Rhiannon Lee (rhiannon_lee) wrote in birthrightrpg, @ 2020-09-05 19:41:00 |
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Entry tags: | rhiannon lee |
For Cian
Who: Rhiannon
What: An excerpt from a journal
When: During full moon
Where: Left at Cottonwood Cove
Ratings: N/A
As long as I can remember,
everything I felt that was of any consequence
I kept to myself.
When there was no more room in my body,
I spilled it onto a page and
that’s where it stayed,
tight within the covers of a book or painted thin on canvas.
If that didn’t work, I tucked it into a fist and hit,
making myself bloody
until I felt like a shell,
hard and empty and waiting.
It never lasted long.
The more I didn’t want to care, the more I always did.
But what if I didn’t do that this time?
What if I gave it to him?
It’s impossible to think of living that way--
an exposed nerve--
but right now it feels like there’s
nothing strong enough to contain me:
That the person I’m becoming
and the things I feel for him
have no end.
When I think of him, love rises in me.
I close my eyes and I feel a rush,
a sense that part of me is leaving,
that it’s growing beyond its bounds,
and I know that it’s my heart going to meet him.