jacqueline "the infant wonder" macnair (madrugada) wrote in blurred_lines, @ 2008-09-18 19:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! [1979-09] september, jacqueline macnair (née wilkes), narcissa malfoy (née black) |
whom Narcissa Malfoy and Jacqueline Wilkes
where Malfoy Manor
when 18 September 1979; Afternoon
rating PG. They talk about kissing and stuff.
synopsis Jacq, ostensibly at Malfoy Manor to drop off the list of wounded, seeks out some sex ed from Narcissa.
Armed with the list Regulus had provided her, she had owled ahead of herself to let Mrs. Malfoy know that she would be dropping by shortly in order to give it to her personally. This was all a ruse, of course, as Jacqueline had an alterior motive for seeking out the company of the older woman. With Georgina gona nd her mother not an option, there were very few women who she could seek out for advice on this particular subject whom she could trust to be knowledgeable and discreet. Her hopes had fallen to Mrs. Malfoy, then, who she hoped against hope would have the answers she sought. Taking a deep breath, she knocked quietly on the front door of the Manor. Narcissa was putting the final touch on a vase of poppies for Lucius' study when Tiddles announced that someone was at the door. "That would be Miss Wilkes with lists for me," she replied, not bothering to make eye contact with the elf. "Show her in." Narcissa smiled slightly at the bright red flowers- the last from the Manor's garden. It was unlikely Lucius would notice them, as he was probably still buried in books to find a countercurse for the antennae problem, but it made her feel somewhat better. Plus, she was enjoying the use of both arms. Stepping down the corridor to the foyer, she smiled warmly at Jacqueline as the elf answered the door. "It is lovely to see you! Do come in." She followed the elf without a second glance at it, her return smile for her host equally as warm. "Thank you for receiving me on such short notice, Mrs. Malfoy. Regulus provided me with the list and I thought it best to bring it to you as soon as possible." She was wearing a simple dark-blue tea-dress, something demure so that she would look as innocent as possible when she asked Mrs. Malfoy her questions. Perception was everything, of course. "Excellent," Narcissa glanced over the list as they stepped into the parlour. "Hmmm, Severus, Alecto... I do hope Mr. Dolohov is feeling better; it is quite a relief that he has come out of his coma." They certainly had enough medical supplies left over from the drive for Tinworth as well as what had been collected for this event. "Are you and Julianne fairing alright? She was wearing gloves at tea yesterday, which I suppose means her hand is still not quite healed." Of the Wilkes twins, Julianne had always been easier to understand. Narcissa wasn't sure what she thought of this short-haired, philosophical one. Julianne had been here for tea yesterday? She managed to keep her surprise from her face at having been excluded from the gathering. She knew that Narcissa hadn't meant it to be, but she did find that rather insulting. "I'm afraid I had to confiscate her journal when she opened her stitches again, but she's fine now. I have a minor burn that's healing well." "Oh, I do wish she had been more careful, but that is good news, I suppose. As for the tea, it was simply to meet my caterer," Narcissa clarified, tugging slightly on her left sleeve to ensure that the bandaging on her arm was covered completely. "She wants to plan a family picnic event for the Foundation, but I'm sure she's told you all about that. It is absolutely lovely to have the two of you involved with this. The medical packages are a fabulous idea." She nodded, smiling at the compliment. "Thank you, Mrs. Malfoy. I was feeling a bit useless with all our men so incapacitated but unable to offer any real help." She was wondering how to best broach this subject, and was hoping that she would be invited to tea or somesuch in order to pave the way for her to bring it up. "Do you have anywhere to go, or will you stay and take tea with me in the garden?" Narcissa asked, right on cue. "There are so few days left until the weather turns dreadful; I do complain far too much about the rain in Wiltshire, but it is entirely deserved." The poppies were gone, and soon the last of the roses would be, and the birds would have to be penned in and everything would become a mess of water and mud. "Oh, I'm free for the afternoon, thank you for the invitation." She smiled genuinely at that, glad that this seemed to be working out her way. She waited for her host to lead the way into the garden. "Will Mr. Malfoy be joining us?" "I'm afraid not; he is still recuperating from Saturday," Narcissa said as they stepped outside, having given Tiddles the glare that roughly translated to 'get tea outside now'. Burns and such healed much faster than antennae, apparently. Not that she was planning to bring that up, of course. One simply didn't discuss that sort of thing over tea. "Ahh, here," she stepped into the gazebo and glanced around, nodding curtly as the elf hurried over with a loaded tea tray. "Do take a seat," she said to Jacqueline. "Milk and sugar?" "How unfortunate. I