He continued along that same line of thought. No one could compel him to marry outside his own choosing, but had Sidonie’s mother accepted him, he would have essentially been given to the young Queen before she ever took the throne. He hadn’t ever minded the idea back then. A position of power and a pretty young bride who adored him—what was to argue with? He hadn’t been wise enough to consider the commitment of it seriously, and he hadn’t yet realized what power truly meant. “I would wager it is fathers who say that. She has her moments of rebellion, but she is an easier child than many I have seen. I look forward to seeing how she takes to you. At least she will be spared the obligation of serving her family name in that way. It will demand enough of her. It already does, I suppose.”
They had an image to maintain, and even at her young age, Mikino impressed the importance upon the girl. “If I had it my way, which I trust I shall not, she would be a bit more like you and send them on their way.”
It was not those little moments stolen in the gardens that worried him—it was seeing her taken from his household. Of course, her name was a strong one, and it may well work the other way around.
“It is worth remembering.” He fought back a smile, turning an incredulous glance her way instead. “I learned from it, if nothing else. You never seemed particularly charmed.”
She won a laugh outright and he straightened to back away from the railing. “Discovery. What a lovely spin you have put on it. You would do better here than you think. You have the mind for it. You are not passive, but you have never had the tendency to be especially brash either. You do not think yourself above the game simply because you haven’t the knack for it, the way our Northern Lord does. I have always admired that in you, though I find it frustrating as well. You have such potential at court, and yet you choose somewhat else for yourself.” It fascinated him because he could not truly imagine another life. He had talked about such things with Melinda once, but there had never been any serious consideration on his part. This was life. “You back down, but not because you fear losing. And I can tell you do not enjoy this. The elaborate dresses and the eyes on you... Yet I have never heard you complain. Not in earnest. It is no wonder I have always pursued you."
Back then, he could not have put that attraction into words. As far as he was concerned, it was a preference for the fair complexion and golden hair more than any admiration for who she was beneath it all. Even if that affection had existed, for surely it had begun somewhere, it was not a thing he would have recognized. Melinda had been his first taste of love, and of sacrifice. Shayleiah had made him understand what it was to love unselfishly. Being a father marked the first time in his life where he felt all his influence was not the most important thing in the world to him.