Shimmer (batfish_crazy) wrote in birthrightrpg, @ 2020-10-14 05:15:00 |
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Entry tags: | shimmer |
Phanuel's Telephonic Riches
Who: Shimmer.
When: Following this scene.
Where: Searchlight, Phanuel's trailer.
What: Shimmer takes a dump all over her new friend's front yard. Of the technological variety.
It hadn't been long since Shimmer had not only made contact with Searchlight's resident alcoholic cosmic power, but proceeded to alternately charm and relentlessly campaign the angelic rebel into accepting her personal friendship.
Shimmer was not, after all, like most people. More accurately, she wasn't like mortal humans, at all. Where she came from, it had been an honoured position of ethereal duties to a high-level being, only sometimes putting in an appearance on Earth and liaising with humanity. Phanuel had been the closest presence Shimmer had associated with that existence and, for this reason, had been determined to do as she said and convince Phanuel to see things differently. Maybe even see this world, one planet of countless others, the way she did.
But to achieve that would require the one thing Shimmer had needed to take some time to figure out a relevant solution for. Namely, communication.
Therefore, very much regarding her voluntary pursuit of servicing assistance to her angelic friend of paramount importance, little things like human law were trivial by comparison. Quite how she came by so many... Devices, perhaps not even Shimmer, herself, could reliably recall. Or at least, wasn't going to voluntarily own up to. What mattered was that just about every kind of telephonic device imaginable was transported via commandeered vehicle and tipped over Phanuel's front yard.
There was no ribbon large enough to wrap around the haphazard dumping, so, instead, Shimmer had thoughtfully liberated a signpost and repurposed it, so that a cheery little message was now written across it via a combination of spray-can and black marker. The resulting arrangement was then hammered into the ground, not far away from the trailer's entrance, with big arrows pointing to the small mountain of sprawling hardware.
'Lo, great Phanuel! Majestic Mistress of the high seas, Luscious Lady of the stratosphere and Bountiful Brilliance of the Earth!
(This part is you.)
It is I, your humble being in friendship, Shimmer! I bring thee gifts, out of the goodness of my fluid-pumper!
(This part is me. Hi!)
Did you know you can reach out to souls, lowly and magnificent? It's true! I do it regularly! To this end, I have located for you a shitload of divining tools! Isn't that awesome?! You've got thirty different Blackberrys, fifty pagers and I even found some novelty landline telephones. I got real lucky and found some old Garfield ones from the 1980s! Can you believe they were just throwing them away?!
Also, car phones.
And I found all these mobiles, too! Most are in Korean, but at least a quarter are in German. I couldn't find the instruction manuals.
I got some vintage AOL CD-ROMs! This is the shit! You can get on the information superhighway now! Watch out, Compuserve and Oracle, because here you come!
Didn't know if you had a computer. Threw in a bunch of old calculators, if that helps?
There is a 100% genuine smartwatch!!!!!
(Might be broken. The display doesn't move, but I think that's because it's a sticker. Someone probably knows how to fix it.)
There's a smartphone. I had a choice of different models and said you wanted the iPhone 1 - no substitutes! Because you are number one! It was sooo cheap! Joke's on them, buddy! They must be really rare, because nobody has them in shops now.
There weren't any of those special old lady gloves for touching the screen when it's cold weather. I got you oven mittens, instead. They're in there, somewhere.
ENJOY!
PS: This attached brown envelope has SIM cards. You need to jam them in. Like keys.
PPS: The black bag contains rechargers. I don't know which devices they're linked to. Some of the plug shapes look weird. Look upon this investigation as your very own personal detective mystery!'