a particularly new feeling though, and it was something he wasn't going to have an opportunity to remedy any time soon. The types of opportunities he'd sought were not likely to provide the opportunities she'd had with her travel - at least not any time soon. Perhaps if the Ministry stabilized-but that was asking for something that he really shouldn't be asking to happen. And it was also not a train of thought that he was likely to wish to pursue in this company. He hesitated, but in truth his general dislike of Muggles did not extend to their art. "I think talented people can do a lot with the material they are given," he added neutrally. It was a safe enough statement, hopefully even including the company they were in, although he didn't think she seemed like the type to go running to Lestrange if he said something that might have been marginal. "It must have been incredible to have the opportunity to travel so," he said, thankful as the dessert was there - neither of them would have to continue small talk much longer. Agatha ate a few bites of her meal then laughed a little. "I'm sure I don't know. I'm afraid I've never been a terribly girly girl. Too much running around rampant with my brother when we were children, I'd imagine. Father depairs of me sometimes." Father didn't just depairs of her, he told her precisely what he expected of her in detail... and 'hoydenish behaviour' as he put it was not among that. "Though I like to think that even if she was in a wizarding portrait she'd keep that secret of hers. She seems to enjoy keeping it so very much." That was perhaps a bit fanciful of her but there had just been something about the look in the Mona Lisa's eyes that seemed to say to her that the secret was a quite lovely one and that she was quite happy to know what it was and keep it to herself. "Oh, I know," she said, eying the dessert with delight. "I'm so grateful to Father for allowing me to travel as much as I did. He was a bit dubious about the idea at first but when Martha spoke to him, he finally relented. I think she told Father that she'd ensure that I did more than just run around doing Quidditch things." She gave a small rueful laugh. "And she did. I'm glad she was there." She gave a smile that almost as secretive as the Mona Lisa's. "Though I expect he didn't quite think we'd spend so much time in Muggle areas but as Martha said... most of the world's great artworks are in the Muggle world and it would be a crime to ignore them just because of that. We even went into the Vatican. Martha insisted on a side journey to Rome just for that. She said I needed to see the cathedral there." Severus listened to her, taking a bite of the dessert that had been placed in front of them. She was enthusiastic about everything it seemed, which was something that he wasn't always certain how to respond to. But in this case, it was keeping the conversation from being utterly awkward, which he appreciated, and perhaps a benefit of being placed next to someone who wasn't a pureblood, was that they probably were not noticing when he was making errors in manners. "She might at that," Severus thought to himself that secrets sometimes had to be kept. Certainly he seemed to keep enough of them, and if his secrets weren't kept the least of his concerns would be making certain he did not mess up manners at a silly dinner party. "I suppose some secrets aren't meant to be shared. If you share them, they are hardly secret are they then?" He felt as if he should make some statement to the contradict her father's worries or despairing of her. And while she had not been precisely fishing for a complement, but similarly to how she had wished him well earlier with his test, it seemed as if he should be equally generous. He sat down the fork and reached for his drink giving her a tight smile. "I'm certain your father needn't worry," he offered, trying not to sound as awkward as he felt making the statement. "You seem a lovely," young lady? Or lady? or woman? The indecision in his head lead to a seconds pause before he finally settled on, "lady." But he was afraid the pause had made the entire thing seem insincere and he frowned at himself just briefly, before adding quickly. "If nothing else, the travel has given you experiences many others will not have had." He felt rather as if he had botched that entirely, and he internally sighed, feeling hot with embarrassment. She was going to think he was insincere, when it was not so much that as simply that he hadn't known how to say what he'd felt should be said. Agatha looked down at her dessert as she considered that. "Yes, I suppose you're right," she said thoughtfully. "That is essentially the definition of a secret... something that you know and no one else or only a few trusted people know." She grinned quickly. "Bet the Mona Lisa's was a good secret." She wasn't sure if she should be pleased or a bit indignant at his attempt at a compliment. It seemed like he was trying