Treats don’t fill me up Who: CJ and Steve What: Friday Night Dinner Where: Steve’s Apartment When: Present Ratings/Warnings:
School had returned after the short break over Christmas and New Year's, so it was back to work for CJ. The morning coffee ritual hadn't changed much either, a text to Steve each morning asking for coffee preference which would be hand delivered. A casual onlooker wouldn't have noticed any difference between the two men, just two colleagues chatting before the bell rung, but it was there.
A sly little smile, or the brush of fingers as the coffee was handed over. A secret between the two of them.
It was Wednesday morning when CJ decided it was time to approach the subject, they needed to talk but it definitely wasn't a discussion that could take place at the school. So the suggestion of making dinner on Friday evening was made, no doubt Lily would be happy to see her Uncle CJ
When Friday rolled around they had worked out a time and menu, and after school had finished CJ went shopping at the nearby Trader Joe’s for all the ingredients before heading to Steve and Lily's apartment by the agreed time, trying his best to ignore the butterflies that still seemed to be in his stomach.
“You left Mister Bear on the couch, Lils,” Steve murmured. The little girl laughed, twirling around in her favorite princess costume. A tornado of tulle and cotton. Lily swept up the brown, stuffed bear and danced all the way to her room with the animal in her arms. They couldn’t have pets so she had hoards of toys. Each one was special and had a name, though when she wasn’t paying attention her father collected the ones that went neglected for more than a few weeks and donated them.
Lily was excited about dinner with Uncle CJ. She loved it when he visited, and even though it had been a couple of weeks since the last time was over it felt like an entire age.
Steve tried his best to pick up. Keeping a small apartment clean seemed like an easy feat to an outsider, or perhaps an outsider without a five year old who was pushing free spirited.
Crawling into the little teepee in her room, Lily set Mr. Bear on a pillow on one side of her makeshift tea party. “Keep an eye on Miss Piggy,” Lily whispered to the bear, giving the stuffed, poseable pig toy a side-eyed look. Then the girl scrambled over to her bed to collect her newest favorite - a super old, dusty Beetlejuice stuffed toy that had a pull string and made noise. By now the voice box wasn't more than a groan or a squeak and the head still spun around if you twisted it good enough.
Another glance around at the apartment from Steve and he took a breath of satisfaction at the state of it. At least nobody would be sitting on toys.
Balancing one of the shopping bags the best he could in the grove of an elbow, he knocked on the door, the same rhythm of knocks that he always used, as if to give forewarning of who it was.
CJ was also prepared for the whirlwind that was Lily, never quite sure if she'd come flying out the door to hug him or not. The bags immediately got held out to his sides, just in case.
He also knew that Steve would apologize for the disarray and toys that seemed to appear out of nowhere, not that it ever bothered him, CJ had learned long ago to check the seat before he sat down. Then again there were times when he'd apologize for his own place if Dimitri had made a mess of his enclosure or his outside run. Force of habit.
“Uncle CJ!”
The assumption that she would come shooting out of the apartment like a cannonball was a correct one. With her brown hair flying, clutching her poor doll by the neck, her arms tightened around CJ.
“Lily,” Steve chimed, reaching for the bags to spare his friend the addition of the weight. Lily stepped back though she bounced up and down on bare feet. “Sorry,” Steve sighed, ushering the girl back into the apartment with a hand not holding a surrendered grocery bag.
She twirled across the threshold and rushed off toward her room to set Beetlejuice down at the tea party table.
When the door was closed, Steve did another glance around for any stray toys.
"Lily!" CJ said back as the girl wrapped her arms around him, between the knock and door opening he had crouched down, ready for the incoming hug.
When one of the bags was handed over he gave her a one armed hug before Steve ushered her back inside, he then stood and smiled at his friend as he walked inside.
"It's when she starts ignoring me, that's when I'll worry." CJ said to Steve with a chuckle, walking towards the kitchen to put the bags down, he'd start cooking soon but not right away.
“Oh, she’s already starting to get there,” Steve laughed. Sometimes he swore she was five going on sixteen. He did his best to exert the most patience possible during those times, she was little and learning, but she knew how to dance on the edge of his patience too.
Steve deposited his own bag on the countertop. As soon as they’d gotten home he stressed the importance of cleaning up before their guest arrived for dinner. At least there weren’t dishes in the sink.
Picking up his phone he set the little speakers in the kitchen to play something soft, instrumental, but light.
