return text;
» Oh, I'm making a few suggestions. Trust me, the only way he'll get tupperware is if the girls completely ignore my years of party throwing expertise. Which they, you know, might, but. Whatever. I can pull hilarious irresponsibility out of nowhere, it's kind of my superpower. » Don't worry about it, I judge me too. » By the way, as my best friend, it's your responsibility to pull me out if things ever start going babies-and-a-cul-de-sac. Just, like, fyi. » But yeah, it's kind of fantastic. Waking up in the same bed every morning, it's a thing. Who knew.