hope his recovery concludes quickly." She took a seat where indicated and smiled politely. "Milk only, please." Carefully rearranging her skirt so that it fell gracefully, she accepted her tea from her host with another polite smile. "Since I have you as a captive audience, Mrs. Malfoy, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions on a subject that has been on my mind as of late." Narcissa gracefully poured the tea (well, she had been practising since age four) and passed the first cup to Jacqueline, before adding milk and sugar to her own. "But of course," she replied, offering her guest cake. More likely than not, it had to do with marriage or society. It was the most common topic of conversation, after all. She took the offered plate with equal grace (for what girl of their standing hadn't been practising from the same age?) and set it down beside her cup. "I know this may seem a bit...well, forward, but my mother is not exactly the woman I would go to for this kind of thing, and, Georgina..." she trailed off, unsure how to finish that thought. "I ask you this expecting the utmost discretion, of course." Oh, dear. Again. Narcissa supposed it was a good thing that girls of that age found her approachable enough to ask for advice on this subject, but still, that did not make it any easier to speak about. But it might be interesting, especially if there were specific gentleman involved, or some such thing "You have my word. And please do call me Narcissa; I am not really that much older than you are." "Narcissa." She affirmed, taking a sip of tea to fortify herself, feeling extremely embarassed to have to ask this. "Lately, since the battle, and well, before too, though I didn't really acknowledge it, I've found myself having certain urges." She looked down shyly, then leaned forward, her face deadly serious and concerned. "I have been flirting. And I've even wanted to...kiss someone." Narcissa took a sip of her tea, and was suddenly very greatful that her childhood had taught her how to maintain a composed face. Laughing right now would be terribly inappropriate, considering how worried Jacqueline looked. "Well, feelings like those are completely natural," she replied finally. "Everyone has them around eighteen. I am sure your peers must be acting in the same manner. Why does it worry you so much?" "Because I don't want to compromise my chastity! I mean, I would like to get married very much and I know that men place a lot of value on that kind of thing and I wouldn't want anything to harm my reputation but I can't help myself, I don't even realize I'm doing it until I've done it and what if it makes men think I'm forward and then they think that I'm some kind of loose woman and then no one wants to marry me?" She took a breath. "And...and Narcissa, you really can't tell anyone about this but I think I'm in love but sometimes I want to kiss a boy who's not the boy I'm in love with and I think that makes me a terrible, terrible person!" Narcissa put down her teacup. "Well, I assure you that kissing will not compromise your chastity in any manner. Truly. It does not make you a loose woman in the eyes of anyone as long as you do it out of sight of my grandmother's generation, because honestly, we have all been through the same thing." Hadn't anyone done any form of kissing in school? First Astra, now Jacqueline. What were they doing at Hogwarts these days? "You aren't a terrible person, Jacqueline. I promise. More likely than not, you will realise which of the two you truly do care about very soon. The one thing I hope you are not doing is leading both of them on. What have you said to them?" Promising affection to two gentlemen at the same time was something Genevieve, that suspicious friend of Marius', was likely to do. "Nothing! I had tea with one of them, but we only spoke of marriage generally. The one I'm in love with has absolutely no idea. He doesn't think about me like that at all." The tone in her voice made that sound like the biggest tragedy the world had ever seen. For someone who was very intelligent, she was completely idiotic when he came to matters of the heart. "Do you mean that I'm allowed to kiss someone?" "I think it does," Narcissa said cautiously. "You are an intelligent, capable woman- surely you can see that simply waiting for this gentleman to return affection will not make you any happier. If it's meant to be, he will notice you. Perhaps it would do you some good to spend time with the other one?" She smiled. "I would advise caution, though." Did that mean she should tell Aquila she was in love with him? That didn't seem like a very sound plan. "Caution? How so?" "Men are strange," Narcissa said. "They don't often think of the consequences of their actions; therefore, it falls upon us to be doubly careful and predict the consequenses of ours. And they can be terribly illogical, as I am sure you have seen." She blinked, terribly confused. She had no idea what Narcissa was trying to say. Her brow furrowing delicately, she raised her shoulders in a helpless gesture. "I...I don't quite understand what you mean." Wasn't Jacqueline supposed to be intelligent? How could someone have unlimited knowledge on the topics of philosophy