elfflame (elfflame) wrote in blaise_zabini, @ 2008-02-08 06:41:00 |
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Entry tags: | blaise/draco/harry, fiction |
Fic: A Silent Voice - Harry/Draco/Blaise - NC-17
Title: A Silent Voice
Author: elfflame (aka Devlin Whitehorn)
Threesome: Harry/Draco/Blaise
Kink/Prompt: Hurt/Comfort, Lost
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Implication of past rape, m/m sex
Summary: After the war, Draco Malfoy finds something he thought long lost.
Wordcount: 11,017
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the related characters are not mine, they are the property of JK Rowling and affiliated companies.
Author’s notes: Immense amounts of love to my two betas, particularly C who nursed me through several drafts of this story. I wrote this for the Pimp my 3some fest, and I absolutely loved the experience, plus it gave me a chance to write this lovely bunny that I'd had lying around. This one isn't as pleasant as the other two H/D/B fics, but it's got a very satisfying ending. :)
“What do you mean he was in the Manor? If he’d been in the Manor, I would have seen him,” I growled at the young woman looking at me from the grate. After all, I had been there the entire time over the last few months of the war, spending my time trying to convince father I was still trustworthy, when really I’d been passing messages to the Order for Severus. I knew even then that he’d had his doubts about me, but the idea that Blaise had been there and alive all this time, being used by father somehow was appalling. How could I have not even known?
“I am only telling you what the Aurors told us, sir. You asked where he’d been, and that was what they said. We were hoping you could verify that he is, indeed, Blaise Zabini, and not simply someone who looks like him. We were told that the two of you were close?”
“We were,” I said stiffly. Of course, I’d thought Blaise dead or otherwise long gone, and had moved on with my life. Hearing that he’d been in the Manor all this time, a prisoner of whatever crooked scheme my father had concocted before he’d died in the final battle months ago made me feel ill.
“When was he found?” I asked her.
“A few days ago. A new sweep of the house and grounds. The Auror who brought him here said they found a new set of catacombs, and that he’d been hidden in a room there, well tended and fed fairly recently, but he was alone.”
“So why can’t you verify that he is who he says?” I asked her, the growl back in my voice.
“He can’t say who he is, sir. He has only spoken one word since the Auror brought him here. It was the main reason he brought him here. He’s a bit dehydrated, but Mr Zabini seems otherwise physically fine from what we can determine.”
That caught me entirely by surprise. “What? He…can speak, though, right?”
The woman nodded. “Yes sir. He keeps repeating your name.”
That was enough for me. “Move aside. I’m coming through.”
She blinked at me dumbly. “Excuse me?”
“I said, move aside and let me through!” This was…completely intolerable. Finally, her face disappeared from the floo, and I stepped forward into the grate, dropping some Floo powder on the logs, and called out, “St. Mungos.”
I slid through the Floo network and stepped out as neat as could be on the other end, something that frequently drove Harry mad—which was why the two of us tended to apparate most places. The mediwitch who had contacted me was standing next to the fireplace when I arrived. Good. That meant I wouldn’t have to chase her down and report her to her superiors. “Where is he?”
The woman did that blinking thing again, and I nearly snapped at her, but she shook her head as though clearing it of the cobwebs that had obviously built up there, then led me down the hall. We passed more than a dozen closed doors before she led me to a room, opening the door and leading me inside.
Blaise lay on one of those horrible hospital beds that always seemed so sterile. He was scrawny, and his skin was horribly grey, obviously from spending more than a year with no sunlight. His once-beautiful black hair was lank, if well-groomed, but all the shine had gone from it. It was as though the life had been drained from him.
When I stepped forward to touch him, though, the nurse caught my arm. “Wait.” I turned to her, snarling slightly, but she persisted. “He’s in a very fragile state right now. He hasn’t let anyone touch him since he was found. We’re not sure what happened to him, and we haven’t been able to get close enough to do a full exam. We’re not sure what he might have been put through. Just…take it slow.”
It was possibly the first intelligent thing she’d said to me. I nodded, then approached Blaise slowly, like you would a spooked animal. “Blaise?” I said softly, scared that he would shy away from even me.
Upon turning to see who had spoken, his eyes, which had been lifeless and dull, sparkled, and he threw himself at me, curling around me and shaking, all without a sound. I did the only thing that came naturally. My arms closed around him, and I began to stroke his back. “It’s all right. I’m here now.” I wasn’t entirely sure what I could do, but I certainly wasn’t about to leave him alone, now that I knew he was still alive.
His body shook for what felt like hours before he finally calmed, though he never let go of me. I stayed, talking about random things, but no matter what I said, he never spoke a word. When visiting hours were over, the nurse returned to let me know that I could come see him again the next day. But when I tried to separate myself from him, but he panicked.
“It’s all right, Blaise. I’ll be back tomorrow. I can’t stay. I have to get home.”
He clung to me, either not understanding my words, or not believing them. It took the nurse casting a sedation spell on him to finally get me free. I watched him sleep for a moment, then turned to her. “Is he always like this?”
She shook her head. “No. Like I said, he hasn’t let anyone touch him since he arrived. He certainly hasn’t clung to anyone that way. You must have been very close.”
We had been. But I was hardly about to tell her that. I ignored her question disguised as a statement. “So…now what? I mean…he can’t just stay here, can he?”
She shook her head. “I’m afraid not. Once we’re certain he’s in good health, he’ll have to leave. We just don’t have room for him to stay.”
“Have you contacted his mother?” Blaise might not have been fond of her, but she was his family, after all.
The nurse shook her head. “We haven’t been able to reach her. She’s either not answering our owls, or…” She let the rest trail off quietly. So many had gone missing at the end of the war, and I knew exactly what that might mean. I glanced at Blaise, now asleep on the bed. I couldn’t help but feel that I might be the only person he had left in the world.
“Is it alright if I bring someone else with me tomorrow?” I asked. Harry and I had had many discussions of my relationship with Blaise, and I knew that convincing him Blaise should be our guest until he recovered would be difficult. But Harry had always had a soft heart. Surely seeing Blaise this way would convince him he needed our help.
“Of course. I wouldn’t recommend too many visitors, but seeing how he reacted to you, I can only hope more old friends will help as well. But one at a time is likely best.”
