Phanuel (phanuel) wrote in birthrightrpg, @ 2020-09-16 16:49:00 |
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Entry tags: | ~phanuel |
Don't Fuck with Mister Zero
Who: Phanuel
What: Spoilers
When: Present
Where: Her Trailer
Ratings: Language
In the past week, the vines had grown and stretched to encompass her trailer, and was intent on keeping her indoors. They’d even started invading the water pipes, coming up through the kitchen drain and tub.
Tired as she was of the omnipresent hangover, Phanuel attempted the ridiculous -- to turn her tap water into wine. When that didn’t work, she blessed it.
It tasted like you’d expect holy water to taste.
She spat it out into the sink.
The vine hissed, smoked. Withered.
A moment of clarity.
Phanuel dove into her closet and dug through her wardrobe, looking for her Hallowe’en costume from twenty sixteen.
She climbed into a tan jumpsuit, replete with orange caution tape, and a “Venkmann” badge on her chest. The Angel filled up the super soaker with tap water.
Exorcizo te, creatura aquæ, in nomine Dei Patris omnipotentis, et in nomine Jesu Christi, Filii ejus Domini nostri, et in virtute Spiritus Sancti: ut fias aqua exorcizata ad effugandam omnem potestatem inimici, et ipsum inimicum eradicare et explantare valeas cum angelis suis apostaticis, per virtutem ejusdem Domini nostri Jesu Christi: qui venturus est judicare vivos et mortuos et sæculum per ignem. Deus, qui ad salutem humani generis maxima quæque sacramenta in aquarum substantia condidisti: adesto propitius invocationibus nostris, et elemento huic, multimodis purificationibus præparato, virtutem tuæ benedictionis infunde; ut creatura tua, mysteriis tuis serviens, ad abigendos dæmones morbosque pellendos divinæ gratiæ sumat effectum; ut quidquid in domibus vel in locis fidelium hæc unda resperserit careat omni immunditia, liberetur a noxa. Non illic resideat spiritus pestilens, non aura corrumpens: discedant omnes insidiæ latentis inimici; et si quid est quod aut incolumitati habitantium invidet aut quieti, aspersione hujus aquæ effugiat: ut salubritas, per invocationem sancti tui nominis expetita, ab omnibus sit impugnationibus defensa. Per Dominum, amen.
A heavy foot slammed against the screen door. She’d pay someone to fix it later. Besides, who’d be stupid enough to try and loot from the Face of God?
Shake. Pump.
“Yipeekaiyay, motherfucker!”
It took thirty minutes, and five refills.
There was only one person she could think of who'd pull a stunt like this.
Shake. Pump.
"I'm coming for you, Elfleda."