Walden Macnair is too old for this shit. (truthormacnair) wrote in blurred_lines, @ 2008-09-10 04:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! [1979-09] september, leoben yaxley, walden macnair |
Who: Walden Macnair and Leoben Yaxley
Where: A pub and then Roblyn Hall.
When: 10 September, Wednesday evening.
What: Walden insists that Ben involve himself and so a bit of training is in order.
Rating: G.
Status: Completed log.
Time seemed to be moving so slow for Walden, though he knew that the world was going at the same pace as it always did. Curtis had only been "missing" for a very short amount of time and already Walden found himself wondering if people knew. He had never been the type of man who allowed himself to be paranoid. He saw paranoia as a weakness but he could feel himself slipping. He mentally berated himself. It didn't do any good to lose himself, especially with approaching events of the weekend.
That was the reason he was here, after all. He had his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his trench coat as he waited in a dark and damp alley. The street was all but abandoned, though he would most likely go unnoticed even if the sidewalks were packed with people. Tonight his goal was simple. He was going to force Leoben to step out of his comfort zone and into a new reality. There was more to being a Death Eater than money and important contacts. Information was valuable and a big help, this much was true, but there always came a time to get one's hands dirty.
Yaxley's time had finally arrived. The invasion of Hogwarts was going to take all the manpower that the Dark Lord had and Walden would not be happy if his third and less experienced student sat in a bubble on the sidelines. Tonight Walden was going to help the boy make this transition with as much ease as possible.
Now all he had to do was wait patiently for the younger wizard, quietly hoping that Ben was not stupid enough to stand him up.
Ben left his flat as if nothing was different. As if he were leaving for a business meeting, or simply going for dinner. He flashed a smile at the people he passed on his way out of the building, looking quite respectable in his sweeping robes. He had always been a good actor. A bundle of nerves squirmed in his stomach, apprehension rampant in his chest. He thought he knew what this was about. He'd been Mr Lestrange's journal post. And while he thought the idea was brilliant and would show the ridiculous organization that called itself a government that it was entirely useless, he hadn't volunteered to be directly involved.
But Walden's request to see him and his insistence that he had a mission this weekend left very little room for doubt. Ben had immediately cleared his evening - he was supposed to be at a dinner party just now, but he'd sent someone instead. This was more important. The Dark Lord's business was always more important.
So Ben apparated as soon as he was off the sidewalk, appearing with a low pop! a few feet away from Walden.
"Hello, sir."
He appeared and sounded relatively calm, but his heart felt like it had jumped into his throat.
Walden was staring up at the sky when he heard the sound of Ben's arrival. He lowered his gaze to the younger wizard and he gave him a quick nod before he pushed away from the cold brick of the building.
" Good evening. I'm glad that you could make it on such short notice." He was actually rather relieved that he had shown up. He knew that Ben was loyal to the cause, that much was obvious, but the boy didn't exactly show enthusiasm for jumping into the action. He was more about the behind the scenes sort of thing and though that was important, there were other things that needed to be done.
He moved to exit the alley and gestured for Ben to follow. The streets weren't all that crowded but there were enough people to make it hard for Walden to speak freely. He needed to find a place that would allow them to practise but would also not force himself to choose his words wisely. He found that pubs and inns usually served his purpose and so he led the way to a noisy pub and found a seat in the back.
" You know why you're here. What are your thoughts on this weekend?"
Ben followed his mentor in silence, the epitome of a gentleman while they were in public. He kept an inch behind Walden, so that he was able to follow but not so far behind that he was out of hearing range. Oh yes, Leoben knew his place when it came down to who out-ranked him. Another one of the things his grandfather had drilled into him.
He sat across the table from Walden, sitting back in his chair and folding his hands neatly in his lap. It was noisy here, but there was a certain seclusion that came with it as well. He rather liked it. Most of his meetings were in private or over something less... common. Glancing idly over his surroundings, his skin threatened to crawl at the idea of how many mudbloods were likely sitting around them.
Ben was carefully silent for a moment at the older man's question, mulling over how to word his thoughts. He knew better than to lie, and the thought didn't cross his mind. But he didn't want to sound as hesitant as he felt. Yes, he knew why he was here. "I'm... forced to wonder why now, of course," he started softly. "But of course, one doesn't question His motives." He paused again, more briefly this time before going on. "I'm pleased that we're sending a more direct message," he said finally. "I have no doubt that it will be entirely successful and effective."