and eugenics, and so little on life? "You mentioned it yourself," Narcissa said, realising there was no other way to say it. "Keeping one's reputation. Sex." Oh. "I...I really don't think that's a danger with me, Mrs--Narcissa. I really have no interest in having sex, not to the present moment, at least." She fiddled nervously with the napkin in her lap. "I know." Were their teacups empty already? Narcissa carefully refilled them. "I simply wished to warn you about the consequences of a hasty descision in that area. I am not my mother, nor am I yours, Jacqueline. So naturally... my opinions on the subject will differ by twenty years." She paused. "Would you like more cake?" She hadn't even touched her first piece, so engrossed was she in this conversation. "No, thank you." She said, and then took a dutiful bite of the piece in front of her, so as not to insult her hostess. "If you do have feelings for someone, what is the best way to...well, let them know?" "Flirt with them," Narcissa took a nibble of her own cake. Not that she ever ate much of it; honestly, if one ate at every tea party, one would end up looking like that dreadfully round and grimy Molly Weasley with her passel of brats. "The normal sort of thing... chance meetings, engage in conversation, make an effort to get to know the gentleman. Do you have common interests?" She would normally have suggested coyness, but she had a hunch that Jacqueline might not try that anyway. Jacqueline could speak English, French, Italian, Greek, and Latin, but she could not be coy. Ever. "I believe so, yes. I've known him all my life." Not that that was terribly uncommon in their circle, but still, it had to be said. "He's very smart. And handsome. And very charming." "He sounds lovely," Narcissa said. But then, couldn't every man be described as smart, handsome, and charming? They all were, really. "I hope he likes Eugenics or Aristotle, or one of your other intellectual persuits. It would give the two of you plenty to talk with each other about." "I've never really asked him about it. Every time I talk to him I, unfortunately, become rather stupid." She pushed her hair behind her ear, despairing. Aquila probably wanted someone pretty and empty-headed, like his sister. Jacq was learning quickly that liking Aristotle and Eugenics were not giving her any advantages in the marriage market. "I always felt that way myself," Narcissa admitted. "Before and after I would think of so many witty things to say, and then it never quite worked out as it was supposed to. But eventually, one becomes more comfortable with the person. You have a very cool head, Jacqueline. It must be an interesting sort of person to make you flustered." She flushed and looked down at her hands which had creased the napkin in her lap with her nervous picking. "Very interesting." Part of her wanted desperately to tell Narcissa who it was she had these feelings for, thinking that she could do something to make their romance happen, but part of her still wanted to protect her secret at all costs. "Was this never anything to think of at school?" Narcissa asked slowly. "I understand that studies and such must have consumed most of your time-" which was a ridiculous waste, in her personal opinion- "but were they boys not around?" Her flushed deepened as she realized how abnormal she must seem. "Well, as you know, I was in Ravenclaw so the suitable boys in my immediate circle were few, and those that were in my year, namely Bartemius and Regulus, I have only familial feelings for. I also studied very hard...I was Head Girl and I wanted to have that position quite a lot so I worked very hard for it." She despaired of a way to explain it properly. "It's not that their weren't boys around, but my mother never taught me the proper way to talk to them, so I couldn't." As though Druella had been that much help in talking with boys, Narcissa thought drily to herself. She had been fairly lucky, she supposed, in having two older sisters to aid in such things. But didn't Georgina Wilkes seem the sort that would have known how to talk with boys? It didn't matter; Georgina was certainly not a topic to bring up. "Hmm. Well, there really isn't any time like the present, I suppose. When will you see him again?" She shifted uncomfortably, trying to think of a way to explain why Aquila wasn't exactly easy to see without giving away who he was. "I'm not quite sure. He's...difficult to see." "Difficult?" Narcissa raised an eyebrow, not liking the sound of that very much. That Horrid Muggle had been difficult for Andromeda to see, hadn't he? "In what way?" She struggled to keep her expression neutral, though the gears of her brain were turning in overdrive. "He can't exactly be seen about, generally." "Can't be seen about..." Narcissa's eyes narrowed. "Jaqueline, who is this person?" I refuse to be responsible for any more Andromedas, she thought grimly. She looked down at her tea, wondering how much force of will it took for one to drown themselves in a tea cup. Probably not much if you didn't struggle. "Aquila." She murmered, mostly for the cake's ears alone. "Oh!" It was rather impossible to hide the relief on her face. Aquila Avery was so much better than where her