CJ wouldn't have minded if there were dishes in the sink, he would've done those as well as what he used making and serving dinner, even under protest he always cleaned up after himself.
"At least you're not having to keep the boys away with a shotgun as yet." He joked, voice low so Lily couldn't hear it, he was sure that was every father's fear when it came to their daughters.
When everything was unpacked, and with some soft music playing CJ turned around and smiled at Steve before stepping closer, arms looping around the other man. "Hey."
“Don’t even get me started,” Steve laughed. Thankfully Lily was still in that stage where boys were gross. She played with them and other girls at school, but if he asked her about the boys usually the response was a gagging noise.
At first he was a bit startled by the hug - he scolded himself for it internally - and then relaxed. “Hey.” An arm looped around CJ, catching hold of the other man.
He had been looking forward to dinner, but more the chance to see CJ again outside of work. They did a good job keeping business out of the pleasure part of it which he appreciated.
CJ hoped (for Steve's sake at least) that Lily kept with the 'boys are gross' stage for many more years, remembering his own protectiveness of his younger sister even though he had moved to the US by the time she was at that age.
He felt the bit of hesitation but smiled when Steve relaxed and hugged back. "I've been looking forward to that all week." He said before pulling back from the embrace.
Work was work and what they did in their time off shouldn't have any impact, plus he was a private person and didn't want other staff members knowing about them.
They shared the same sense of discretion, Steve knew that and held the same standards with Casey. He was grateful to keep things separated, it let them both enjoy it more. There wasn’t any aspect of shame or want to hide, he just preferred to balance things out.
“It’s nice,” he admitted. He found it challenging to let the other man go but he relented regardless. “What can I do?” Eyeing the bags of groceries, he knew there was something he could assist with.
So far, the only person who had an idea of what was going on between the two of them was CJ's mother, he must've mentioned something when he was talking to her, or maybe she just knew - mother's intuition.
A hand moved down to hold onto Steve's for a moment. "Show me where all your pots and pans are… maybe set up a few plates and a bowl for Lily?" Spaghetti Bolognese would be easier for her to eat from a bowl.
Hand curled around CJ’s. Steve’s smile grew. “You don’t have this place memorized already?” Wrinkling his nose he felt a surge of amusement. “The cookware is over there.” A large drawer near the oven/stove combo held the flat pans and a few odds and ends pots. Casey always wanted a matching set of pots and pans but they never got around to getting one.
“I’ll set the table.” It was a fairly easy task. Lily wouldn’t eat much - ”daddy, sweets don’t fill me up but everything else does.” - but he would make sure she sat down and ate a little bit with them.
Finally he drew back and then made for the cabinet with the plates and plastic stuff for Lily.
"You might've moved them since last time." He winked, he had an idea where everything was but the layout wasn't ingrained in his memory like that of his own kitchen, plus maybe there were certain things that weren't used for sentimental sake, he didn't want to go upsetting anyone.
When their hands slipped apart CJ got out a large pan and a pot that he could cook the spaghetti in without worrying about it boiling over. The hotplate was turned on and a splash of oil added to the pan as he hummed along to the music while waiting for it to heat up so he could brown the ground beef.
If Steve looked at the amount of ingredients he would definitely notice there was more than they'd eat in one sitting, CJ had gotten extra on purpose so there would be at least two more meals for father and daughter.
At first he didn’t notice the amount of food. He was focused on the task of setting the table. A plate, fork, cup for each of them with a napkin for good measure - two for Lily. Whatever was on the menu he had no doubt would be good.
The sizzle of the ground beef nestled in his ears joined only by the smell. You couldn’t go wrong with a bit of red meat now and then. He tried to stay away from it but once in a while wasn’t hurting anyone.
Wandering back to the little kitchen, he peered over CJ’s shoulder. “Smells good. You missed out on a career opportunity there.”
It didn't take that long to get things started, a meat Bolognese sauce didn't take that long to cook, compared to many other things, most of which Lily wouldn't eat. Maybe he'd save something fancier for when it was just the two of them.
His usual bit of garlic and chilli were left out this time, not wanting it to get rejected by the girl cause it tastes funny, next time he'd cook some crumbed chicken strips for them, probably healthier than the fast food variety.
He smiled as Steve looked over his shoulder. "I don't think I could handle the stress." CJ knew that he couldn't handle people yelling at him. "You and Lily are my biggest critics, and I'm fine with that." They were the only people he cooked for anyway.
