Severus Snape is tired of the lies. (fortiscadere) wrote in blurred_lines, @ 2008-08-17 20:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! [1979-08] august, ! npc, dark lord, severus snape |
RP Narrative: Severus Snape & Lord Voldemort
Who: Severus Snape & the Dark Lord
When: Evening of 17 August 1979.
Where: Spinner's End & Wherever the Dark Lord is!
What: Lord Voldemort wants a report, and he wants it now.
Rating: PG
Status: COMPLETE.
There were certain things one did whether it was something one wanted to do or not. For Severus Snape, the evening after he had buried his mother, that something was practising Occlumency. However, despite his successes with Bellatrix, Severus felt he had more to learn. And he had discovered enough to know that daily practise clearing his mind, closing others out of it, and focusing on shielding from someone's perusal the thoughts he'd like to keep secret, was essential to his success during those sessions. And currently, more than ever before, he was aware of the need to succeed. Not only with Bellatrix, there were things in his mind that he would not be able to talk himself out of even with her; but also with the Dark Lord. He returned home and after pouring a cup of tea, he sat in the sitting room thinking mildly to himself that he was going to fill those bookshelves someday, drinking the tea to unwind. As he finished the cup, Severus began systematically clearing his mind of emotion. In a way, it was almost a relief, for the day had been so full of emotion: saying good-bye to his Mum, seeing Lily even if she had been with James, and a constant worry that he was tiptoeing on a knife's blade between two sides and that he was going to slip and the cut would be too deep to recover from. But the emotion did not rule him, he would not allow it. It was not safe for him to allow it. Severus tucked Lily away first. His worry with her drinking the water even after he had asked her not to and the constant way his heart felt twisted when he was talking to her. She was the weakest point of him: she had always been the weakest point of him, and he was aware of that, but it seemed impossible for it to be otherwise. Lily was followed by Aberforth. Severus found himself caring about the older man, and beyond that, gaining a deep respect for the way Aberforth chose to act and live. Two Gryffindors followed by a Slytherin, Astra was tucked away next. Emotional weaknesses, all of them, and Severus was aware enough to realise that they were emotional weaknesses that could get him demoted. Next his anger and distaste at the pureblood Death Eaters, but particularly Avery and Lestrange, and Severus breathed out, seeking the feeling of cool dispassionate calm that was the place he was most likely to succeed when being attacked with the spell. That calm secured he looked for things that might threaten it, emotions he was unaware that he had. He had found himself startled upon occasion when something had grabbed him during these sessions. But tonight he found only emotions that were acceptable. Agnes, while somewhat embarrassing, was already known to the Dark Lord. His grateful feeling toward Mulciber being there with his Mother's death. His pleasure at the reception of his idea of practising dueling weekly and the dedication the others seemed to put into the event. His pleasure at Rodolphus Lestrange noticing his improvement. The gratefulness he felt towards Dolohov's assistance with his mother. His general annoyance at Black and his arrogant loud mouthing. His usual irritation and distaste at werewolves and halfbreeds. His sense of loss at having lost his mother, but his confusion at his potential part in her death was there, and Severus stopped, taking that emotion and confusion and considering it. Perhaps someday it could be turned into something useful: anger at his Muggle father for leaving his mother in such a condition, but he was not certain that day was today. Thus, the confusion and hurt joined the other items in the back of his mind, leaving only his sense of loss. Locked: Thrown away: Not a part of him - at least not that anyone looking at him would be able to see. The meditation continued, the sorting of thoughts, some to be banished and some to be allowed to stay. The process had continued for nearly twenty minutes, when the Mark moved on his arm and Severus was momentarily startled out of his concentration. Rolling up his sleeve he stared at the Dark Mark. The instant of panic he'd felt had no place, and Severus severely placed it to the side, behind all of the other thoughts. He had been training for this moment for nearly two months. And while when he had begun he had not considered that he might have so much to hide from the Dark Lord, there would be no putting it off any longer. He would see how much he had learned from Bellatrix and with any fortune it would be enough. He stood and reached for his cloak, his mind still focusing on the Occlumency as he Apparated to the Dark Lord's side. Upon Severus' arrival, Voldemort turned his head almost lazily to regard Severus. His lips spread into a mirthless smile, "Severus," he said, his voice masquerading as gentle, but in reality it was perhaps more unnerving for the masquerade. "Do come closer, I desire a conversation with you." "My Lord," Severus said, stepping forward towards Voldemort, he inclined his head in a brief bow. "We have had a number of successes this week," he looked up to meet Voldemort's eyes, "May I offer my congratulations?" "It is hardly complete," Voldemort waved a hand to whisk away Severus' compliments. "There is still much to be done. Tell me Severus, you have had several weeks to make use of your connections to the vigilantes," here his lips twisted slightly upward. "What have you been able to uncover?" Lord Voldemort caught Severus' eyes, and held them and Severus, more trained than he had been the last time he had been under the Dark Lord's gaze, could feel the Dark Lord in his mind, and Severus strengthened his resolve to hold his secrets secret, focusing on blocking the other wizard from those thoughts he did not