thoughts had been leading. "Well, Aquila is quite a..." She trailed off, realising Jacqueline had spoken of two. "Is he the first or the second gentleman?" Briefly, she covered her face with her hands, needing a moment to gather her strength before continuing. It was so unlike her to be this open with anyone other than her sister, so a break to compose herself again was entirely necessary. "He's the first gentleman, the one I'm in love with. Although I do want to kiss him, too. I haven't been flirting with him, though, because I find it difficult to even talk when I'm near him." Narcissa sighed. "Well, I suppose he's been under quite a lot of strain and such, what with being an outlaw in his own country," she said quietly. "So it is quite possible that girls- women, are not foremost in his mind right now." She reached across the table and patted Jacqueline's hand. "I still believe, though, that a break from thinking of him would be best for you. The second gentlemen, perhaps. Unless he can't be seen in public as well?" "No, the second gentleman can be seen in public all he likes. But I feel like I would be absolutely faithless if I just...set aside my feelings for Aquila simply because I am attracted to someone else. I mean, he is very attractive and I think I would enjoy kissing him very much but all this constant thought of wanting to kiss people is making me feel like...like...a trollop!" "You are not a trollop." Narcissa very much wanted to massage her temples with a hand, but refrained as that might hint at impatience. What did she have to say to this girl to convince her that kissing was perfectly acceptable? "Jacqueline, you are going to waste what could be one of the lovelier parts of your life pining away after Aquila. Do you not think you deserve someone who pays attention to you right now?" Her brow remained furrowed. She wasn't trying to be obstinate, but it was difficult to think differently from the way she had always thought. "You don't think that, if I told him how I felt, he might return my affection?" She asked, her voice dejected. "It's possible, I suppose. I have never been one for making the first move in cases such as these, but it could potentially work." Unlikely, in her opinion, but then, things had been quite a bit easier for Narcissa. "Is that the only way you will allow yourself... go further with anyone? I suppose lingering doubts about one gentleman can prove hard to deal with." "I want to say yes, but I suppose that must stem more from my inbred prejudices against unchaste actions rather than from actual necessity." She shrugged. "I would like to kiss someone, however. I'm very curious about it, although I doubt I would be any good at it." "Kissing really is not hard... actually, I am quite curious as to why you and some of your peers think you would be so terrible at it. It doesn't require that much thought." Narcissa thought back to her own first kiss, wondering what sort of advice one could give on the subject. "Just make sure you feel comfortable enough with the person. And that your lips taste nice." She thought about her words. Well, she was certainly comfortable around Gaius, but would she be comfortable kissing him? That was an entirely different story. "Taste nice?" She cocked an eyebrow. "I know your mouth can taste nice but...lips?" "Do you wear makeup of any variety, Jacqueline?" This was starting to become amusing. Narcissa had been in love with makeup since she was four and allowed to play with Druella's extensive collection. "Well, yes, of course. I mean, when I go out. But not a lot. When there's a ball or a luncheon or something Julianne usually insists on putting some on me." She waved her hand vaguely, as if to indicate that it wasn't really important to her. "I think, objectively at least, I have a nice enough face, so I don't need a lot of makeup just to eat breakfast." "You have a very nice face," Narcissa said, dabbing her lips with her napkin (as though to prevent a single a drop of tea from staining her lip colour). "Consider wearing a bit makeup for everyday occasions, as well, though. There is no reason not to look one's best each day, and besides, you will never know who you will happen to see." She continued, "As for lip taste, there are lipsticks and other products that are flavoured- have you seen them?" She smiled at the compliment, looking genuinely pleased. "Well, I suppose I could try it." She thought over the vast array of makeup her sister owned. "I'm sure Julianne has something to that effect." "There's no harm in trying," Narcissa agreed with a smile as an elf appeared and began to clean up the tea things. "I have no doubt your romantic endeavours will prove quite successful. You and Julianne are both absolutely lovely women, and I do wish you the best." "I think, Narcissa, that I'm going to take your advice to heart." She smiled again at the compliment. "You've been a most gracious host, and so helpful with your advice. I hope you don't think me completely ignorant." "Of course not," she replied warmly, taking a last glance around her gardens before they went back inside. Pity the rain had to come and ruin all of it. "It was absolutely lovely to see you, and I quite enjoyed myself as well." |