I nodded, neglecting to explain that the one I’d be bringing wasn’t exactly someone Blaise had considered a friend. But seeing as they’d hardly known each other, it could hardly hurt, right?
What’s the Muggle expression? Famous last words?
When I tried to explain things to Harry, he wasn’t much in the mood for listening.
“No! Draco…he’s your lover!”
“Ex-lover. I haven’t seen him in a year and a half. More. But he’s still my friend, Harry. And you didn’t see him. Didn’t see what he’d done to him. Please. Just come with me to the hospital? If you still refuse after seeing him…I’ll…figure something else out, okay?”
Harry glowered at me a long moment before he finally nodded. “All right.” His arms went around me. “I just can’t lose you, Draco. Not after everything else.”
“You’re not going to lose me.” That, at least, I could reassure him about safely.
He relaxed at my words, and I let myself hope that maybe things would turn out all right for us.
But you know how it is with hope. It always seems to turn out false. When we got to Blaise’s room the next morning, he was asleep. I told Harry to wait by the door while I woke him, thinking that it would be easier to get him to relax if he saw me first. Unfortunately, though he smiled when he woke at seeing me, the moment his eyes focused on Harry, Blaise began to shriek and thrash, pulling away from me, jumping off the bed and cowering in the furthest corner of the room.
We had to leave while the nurse sedated him, and I stood there in the hall, my own horror reflected back at me from Harry’s face.
After a moment, Harry managed to find his tongue. “He couldn’t have been like that when you saw him yesterday.” I shook my head to confirm that. “So what happened?”
“I wish I knew.” I looked at the door to Blaise’s room, hoping that they would manage to calm him. “I just hope he’s okay.”
Harry moved closer, his arm settling around my waist. “He will be. We’ll help him.”
My heart warmed at the words, and I leaned against him, but I couldn’t let myself hope too much. Not yet. Not after that reaction. All we could do for now was stand there and wait for the nurse to come out, and hope that Blaise would be okay.
And while we did, my thoughts were spinning. Why would Blaise react so harshly to seeing Harry? They’d barely known each other at school. Which meant something else had caused the reaction. It also meant that whatever had caused it was likely because of something my father had done.
When the nurse emerged from the room, I stepped forward, but before I could say anything, she snapped at me. “I believe I told you his state of health was fragile, Mister Malfoy! How you could endanger your friend by scaring him so badly? What on earth did you do?”
“Nothing. He…” I glanced at Harry for a second, then back at the nurse. “He reacted to Harry’s presence. I…don’t suppose he’s done that with anyone else?” She shook her head, her eyes glinting dangerously. “No one at all?” This wasn’t good, and I had a sneaking suspicion that I knew what father had done.
“No,” she said, and I could hear the anger in her tone, but right now I couldn’t let that bother me.
I knew what it might mean, and though I didn’t want to admit it to myself, I could see now there was little chance that there was another possibility. “I…think I know what might have happened.” I glanced at Harry, then looked back at the nurse. “I think…my father made Blaise believe…something about Harry.”
Her eyes glittered with something dangerous for a second before she looked at Harry, and I could see the moment she realized who he was. “I…see.” She turned to me. “Some sort of…evidence against him, perhaps?”
More likely a way to try to separate the two of us, but I wasn’t going to say that to her. In the final battle, father had shouted something about how I’d betrayed him and our cause to sleep with a half-blood. At the time, I’d suspected he’d known about Harry, something that had started shortly after I’d begun spying for the Order, but this seemed to confirm it for me. I could see the realization of what I was implying flash across Harry’s face out of the corner of my eye, but right now, I had to focus on her. “Something like that. Is there anything you can do about that?”
She glanced between the two of us for a moment, then sighed. “I suppose we could have our memory consultant come in and try to…isolate and block the memories of Mister Potter. I cannot guarantee that it will work, though. Everything will still be there. We’ll just be blocking the memories themselves. And memories have a way of returning.”
I nodded. “I know. But we have to try.”
She sighed. “I’ll go see if he is here today.” She turned and walked down the hall, and I had to force myself to wait until she’d turned the corner before I turned to Harry.
The look on Harry’s face was an echo to just how I felt. He looked as though he were going to be ill. “You don’t think he…?”
“Pretended to be you and…hurt him? Almost definitely.” And if he’d done that, I had to assume he’d disguised himself as me, as well, and ‘comforted’ him after. Which was why he’d reacted just as strongly to me. Just the thought was enough to make me ill. “God…Harry, what if…”
Harry pulled me into his arms. “Don’t think about it. If they can help him, they will. And if not…we’ll figure out something else, okay?”
I nodded, feeling lost because I wasn’t able to actively help Blaise.
When the nurse returned with a young man who was apparently their memory specialist, it was all I could do not to insist I be allowed in with them to make sure they didn’t hurt Blaise further. They were in his room for what felt like hours, and Harry tried several times to get me to leave—either home, so that we could relax a bit, or up to the tea room so that I would at least eat. All of his attempts fell on deaf ears, though. I watched the door avidly until it opened once more.
The young man looked tired, but the nurse seemed satisfied, which made me cling to the hope that it had worked. “Well?”
“He is asleep for the moment,” she said. “But if you are willing to let him wake on his own, I see no reason to believe that he would not shortly. We’ve managed to block most of his time at the Manor, I think. But if he even begins to react badly…”
I nodded. Harry seemed dubious, though. When I turned to him after they’d left, he didn’t look at all ready to go test if it had worked. “Maybe you should go in by yourself first, Draco…”
“No, Harry. How else are we going to know if it worked?” I took his hand and led him to the door. “Just…stay near the door. That way, if something happens…” He nodded, obviously agreeing with me that it was better that way, though I could see he really didn’t want to follow me in at all.
Blaise was curled up on the bed, but I settled next to him and began to stroke at his hair while I waited for him to wake. It happened slowly, with first a stretch, then his eyes fluttering as he turned to curl towards me. He blinked up at me for a moment, then a soft smile settled over his face. “Draco.”
“Yes, darling.” I took a deep breath, then said, “I brought someone to see you. You remember me saying I was seeing someone?” Blaise seemed to be more coherent than he had been the day before, because he nodded. “Well, he came with me today.” I glanced towards the door, where Harry stood, and Blaise followed my gaze.
