Stop Looking at My Wings Who: Phanuel, Shimmer What: Delivery! Where: Phanuel’s Trailer, Searchlight When: Before ‘White Hats Assemble’ Ratings/Warnings: Low
Sealed brown envelopes, huh? Shimmer knew something on the download, when she saw it. And downlow equalled... Cash? Favours? Industrial espionage secrets? Shimmer wasn't quite sure which, but when James had reinforced the need to be careful with them, she had just given an exaggerated wink and... Oh. She was given one, herself, too.
Whatever could it be about?
Well, no time to waste! Shimmer will deliver! Sadly, Celeste wasn't in, but Shimmer made sure the girl would understand to keep her message private, because she got out a red pen and started adding her own flourishes to the envelope. Namely, in the form of skulls and crossbones, biohazard signs and things like, 'DO NOT OPEN THIS WITH PEOPLE LOOKING AT YOU!' and 'THIS ONLY CONTAINS A VERY BORING TAX STATEMENT'. Then, remembering humans liked to be reassured of their safety, she made sure to also add, 'THIS DEFINITELY DOESN'T CONTAIN ANTHRAX OR ANY OTHER TOXIC SUBSTANCE'.
That one had lots of smiling cartoon faces and hearts placed around it.
With that done, she was heading to... Oh. Searchlight. Town of sand and angry tentacle monsters with major bladder issues. Shudder. And... 'Phanuel'? Was that a typo? No last name? Huh! Well, no fear, because Shimmer was a chipper little orb and made sure to head out on the next available mode of transport she could secure.
"Phanuel... Phanuel... Daniel?"
She was pronouncing it in all sorts of ways. The Latin soap opera version was her favourite, but what if it was Daniel? And what if he'd be super-offended at not being addressed in a friendly way? Like Dan? Or Danny? What if-
But before her train of thought could get completely derailed, shimmer realised she was there, standing in front of a... The double-wide trailer wasn't a surprise, but the Christmas lights were. Were they powered? It was difficult to tell in the daylight, but Shimmer hoped they were, because just leaving them hanging up out of laziness didn't gel very much with the mental image she had in her mind of the trailer's occupant.
She banged on the door, shouting out, "Delivery!"
If there was no reply within ten seconds, Shimmer was readying the pneumatic air horn at her disposal. She had recently discovered that helped enormously with getting people to open doors for her.
Someone was going to suffer a horrible, lingering death.
A plague of locusts, maybe. Or bees. Bees would be fun.
That would explain the constant buzzing in her ears.
“Oh God,” Phanuel moaned as she stirred from her bed. “That lingering death would be mine.”
Wait. She was in bed. How the hell did she get home, let alone in bed?
’Penny, don’t. Move.’ That was her last coherent memory. She didn’t even know if the exorcism had worked. Phanuel would have to look up Hutchins, or Mitchell, and find out. Also, to enquire as to how she’d gotten home, and why her wings were exposed.
The Angel wrapped herself in a duvet, despite the desert heat. She didn’t have time to wrap her wings to her torso, assuming the delivery person was the impatient type. She stumbled to the door and peered through the mesh netting.
“I didn’t order anything from Amazon.”
“Nuh-uh! We’re better! We’re Curio… Si… ties…”
It wasn’t so much the wings which caused Shimmer to get a half-love-at-first-sight look in her eyes, it was the sensation. Like someone had just dumped her in one of those massage chairs and dialled it up to full-blast. Shimmer might solidify a physical form for environmental interaction, but this was essentially two powerful sources of magical energy intersecting into one another’s auras and the brunette was giving a half-cocked smile and fluttering, “Heheheheh!”
Oh, that tickled!
“Ya’ got wings,” Shimmer observed in a drunken-sounding Beavis-and-Butthead snigger. A finger raising at the angelic Phanuel as she said so, before remembering herself and… Nope. No good. Shimmer had to double over in a guffaw of laughter, weakly holding out the envelope for Phanuel’s reception.
“James is… Is all human-y…! And we’re… We’re… We’re not!”
It was the best cosmic joke Shimmer had heard in ages! Or maybe it was just the mood she was now locked into. Whatever it was, she liked it!
“Goddammit.” She hadn’t wrapped the duvet properly and now this … person got a full glimpse of her wings. Luckily she was still wearing the same clothes from last night. It would be most regrettable if she’d been seen naked.
“Oh these? They’re a … costume.” Phanuel was a lousy liar.
’Wait a minute.’ “Human-y? In other words, you’re not--” She’d completely forgotten about the brown envelope the other woman carried. That explained the constant buzz in her ears. The courier’s aura was vibrating.
“What are you?”