“Who could yell at you?” Steve rebutted. He shook his head at the idea. Anyone hassling CJ would be in a world of trouble if he caught wind of it. But that was a fair point, food could be stressful.
Lily crept into the kitchen quietly, an arm circled around her doll. “Something smells,” she said, though she didn’t indulge them whether it was good or bad.
Steve blinked, turning to the girl. “Smells?”
The girl laughed, approaching the stove to take a peek, “Like spaghetti.”
Before CJ got a chance to reply to Steve's question they had Lily join them, the smile stayed on his face as she stood there and stated that something smelled.
"You want to help me put the sauce in?" He asked Lily, squatting down to her level before glancing up at Steve to make sure it was okay with him but also careful not to state any ingredients, kids could be so fickle with what they did and didn't eat, maybe today tomatoes would be yucky but she'd love them tomorrow.
It reminded him of helping his own grandmother out in the kitchen as a kid, get them interested in their food and where it comes from, not just something frozen in a microwave meal.
Lily nodded, eagerly.
Steve smiled, offering a nod of his own and he stepped out of the way to let them work. “Why don’t you let the ghost with the most have a break, Lil?” The girl looked at the doll in consideration and then she offered Beetlejuice to her dad.
Taking the doll, he set it up on the top of the fridge (out of sight out of mind) and Lily grabbed her footstool placing it carefully by the counter next to the stove.
With Lily on the footstool and at a much better height to see what was going on, CJ stepped over to get the jar of tomato based sauce, he had already popped open the seal but the lid was loose and easy enough for Lily to get undone.
"Would you open this for me Lil?" He asked. When the jar was open he moved the pan a bit closer so Lily could pour the contents in on top of the now browned meat. "Great job!!"
“I’m strong!” She sang, shouted. A sound near a dinosaur roar and Lily dumped the sauce into the pan and into the meat. She flexed a tiny arm like Wonder Woman. Steve moved to catch the jar before it went flying, rinsing it in the sink to get the last of the sauce out.
When the jar was clean he set it on the counter to go out with the recycling later.
Lily leapt down from her tiny step stool. And then she disappeared again to play.
CJ chuckled when Lily disappeared from the kitchen again. "She'll be so proud that she made it." He stated, stirring the sauce in before adding a tin of tomatoes as well for extra body and flavour.
The water for the spaghetti was boiling and he added a pinch of salt, thank goodness for packet pasta. Fresh pasta was definitely for the adults who'd appreciate the difference in taste.
"One night I'll cook something just for the two of us, something very… adult in tastes." He leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Steve's cheek.
Before he could reply he found himself blushing and being rendered silent by that little kiss. Instead he grinned, nodding. And then he seemed to find himself again. “Sure, yeah. But you should really let me help.” He wasn’t the type to just hang around and not want to pitch in. Casey had to ban him from the kitchen sometimes, he could get underfoot.
By the look of things dinner would be ready soon. His stomach growled, nearly matching Lily’s dinosaur roar in tone.
"I'm sure we can figure something out… maybe take a cooking class together?" That would be a great idea for a night out, learn something and then eat the results. CJ wasn't going to use the word 'date', not just yet at least.
He heard Steve's stomach rumble and he laughed. "Few more minutes on the spaghetti and then I'll put this in a bowl for us to share, got anything cold to drink?" He gestured down at the Bolognese sauce that was ready but needed another stir.
Steve nodded with the realization that whatever was going on with them was serious or at least moving that direction. A couples cooking class. It did sound exciting. He wasn’t a terrible cook, but he didn’t know everything either. “Yeah, sounds like fun.”
It took him a second to catch up to the conversation in his distraction puzzling through the previous topic. “Water? I think we have juice, um…”
A small trek to the fridge answered the questions. The usual suspects hung out on the glass shelves. Behind the mustard hovered a half quart of milk, a few bottles of Ozarka, a single cucumber lime Gatorade. Juice boxes and a near empty vessel of orange juice.
Lily’s Batman cup sat by itself on the bottom shelf. Steve had no idea what was even in it.
CJ had left the word 'couple' out of his suggestion, but it was implied and he would silently agree that they seemed to be moving in that direction. It was a topic he hoped they'd talk about once Lily had gone to bed.
"Water will be fine." He said as Steve opened the fridge door to inspect the contents. "Even if it's not cold." Although that issue could be resolved easily he wasn't sure if he was ready to share that secret with Steve as yet.
