remus & severus
WHO: Severus Snape & Remus Lupin WHAT: Remus is sick and Snape is taking care of him. WHEN: Sunday night WHERE: Snape's flat RATING: PG STATUS: Completed
Severus ground the last ingredient carefully, measuring what was left in his mortar bowl into the mixture heating in the caldron. From there, the mixture went into a smooth white coffee cup which was part of the utilitarian set he’d forced himself to go out and buy after Lily’d threatened mutiny on a cupless house. He’d rather been accustomed to using a single glass; thanks to her intervention, however, he now had a full set of cups, dishes, and plates. If he wished, he could seat four to six adults.
At the moment, however, there were just two. From his pristine – and separate – potions laboratory, he moved into the kitchen and added the simple biscuit he wanted to give Remus. “You should be eating more than this,” he said, approaching the living room. “But I do not wish to test your stomach so far. Broth, next, if you can hold it down. Drink, Remus. It might do some good.” Better that, at least, than having Remus suffer.
Remus had been surprised at Severus' offer, but not unpleasantly so. He didn't want Draco to see him in such condition, but couldn't really afford to stay anywhere. Snape's quarters were a welcome if dark place to rest while sparing his pennies. Of course, he'd have to repay Snape somehow, but he'd think on that later. Nonetheless, Remus was surprised at how kindly Severus was acting toward him. He did consider the potions master a friend, but didn't really know where he stood in Snape's eyes. Still, Remus almost thought Severus actually cared the last few days. "Thank you." He accepted the offered biscuit and tea. Truth be told, even that was asking his stomach too much. "As soon as my old body cooperates, I'm taking you to the Leaky."
Severus hid a look of mild disdain behind his concern. The narrowed gaze observed symptoms, not features, as if he could see through Remus' skin to the sickness beneath. The Leaky was, while not necessarily a bad place, not his favorite. A mild drinker at best, Severus preferred a carafe of wine over dinner, or brandy afterward, as many Slytherins did. The difference was, most of them had been raised with it. It had been a trait he'd taken on to survive as one of them. "No need to thank me," he told Remus. "I'm trying out a new antidote on your fever, so I want to monitor you quite carefully."
Remus almost smiled, but hid it at the last second. He knew Snape well enough to realize the man wouldn't take a compliment easily. "I'll be out of your hair soon, I hope." He took a sip of the hot tea, grateful for the warmth filling his sore body. He just prayed he'd make it through the transformation without incident.
Severus had seen Remus in transformation exactly twice before. The first, he'd nearly died, and the second --- well. The second had been Dumbledore's choice, to show him something that Remus would never know he'd seen. They'd gone together, a few days after James Potter had saved his life. Severus had been struck then by a different combination, rather than fear and desperation, or nauseated curiosity. It wore nearly the same name as pity, but it wasn't quite. That howling, fierce creature deserved no pity, and neither did Remus when he awoke to being himself. It had deserved a cure, for such a curse was a frightful damnation, a future halted by something quite uncontrollable. Severus could not bring himself to hate Remus for that. James, perhaps. Sirius, definitely. But not
Remus; he had merited a quiet sympathy that Severus would most likely never display in person - at least, that had been his intention. Voldemort's plan to kill the Potters had changed everything. And now he had a werewolf for a friend, and a credit of the Wolfsbane to his name. The acknowledgment of his aid from the public might well have served his ego. But being friends with Remus? Severus wasn't terribly good at being friends. "You take the time you need," he said firmly, tone sharp. "I will not have you sickening further, or, worse, having a prolonged lupine cycle because of your illness. I do not know how to administer potions to children, let alone full-grown wolves."
Remus actually chuckled. He was used to Snape by then. He knew the tone and expression hid worry and he was grateful for it. Severus was an unlikely mate, but a damn good one. Sirius and James had always been closer to each other than he and Remus liked having a friend all of his own. Sure, with them hating Snape and vice versa, life could prove difficult, but it was still nice to chat with Severus about books and other intellectual pursuits. "You'll have to come to the Lore and Legend. You can have any book you like."
Now there was a tempting offer. "Be careful what you say," Severus warned him. "I have a taste for expensive books, and you have a few antiques."
"A small price in exchange for your hospitality." Remus finally did spare a smile then. "I can recommend quite a few good ones at that." He pushed the rest of the tea and biscuit away. No way could he eat more. "How are classes?"
"Your partner will not think so," Severus pointed out. "Classes are fine, as usual, though I rather wish that Potions attracted more students with a genuine interest in the subject." He stopped short, shaking his head.
