It was a guilt he would always live with, even if he would maintain his silence on it. Talking it over didn’t gain him anything, even perspective. His intentions had always been honorable enough with her. It was trying to keep her safe which had put her into danger. The other side of the coin was that Gabriel’s obsession with Andrew had been what inevitably led to his capture. If he had indeed taken Melisande from the false coven, without Andrew in her life, things could have been worse. That was, of course, a subjective word… Either way, in the end the best he could do was try to make the good in her life outweigh the bad. He had a lot to compensate for, but he did well to take it one day at a time.
“Ah, well. There you go. If anyone can keep him in line, she’s probably got me beat.” The dynamics were different, of course. He wasn’t controlling Audric in the least. It was courtesy that kept him in line, which was admittedly a rare thing to earn from Palais. They had their spats, but for the most part the two got along well. Another rarity for Audric without the use of his power.
“Am I standoffish?” he teased, mirroring her earlier head tilt. “Mostly, yeah. Honestly, you’re kind of veered away from letting people get very close. We’re really close-knit with those who are close to us, but it takes a lot to get there. And I guess I’m like that too in a different kind of way. Talking to violent strangers in some park isn’t the same as letting someone in. That took a lot of time for both of us.”
It had probably been a blessing as well. It kept either from pushing the other too fast and scaring them off for good. “She didn’t seem like she was ready to open up to the possibility of being wrong. Which is bizarre to me. After I left, after I lost faith in it all… It took a lot to have faith in anything. It was all this forced kind of desperation. This is how I am supposed to live my life, you know? I didn't really accept that I shouldn't be ashamed of not having all the answers until I came here."