He opened a cupboard and grabbed out 2 bowls, pouring the now ready Bolognese into one before grabbing a strainer and doing the same for the spaghetti when it was ready, putting it into the other so everyone could get however much of each they wanted. "Dinner is served."
Grabbing two bottles of water, and that Batman cup, Steve closet the fridge. Each beverage found a place at the table and then he went to go get Lily. Father and daughter shortly returned to the table, Lily climbed into her chair and smiled at CJ.
“It smells yummy,” she remarked.
Steve was just glad she was interested.
When Lily was settled, Steve pulled the chair out for CJ and then sat down himself. “It really does smell good,” he repeated quietly, offering his friend a smile. “Thanks for making it.”
“Yeah!” Lily chirped. “Thanks Uncle CJ!”
CJ smiled back, opening his bottle of water and taking a sip from it, he had become a bit thirsty while cooking and the water was just what he needed.
"My pleasure. Eat up, there's plenty of it!" He flashed a grin over at Lily, waiting for Steve to dish out the pasta before adding some to his own plate, followed by the sauce.
"Oh, I forgot the cheese! I'm sorry." Normally he'd have a tiny grating of fresh parmesan over his, but he had forgotten to grab any, mainly because Lily mightn't like it, they'd have to go without tonight.
“It’s okay,” Steve assured him.
He put some of the spaghetti on Lily’s purple plastic plate and gave her some sauce. Lily scrutinized the dish in a way a five year old only could before she decided it was edible. Her form went in and before too long she was slurping up noodles.
With his own plate full, Steve also began to eat. The dish was really good though usually what CJ made was.
There was a moment's wait while he watched Lily try it and then Steve, the anxiousness only a cook would feel to make sure his hard work was well enjoyed.
When both father and daughter began eating CJ smiled and started slowly eating his own - lots of meat sauce covering a smaller amount of spaghetti, his fork twirling some of the noodles up..
The sound of slurping and cutlery against plate was reward enough, Lily was definitely his biggest critic and probably his most honest, but that was a typical 5 year old.
Sauce was splashed over the front of her princess dress. Steve had gotten good at combatting stains over the years, using a concoction of fabric softener and detergent. Her face was also smeared with the red around the mouth, little crumbs of meat stuck to the tip of her nose.
Steve blinked. He never knew how she managed to get so messy. Then he laughed. “Okay, spaghetti monster, slow down. Bath after dinner.” Lily giggled, slurping another noodle.
Lily began telling CJ about her day at school even though he hadn’t asked, stressing the importance of coloring with glitter pens during art time.
The fact that Lily was eating more than she was wearing was a small but important thing for CJ, he did feel sorry for Steve and the laundry that would need to get done, but that was all part of parenthood.
CJ listened intently as he was told all about Lily's day, honestly glitter pens and playing sounded much more interesting than his own boring day.
Food and water were slowly consumed as he listened, eyes flicking from his plate up to the young girl who had his attention, even though the subject would normally be of little interest to him.
“...and I finally got the purple,” she stressed, making a soft sound of irritation emitted as a huff. She ate a bit more and fell silent. Steve offered an apologetic albeit amused look to CJ and it wasn’t too long before he was full.
Lily finished her drink, and then she took her bowl and utensils to the sink.
“Bath,” Steve reminded her.
“Daddy, have you seen Beetle Juice?”
Steve shook his head, “Nope, haven’t seen him anywhere.” It was a fib, Beetlejuice was on the top of the fridge, but she needed a break from that. The doll would end up in the tub otherwise.
“We can look for him later.”
Lily nodded, skipping off to the bathroom to start the shower for herself. The door slid closed.
CJ's silent response to Steve's apologetic look was the simple raise of an eyebrow and a smile, as if silently saying it's okay, I'm used to it which was the truth, he often had students dumping on their worries on him as if he was the counselor instead of the librarian, at least Lily's worries weren't as worrisome as a teenagers, yet.
When Lily had disappeared into the bathroom he turned to Steve. "I'll clean this up, I'm sure Beetlejuice will turn up." A knowing smirk and a pat of Steve's hand before he started piling up empty plates and bowls.
“Let me help,” he offered.
Steve moved to get up and helped clean up. As CJ bore away the plates and bowls, he made to wipe the table and take care of any mess from Lily on the floor (there was always food in odd places).
A few paper towels later and the crumpled paper was tossed into the trash.
The leftover glass jars from earlier went into the recycling. And then he leaned against one of the kitchen counters for a second, browsing through his phone.
The dishes could wait until Lily had finished in the bathroom, he wasn't going to steal her hot water away but they were scraped off, stacked and ready to be washed.