Remus made a face. "Don't call him a partner. It makes me think of Andromeda's taunts." He shook his head. "Crazy woman sometimes." He shifted on the couch, moving more deeply under the blanket to keep out the chill. "Potions is a difficult subject. I'm sure Draco will take to it though. He's already babbling on about you helping him."
Severus could not help warming; his nephew - the child he'd looked on as a surrogate son for many years - was a subject upon which he was unbearably kind. He loathed that softness for himself, in front of others, but Remus was trustworthy enough to share it. "Potions is difficult but worthwhile, you have to argue."
"Clearly I agree." Remus noticed the gentleness Severus' features took on whenever Draco was mentioned. It made his heart tug each and every time; whoever thought Snape incapable of love was sorely mistaken. "I'd be lost without the Wolfsbane." He cleared his throat. "And you to make it for me."
Severus didn't flush at the words; he shook his head, however, embarrassed by the gratitude. "Anyone could have figured it out, Remus," he said simply. That was true, after all. It just took a certain kind of obsessive mind to focus on the details, and while he'd been struggling to resolve his feelings for Lily, it had been a marvelous distraction.
"That isn't true. Take the credit, mate." Remus reached one hand out to gently pat Severus' arm. "You deserve it." And more, but Remus wasn't going to add that.
Severus reserved judgment on what he deserved, most days. He merely flashed Remus an inquisitive look and leaned forward, pressing the back side of his palm to the other man's forehead, ostensibly to check for heightened temperature. "What we deserve and what we get are two entirely different things," Severus replied, quoting his mother rather unconsciously as he mentally gauged whether it was just his cold fingers that made Remus seem abnormally hot.
Remus felt like a child. "Severus, I do believe you could manage a child…" He smirked. "Still annoyed at my temperature?" Yes, it was true that Snape's fingers were bony and cold, but, for some reason, it didn't bother Remus at all. The touch actually felt nice.
Severus pulled away, frowning slightly. "It's not a joking matter," he chided, though lighter than he ought to have, perhaps. "I'll find you another blanket."
"Well, joking keeps my mind off it. I'm in pain here." Remus watched Severus hurry about the room. It was strange, really, seeing Severus in such a light. Oh, Remus knew such a man existed inside the former Death Eater, but he didn't think it would come out for anyone other than Draco. Or perhaps Lily. He felt his heart tug; Severus cared about him.
Remus wasn't wrong; he did care, more than he wanted to. Remus' well-being was no longer just about paying back, however subtly, a life debt he didn't think he'd ever be free of. Nor was it solely about Lily or Draco. It was a friendship that had formed somewhat without Severus' cognizance; perhaps, for that reason, it had thrived.
He glanced up when Remus said that, wanting to ascertain how much of the statement was a joke. A simple Summoning Charm brought forth a warmer blanket from the closet, and he summarily dropped it on the couch. "Lean back," Severus told him brusquely. "You'll be more comfortable here, for now." He was fortunate that he'd taken a Muggle flat, after all; once upon a time the surroundings had been merely a convenient subterfuge. Now they were convenient because he had a second room, though he fervently wished he'd kept it a second bedroom rather than make it a potions chamber. The thought struck him as odd. An urge to care take, overreaching his potions mastery? What was this?
Remus truly did feel ridiculous no matter how grateful he was to Severus. Nevertheless, he obeyed and leaned back. What choice did he have really? He was tired and cold. Not to mention achy and feverish. "I do miss Draco." He missed Sirius too, but he wasn't about to utter that name to Snape. He was in the man's home for Godric's sake.
It was a side of himself that he so rarely saw that it startled him, and Severus was distracted from that train of thought only by Remus' words. He looked back at Remus. "I suspect Draco misses you a great deal," Severus returned. He held his tongue, for once, on the subject of how sanity was lacking from that home now that Remus was gone. Or a snide remark about Sirius' parenting skills, or lack thereof, and how they'd affect Draco while Remus was gone.
Really, Remus did worry Sirius was a bit permissive, but, overall, he was a damn good daddy. Draco adored the man and Remus held no doubt that the pair was just fine. "Well, with your potions, I'm sure I'll be over this with the full moon." He never thought he'd actually welcome the cycle, but he wanted to return to his pup. However, he was surprised to realize he'd miss Severus.
Severus cleared his throat, not answering that aloud. Instead, he sank into a nearby chair, picking up his quill to add a notation to the book he kept of new potions and their trial results. It was startling to realise how much of the work reflected there had actually been tested with Remus - most of it, after all, was on the Wolfsbane itself.