" Yes, it seems like they learn best from our actions. They don't seem to respond well to words and so in a way I suppose that it's their own fault that we're resorting to this. " He gave a shrug and then moved to lean against the table.
" You're involved in your own way and I respect that. There is only so much you can do from your position. You were chosen and accepted into this organization based on more than your financial influence and it's my job to guide you."
Walden had signaled to the bartender to bring two drinks, he didn't care what, and he stopped speaking long enough for the drinks to be served and then he looked back at Ben. " I would not insist that you be a part of this if I didn't think that you were ready."
Ben fell quiet again, not particularly interested in his drink until the word insist left Walden's lips. It was a command and perhaps almost a compliment rolled into a single sentence, but it didn't really change the way his stomach rolled over. He took a drink from his glass then, not exactly paying attention to what he was in it and really just concentrating on the fact that it was alcohol and that it might help keep him calm. He did manage to keep his poker face before giving a slight nod. He was less confident about his abilities on what was likely to be a battlefield, but he wasn't about to object. He would go. It was his responsibility as much as it was anyone else's.
"Of course," he answered, putting his glass down and refolding his hands. "I will do whatever is necessary of me."
Walden took a drink from his own glass and he stared across the table at the boy. He wondered what thoughts were going through his mind at the moment. Was he excited to be a part of the mission or was he scared?
" So let me ask you a question," Walden said, taking in Ben's last words. " Are you going to be able to handle yourself in the line of fire? I know that you're capable but I don't want to throw you out there blind. I asked you to meet me because I need to know if you have any doubts in yourself that I can iron out before Saturday. You need to be at your absolute best. What can I teach you that will make you better on the battlefield?"
Ben was silent for a moment, pondering what the best way to answer the question was. It occurred to him, that now wasn't really the time to try to play himself to look better. He was going to do this, nervous or not. He was going to be at that invasion and there were bound to be Aurors who would just as soon have him hauled into Azkaban then blink. And besides, Walden was his mentor. If he couldn't be honest with him, then there really wasn't much of a point in being here any longer.
"I... have never been incredibly confident with extensive practical magic," he admitted finally, trying to ignore and push down the flush he felt in his cheeks. "Rather, I'm not very fast, nor have I ever been particularly good with non-verbal spells, which makes voice recognition... an issue." Ben stopped there, looking both embarrassed and nervous. It wasn't very often that he let his emotions show, but again, Walden was a man he'd put his trust in since he'd joined this little organization.
Walden had not expected such an honest answer so he was speechless for just a moment. He ran over Ben's words in his head as he took a drink from his glass and then he set it back down with a smile. The fact that he didn't have to deal with hand holding and babysitting thrilled him. He was lucky to have such cooperating students.
" It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Ben. Non-verbals are very tricky and it takes skill and practise to be able to utilize them without issue. It's hard for me to remember how old I was when I was learning these things but if I recall correctly, and I like to think that I am, I was about your age when I was finally able to concentrate hard enough to be effective." He leaned back in his chair and tangled his fingers together so he could rest his hands against his stomach. " You have to learn how to quiet your mind enough to concentrate but still allow yourself to be aware of your surroundings. It takes a lot of concentration but it can be done. There are some people I've known that can hardly grasp the concept. I feel that you will learn quickly. You just need to have confidence in yourself."
He took a quick scan of the room, glanced at Ben's almost full drink, and then rose to his feet. " Come on. We're going to go someplace else. It's hardly a good idea to start flinging spells about in this place, though I'm sure quite a few of these Muggles could use a rogue spell or two."
Ben listened in silence, absorbing his mentor's words and hoping he was right about being a quick learner. His forte had never been practical magic, but perhaps it was time to face that particular demon. He would be much more effective with some more training under his belt, there was no question about that. The issue up until now had been, well... ego, really. But with the option open and directly in front of him, he felt like it was time to take. Especially considering his life could possibly hang in the balance.
He glanced idly around the bar, looking mildly disgusted at the volume of Muggles so close to him. "It wouldn't be a rogue spell," he answered as he mirrored Walden in getting to his feet. "Where to, then?"
" No, I suppose you're right. Neither of us could say it was an accident as we both know that would be less than true." The older man fished through his pockets and dropped a few bills of Muggle money on the table before he gestured for Ben to follow. He still found it odd that he conducted a good amount of his business amongst Muggles. They were so clueless and it made it that much easier, though sometimes his colleagues found it unsettling. Walden was just as disgusted by the non-magical folk as the others but for some reason he was able to switch his feelings off long enough to do what he needed to do.