Leftovers were put into sealed containers, ready for another meal over the weekend and then placed into the fridge.
CJ turned around and took a small step closer to Steve, just a little brush along the arm as his friend was looking at his phone. "Anything else I can do for you while you're making sure Lils hasn't flooded the bathroom?" He asked, wanting to make things in the night time routine a bit easier.
>
His head lifted in response to the brush. The phone screen went black, he set the mobile device aside. “You do a lot already, I couldn’t ask you for any more.” Steve offered a small smile. Fortunately the girl knew how to take a shower like a big girl, the water would grow cold long before the bathroom flooded.
Steve reached out and took hold of one of CJ’s hands. He almost didn’t, but then convinced himself that was silly, and scolded himself for being awkward again.
“You wanna go sit down?”
When Steve’s hand slipped into his it brought a smile to CJ’s face, maybe he had become a softie since his last relationship, or maybe it was just that with Steve these kinds of things felt almost natural. Well, in the context of this new aspect of their relationship. He couldn’t have imagined himself doing this years ago, but things had changed since then.
“I’d love to.”
Although he knew that they wouldn’t be able to sit as close as he wanted to, at least not while Lily was still awake. Once the girl had gone to bed, then maybe they could sit a bit closer, like they had done on New Year’s Eve. They needed to talk and he hoped that they were both on the same page, though he had told himself not to get his hopes up.
His smile widened a bit and from the counter he pushed, drawing CJ along gently by the hand as he made for the little couch. Thankfully there weren’t any toys hiding behind the pillows this time.
Steve let go of CJ so they both could sit down.
Down the hallway the sound of the shower went off, and he caught the sound of little feet moving around in the bathroom. And then the door opened and Lily scurried into her bedroom to put on her pajamas.
Letting himself get guided from the kitchen to the living area CJ sat down on the small couch next to but not too close to Steve, a soft sigh escaping from his lips as the weight came off his feet, it had been a long week.
He too heard the sounds of Lily going from bathroom to bedroom, a smile still across his lips as his leg moved over to bump his knee against Steve’s, It looked more innocent than holding hands again.
“Think she’ll ask me to read her a bedtime story tonight?” He asked, Lily did seem to like it when he read her one of the books she had received from him.
“You know she loves it when you do,” he remarked softly, turning to look at his friend. Steve grinned. “It’s funny because every time I read to her she always seems to fall asleep or at least pretend she’s asleep in the middle of the story. With you she always listens until you’re done.”
He was glad Lily liked CJ so much. That little brush of a knee felt good, he felt more confident because of it.
But the moment was short lived as Lily scurried into the living room. “Daddy, Uncle CJ! It’s bedtime and I need a stor ray,” she chirped, drawing the last word out.
“Bedtime, huh?”
Lily grinned, taking CJ’s hand, “Will you read to me please?”
Steve smiled. “I’ll find Beetlejuice if you guys go get started.” Lily beamed and let go of CJ, twirling around in a circle. Then she ran off to bed to get ready for the story.
CJ had seen Lily grow up from the tiny baby to the girl she was now, he had been there for Steve as much as a friend could after Casey’s passing, while he never thought of himself as any kind of ‘father figure’ to anyone, Lily was indeed the closest thing he had to a niece and he strangely enjoyed it.
He glanced over to Steve as Lily came and took his hand, trying to tug him to his feet. “Of course Lils.” Knowing that she’d already have a book picked out and waiting on the bed by the time he got there.
“I’ll see you soon.” CJ stood and gave Steve a smirk before walking off to Lily’s room.
Once he got into the little girl’s room he grinned down at Lily. “What book is it tonight?”
As promised, Steve delivered the doll to Lily. She clutched it while listening to the story and by the time everything was settled, both Steve and CJ were back on the couch. The apartment was much quieter. He could hear, faintly, the sound of Lily’s white noise machine singing to her.
A soft sigh of relief and Steve took a second to bask in the quiet. Thankfully it was Friday, not that he had plans of any type. He would go to bed at a normal time, as always. At least, that was the predictable side.
Leaning back against the soft cushion of the couch, he turned to look at CJ. “You know she really likes you.”
Lily seemed to enjoy the book as he read it, but he could see that she was going to sleep by the time they got to the last few pages. When she was asleep CJ put the book back onto the shelf and returned to Steve and the couch.