Harry, upon seeing Blaise not only look at him, but smile, moved towards the bed. “Hey,” he said softly, his hand going to my shoulder. I braced myself for the reaction, but after a moment, with no horrified response, I let myself breathe again.
Blaise smiled at him, then turned back to me, sitting up and then crawling into my lap and curling up there. I stroked his back, then swallowed, my nerves jangling. “Blaise…Harry and I were wondering…” I turned my face to look up at Harry, who nodded, then looked back at Blaise. “We’d like you to come stay with us while you get better. If you’d like to, I mean.”
The beaming smile that drew from Blaise didn’t need words to communicate his acceptance. I hugged him close, then pulled away. “I need to talk to the nurse first, though. I’m sure they have a few tests they still need to do.”
Blaise made a face, but nodded.
“And hopefully they’ll let you come home with me tomorrow.” I smiled at him, brushing a strand of hair from his face. “All right?”
With another nod, Blaise pulled away, and I smiled at him, pleased that he seemed so much calmer. Perhaps just showing him I would come back had helped? Or perhaps the memory spell proved that Blaise’s reaction to Harry before and after had been somehow related? I didn’t want to think about it right now, though.
I stood and moved to Harry’s side. “I’ll see you soon,” I said to him. He smiled at us softly from where he was sitting on the bed. Then we turned and left to find the nurse.
She assured me that I could come and collect him in the morning, since the only problems they’d noticed while he’d been here the past two days had been his lack of speech and his reaction to Harry. She did seem concerned about that, but I assured her that he’d reacted to Harry fine when we’d gone back into the room. She said the clothes he’d been found him had been beyond repair, and that it might be a good idea to bring something he could wear.
Once we had returned home for the night, I could feel Harry pull away from me from the moment we stepped through the door. I knew this wouldn’t be easy for him, especially after Blaise’s reaction and our speculations, but I hoped I could at least show him how much this meant to me.
“Harry?”
“Yes, Draco?” he said, though he was looking distractedly through the mail so as to avoid my eyes.
“Please look at me?”
Harry sighed, but set down the pile and turned to look at me. “Yes, Draco?”
“I know this will be hard—”
Harry stopped me before I could go any further. “You don’t have to convince me, Draco. I get it. He needs our help.”
I swallowed. That hadn’t entirely been what I was going to say, but after our conversation before we’d gone to the hospital, it was good to hear. “Thank you.” I said, then pulled him into a hug. He resisted at first, but then his arms came up, and he clung to me.
Ours had always been a complicated relationship. Both before the war and after. Even our hate had never been a simple thing. We were both everything to each other, now. Lover, friend, family. Everything we could possibly need, all in one person. Sometimes he was the one who needed support, and others it was me. Somehow, it had always worked for us.
I led him into our bedroom, then pulled him gently towards the bed. Harry went unresisting, and soon we were snuggled together there. “I love you,” I told him softly. They weren’t words I said often, but I knew Harry needed to hear them at the moment, and was pleased when some of the tension seemed to leave his shoulders.
A soft smile flickered over his face for a moment. “I love you, Draco.” He shifted onto his side so he could look at me better. “So much. And sometimes…” He trailed off, unable or unwilling to finish the statement.
“You won’t lose me, Harry,” I assured him. “We need each other too much. If we could survive that bloody war, and my father’s machinations, and the fact that most of the Wizarding world thinks we’ve lost our minds…”
Harry put his fingers to my lips. “I know. But I can see it in his eyes, Draco. He still wants you.”
It was something I couldn’t deny. So I chose to distract instead. I pulled him into a kiss, and he pressed against me, as eager and needy as I was.
Our kisses started out slow, each exploring the other’s mouth with tongues and lips and gentle nips of teeth. Harry’s hands settled on my hips, pulling me closer, and I moaned into his kiss-swollen mouth. “Yes.” I ran a hand down his back and stroked over his arse. “I want to feel you, Harry. Just you. Please?”
Harry let out a strangled groan at that, then pressed me back onto the bed and began kissing his way down my neck, his fingers making short work of the fastenings on my clothes. “Yes,” he breathed.
At first, it was just kisses and caresses. Harry’s hands moving over me and making me moan and squirm. He seemed intent on driving me to madness before he gave me what he wanted, what I was craving. “Please, Harry,” I moaned. “I need you.”
“All yours, Draco,” he whispered to me. With those words, his lips sealed around me, and it was all I could do not to arch off the bed.
“Ah! Harry!” My fingers tangled in that mop of black hair, and I tried to relax into the feeling of what Harry was doing to me. “Yes…”
Harry’s lips slid over me, swallowing around me, then he pulled away and settled on top of me, kissing me softly as he reached for the lube. I distracted myself while he fumbled with the lid, nipping and sucking at his neck, my legs spreading wider as I waited for the cold feeling of lube-covered fingers pressing into me.
It never came. Instead there were cold fingers around my cock, and then Harry was straddling me, and I realized what he intended to do. And it made me realize just how vulnerable Harry was feeling right now. My hands went to his waist, and he smiled down at me, then shifted, pressing back onto my cock. His head went back, and he moaned as I filled him, and I couldn’t resist pressing up into him, pushing even deeper into that tight, perfect heat.
It always awed me how well we fit together. Even doing things we didn’t do often always felt perfect with Harry. In a way they never had with anyone else, not even Blaise.
That night we made love, not once, but twice, first him riding me, then, once we had recovered, it was my turn to feel him inside me. Our voices lost in the need of the moment so that only breathy gasps filled our bedroom. Afterwards, tangled together, I held him close. “Harry...”
He kissed me softly. “I love you, Draco. So much.”
We slept wound around each other together that night, not letting go for a moment.
In the morning, we made love in the shower before Harry left for work, then I pulled on some clothes, and packed a pair of trousers and a jumper for Blaise and headed for St Mungos. It was a gorgeous day, and still a bit early, so I decided to walk.
I made it to the hospital just as visiting hours started, and went straight for Blaise’s room. He grinned to see me, and I got my usual hug. I gave him the clothes and told him I’d be back in a moment, as soon as I had him all checked out of the hospital. He seemed pleased to hear it, and was already taking off the horrid pajamas they’d given him as I left him to find the nurse.
It took me several minutes to fill out all the release papers stating that I was willing to take responsibility for Blaise’s care until such time as he was well, so by the time I got back, he was fully dressed and quite impatient. He jumped to his feet, then linked his arm with mine, and I smiled at him. “I take it that means you’re ready?” I asked, amused.