Maybe an angelic being really was outputting that much power, even passively. Or maybe it had something to do with how Shimmer, a member of already intuitive beings, had found that aspect of herself ramped up massively, following the incident which had led her to an existence in this realm. Whatever it was, the mystical brunette seemed to be aggressively smoothing her clothing down. In truth, an attempt to try and fluff out the way her aura was reacting so energetically.
“Stop it… Stop it… Stopitstopitstopit!”
It was like watching someone react to being tickled by an unseen ghost, complete with ripples of laughter, but after another shudder, the courier tried extending the envelope Phanuel’s way, again.
Albeit, with another burst of impulsive chuckling.
“I-I-I’m a… Y’know a…” Hehehee! “You gotta’ watch it with that big ole’ nuclear generator, there! Hooo...!”
Then, just as Shimmer, herself, began to physically glow a little, she gave a little yelp of alarm and growled with effort, sounding like a puppy doing its best to keep ahold of its favourite ball.
“Wow, almost lost it,” she cryptically excused. Then swished back hair and shook the envelope visibly, hoping Phanuel would take it. “I’d shake hands, but I might open up a black hole or something… I’m Shimmer! I guess we’re both of the… Higher planes, sort of thing? You’re, uh… You’re not a constellation in disguise, are you?”
The buzzing got louder; her wings fought to fully unfurl. And if she wasn’t so … hungover wasn’t the word … drained from the exorcism, Phanuel would notice herself begin to glow ever so softly.
“Not a constellation,” the blonde replied. “Higher plane, yes.” Phanuel took hold of the envelope from the shaking girl. She looked about to ensure no one was about to pop out with a camera crew in tow. “Angel.”
A look of consternation overcame her. “Wait, is this a message from my Father? Did he send you? I get that he might be pissed over last night, but--”
That time, Shimmer’s eyes widened like saucers, mouth hung loosely and she was doing an excellent impression of a really excited hooked fish. It wasn’t as though there was a naive taking things at face value. She could see the wings and, more importantly, feel what was radiating off of the being before her.
Which meant, with guard lowering, Shimmer’s own glow was beginning to flow off her like a woman-shaped lightbulb. Something she began to comprehend and, startled, dulled down the illumination.
“Oh! Uh… Well, I… Could be? I mean, this is what I do now, but… Oh...! Wow! He never told me!”
Two plus two had just equalled five within Shimmer’s mind and she was about to write down a verbal fifteen.
“James is your dad! That’s so cool! Did he impregnate your mom at a nether-realm orgy? Because those can get way out of hand and, like, everyone gets invited! This one time? There was this rabbit-worshipping cult and they accidentally strummed the wrong note on a lyre while reciting the… Well, you know how that can go! Before you know it, the bunny’s grown ten feet tall and it’s jumpin’ around, trying to hump the priestesses and, whew! That was before things really got out of hand!”
“No. Wait, what?! No!”
Trying to keep up with... how did she introduce herself? Right. Shimmer. Trying to keep up with Shimmer was like dealing with a five year-old after eating three pieces of cake, five bars of chocolate AND chasing that down with a jug of chocolate milk. “Hutchins is not my Father. I am an Angel of the Lord, and I’m certain there was no nether-realm orgy in Heaven that gave birth to us.”
“I’m not sure who or what you are, and I definitely need a drink before you explain it to me. You might as well join me.” Phanuel opened the trailer door to let the courier in.
"Oh... Well... Maybe you weren't told about it and... It just sort of... Happened?"
It was Shimmer trying to square a circle. Her reply had been meek and uncertain with a slow, one-shouldered shrug for good measure. No wonder Phanuel then decreed a need for alcohol was necessary, which immediately perked up the former handmaiden's attention. Her head reverse-tilted back and watchful eyes darted around the, surely, palace-like interior of this majestic holy being's...
Abode.
Magazines, clothing, dirty dishes - it was a haphazard mess of a place.
"Dude... This should be where you guys fear to tread, never mind live in. Don't you have relatives who come to stay? Some little Nephilim who's running around Utah, asking around for Aunt Phanny?"
And Shimmer clumped down on the nearest available horizontal space, scratching her head.
"So, you're... A full-on angel? Like... A child of the Source? Lord..." And she squinted, trying to mentally recollect through ancient wisdom, before taking a nose-dive into the 1970s. "Darth Vader...? Wait, no, that's..." Then she flapped her hands clear of the confusion and beamed a big, friendly smile. "No, I get it! It's... Homely? Kinda'... I knew this tortoise deity who set up home on a river. At least you've got plumbing."
Phanuel tossed the envelope on top of several magazines before rummaging through several cupboards, finally coming upon a bottle of tequila. If she was gonna feel this shitty, she preferred to have a reason.
“Full-on,” the Angel replied. “From the Man upstairs. The whole ‘thou shalt not worship any gods before me’.” Her Father didn’t deny the existence of other gods, he just demanded top billing.