The lack of reply made Remus worry. "Do you think it won't clear?"
Severus' quill slipped a little as he looked up. "What? No. I--that is, yes, it will be gone by then. Should be, anyway." He was flustered, for Salazar's sake. Flustered!
"Are you alright?" Remus' eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You aren't hiding anything from me are you? I know you lot think I need protection, but…please, Severus."
"No, it's not that." Severus averted his gaze, exhaling tightly. "The potion will clear your sickness," he assured Remus, in a much more confident tone.
"Then what is it?" Remus peered closely at his companion. "You look spooked."
"It's nothing," Severus denied, still not exactly looking at him.
Remus knew not to push. "Alright then." He glanced away, unsure why it had gotten so awkward.
"I'm not used to this." He hadn't meant to blurt it out, but there it was, a statement of the most unsubtle fact Severus Snape could possibly think of. And for one used to being accused of subterfuge and espionage - which required subtlety, above all - well. This was new.
"Used to what, mate?" Remus had a hunch, but he didn't want to look a fool if he was completely off base. Besides, for some ungodly reason, Snape's opinion of him mattered.
He wanted to grit his teeth, but didn't. Severus looked at him impassively, or tried to; betraying emotion, he explained. "Taking care of ... others." It was different with Draco; Draco was a child, and one that could have been family, if Severus was capable of true delusion, or if Narcissa had willed it.
Remus flushed at Snape's confession. "Oh…I…I am putting you out. I'm sorry." He made to get up, but winced as his head pounded.
"Sit." The command was rather sharp, and Severus half-rose, following Remus' lead only enough to reach out and keep the other man still. "That's not what I meant, you dolt." The insult, however, was not laced with sarcasm, but held a tempered tone. "I ... I have never been good with people, Remus. You know this."
Remus blinked quickly, trying to block out the spinning colors in front of him. Oy, that had been a stupid move. "Alright, I concede. I AM a dolt." He cracked a tiny smile. "You are doing just fine, Severus."
"I am being an old maid," Severus groused, and observed Remus for a second more before moving away.
"Oy, don't make me laugh." Remus shook his head, clearly amused by it all. "And it's not like I'm going to tell anyone. Your reputation is safe. Promise."
"Good to know," Severus said dryly. "You'll take the bedroom this evening."
"No." Remus held his hand up. "I am fine right here."
"You are a guest. You are also a patient." Severus eyed him. "You will be comfortable elsewhere."
"And you will not. This is your home." Remus' lips set in a thin line, indicating he believed the argument over.
He had no idea whom he was dealing with if he could believe a battle won so easily. "I will be fine elsewhere."
"Severus."
"My flat," Severus retorted. "My rules. You're under my care and I won't have you on the bloody couch. Now shut up and accept the kindness, Remus, because you're not liable to get offered twice."
In spite of himself, Remus grinned. "I've a feeling you'll hex me if I dare argue anymore?"
Severus' mouth may have twisted into something slightly resembling a faint smile. "I invented a few popular ones," he reminded Remus, for once without bitterness.
"Yes, well, some of the targets DID deserve them." Remus noticed the smile and it rather pleased him.
Severus just lifted a brow. "Does this mean you will go where I want you to?"
Knowing he lost the battle, Remus nodded. "Yes, sir."
"Good." Severus would never know that in that self-satisfactory look, he rather resembled a triumphant Draco. It was a child's pleasure, one that he so rarely got to feel.
He would also never know Remus found himself thinking the expression very adorable. He flushed and blinked quickly, trying to push that thought aside. "I'll go now then." More slowly than before, he began to rise from his perch.
Severus sighed, though the sound was less at having to help than the fact that Remus would not ask for help. Without asking permission, he took Remus' arm, letting the other man's weight rest on him. "It's a short walk."
It wasn't pride that kept Remus from asking for help. He simply hated putting people out. Nonetheless, Severus was right; he couldn't make it very far without help. Saying nothing, Remus leaned against the Slytherin, allowing him to guide him into the bedroom. Inside, he lowered himself under the covers. "Thank you," he said for what must have been the thousandth time that day.
Severus smoothed precisely at the corner of the bed, for lack of anything better to do. He stepped away at the words. "Stop thanking me," he told Remus, somewhat grumpily, though the look on his face was far easier. "And don't move from this bed until I come back later, understood?"
Again feeling a fool, Remus nodded his agreement. "Good night, Severus."
"Good night." Severus slipped out into the darkened hallway, feeling a bit relieved to be gone.
With the lights out, Remus burrowed deeper under the covers, a smile playing on his lips. He could get used to this.