He nodded, and I led him out to the lobby before putting my arms around him. “Just hold on, all right?” I asked him. I felt his grip tighten around my waist, then closed my eyes to concentrate on the flat, and apparated us there.
We appeared in the hallway, and I led him first to the room we reserved for guests. “This will be your room,” I said, opening the door so we could go in. His brow furrowed for a second, but he stepped in and looked around, then turned to smile at me. “Would you like to see the rest of the house now, or have a nap?”
The rolling eyed look he sent me told me he was definitely not sleepy, and I laughed. Even not speaking, Blaise could obviously speak volumes.
“All right, come on, then.” I lead the way back out into the hallway, and showed him where the guest bathroom was, and then the bedroom Harry and I slept in. He got another of those looks on his face, but it passed quickly, and I led the way into the living room.
Blaise stopped abruptly when we entered. And I have to admit, he had good reason. Harry had wanted to fill our home with the Muggle electronics he’d always wanted as a boy, so he’d bought them, and I’d grown used to them since we’d moved in together. So much so that I had forgotten to prepare Blaise for the idea.
“It’s all right, Blaise. It’s a Muggle thing. Sort of like portraits, but…it tells stories,” I told him. He looked dubious at the idea, so I set him on the couch, then turned on the telly, quick to turn off the volume, so not as to startle him. I remembered my own trepidation when came to the things at first, but I’d quickly grown used to the things, and often found myself watching a movie when I was home alone for the day. I flipped to an innocuous channel showing some sort of game show. Not the best of offerings, but still, something that wouldn’t confuse Blaise too much—I hoped, then turned back up the volume so he could hear.
When I looked at him, it was all I could do not to laugh. He was literally enthralled by the images on the screen. I’d forgotten how entranced I’d been by the thing when Harry had first shown me. I settled next to Blaise, then waited for him to wake from his trance.
When he’d barely moved after ten minutes, I waved a hand in front of his eyes, and tried not to laugh again when he turned to blink at me. He looked awed, and I nodded. “Muggles aren’t quite as stupid as we were taught, are they?”
He shook his head, looking a bit shell-shocked. “Why don’t I show you the kitchen, all right? And we can make something to eat?” It was well past noon, and obviously my stomach agreed that was a good idea, as it chose that moment to rumble.
We both chuckled, and I led the way to the kitchen, then pulled out some sandwich makings and juice. We settled at the table and I proceeded to tell him all about what I did with my spare time these days. I didn’t have a regular job. Didn’t really need it. So I spent my time fundraising. Blaise looked horrified when I told him I’d even helped Granger with a fundraising campaign for SPEW.
“She’s not that bad, really. And once I explained a few things to her, the campaign took on a different bent. Even the house-elves are a bit happier now.”
He looked a bit dubious at that, so rather than argue the point, I turned the talk to those of our circle who had survived the war, though I avoided those who had not. Neither of us needed to deal with that.
After lunch, I put on a movie. Robin Hood. I figured it was better than the Muggle stories, considering how intense some of them tended to be.
He seemed to like it, and before I realized it, Harry was home. I got up from the couch to greet him with a kiss. “I forgot to start dinner. Was there anything you’d like?”
He glanced at Blaise, and I could see him smile at how entranced the other man was at what we were watching. Then he turned back to me and shook his head. “I’ll go get some pick-up. Is curry okay?”
I nodded, then glanced back at Blaise, who hadn’t even moved since Harry had come in. “I think that will do.”
“Looks familiar,” Harry said with a soft smile.
“Yes. At least now we know he won’t be bored if I end up having to go to a meeting of some sort.” I kissed him. “See you in a few minutes, then?”
Harry nodded, then left, and I settled back down to finish watching the movie with Blaise. He came back just as King Richard appeared at the end, and we finished watching the movie, then went into the kitchen to eat.
The first few days went like that. Blaise and I spending the day together, talking or watching movies, then Harry would come home and we’d have supper that he’d brought, or that Blaise and I had put together. It was nice and quiet. And too good to last.
It was the weekend that caused the problem. Blaise was used to having most of my attention after three days of it, and as Saturday drew on, his temper worsened. By the evening, he stormed to his own room in a huff, and refused to open the door. Nothing I said or did worked. Finally, Harry tried, and surprisingly enough, managed to get him to come out, though he still avoided looking at me.
It took a while for me to understand the problem, but soon enough it was clear: it wasn’t that he thought I was ignoring him. It was that he was frustrated with his own inability to speak. When it was just one of us, he could sort of interact, but with two, he had trouble getting our attention, and was obviously feeling upset with his inability to communicate.
It took us most of the weekend to get something sorted out, but by Monday morning, Blaise seemed in a better mood. Still, I decided that it would be best if we waited a few days before I tried to push him to go out, if things were that tense when it was just the three of us. A whole crowd would probably be much worse.
Still, after a week of being in the house, I was getting a bit restless myself. Blaise seemed happy to keep things just as they were for now, but I was used to being able to come and go as I wished.
By Tuesday afternoon, I couldn’t handle it any longer. I just had to get out. I set up the telly for him—it still intimidated him, even though I’d shown him how to use the boxes to turn it on and off—then told him that I’d be back shortly.
That caught his attention. He looked up at me, then stood, catching my arm.
“I just need to get some groceries,” I told him calmly. Harry and I had been taking extra care to talk to him about everything since the weekend, but I’d been so desperate to get out, I hadn’t considered it until now. “I won’t be gone long.”
He got a rather belligerent expression on his face, then dragged me to the room I shared with Harry. “Blaise…what…?” I stopped as soon as he released me, and watched as he began to dig through my closet for shoes he could wear. While he could wear my clothes, shoes were a different matter, as his feet were a good deal larger.
He emerged after a moment with a pair of flip-flops, and I watched as he settled on the bed to toe them on. The soles were just large enough to fit him, though I could see the bands over his toes were a touch tight.
“Blaise, you don’t have to come with me,” I started, but even as I began to speak, he stood up and took my arm, looking rather pleased with himself. I laughed. “All right, but the second you feel too uncomfortable, let me know, and we’ll come home, all right?”
