Lily "Bun in the Oven" Potter (unyielding) wrote in blurred_lines, @ 2008-10-11 13:51:00 |
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She knew he'd be coming home soon, unless he had decided that he was too afraid to see if she was actually willing to forgive him. The little kitten slumped over Lily's foot and she smiled down at it as she stirred the stew. She thought it was an excellent gesture on James' part, even if it didn't prove that he understood that she wasn't a housecat. Lily hoped that this could remind him. If nothing else, she knew that he was at least serious about trying to make things right with her. She set the spoon to the side and reached down under the cabinet for a mixing bowl, laughing softly as the kitten tried to propel itself straight into the other bowels and pots. "Right," she said. "Don't you go trying to pee in those." She scratched behind it's ears and set the bowl on the counter and began to pour the flour. James apparated onto the front step, glad that he landed in one piece instead of getting caught in the wards. Lily had written that she had no intention of keeping him out, but Gryffindor tempers could be unpredictable. The pumpkin tarts had survived the trip as well and the huge bag of cat items he'd bought at the pet store. There was food, a food bowl, a collar, toys, and a catnip treat for good measure. He hoped that sweets along with the kitten would be enough to keep her from shouting at him from the moment he stepped in the house. Well, there was also the promise of news from Marlene. He wondered if she'd told Lily yet. That would definitely break the ice. "Lils, I'm home," he called, when he stepped into the house. "Kitty, I'm home," he added. He stepped into the kitchen with his hands up in surrender. "Don't hex me, or you'll make me drop our dessert," he teased, giving her a half smile (It had to be a half smile since his face still hadn't fixed). Although Lily might push him away, she always wanted him to have the chance to run back after her like he had done for so long. Yes, she had been frustrated -- but she was married and a commitment was a commitment and there was no way that she would ever lock him out. She knew that she could cow him if she wanted, and so in her mind it was a question of if he was ready to face her, than if she was ready to face him. She turned around and leaned her back against the counter, watching him carefully. They hadn't seen each other in a week. A part of Lily wanted to run and throw her arms around him and kiss him, but the other part wanted to reach for her wooden spoon and smack him with it. Instead, she just stood there. "My wand is on top of the icebox," she said, shrugging a shoulder. "So I guess you're safe for now." The kitten started gamboling over to him and landed on his shoe, pulling at the shoe laces. Lily laughed a little and then turned back to work on the dumplings she had started, unsure of what to say to her husband. "So you got some things for the kitty?" "Wouldn't want kitty to think I'm a bad dad right off the start," he said, putting the box and bag on the counter before stooping down to pick up the little grey kitten. He cuddled it close and kissed it on top of the head. "I'm glad you wanted him. I'd promised him he could stay with us and I didn't want his ickle feelings hurt," he said, though his voice was softer and slightly silly since he was half baby-talking to the cat. It was strange, not discussing their fight, and instead talking about their new pet, but James wasn't going to complain. Though he never seemed to care about speaking his mind, he hated when it put things off with him and Lily. "You talk to Marlene yet?" he asked hopefully. She smushed the batter with her bare hands, kneading it and squishing it, taking out her frustration at this uncomfortable situation out on the dough. Lily listened to the way James spoke to the kitten and she couldn't help but mirror the half smile she had seen before. James's smile, of course, was only half of one after that attack. Another visual reminder that she had every day to show how far the war had taken them, how far it could go. And yet he didn't want to admit that in order to stop all of it she would have to risk herself -- or, if he could admit that, was angry at her for wanting to do it and expected that she would ask his permission first. How could she do that? She knew he would have said no. "I did," Lily said, half annoyed at him for bringing that up. She was so incredibly happy for Marlene and Remus that she could hardly be mad at her husband. She knew that they were meant to be together and she was so glad that Remus apparently believed that Marlene wasn't lying when she said that she loved him and that she wanted to be with him. Really, it was about time for Remus to trust himself! "It's wonderful," she said, turning around. Despite her frustrating week with James, she did want to share this joy with him. "I know," he said. "Course, I figure he's going to call it off at least once, and we'll probably have to chase him to South America to drag him back, but after he gets it out of his system it's going to be stellar," he said. "Your uncle Remus is marrying your Aunt Marlene," he explained very seriously to the kitten as he held it up so he could look it in the eye. "I'll sneak you into the wedding, buy you a little tux," he whispered conspiratorily, before holding it back to his chest again. "But still, it's absolutely brilliant. I was worried Pete'd be the only other Marauder to make it down the aisle," he said, leaning back against the counter and then shimmying slightly to sit on top of it. He didn't want to put down the kitten so his hands were occupied. He realized the was babbling slightly, but he really didn't want to get into all of the things that were wrong just now. He knew it was unavoidable, but a part of him really wished they could simply go on with their lives like none of this was happening. It wasn't going to happen, but a boy could hope. "He wouldn't be Remus if he didn't," she said. "And I don't know that the cat isn't a