bl_charlie (bl_charlie) wrote in bloodlines_rp, @ 2009-10-02 23:57:00 |
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Entry tags: | charlie weasley, dec 2002, loc: st. mungo's, nicky bones (npc), susan bones, type: introspection |
Friday's with Nicky
Date & Time: 2 December 2002 | Late Night
Post Type: Introspection
Status: Closed: Complete
Character(s): Charlie Weasley, Nicky Bones (NPC), Susan Bones (Guest Appearance)
Location: St Mungo's
Summary: Charlie has a deep and meaningful conversation with Nicky.
Charlie wasn't altogether certain what time it was. It had been a long week at work, and even longer nights at hospital. This was nothing to the odd, despondent mood that had gripped Susan over the last couple of days, although she refused to let on the source of it. Nicky had seemed better, though, his patches of laboured breathing were growing less frequent. At any rate, he supposed he had been dozing a little bit, because the ward was only dimly lit- one might argue dark- and Susan had moved to the small cot that the orderlies had brought in for her (seemed like ages ago now) and was asleep.
He watched her for a moment, wondering what it was that might have woken him, and then he heard it again. His gaze flicked down to Nicky and realised that he was being stared at. Nicky made the noise a third time, a little chirrup of a cry, and rubbed a tiny, balled up fist into one of his closed eyes. Taking out his wand, he flicked his wand over himself and cast one of thirty million protection charms he'd done over the past forever. "Oh, no you don't, little man," Charlie said as he leaned forward and scooped Nicky into his arms. "Your mum's probably just gone to sleep and she'll wake and fret if you wake and fret."
He stood up and began to take a short walk around the ward. The orderly looked up in askence at him, but Charlie shook his head. It wasn't the first time he'd held a baby. Holding Gin or even Ron was nothing like this, however. This carried a completely different emotional resonance. His brain had accepted the fact that Nicky was his son, but his heart was a bit more reluctant. Slowly, though, with every breath, every twitch, every eyelid flutter when some unknowable dream was visiting him slowly chipped away the walls of Charlie's disbelief. Even Nicky seemed a bit more at ease with him, as though they had each been feeling one another out.
"Bit weird, yeah? Bein' with your dad," he murmured against Nicky's warm head. The baby wiggled a little and made a snuffling sort of sound. "Yeah, I know. I'm still getting used to it. Never pictured myself a dad. Rather thought my whole life would be about dragons. I mean, it still is, but it's not my whole life anymore. I start thinking about it, though, and I get-" He broke off, shifting uncomfortably. Nicky lifted his head away from Charlie's shoulder and then seemed to gently headbutt him, as if to encourage him.
"Yes, I suppose I can and should be honest with you, of all people. If you can't trust your dad, who can you trust?" He chuckled, which Nicky seemed to like, because he gave a little coo of amusement. Charlie was very careful to keep his voice steady, soft and soothing as he continued. "I'm terrified, mate. Scared out of my mind, really. I feel like I don't know the first thing about being a dad. I mean, mine was completely ace, even given his odd obsession with Muggle things. But he loved all of us, really brought us up properly. I mean, sure, we have our issues, but who doesn't? But we know better, and I suppose that's sort of all you can do. Teach your child- your boy- the things he'll need to know just to not make a colossal mess of his life and then pray that they make the right decisions, the good ones. Here's your first lesson, Nicholas: don't be stupid like your father. Be a stronger man, a better man. Don't let anyone do your thinking for you, despite how pretty she is."
Nicky made a series of noises, that somehow sounded both judgemental and dismissive. Who knew that 'gurglethurrrp' could be translated to, 'That's not on, mate'? "No, no," Charlie agreed, "I suppose you never would. Wish I hadn't. Always makes me wonder how things could've been different. But it doesn't do much good that. Lesson two: don't dwell on the past. It's back there for a reason. You remember it, you learn from it, but you don't live in it." He rubbed on Nicky's back; the bloke did seem to be getting a bit more quiet. He wondered if Nicky would be dropping off soon. "Now I just need to live that, y'know? Practice what I preach. Ah, Nicky, I can only hope to be even half the dad that you deserve. I love you, son. Son. I love you."
He waited until Nicky was a sleep again, and then put him down again once he was sure he was deeply enough asleep that the movement wouldn't wake him again. Charlie brushed a finger across the red fringe of his hair and then sat again. There had been word from the Healers that Nicky might be sent home soon. Home. Where did Charlie fit in this home? His and Susan's relationship was just now restarting. There was no way he could just move in. It wouldn't be right. He knew that he would have to take this slowly, even though life seemed to be demanding answers now. Life could wait. He just wanted to be with Susan and his son, in any way they would allow.