Walden tugged his jacket to himself as they stepped into the cool evening air. He slowed his gait and fell into step with Ben, glancing over at the boy with an interested smirk. It was good that Ben had willingly accepted his involvement in the siege. The fact that Walden had not been forced to twist the boy's arm was a very good sign.
He pondered where they might go to practise and he found himself drawing a blank. In truth it would be rather risky to train in public and so he silently settled it. " We'll go to my estate, I think. There's no one there and you can blast almost anything in your path. I'm not all that attached to my possessions and all the things of value are put away. Any objection?"
Ben glanced idly at the bills on the table before following Walden. He was a businessman, through and through. It was his cover and it was how he was rebuilding his family name. Ben could deal with the half-bloods and muggleborns of the world (at least when it came to money), yet he'd always shied away from actually crossing the magical barrier. He rather thought he was coming quite close enough when he was talking with those Mudbloods after all. He also didn't know what they could have that would be mildly profitable. That was more research than he wanted to do.
He was silent as he walked next to Walden, hands held loosely behind his back. A ball of nerves tightened in his stomach, but he was determined to keep it from showing on his face. He caught the older man's glance and gave the slightest raise of the eyebrows, curious. "...What?"
Leoben of course, had no objectections to Walden's choice. "None at all," he replied, making a mental note to try not to destroy too much property. Whether he was attached to them or not, it was still rude.
" Follow me, then." They had stopped in a deserted clearing just a few yards into the forest behind the pub. He gave the area a quick sweep with his eyes and then he quickly disappeared with a faint crack. He arrived just outside the door of the manor and he silently let down the wards for Ben's arrival. He was looking forward to seeing what Ben could already manage. He was going to test him before anything, knowing full well the pressure it would put on the boy.
He was looking forward to the lesson, he found. It was something worthwhile that would distract him from his own problems and he welcomed the idea completely. He crossed his arms over his chest and breathed in the cool evening air as he waited patiently for Ben to arrive.
Ben followed without a word, also glancing around the clearing before the crack of Walden disapparating met his ears. He had a rather odd feeling about this. It was a mix of adrenaline and nerves. He could have done without the latter, honestly. In any case, it was probably a good idea to be prepared about this, so he pulled his wand out of his pocket before apparating. He appeared again only a few feet from Walden, tightening his grip on his wand in anticipation.
" Nice of you to join me." He turned and led the way through the front door. He shrugged off his jacket and hung it, gesturing for Ben to do the same if he wished. After a moment he continued to venture into the house, eventually stopping at a closed door. He quickly opened it and led Ben inside before closing the door. He placed a silencing charm on the room and then turned to the boy.
" I know that you said you have trouble with them, but have you ever successfully used a non-verbal spell before?"
Unsure of how to respond to Walden's first statement, Ben simply walked through the door and hung his coat up. The door of the room closed behind them, he felt incrementally more nervous as the moments passed, but kept a straight face, forcing them down. Now was not the time. He had to focus, or he'd never get this.
"Yes, but it's, routine things like setting up wards and locking doors. Cleaning spells..." Ben made a vague gesture with his hand. "Nothing overly complicated or difficult. And always low-pressure situations."
" Well at least you have the general idea. That already puts us a fair bit ahead of the game." He glanced around the room quietly before turning his gaze back to Ben. He enjoyed being around the boy for some reason or another. Sometimes it seemed like the younger wizard was a version of himself as a boy. He had similar family situation and he was willing to put himself on the chopping block to learn as well as to serve a cause he unselfishly signed up for.
And now, because Walden always found a joy in making people uncomfortable even if he did like them, he was going to give Ben instructions and then make things a bit more difficult by messing with his head. " I'm going to try to disarm you. I want you stop me with a non-verbal spell. Ready?"
Ben nodded and quickly came up with a counter-curse in his head. A stunning hex was the first thing to come to his mind and he concentrated on the spell in his head. Stupefy...stupefy...stupefy He didn't cast it yet, but he kept the word in his head, trying to keep his focus on the spell and casting it when Walden through his hex at him.
" Lovely," he said, responding to the nod. He lifted his wand and then tilted his head slightly. " So what do you think of Evangeline?" As soon as the question was asked he extended his wand in Ben's direction, thinking Expelliarmus as he did so.