Blaise nodded, and we went together to the kitchen to grab a couple of the cloth shopping bags Harry and I used for our groceries. At least this way, we’d be able to get more. And it would test the water a bit. Maybe if this worked out, Blaise would be interested in going shopping for himself soon.
The shop was just down the street, and we walked slowly, Blaise staying close to me and still clinging to my arm. The passers-by didn’t bother me as much as Blaise’s reaction to it all. He seemed all right now, though he avoided everyone’s eyes. Still, we had yet to reach the shop, and that was likely to be a great deal more crowded.
Luckily, we arrived between the morning and noon rushes, and so there were only a few people in the small shop. He started the first few times people brushed against him while we were there, but when they didn’t try to reach out and grab him, he seemed content enough to hang on my arm.
We managed to plan out a few meals for the next few days together with me asking questions, and his pointing to certain things. Then we went to the front and managed to get rung up before the lunch-rush, making our way back to the flat after with no incidents to speak of. I couldn’t help but feel relieved. Enough that I thought he might actually be up to going out the next day and shopping for clothes. It would make a nice change of pace for both of us.
Still, I wasn’t ready to push it just yet. We put away the groceries, then made lunch before going back into the living room to watch the movie I’d intended to start for Blaise back when I’d thought I was going to leave him here alone. We watched until Harry got home.
I didn’t even broach the subject until the next morning. Blaise was watching something on regular telly, and I’d let him, settling to read through some of the magazines I’d stacked up to read in my free time. An article about refreshing ones wardrobe brought the idea back to the front of my thoughts, and I turned to see Blaise watching avidly as some imbecile tried to bet his life’s savings to buy his wife a coat she wanted, or some silly nonsense like it, anyway.
“Blaise?” I had to repeat myself several times before he managed to tear his attention from the telly, and looked at me questioning. “Look at this.” I handed him the magazine, and he looked at it, then back at me, bemused. “I was just thinking… Yesterday went so well… Maybe you’d like to go clothes shopping? Not that I mind you wearing my clothes, but…”
He raised an eyebrow at me, then began to look through the magazine. At first I thought he was just curious, but then I realized his hand was shaking. I reached out to stroke his hand. “It’s okay, Blaise, we don’t have to. Not if you don’t feel ready. Not yet.”
He looked at me for a long, shaky moment, then pulled me into a hug, and my hands settled on his back, stroking him to keep him calm. “Whenever you’re ready. We’ll go. And not before.” Even though I wanted to push him to at least start thinking about it, it was too soon. After all, he’d hardly been out of that room a week.
After that, I didn’t bring up the idea again. I knew he’d let me know. Occasionally, we’d leave the flat to go get takeout or groceries, but another week passed before he finally brought it to my attention again.
He’d managed a few simple words by then, but only with Harry or me. He and Harry had spent the day together a few days earlier. Harry’d taken a day off work because things had been a bit slow, and he’d told me to go take care of a few things for my business. I was the figurehead for my company, but I had several employees who handled the day-to-day affairs. Still, this was an opportunity for me to see how everything was, and sign any papers that needed signing.
When I’d returned, the two of them seemed quite cozy. Blaise had curled up on Harry’s lap. It had been a bit of a shock for me, and I will admit that for a moment, I felt a flash of jealousy, though it faded when Blaise turned to smile up at me, and Harry greeted me with a kiss and said softly, “Welcome home, Draco. Supper should be finished shortly.”
When we had supper that night, I noticed he was more vocal. Not just with me, but with Harry as well. It made him much easier to talk to. Even if the sentences he spoke were one word only.
So when he approached me that morning and said, “Today?” I wasn’t exactly shocked.
But I was quite pleased. I smiled, at him, and nodded, then said, “But only if you’re sure, Blaise. Don’t push this. I don’t want you getting upset.”
He shook his head at me. “Ready,” he said, obviously trying to reassure me.
“All right. But the second you want to leave, you let me know, okay?” There was no way I was about to let Blaise push himself too far.
At that, he nodded, then smiled back. He got that strange look on his face again, and before I could stop him he’d pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Blaise…” He smiled softly and shook his head, and I knew he wouldn’t listen to a word I said, so I let it drop. For now.
We made our way to Diagon Alley, and while Blaise seemed calmer than he had on our first trip to the grocer’s, I could still feel the tension radiating from him as we walked down the narrow lane that housed most of England’s wizarding shops. We stopped at Gringott’s first, and Blaise withdrew a substantial amount from his vault, then we went into Malkin’s.
The shop was nearly empty. It was the middle of the day, and everyone seemed to be either at work or in school, so we had the attendant to ourselves. It was good until she tried to measure him for the fit, and he backed away.
“Blaise, it’s all right,” I said, my arm going around him to try to calm him. He shook his head. “She just needs to measure you. She won’t hurt you.” He shook his head more vehemently this time, and I sighed, knowing it was a lost cause.
I led him to the pre-made clothes to see what we could find. After all, off the rack was better than nothing, I supposed. We left the shop with a promise from the clerk to send our purchases home for us, then turned towards Ollivanders.
Blaise’s wand had never been recovered, and I had to assume that father had destroyed it. If Blaise was ever to recover, he would need a new wand. I only hoped that Ollivander, who was creepy on the best of days, wouldn’t terrify Blaise so much that we would have to leave the shop without having found him one.
The shop was every bit as dusty and creepy as I remembered it being, but we stepped up to the counter and rang the bell, then waited for the proprietor to appear and scare us out of our wits.
Sure enough, even though I was watching the back carefully so that I could see him approach, he somehow managed to sneak up on us from behind. “Mister Malfoy. Good to see you. And Mister Zabini. A surprise, indeed.”
We both blinked at him for a moment before I managed to find my voice. “Mister Ollivander. Blaise needs a new wand. The Aurors…never found his.”
Ollivander nodded solemnly. “Such a shame. Still, we should be able to find you another, Mister Zabini. Ebony and dragon heartstring, I believe?” He didn’t bother to wait for an answer, though. Even as he asked, he was heading into the stacks of boxes that lined the shelves. He returned in a moment with a box, opening it and holding out the contents to Blaise, who picked up the wand…and nothing happened.
After a long moment, I looked at Ollivander. “What does it mean?”
Ollivander looked rather pleased. “His magic has changed.” He disappeared into the back of the shop once more, and emerged with more boxes. He began handing them to Blaise one at a time, then snatching them away once more when there was no effect.