Tequila in hand, she fished out two glasses from the sink and rinsed them off with hot water (she assumed it was hot, Phanuel was late with her water bill this month). Two fingers high, each glass was poured, and one offered to Shimmer.
“No one visits me, or hardly anyone visits,” she continued. “Though you wouldn’t know it lately.”
The buzzing subsided slightly as she took a drink; whether that was the tequila working it’s magic or Shimmer had turned down her own otherworldly knob from eleven, it was unknown.
“Who the fuck are you, anyway? I don’t think I’ve met your kind before.”
There were many unexpected facets to this meeting, but one of them happened to be the status Phanuel occupied. Something the angelic hermit didn’t seem too preoccupied with exploring, if interaction with others were anything to go by, but Shimmer? Shimmer did have an interest in it. A substantial one, as it happened.
“Well… I would?”
The tone was as helpful and honest. Shimmer wasn’t exactly looking up with puppy dog eyes, but she was genuine. Mostly because of what she typically did before setting up on Earth. It was also the same reason why she took the alcoholic beverage without even seeming to question it.
“It wasn’t an angel, but… Before coming here,” Shimmer indicated with a drawing of invisible circles around herself, ”on, like a permanent basis? I was… I suppose you’d call it a handmaiden? For this higher-level deity. It was quite the honour! We were…” Then Shimmer squinted, trying to remember and, unfortunately, not quite succeeding. “There was this… Accident. With a magical doohickey. And I got all doohickey-ed up in my face and… I wasn’t quite able to do my duties and, blah-blah-blah… Ooh! Like Satan! Except, not evil? Or even wanting domination over the heavenly realms? So… Maybe not like Satan? Just… Anyway! They’re waiting for me to… ‘Come back to my senses’,” she added with quotation marks and a brief change of voice. “And I got asked where I’d like to go, so… Earth! I think they’d call me a nymph around here, but… I mean, it’s not the most accurate term, but…”
Oh, she was rambling. Going off-tangent, again. It frustrated the little nymph-alike, it surely did. Here she was, pretty much proving to the angel why she had been given leave, even as she explained it. Talk about cosmic humiliation.
“See! I can’t even just say ‘nymph’! Ooh, Shimmer! You’re not even focused on the gravitational impact of your inner harmony!” She mocked through internal dialogue. “Well, duh! And then James throws red powder at me!”
With that, Shimmer suddenly downed the tequila.
And immediately began spluttering.
Phanuel didn’t even know where to begin.
Shimmer -- an apt name, given her glowy presence, since dimmed, and her personality spewed a word salad all over the Angel and left her to mop it up, metaphorically. “I… think I understand,” she uttered, with a slight nod of her head. “And as we’re being so… upfront about things,” the blonde took a sip of her own drink, “I walked away from Heaven a long time ago for … reasons.” A sigh. “Reasons being I disagreed with how humanity was being shepherded. Or wasn’t, depending on the situation.”
“And clearly you’ve never drunk tequila before.” Phanuel couldn’t help but laugh at the poor girl. “Wait, why did Hutchins throw red powder at you?”
“I usually…” Cough! “Just take…” Gag! “Water!”
With that in mind, Shimmer eyed the resulting contents of her glass and decided to take it anyway, if only out of either spite or a vague hope it might be different with adjustment.
It wasn’t.
With a toddler-like bleargh, Shimmer stuck her tongue out, wagging it from side to side with a vicious shake of head. Her entire body shuddering, bunching her shoulders up. That was one liquid which didn’t play fair!
“Well, you know humans - ever the contradiction. Make this big deal about seeing far and wide, but only have visual acuity in one frequency. In both eyes, too! How does that even work?!” Shrugging off her own rhetorical question, Shimmer continued. “He got suspicious, basically - wanted to make sure I wasn't tall, dark and growly. And they’re always so mistrusting, so… Couldn’t have just asked me. I almost bear maced him... Still think I should’ve.”
Then she scratched her head. And then banged her head with the same hand. Because absorbing that drink was making her feel weird.
“So, we both volunteered to stick around here? But you wanted to because it was… Smack in the middle of a mess you disagreed with?”
Shimmer wasn’t judging, but the logic of it was disconnecting with her. Hence, the look of puzzlement.
Phanuel tried to take it all in; she really did. But this woman was… challenging. Like a Chinese finger puzzle. Once you relaxed and stopped struggling, everything freed up.
So the Angel did what she did best. She drank. The glass, now empty, was filled again. She waved the bottle at the courier, in case her ’bleargh’ could be overwritten.