The question caught Ben off guard, and he lowered his wand, blinking. But then the spell was rushing at him and he realised his mistake... too late. The older man's spell hit him in the chest, forcing his backwards and sending his wand sailing back in Walden's direction. Leoben clenched his jaw and looked down, irritated and embarrassed at his mistake... especially concerning Evangeline.
Walden couldn't help but smirk in Ben's direction. He wasn't laughing at him but he was amused. In one small moment he had learned two things. The first being that Ben needed to learn how to control himself. They needed to build his concentration. The second was a bit more surprising. He'd chosen Evangeline because she was the first female that had come to mind. He knew most men were easily distracted by the thought of women and he'd been right. He never considered himself to be great at reading people but it seemed like Ben had reacted oddly when he was caught thinking of Eva. It was interesting.
" I believe this is yours." He handed the wand back to Ben and then went back to his position a few feet back. " So what happened just then? You can't afford to be distracted by anything. Sure, people won't be asking you personal questions on the battlefield but your mind can wander and do the same thing. First you're wondering about her well being, next you're creating worse-case scenarios, and before you know it we have a replay of what just happened. Although I doubt an Auror is going to settle with a simple disarming spell."
Ben took his wand back and sighed. "It... I just lost my focus," he admitted, answering the question but deliberately not being specific about just why he'd been so distracted by the question. Because certainly, if he'd asked about Narcissa, he wouldn't have been so distracted as to miss the spell. As Walden went on about her well being and any worst case scenario, Ben could hardly help but follow that train of thought and for another moment, he was idly distracted.
But then he pushed the thought out of this head. Because he didn't want a repeat of this. "I understand," he said with a nod, trying to force his focus back to the spell. "I'm ready."
Walden stared at the other in silence for a moment. They would start simple. He would make Ben feel comfortable and then he would add the distractions. He shifted in his stance slightly and then raised his wand toward his partner again, this time not announcing what spell he was going to be using. He chose the disarming spell again and cast Expelliarmus in mind, giving his wand a slight jerk as he did so.
He was ready this time. Ben concentrated on his hex - Stupefy...Stupefy...Stupefy! - and flicked his wand at Walden. A jet of red light erupted from his wand and collided in mid-air with the disarming spell, rendering them both ineffective. Ben gave the slightest nod, not really doing anything other than acknowledging that he'd done it that time. But he wasn't under any illusion about the circumstances. This was not a battlefield, Walden didn't want him dead (he didn't think) and it was a second try. He would not be so lucky on Saturday.
He took a moment to steady himself and then looked across the short amount of space to Ben. " Well done. That was certainly much better than the first time." He took a few steps to widen the space between them and then rested his wand arm at his side. " I'm going to let you stun me. Attack me with something that I can recover from quickly, if you please." He gave Ben a nod of the head to signal that he was ready anytime but at the same time he flicked his wand. The spell he had cast silently would cause a buzzing noise near Ben's head and it would alternate from ear to ear randomly, sometimes consuming both. It wasn't a huge distraction but sometimes the most simple annoyances could cause distress and a bit of panic.
Ben thought he saw the flick of Walden's wand, and his suspicions were confirmed as a high pitched buzz filled his right ear. So this was the game. Ben clenched his jaw and forced his focus on his spell - a full body bind this time. Elementary, but useful. Petrificus totalus! Leoben waved his wand and tried to block out the buzzing that was currently filling both of his ears.
Walden saw the concentration on Ben's face and the flash of determination in his eyes. When the younger wizard moved to cast his spell Walden made to block. He realized he'd been too slow and he felt his body stiffen with the body bind so he quickly prepared himself mentally for the fall.
He hit the carpeted floor with a hard thump, mostly unharmed. There was a small throb in his shoulder but the pain had already started to disperse. Walden was impressed with his student. The distraction, though simple and nothing like the noise of a battlefield, had not hindered the boy in casting his spell. If they had been in a real duel Ben would now have the victory.
He would tell his as much as soon as he was released from the bind. For now he would just stare at the ceiling.
Ben almost couldn't help but smile at his success. It was a start. It was something. But he didn't revel in his victory, instead only swishing his wand a silently casting a general counter-curse (because he could now). The buzzing left his ears as he crossed the few feet between himself and Walden and put his wand away. He offered his now free hand to assist his mentor back to his feet.
"You didn't hit your head, did you?"
The hold on his body was released and he allowed himself to slump slightly against the rug. Walden lifted his hand to Ben's and he laughed as he was helped into a standing position. " No, my head is fine. I landed ab it hard on my shoulder but it's already forgotten. You did very well just then. You should be proud of yourself." He gave the other wizard a thump on the back and then crossed the room to drop into a chair by the window. He gestured for Ben to take the other.