want anywhere near his master. He did not blink though, or break the contact, to do so would have been an indication that he had something to hide. And he had nothing to hide that was not already hidden. "They are the most irritating group of people I have had the misfortune to spend time around," he said simply. "They are petty and endlessly bickering. Pettigrew has mentioned at least two large fights within the time you have asked me to speak with him. While I was unable to determine the cause of these fights, they do exist, telling me that the group is barely held together, and the proper pressure applied might split it apart entirely. I am still searching to determine what the best pressure might be." He stopped, partially to consider what next to give to the Dark Lord, and partially to reinforce the barriers in his mind - he would have another headache tonight. "Endlessly bickering," Voldemort said softly. "Continue." "Pettigrew is a weak link," Severus said confidently, the pressure still there at the back of his mind, but he could not stop to worry if the Dark Lord might know he was hiding something: Such a worry would in and of itself be suspicious. "He is not as determined in his opinions as his friends are. He is pliable, and certainly breakable. I suggest if we are looking for such an entrance, that he would be ideal." Severus continued, "While not surprising, the Vigilantes have visual confirmation of Lucius Malfoy, at least one of the Lestranges, and Georgina Wilkes, as Death Eaters - no actual proof that can endanger them or us, I would not think, but I believe it is worth you knowing when you make your plans. It is reasonable to assume that they will look for ways to discredit them." "Yes, but will they find them?" The Dark Lord would have looked amused had it not been for the way his eyes narrowed. "Continue," and it was not a request. "We know that they have people within the Ministry," Severus said. "I have been unable to confirm, but I do have reason to believe that among those might be the Longbottoms. It is a suspicion I will attempt to confirm, my Lord." This last was added as Severus could see the Dark Wizard's face changing. His eyes had narrowed to almost slits, and he appeared to be vexed. "Attempt?" Voldemort's voice was cold. "Severus, I am disappointed," there was a subtle emphasis on the word. "You have nothing more to report to me?" Severus swallowed, and allowed his irritation with Greyback's meddling with O'Hare to surface. "My Lord," he said. "Agnes O'Hare was the easiest to get close to. She trusted me and she was blunt and not afraid to tell me things that potentially would harm the group. However, for the better part of the past few weeks she has been in a Ministry cell, Azkaban, and following that, in a vigilante's home so tightly warded and watched so tightly by her friends, that it has been impossible for be to get to her. I tried to make contact as soon as she was out, but she did not respond, and within the past week I have begun to make contact again, but it will take time-" "I do not need to remind you," Voldemort turned away from Severus and began walking slowly back and forth, his wand in his hand as he paced. "That your position can be easily given to someone who is successful in the tasks I request from them. You have done very well in the past, Severus, but I will not tolerate such..." he stopped and turned his head towards Severus looking for all the world like a snake about to strike its prey. "Foolishness. I do not wish your excuses. I care not for what obstacles have been in your way, I desire only useful information. How you get it is of no concern to me." "Yes, my Lord," Severus said, feeling like his throat was full of cotton. The Legilimency had ceased for the moment, and he used the time to strengthen his mind, and to look for something else he might be able to give the Dark Lord. He swallowed and looked back up at the Dark Lord, who had paused, still looking at Severus with his eyes narrow slits of - if not anger - annoyance. "My Lord," Severus said hesitantly. "Currently, there are too many of them that do not trust me. I have no access to information because they are paranoid - and rightly so - to give it to anyone outside of their organization," he looked up to gauge Voldemort's reaction. "If I could get closer; If I could make them trust me," he suggested cautiously. "Get inside the organization?" The Dark Lord asked smoothly, his eyes turned back on Severus' again. "You wish to spend such time among Mudbloods and Blood Traitors?" Severus could feel the penetration into his mind and he focused harder than he had ever done against Bellatrix, the thoughts at the forefront of his mind his dislike of the Potter, Black and their gang, McKinnon's loud mouth, anger at being constantly looked down upon. He made a derisive noise. "As if anyone should wish such a thing," Severus said with what he hoped was the proper amount of distaste. "But I will do my duty for you and our cause. You have asked this thing from me and it would be made easier if they believe I am one of them. It will only be until what point that we have won, will it not?" "You have loved a mudblood," Voldemort did not retreat, his eyes still on Severus' dark ones, the comment alone applied at a pressure point to crack the young man. Severus shrugged coldly, later he would mentally beg Lily's forgiveness. "Lusted after," he corrected. "I wanted to undress her. A pretty picture, that is all, and a normal reaction to such a mudblood whore, pushing herself in front of men so that they would desire her. I have grown wiser with time and found more suitable ways to release such desire." Almost as quick as it had been fierce, the spell broke off and Severus could feel Voldemort's retreat from his mind. "You should pray the poison and antidotes continue working so you do not displease me further," the Dark Lord said mildly. "I will see you in two weeks," his tone was dismissive. "I do not wish to be disappointed in you Severus, but if I am, there are others who are better suited to your tier. Do not fail me." |