"Pretty fucking delusional, I suppose," Matthew agreed quietly, sounding abnormally hoarse once again; his voice had a naturally hoarse tenor to it, as if it had remained unused for days on end before he deigned to speak again -- though in truth, he spoke to someone or other every single day, both at work and at home. He did not even seem to realise that he'd let loose with another profanity; he was simply mimicking Stephen, really! "Nevertheless, it is the truth, Stephen! I mean, I have no interest in power, save of course the power to be my own man once more, apart from the Dark Lord...! But I'm afraid I'll... never be free of Him, really...!"
At that point, he choked up completely, and tried to fight back the tears welling up in his eyes. When they came, regardless, he used the heels of his hands to rub frantically at his eyes, trying to catch the tears before Stephen noticed them. "I'm.... fine, Stephen," he whispered, realising even then that his words were horribly unconvincing, and made some small effort to tell his friend the real truth of the matter: "I simply... don't know what to do anymore...!"