It was only after a rather large stack of boxes had amassed that Blaise found his wand, a bright glow surrounding him the moment his fingers closed around the handle. Ollivander’s eyes took on an eerie light. “Hawthorn and phoenix feather. A truly fascinating combination.”
I blinked. That Blaise should end up with my own wand wood was unusual enough, but to end up with a phoenix feather core? “Is it?” I asked, as though I were merely curious.
Ollivander obviously wasn’t fooled. “I’m certain you must have some ideas why, Mister Malfoy?”
Rather than answer, I gave a non-committal shrug, then handed him the galleons for the wand, and we left. This wasn’t something I wanted to be discussing with that man, let alone anywhere in public. Hell, I wasn’t even certain I wanted to tell Harry. After all, what could it mean that Blaise’s wand was basically a combination of ours?
By the time we got home, I’d pushed the knowledge to the back of my mind, letting it hide behind thoughts of supper and clothes and watching telly with Blaise. And by the time Harry made it home, I’d forgotten it almost entirely.
Another week went by, and having Blaise with us had begun to feel normal. He was just another part of our little family, and Harry and I both stopped thinking about being circumspect with each other around him. We still kept generally to kissing in front of him, though, and left most everything else for our bedroom. At least, until the night when Harry came home with great news: he was being promoted.
We went out for supper that night, and Blaise even managed to order for himself, though it came out slow and halting. I was pleased that the waitress seemed to understand him, and didn’t act impatient in the least. We left her an appropriately big tip for that.
After supper, we returned home, and I could barely keep my hands off Harry. I didn’t even notice Blaise leaving the room for his bedroom. All I wanted was to show Harry how proud I was of him. How much I loved him. We didn’t even make it to our own room, just scattered clothes everywhere as we attacked each other, falling onto the couch.
My fingers buried in Harry’s hair as he kissed down my neck, and I arched against him, moaning. “Yes. Please.” I swallowed, then let my fingers trace down his chest and stomach. “Love you, Harry.”
Out lovemaking had been rather sedate of late. It had been difficult for me to respond when I knew Blaise was just rooms away, lying alone in the bed we’d loaned him. But now, all thoughts of Blaise were forgotten and our love took on a new fire. All I knew was that I needed to cover every inch of Harry’s body with kisses, and never even noticed his distraction as I did so.
Over my head, green eyes met gold, and some kind of understanding was reached, though I was oblivious. Then Harry’s attention returned to me as though nothing unusual had occurred, and even the simple details of skin and salt were lost in a whirl of sensation. I didn’t even recall returning to bed that night.
I woke late the next morning, and when I finally showered and made my way to the living room, Blaise was settled in a chair, reading. He looked up as I entered, and smiled at me, and I smiled back. “It was a nice evening, wasn’t it?” I asked.
He nodded, then stood. “Breakfast?”
“Sounds delightful.” I hooked my arm around his, and we went to the kitchen and ended up putting together what turned out to be a four-course breakfast. Apparently I needed to get laid more often, if this was the mood I was in the day after, I decided. After breakfast, we took a walk to the grocers for supper—we’d used up everything we might have used for supper, after all, then settled down to watch Independence Day.
By the end of the movie, my head had settled on Blaise’s shoulder, and somewhere along the way, I’d fallen asleep. I woke to lips on mine, and parted them in response automatically, sighing into the kiss. It was only when I went to wind my fingers in Harry’s short mop and instead encountered Blaise’s long thick fall of hair that I opened my eyes and pulled away, horrified.
“Blaise?” It wasn’t a shock, really. I simply hadn’t expected it. And Harry…god. He’d be hurt. Or furious. Or…god knew what. I stood, then moved across the room. “Why?”
Blaise looked at me sadly for a moment, then looked away. His shoulders slumped, and after a moment, he stood and went to his room.
I calmed myself before following him. The door to his room was closed, so I knocked. “Blaise?” When he didn’t answer or open the door, I knocked again, then tried the handle. But he’d obviously hexed it. And now, all I could picture was Blaise trying to hurt himself or worse…laying in a pool of blood, already dead. I pounded on the door now. “Blaise, let me in. Please!” There was no response at all.
I couldn’t say how long it took before I gave up on banging on the door and calling out to him, and sank to the floor, my back resting against the door, still tapping against it with whispered, “Please,” every so often. To be honest, I lost all track of time, and was rather startled when I heard the front door open.
I stumbled to my feet, wincing as the blood rushed back to my foot, which appeared to have fallen asleep. “Harry!” I was so relieved to have him home. Surely together we could get through to Blaise?
Harry came down the hall, then looked at me, bemused. “Draco? What’s going on? Is Blaise all right?”
“He’s locked himself in there,” I said. But even as I said it, I knew that eventually I’d have to explain why, and decided it would be simpler to just get it out of the way now. “He kissed me. And I…reacted badly.”
Harry looked less horrified than I had expected. In fact, he seemed quite calm about it. He just nodded, then looked at the door for a moment before looking back at me. “Let me deal with it.”
“But…”
He pushed me gently towards the living room. “It will be okay, Draco.” He gave me a quick kiss, then turned towards the door. He knocked once, and to my shock, the door opened. Without a backwards glance, he went inside, and the door closed behind him. All I could do now was wait until they emerged. And hope they didn’t try to kill one another because of me.
I settled on the edge of the couch, perched there and unable to relax. There was no shouting coming from the room, not even from Harry, which was what I had expected, given that Blaise still wasn’t speaking much. Still, that didn’t mean that things were going well. I didn’t know what to think any longer. Maybe it had been a bad idea to take Blaise in? But if we hadn’t, who would have? And for the moment I’d responded to Blaise’s kiss, it had felt…right. But how could I ever tell Harry that? My thoughts raced in circles as I waited for Blaise’s door to open once more.
When the door opened, and both of them stepped from the room, I sprang to my feet, looking from Blaise’s face to Harry’s and back. Neither of them seemed angry or sad, or looked bruised in any way. What had happened? “Harry?”
He glanced at Blaise, then nodded, and the two of them moved to either side of me. What was this? “What...”
Harry put a finger to my lips. “Come on. Let’s sit, okay?” he said.