to be sincere but the hesitations kind of robbed it of most of that sincerity. The question was should she just let it pass or make an issue of it. She supposed that she ought to just let it pass. It seemed to be the sort of thing that a proper lady would do and she was almost certain that they wouldn't make a scene at such a public event as this. "Oh, er, thank you," she said with a slightly awkward smile. "Yes, it has. I'm ever so grateful for having had the opportunity." She fell silent and concentrated on her dessert, not know what else to say. Severus picked at the fruit on the dessert rather wishing that this would be over as well and that he could just go join Demetrius, hell, even Aquila, for brandy or cigars or whatever it was they would end up doing. Discussion on politics, and how the Dark Lord was the most brilliant thing under the sun, was pretending far more preferable to pretending he was comfortable talking to a total stranger. He took a bite and the silence felt almost oppressive as he frantically sought for something to say that would not sound utterly improper or horrendously rude. "I wonder if anyone did know her secret?" He wondered aloud. "It seems to me most people can't keep secrets well, and so it seems likely that someone did know that secret. Perhaps then you would not even have to ask Mona Lisa, you could ask the person who knew - of course, that person is likely dead, and probably did not bother sharing it." He was rambling about something that was not even important, but then again wasn't that the definition of small talk? "I fancy you have a secret or two," he added, trying for humour, even though he wasn't certain it was working. Mostly, he felt pathetic, and he glanced to see if Mireille had risen yet, but people were still eating dessert, so likely that would not happen for a few more minutes, and he would be stuck until then. "Not that I expect you share them easily," and he took another bite of the dessert so that he would have to stop talking. Agatha gave a small start when he spoke, her fork clattering momentarily against the plate. "Maybe the artist, Leonardo Da Vinci, knew what her secret was. It's a quite intimate thing, don't you think? Having your portrait painted. You spend so much time sitting calmly with the artist. You'd imagine that secrets would come out. Maybe that's why he painted her like that? Because he knew her secret and agreed that it was a marvellous one." She laughed at the idea of having a secret then realised that perhaps she did. She hadn't told Mr and Mrs Lestrange everything she'd heard on that radio show and she certainly didn't tell anyone about the doubts she had and that last one was probably a rather dangerous secret. After all she shouldn't really have those doubts, should she? It didn't seem like any of the other ladies she'd seen writing in the journals did... though she supposed if they did, they wouldn't speak about them either. "I think everyone has a secret or two," she said soberly. "I don't think we'd be human if we didn't." "Perhaps Da Vinci did know," Severus agreed, placing his fork to the side of the plate as he finished the dessert, and then turning to watch her carefully. "It would be intimate to be painted that way and I think artists have a gift for seeing people. Perhaps even if she didn't share it with him, he knew it from observing her." He had meant his original comment to be light, but she'd turned serious in a way that made him wonder what precisely she might have to keep secret. He was pretty certain that if they could exchange them, that he'd have the upper hand in terms of dangerous secrets one really should not share with the world at large, but he wasn't going to pry. Even if he had cared, it was not the sort of thing one did at a dinner party, or at a table full of people one would not wish to share secrets. And out of the corner of his eye he realised that Mireille had risen signifying the end of the dinner and with an internal sigh of relief he also stood. Thank Merlin. "It has been a pleasure, Miss Chubb," he said in a way that sounded sincere (he hoped), despite the fact that it had not been a pleasure, but rather a dinner length of uncomfortable awkward moments. "Perhaps he did," Agatha said with a small smile. She liked that idea. That the Mona Lisa would have shared her great secret with Leonardo Da Vinci. Just a pity she had no one she could share her secrets with. Eddie would just say she should do what father wanted her to do and keep such thoughts to herself and Father would only get angry at her. She saw Miss Gibbon rise and gave an imperceptible sigh of relief. Not that what was facing her was much better. Gossip, small talk and girly stuff. All things she didn't much care about. "Thank you, Mr Snape. It was lovely to speak with you." She hoped that was the right thing to say as she rose from her chair, dropped a small curtsey to Mr Snape and made her way over to join the rest of the ladies. |