McKay (scribbulus_ink) wrote in blessedmoon, @ 2007-03-25 13:39:00 |
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Current mood: | excited |
Another Kind of Fandom Wank 4/5
Original poster: scribbulus_ink
Title: Another Kind of Fandom Wank 4/5
By: arionrhod and scribbulus_ink
To: Pir8blocker@gmail.com From: Rogue60@gmail.com Date: May 1, 2006 Subject: A confession Ethan - Today, a client of mine died. It's happened before, of course, although not often. This one, however, hit me particularly hard; partly because the young man in question seemed to have so much life ahead of him, so much promise, only to be let down by the failings of his body, and partly because I haven't been taking the advice I manage to dole out so freely to everyone else. First, because I would leave more regrets behind me than I would like, some of which I can do something about, and second, because I haven't been completely honest with you. Not that I've lied. I swear to you I've never told you an untruth. I've just not told you everything. See, one reason why I can connect with my clients on such a fundamental level is that I, too, suffer from a chronic but non-fatal illness. I am not dying, and there is no reason at all to expect that I won't have as full and complete a life as anyone else, but as with the young man who died this morning, there is no guarantee. There is no guarantee for anyone, I suppose, but right now, my own mortality is staring me in the face more fully than it has done in a long time. Which brings me to the regrets. You've helped me deal with so much, more than you know, and I'm grateful for that. I cherish our relationship and the things we've shared. As I told you after our first shared fantasy, it's more than just the physical release we've given each other. I feel an attraction to you, a connection that I value highly. To be honest, I think I'm more than half in love with you. Facing mortality this way has made me want more than anything to find out just where we could go together, how high we could fly. I realized that if I were to die, my greatest regret at this moment would be never having touched you or seen your face. It doesn't matter to me what you look like. You are you, and no one else ever could replace you in my life. Young, old, handsome, ugly - I don't care. I know what I want, and that is you. If you aren't running away screaming at this point - and I think I know you well enough to believe you aren't, although I can almost imagine you biting your lip, or perhaps drumming your fingers on the desktop as you read - then please, open the attachment. This is me, the real me. I want to continue to be the one who fulfills your fantasies, but I want to do it in person, where I can touch you and hold you and feel the reality of you. I'll understand if you don't feel the same way, and you know that I would never pressure you for anything you aren't ready to give. It's not my way, and I know that there is no way to achieve my happiness if it sacrifices yours. I don't want you to be uncomfortable with me, but I have to ask. I hope you understand. If all you can ever want from me is the faceless lover who gives you his words, then that's what I'll be; but I am asking you for the chance to give you all of myself. Yours - and I am yours in ways you probably don't realize, John View attachment. Download attachment. |
To: Rogue60@gmail.com From: Pir8blocker@gmail.com Date: May 5, 2006 Subject: A Reciprocal Confession I apologize for the delay in my response, but when you see the attachment enclosed, I believe you will understand why. It is not a recent photo; it was taken a few years ago before I started my own business. My former employer sent a few of us to a conference, and it was there the photograph was taken. When I left (you will know where in a moment) eight years ago, I cut my hair, but when this photo was taken, I had begun letting it grow out again. The silver had not appeared at that point either. View attachment. Download attachment. |
To: Pir8blocker@gmail.com From: Rogue60@gmail.com Date: May 5, 2006 Subject: We need to talk Severus - I'm on chat. I think we should talk, don't you? Yours, Remus |