I glanced at Blaise, who was watching me cautiously, almost hopeful, then I nodded. Whatever had happened in his room, something had changed. I settled back where I’d been waiting for them before, and the two of them sat to either side of me. I turned to look at Harry, worried that he would try to sacrifice himself if he thought that was what was called for. I wasn’t going to let him do it. No matter what Blaise meant to me. “Harry…”
“Shh. Just…let me talk, okay?” I bit my lip, then nodded. “I know you still care for Blaise.” I opened my mouth to try to deny it, bit that finger covered my lips once more. “It doesn’t matter, Draco. It’s okay. If you didn’t care about him, you wouldn’t be the man I loved,” he said with a soft smile. Before I could respond, though, he continued. “He’s come to mean a lot to me, too, these past few weeks. I never thought we’d get on, but I think he and I understand each other better than I would have expected. In a few ways, actually.”
Did this have something to do with why Blaise had let Harry into his room when he’d locked me out? And not once, but twice. “Oh? And what is that?”
“The futility of arguing with a Malfoy?” he said with a rueful grin. “And how beautiful they are, even when they are angry?”
“Harry?” I was even more confused now than I had been before.
“If we hadn’t been a couple…”
It was my turn to stop him. “No. Don’t even go there. I meant it when we talked about this before. I’m not leaving you. Not for anyone.” I was shaking a bit. Harry couldn’t do this to me. We’d been through too much together for him to just give up now. No matter what I might want to happen between Blaise and me.
Harry took my hands. “I wasn’t going to suggest that, Draco.” He glanced over my shoulder, and I turned to look at Blaise as well. There was some sort of silent communication going on between them, and then Harry turned back to look at me again. “But just because we love each other…that doesn’t mean we couldn’t love him as well, does it?”
What that meant became abundantly clear when Harry slipped off the couch and settled in front of Blaise, who leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was soft, at first, but not at all tentative. They’d done this before. But when? “Harry?”
He pulled away from Blaise, then turned to look at me. “What we have won’t change, Draco. We’re just adding to it, not taking away.”
“But…” Before I could say more, it was Blaise’s fingers that covered my lips. I was almost scared to look at him, but I turned to do so. He smiled softly at me, then his hand shifted, stroking gently over my cheek, and pulling me closer. After seeing the two of them kiss, I went with little resistance. The soft brush of lips made my breath catch, and I couldn’t help but lean into the kiss, letting myself respond the way my unconscious brain had wanted to when I’d woken up earlier.
I could feel Harry’s hand settle on my back, and pulled away, though I looked at Blaise for a moment before turning back to Harry. “I thought…” I sighed, then leaned in and kissed him softly. “What changed?”
His arms went around my waist. “Before this, he was just…another bloke from school. One that you were especially close to. I didn’t know him, Draco.” He turned to Blaise, then smiled. “He’s more, now. Living here with us, having supper with him every night…spending a day with him and me helped, too. And when I saw him watching us last night…”
It took a moment for the meaning of what Harry said to sink in, but when it did, my eyes went huge. “You what?” I turned to Blaise. “You were watching us?”
Blaise didn’t look abashed in the least. He just smiled and nodded. “Beautiful,” he said, his hand stroking lightly over my hair.
Flabbergasted, I turned back to Harry. “And…that doesn’t make you angry?” I asked him softly.
“No. At first I was surprised, and then worried—that seeing it would upset him. But he didn’t seem upset. And then I realized I was worried about upsetting him. I’ve been thinking about it all day, Draco. It’s not something I would ever have considered. But even though he just seemed a guest at first, someone who would be here for just a little while, he’s not any more. And…” He glanced at Blaise. “He and I talked just now. He’s not who I expected.” He flushed slightly. “And he is very attractive. How could I not want to see if this would work?”
It was a lot to comprehend. But even as I listened, I knew this was what I wanted. The three of us. Together. I turned to Blaise. “And you want this, too?” I asked him.
“Yes.” Was there any possible way to be more simply elegant?
With a smile, I kissed him again, then stood up. “Well? Come on. We can’t do this out here. Not if we want to be comfortable.” My smile widened into a grin as I made my way out of the room, knowing the two of them were following me. Once I’d made my way the room, I stood just inside the door and waited for them to join me.
Harry’s hand was on the small of Blaise’s back when they entered, and I smiled as I watched the two of them exchange glances before turning to me. “Well?” I asked. “We can’t do this clothed, surely?” An answering grin appeared on Blaise’s face, and he stepped forward and began to unbutton my shirt. Harry watched as we undressed each other, and I couldn’t help but be pleased that Blaise’s appetite had kept him from staying the skin-and-bones he had been when he arrived.
When we turned to Harry, he was just watching us, bemused. “Do you two have any idea of how gorgeous you look together?” he asked, sounding a bit dazed.
We grinned at each other, then advanced on him, Blaise’s golden hands working with my own pale to unwrap Harry so that we could cover him with lips and caresses and drive him mad. We ended up on the bed in a tangle of limbs, kisses and touches. I couldn’t get enough of either of them. If I couldn’t be kissing one, I wanted to kiss the other, and when the two of them kissed, I focused on their necks and nipples and anything else I could reach.
After a moment, I pulled back, watching as my two lovers kissed—mine, a very happy voice inside me cried—and realized that for this first time, this needed to be about Blaise. I stroked my hand gently over Blaise’s back until he pulled away from Harry to look at me. “Tell us what you want, love,” I told him. “What would make you happiest?”
He looked at me for a long moment, then settled between us, his back to Harry as he faced me, though he looked over his shoulder at Harry. “In me?” he asked softly.
Harry’s eyes met mine, and I leaned over Blaise’s shoulder to kiss him. “Can you reach the lube?” I asked.
He smiled, then nodded, shifting to reach the drawer we kept it in before opening it and slicking up his fingers.
I was about to turn onto my side as well, so that Blaise could do the same to me, but he caught me by the waist and pulled me close, then took my hand and tugged it gently to where our cocks sat nestled together. I smiled, then closed my fingers around us, leaning in to kiss him and catching the soft gasp that escaped him when Harry’s fingers pressed into him.
We kissed softly, relearning each other as Harry stretched him. My strokes stayed light and slow, because I didn’t want us to come until Harry had had a chance to press inside him, even though just being here with both of them was making it harder to think, my whole body aching for more touch, more kisses, more of those wonderful gasps that Blaise was making.