" Now it won't be that easy in the heat of battle but at least now you have the simple points to focus on. Confidence and concentration. If you can remember those key factors you will be able to hold your own."
Leoben nodded, feeling some sense of confidence. No, it most definitely would not be particularly easy when it came to an actual battle where he could just as easily die as the mudblood he was fighting... but at least he knew he could do it. Ben took the remaining seat, trying to tell his heart that it didn't need to pound so hard in his chest any more, and that he didn't really need that rush of adrenaline just now. He actually fidgeted. A little.
"Yes, it's a start," he said finally, glancing idly out the window before flicking his eyes back to Walden. "Thank you... for giving me the opportunity. And for having more confidence in me than I often do with myself."
" That's what I'm here for. There are few people who can rise above the limits that they set for themselves without the help of an outside party. I was quite content on remaining a spiteful son. The thorn in my father's side. Drinking, cards, and women were enough for me because I never looked beyond the lines that I knew. I'd been trained to duel by by uncle and it was his wish that I was the best. I was wasting all that knowledge for what? Frivolities. I was eventually steered in a new direction and now I am gratefully and happily serving this worthy cause."
He took a moment of silence, glanced at the clock, and then back to Ben. " Know that you can come to me with anything. If you have a question about the cause, don't hesitate. If you just need someone to talk to I'm willing to listen. I don't usually open myself up to deal with other people's lives but I know how it can be to need that one person you can talk to so, as your mentor, I'm here if you need me."
Ben was silent for a long moment, mulling over Walden's words on his father, bad decisions...a reflection of a younger man. It occurred to him that there was much more to serving the Cause than simply the Cause itself. They were all brought together by the common purpose, but it could also be so much more, was so much more for so many of the people involved. It was a purpose. And that alone was more than those filthy Mudbloods could ever hope for. More than his own Father could really hope for any more, pureblood or not. Useless and wasteful, Ben often hoped that his next owl post would come with a letter from the Ministry telling him that the man was dead. He had a purpose in his life. Vitus Yaxley, did not. Ben felt the pull of empathy for his mentor. They both had such useless parents. Ben felt suddenly extraordinarily lucky that Grandfather had done much of his raising. Who knew where he would be, otherwise.
And more lucky that Walden was his mentor. "My father is as useless as yours, I think," he after a moment, his voice steady but with a touch of ice. No, Ben had no love for his father. "Thank you for everything, Walden. I could not be more lucky." There was a rare note of sincerity injected into the words, not missed when one hadn't heard it, but striking once it was there.
" You're welcome. And thank you for being dependable and capable." Walden liked Ben very much. He had no plans to ever marry and therefore no plans to have children and so in a way these kids were almost like his own. The Lestrange boys not so much, seeing as how they both had very strong male presences in their lives, but Walden almost felt a fatherly connection with Ben. This was his only conclusion to why he felt so proud when the young Death Eater succeeded in his given tasks. Perhaps it was also because Walden had done his job in being a good teacher. Whatever the reason, he felt Ben would be a help on the battlefield.
" For now I think we should call it a night. I want you to practise non-verbals as much as possible before Saturday. I'll try to get in contact with you before the battle. If for some reason I do not, good luck. I expect to see you alive and well the following day."
Ben felt a pull of responsibility at Walden's words. He couldn't let him down, and that was all there was to it. He gave a nod to confirm that he would, in fact, be using non-verbals for everything leading up to the approaching weekend. Walden could teach him how, but he couldn't do it for him. That was all on Ben. He knew how now. The next step was making it easier. "I will do my best, of course," he said softly, mulling over how this battle could go. But after a moment, he pushed the thought away. He would practise and get better. If something happened, it wouldn't be because he was careless. That wasn't his style.
Easily, Ben pushed himself to his feet, mechanically smoothing out his robes before looking back to Walden. "I'll see you Sunday, at the latest, then."
The two wizards had been walking towards the door as Ben spoke and they finally came to a stop in the entryway where Ben's coat was hanging. There was a small part of Walden that didn't want the other to leave because then he would have to be alone to deal with his guilt. He would just have to take a sleeping potion and be done with it.
" Yes, I will see you Sunday. Goodnight, Ben." He shook the other man's hand and then watched as he Apparated away from the manor. Walden gave a sigh and reset the wards, closed the door, and then headed towards his room to take his potion and finally get a bit of sleep.