I winced slightly when he started blurting and spluttering. I would have laughed had this been any other moment, because it really was funny to see how much of a light weight he was. But I didn't feel much like laughing all of a sudden. He was putting me in a very uncomfortable position with his confessions. It made my heart flutter and soar, no doubt, but it made my inner turmoil that much worse. It was like I couldn't deny him anything. I could be mean, yes, and I could probably still be a bit selfish, but if he asked me to stay with him... I don't think I'd have the strength to say no. The power of the imprint was way too strong, even for me.
I guess I was starting to understand where Sam was coming from. Damnit all.
"Don't you see, though?" My voice sounded far off as I dazed at the bottle in my hand, absently trying to peel off the label, "That's exactly why this is absolute shit. Because we didn't have a choice. Not that you aren't great, Jake," I tried to correct myself, truly wanting to be as careful with my words as I could, "But we never got a chance to figure things out on our own. Don't you think that would have been better than being force fed this mushy lovey dovey crap?"
I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince now. Him, or myself. This made me sigh, and I leaned my head back against the tree, looking up into the forest sky as gentle rays of light filtered through the branches. Maybe it didn't matter. Maybe I didn't have to fight this. Maybe I could succumb to my destiny, and maybe I'd finally find happiness and wholeness. All I knew was that I was tired. So, so tired. "... or maybe it is better this way. I don't know..."