Finally, Harry pressed forward into Blaise with a groan, and Blaise’s whole body arched towards me, though his head fell back onto Harry’s shoulder. The two of them kissed as I watched, and I couldn’t help but speed up my hand as I did. They were truly beautiful together, my two lovers. And that thought all on its own had me moaning and leaning in to lick at one of Blaise’s nipples, wanting to drive him completely out of his head.
It didn’t take much. Blaise’s gasps and moans were driving us all mad, and it wasn’t more than a few minutes before Blaise came, his cock pulsing and sputtering against mine, and drawing a moan from Harry as he tightened around him. I kissed him softly, then leaned over his shoulder and kissed Harry as my hand sped up, sliding easier now that I was coated with Blaise’s come. I could feel Blaise’s lips on my neck as we kissed, and it was only a moment before it was too much for me, and I cried out, climaxing against Blaise, then curling against him and panting.
Harry thrust roughly into Blaise a few strokes more before he, too, came, collapsing against Blaise, his arms curling around us both. “God,” he huffed softly.
“Are you okay, love?” I asked him, reaching out to stroke sweaty hair from his face.
He nodded, opening his eyes and smiling at me. “That was…amazing.”
“It was,” Blaise agreed.
We turned to him, and for some reason, that was the moment it hit me—this was the first time he’d been with anyone since what my father had done to him. “Are you…”
He reached up to stroke my cheek. “I’m fine, Draco. Just overwhelmed. I never thought he’d share you with me.” He turned to look at Harry. “Let alone want me himself, once I realized I wanted that, too.”
I might have been shocked by the words themselves if I hadn’t been so overwhelmed by one other fact. “Blaise? I thought…”
“That I couldn’t talk? I couldn’t. Any time I tried to string together more than a couple of words, it felt like someone was trying to strangle me.” He looked down, and I pulled him into a hug, Harry’s arms joining mine around him. “It was a spell,” Blaise whispered. “One that would only dissipate when you and I had sex, Draco.” He looked up at me again.
A flash of anger shot through me. “Father.”
Blaise nodded. “Yeah. He…invited me to the Manor in your name. Then he said he had a proposition for me. He wanted me to separate the two of you. Not sure how he found out, but he used that really controlled voice he gets when he’s angry. And when I tried to politely decline his ‘offer,’ he hexed me.”
He shivered, and I glanced at Harry, who looked both angry and sad at once. Our eyes met. This was obviously part of why Blaise had first reacted the way he had to Harry. But had it just been the spell?
“So…he locked you up and hoped you would change your mind?” I asked cautiously.
Blaise didn’t bother showing what he thought of that stupid question. He just shook his head. “Oh, no. He had a very specific plan of how to convince me,” he said in a low, eerie tone I’d never heard him use in all the time we’d known each other. “And at first I knew it was him. But…he kept on, and it got so hard to remember…” Blaise clung to me, and I found I had trouble swallowing the bile that rose in me. Even without the words, I knew what my father must have done.
“Polyjuice?” Harry asked him.
Blaise shook his head. “Glamour. I knew it wasn’t you…either of you. The first time.” His eyes slid closed, and I could never recall hating my father more than I had in that moment. “He…would come into the room…looking like Harry…He wanted me to hate you,” he said, meeting Harry’s eyes. “And it infuriated him when I called him by name. Then he’d leave, and return looking like you, love,” he said, his eyes turning to me. His hand came up to touch my cheek. “And I knew it wasn’t you, but…He’d hold me. Tell me everything would be all right if we could just be together. And after the first few times, I just needed it so badly…”
Never before had I wanted to hurt someone so much. But even if he had been alive, it would not have changed what had happened to Blaise. And right now, I wanted to focus on him.
Apparently Harry felt the same way. “Well, he can’t hurt you any more.” He brushed a strand of hair from Blaise’s face. “You’re safe with us. But…” He glanced at me, and I knew he was wondering what I was. “I…thought they’d blocked the memories?”
Blaise closed his eyes, and he was shaking now. “Fuck…” Harry and I pressed against him, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was about to react as he had that day in the hospital. “I…they did. At first it worked. But seeing you…both of you…” He looked at us. “It…they came back. But I could remember, again. That it hadn’t been you, I mean.” He was looking just at Harry, now. “Just Lucius using your face.”
It takes a lot to get Harry truly furious. Sure, he had his rages, and once he was angry, watch out, but he’d learned a lot about how to control his temper in the past year. So the sight of the furious look on his face sent shivers down my spine. “Well, he can’t ever do it again,” he said, the growl in his voice obvious. “His spell backfired. For the same reason that Voldemort lost. You’re ours now. Whatever the reason. And we’re not letting you go.”
Blaise looked stunned. “You…really mean that?”
The look of utter relief on Blaise’s face was almost too much for me to bear, and I hugged him tightly. “Yes. You’re home,” I told him softly. He shivered, and I shot a glance at Harry, hoping that would be the extent of his anger. He managed to smile at me, then nodded at Blaise.
Blaise was ours. Whether his experiences with my father had made him so or whether it had been his time here with the two of us that had made him that way, I didn’t care. So long as it was what the three of us wanted.
He shook for several minutes before calming, then his gaze moved from me to Harry where we curled around him protectively. “I…knew that the spell was meant to bond me to Draco. That I’d…be ‘cured’ as soon as he and I made love.” His eyes met Harry’s. “I’d hoped that if the three of us…that it would still break the charm, and I would be free to find my own way.”
There was a flare of pain in my chest at that, and I couldn’t help but tighten my grip possessively around him. That he could even think of leaving us after this… His hand came up to stroke my back, and he smiled softly and reassuringly at me. “I never imagined…never let myself hope…that the two of you would want me to stay.”
Harry smiled. “How could we not, Blaise? I meant what I said to Draco. You might have been close to him before, but you’ve come to be important to me, too. And I’ve lost too many people in my life to let go when I find someone to care for. Stay. Be with us.”
Blaise turned to look at me again, and I smiled and nodded. “Please.”
“I will, then,” Blaise said with a smiled and a nod.
I smiled, my arms going to embrace them both. Perhaps my father had intended to separate me from Harry, but instead, he’d helped me regain something I had lost. Before it had just been Harry and I against the world. But now we were even stronger. Because now we were three.