"That's true," Susan said thoughtfully. "I could convince her to come see us instead of me having to drag Nicky into that dreary old house." She made a face. It really wasn't that bad, but the emptiness made it seem that way sometimes.
"Maybe," she said softly, when he mentioned the idea of them still being together. Of them being happy. But as much as she liked the idea, she also often wondered if Charlie would ever have been able to settle down without things being resolved with Marjoli back in Romania, because they obviously hadn't been before. She didn't even know where things stood now, exactly, except that he'd said it was very over. And now they'd agreed not to talk about her, Susan couldn't ask.
But as much as she hated to think about it, maybe the heartache of it all had been inevitable. It made her all the more thankful that he was here again now.
Setting her plate aside, she slid to the edge of the bed so that her feet could rest comfortably flat on the floor, and reached for Charlie's hand. Was it too much? Probably. But she'd never been particularly good at hiding her feelings, not matter how hard she tried sometimes. "Having you back, even as a friend...I didn't expect it to feel this way. I want--"
Susan paused, not because she didn't want to say the words, but because she realised she didn't know what she'd intended to say. What did she want, other than the perfect world where neither of them had to wonder about what might have been? But maybe that was just it. There wasn't anything else she wanted. It was too much.
"I just want the world where we wouldn't have to wonder, I suppose," she said softly.