girl. I can't tell." She paused over the dough, looking down at her sticky fingers and decided she might as well get on with it. "So, Potter. You know I'm not just a housecat to be stuck here and there?" The kitten was squirming to get out of James's hands and explore. Lily watched it, knowing that she had felt like that before. James bit his tongue for a moment to keep himself from saying something he'd regret. "Yes, I know that you're not just a housecat to be stuck here and there," he repeated. Not rudely, but simply as matter-of-factly as he could. He slid off the counter and put the kitten on the ground. It returned to attacking his shoelaces immediately. "It's impossible for me to apologize for wanting to protect you, but I am sorry that I went about it badly," he said. That was about as good as he could do. It wasn't that he wasn't sorry, because he really truly was, but he wasn't going to lie to Lily to smooth things over. "And if you don't want to keep fighting, I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree. I won't try and stop you though," he said. "And don't think I didn't have a million brilliant ideas about ways to do it," he added, his eyes glimmering in spite of the seriousness of the situation, because his memories of those plans were amusing. Lily took her time turning the tap on and rinsing the dough off her hands. She dried her hands off on her apron and turned to look at James, taking two steps closer so that she could touch him. Lily reached one hand out and placed it on his arm. "Listen," she said, "I'm alright with you wanting to protect me. I want to protect you, too. And I was wrong to just volunteer without asking you, but in a way I might have been wrong to ask you first because you would have said no and without me there I don't think this could work. I'm a Muggleborn. This solidifies a case against them. It's more plausible. And I need to fight, James. I need to do something. Can you at least admit that I need to do this?" "I can admit that you think you need to do this," he sighed. Merlin, he hated the way her voice sounded when she was like this. It made him feel guilty all the way down to his shoes. "Fine, fine-- you need to do this," he said, though he choked slightly on the words. "I know it isn't fair to want you to be someone you aren't... someone who keeps herself safe to keep me happy," he said, cracking a slight smile as he said it outloud because it was absolutely ridiculous. That definitely wasn't the girl he'd married. Lily moved even closer, feeling more relaxed, and put her arms around his shoulders. "Do you remember why you fell in love with me, Potter?" she said. "Because I remember why you said you did, and if you keep trying to push me to tameness with your protectiveness it's going to squash that part of me down and I'll be bitter and unhappy and so will you. Don't ever just let me go, but try and remember that." She leaned her forehead against his, taking a deep breath. It felt so good to be close to James again, and to be able to smell him, even if she could smell Sirius's shampoo on him. "It was for the television," he teased as he leaned forward to kiss her on top of the head. "That and the independence," he admitted. "But I wasn't tryi--" He cut himself off because this wasn't an argument he could win. "I don't want you to be bitter and unhappy," he agreed. He wasn't happy about this, and he wasn't going to be, but if it meant that much to Lily then he'd suck it up and deal with it. He was sure he'd spend a lot of time ranting to Sirius in secret, but that's as far as he'd let it go. He kissed the top of her head again and then tipped up her chin with his finger so he could kiss her properly. "I missed you." "Oh, no you don't!" Lily said, pulling away from him before he could give her a proper kiss. She took four quick steps backwards until her back was to the stove. "No kissing, not yet. I told you what you had to do." Lily wore a brilliant grin and reached for the wooden spoon, ready to fight him if he tried to kiss her before he'd sung his drunken poem. James looked like a man about to be hung, and he rolled his eyes, but he began to recite the poem, even attempting a stab at a tune that sounded an awful lot like a Gryffindor Quidditch song. "Lily Potter is a girl with eyes green as the pitch, when I tried to catch her, she was tricky like a sniiiiiiitch. She's got legs like beaters bats She's sexy as a broom. I've ridden her for miles, from the kitchen to our roooooooom," He sang, changing the words at the end in the hopes that she'd smack him with the spoon. When she wasn't yelling about serious things, he really did like it when she was playing mad. "Ridden her for--- James!" She let out a loud laugh and hit his bum with the spoon. "You didn't actually say that on your journal, did you? I don't remember that!" She would be lying if she said she didn't find the poem incredibly endearing. Even if it wasn't the most cleverest of poems, it was her poem and he had written it. "And if I fill you up with alcohol again am I going to be more poetry?" James laughed. "That was originally in the poem, but even drunk I realized that might get some comments I wouldn't want," he explained. "But Merlin, don't ever make me sing it again. When I read it sober I turned red," he said. "I couldn't believe Sirius would let me do that and not toss my journal into the fire first. Though he was so drunk it probably sounded like Shakespeare to him. Some day I'll write you a proper poem," he promised. "If I can. I'm loads better with math than words you know," he reminded her. "But do I get my kiss now? Seems only fair now that you've tortured me," he said, not waiting for her to reply as he reached for her waist and pulled her close, pressing his lips to hers. "You ridiculous boy," breathed Lily, snuggling herself against him and kissing him. Eight days without him had been far too long. Never again she thought. They'd have to work out their issues faster than this. Although, she reasoned, their hands searching each other hungrily, Perhaps the make-up isn't so bad... |