“Let’s focus on one thing at a time. I’m here because… there’s an energy to this place.” Phanuel waved her hand, the drink slooshing about in the tumbler. “Haven’t felt anything like it in centuries. Thought at first it might be related to home. Now I’m confident it isn’t. But I don’t know what it is, and I don’t like not knowing. But as long as it doesn’t blow up the planet. As much as I don’t like humanity as a whole, there are people I’d rather not see get incinerated.”
The Angel took a swig of tequila, smacking her lips after the burn in her throat subsided. “I’m betting you were drawn here for the same reason.”
“Oh, actually, I’m here because-!”
But, with despair of her own scattershot manner of communicating fresh in mind, Shimmer reeled it in and made a more diplomatic slow nod, smiling. “I getcha’,” she agreed. “It’s not why I made a stop, but I know what you mean. It’s different. Like someone stuck a vibrator inside a wet sponge.”
Uh-huh! Yep! That was a good description! Or maybe it was more of a… Well, no, that would be good enough for now. And Shimmer decided to stick her tongue inside the empty glass, like a giraffe trying to get ahold of leaves just a little out of reach. Huh. Maybe it was best to leave that, for now, she decided and placed it down on the nearest surface which wasn’t already occupied by… Well, stuff.
“Sooo!” And Shimmer wrapped arms around a leg, bringing it up to her chest, like a teenager trying to do yogic meditation. “I’ve got questions! Do I need to do some kind of ritual, now I’ve stepped through your threshold? Ooh, you said hardly anyone goes here! Am I your first? Did I deflower your shrine?” Shimmer eagerly queried with wide-eyes wonder. “A-a-and if you take a dump, does that mean it’s literally holy shit?! Did he write down your name right? Is it pronounced Phan-well, like a Spanish waiter? Or-or-or is it - can I call you Phanny? I’mma’ call you Phanny! Can I see your wings or is that like flashing someone?!”
Questions, questions! She had so many questions!
’“A-a-and if you take a dump, does that mean it’s literally holy shit?!’ Okay, the Angel had to admit. That was amusing.
“It’s pronounced fan-ooo-EL and if you call me Phanny once more, I will literally smite you.” The Angel was a lousy liar; thank goodness, then, she wasn’t lying. “I’ve had others visit but yes, you are the … first I’ve invited inside and that’s only because I didn’t want to chance anyone else seeing my wings. And no you can’t see them again.”
There was a disappointed, “A-aww… Awwwww…” Then another, “Awww!”
But that third one was also mixed with a big, upwards curving of Shimmer’s smile. “You like me!”
With that, Shimmer did as close to a squealing sound as could be imagined for the likeness of a grown woman, as she shot back up to her feet with uncontrollable energy. There was definitely some of that lapping interchange of energy which was still tickling her, even if she was still trying to adjust to it. Most of the questions had remained unanswered, but the supernatural courier was just giddy with the angel’s presence.
“OK, Phanoooowelll,” she began in a teasing tone, straightening belt in cartoonish fashion. “You know what? Huh? You know what, Mister angel, Sir? Ma’am? Ma’am-Sir? Huh? I think you’re so prickly ‘cause, deep down, you just disproved your own argument… Yeah,that’s right! You’re just like human-people, ‘cause you struck out on your own, like they did. And you want to be all uppity, because if you invited people over, you’d have to admit it’s not so bad!”
Then Shimmer took the likely unprecedented action of actually standing on the table. Or at least, dong her best to scrabble up on it without falling over. Eventually, she made it.
“And I, Shimmer, formerly of… Well, that’s not the important part but… I, Shimmer! Hereby extend my friendship to you, Phanooooooowell! And I’m not even a people, I’m a big flashy light thing! So, it doesn’t count if you tell me not to!”
She was going to regret this. Truly.
But the Angel saw no way out.
It was either get as far away from Searchlight and Shimmer as possible -- which for her, meant going home, wings tucked between her legs -- or…
“Accepted.”
’You did this, didn’t you, Dad? This is my punishment for leaving? Took you a thousand plus years, but you finally found a way to torture me.’
“But ours is a secret friendship. Okay?”
Shimmer made a yay expression and jumped down, immediately adopting a spontaneous I-got-you-to-like-me dance. It was patented and everything.
“I deflowered your shriiine… I got you and you got miiine…! Wooo!”
The improvised jingle would not have been foreign to Celeste, were she there. Shimmer clapped and thrust her arms in the air, then finger-gunned Phanuel with a little shimmying strut backwards.
“Nuh-uh! ‘Cause I’m gonna’ make it so you won’t want it to be! I’mma’ bust you out of the closet, just you see!”
’Maybe home wouldn’t be so bad.’
“Don’t count on it.” Phanuel drained her glass and poured out a third into the tumbler. There wasn’t enough alcohol in the world that could cure this mistake-in-the-making.