There was a loud sigh as he sat down next to his friend and his eyes closed for a moment as his head rested back against the cushion. Now was the time to relax after what seemed to be a busier than usual evening, he felt more worn out than he did when out at a jazz club.
He chuckled softly, opening his eyes and looking over at Steve “That’s because I’m a cool uncle.”
A soft laugh. Steve nodded, “I can’t argue with that. Sometimes I feel like she likes you more than she does me.” That was the case typically with kids - they loved their parents but they didn’t always prefer rules and structure. CJ offered a different perspective and Lily responded well to that.
An arm would go up and rest on the back of the couch, and he shifted a bit closer to the other man.
Upstairs in the apartment above he heard a few steps but it quieted down quickly.
“Isn’t it always the way? Uncles and aunts dote rather than discipline, but I promise I won’t be the one taking her for a tongue piercing when she turns sixteen like one of my aunts did with my sister.” He chuckled, then again that aunt was kind of a black sheep in the family, but so was CJ which was why they had gotten along so well when he was a teenager.
The arm and the shift closer hadn’t gone unnoticed and CJ made his own small shift, the arm between them moving a bit as his hand moved to rest lightly on Steve’s thigh.
“I liked New Year’s Eve.” He said after a few minutes of quiet.
He couldn’t really argue that point, either. Wrinkling his nose at the idea of Lily piercing her tongue at any point in her life. But then he couldn’t keep her from living her life the way she felt was right when she was an adult.
His arm dropped around CJ’s shoulders as the other shifted closer.
“Me too. I had a lot of fun. It was a nice change of pace.” Even with his knee acting up, the evening itself had been eventful and pleasant.
Of course CJ had messaged Steve on the Friday before to make sure his knee was alright after they had left the party early because of it. He did worry about his friend and for a while felt a bit guilty because it was his idea to head out to the dancefloor in the first place, but there wasn’t any lasting effect thankfully.
“I’m glad you had a good time. I’m not sure if I’ll go to another one though, I’ll probably see in the next year with my usual tub of Ben and Jerry’s and a movie or two.” Unless there was something more exciting, a lot could happen in the next 12 months.
CJ’s eyes closed as his head moved to the side, resting on the crook of Steve’s shoulder as a thumb idly brushing the material under his hand.
It felt nice to just sit there, holding on to someone again. While it was odd, it felt good. He emitted a soft sigh of satisfaction, shifting a little bit closer. “I don’t usually do stuff like that, either.” But maybe that was why he and CJ got along so well, they knew each other’s boundaries.
His own thumb brushed across CJ’s shoulder following the curve of the limb and joint.
This year had the potential of being better than the last one, or so he hoped.
CJ couldn’t remember how long it had been since he had sat with someone like this, content to just sit there and half snuggle together. “I know, we’re just not all that extroverted. I’d rather be sitting at home reading or playing while you’d probably be at a game or somewhere with Lily.” He paused for a moment. “But I could handle it again if you were there with me.”
Moving his hand from Steve’s leg he moved it, tucking it between the other man’s back and the couch cushion so that it was curled around Steve.
Lifting his head up he leaned forward a bit and pressed a kiss to his friend’s cheek.
That glimpse of the future made his heart flutter a bit. He could visualize it - playing cards or a board game with Lily while CJ played music in the background. It scared him a bit if he was being honest only because he didn’t want to screw it up. Even if they went to a football game at the High School and stood sideline, it didn’t matter because it was a future that included all of them.
He felt CJ adjust and reposition, taking the weight easily of the other man.
Color flooded his face. Those blue eyes looked sidelong at his friend and then Steve lifted fingers fo catch CJ by the chin so he could lean in and steal a soft kiss.
Subtle changes had already occured over the years of their friendship, CJ had tried his best to learn about American Football, he had an idea of what was going on but still was pretty clueless about it and just followed everyone’s cheering or booing. Even if he couldn’t say what was going on it wasn’t as boring as it once was. It was only a small change and one that CJ hadn’t even noticed.
The blush made him smile, but he wasn’t expecting the next part.
CJ’s head tilted slightly and a hand moved up to Steve’s neck, lips pressing into the kiss which was already lasting longer than their previous two combined.
Steve’s eyes dropped closed. He breathed through his nose and lifted his hand to rest upon the back of CJ’s neck, brushing the hair there with his fingers. It felt good to be connected like that, better than he remembered.
After another moment he backed up, eyes opening, taking a real breath.
A surge of satisfaction filled him and he knew that whatever was going on between them was the right thing.
CJ could feel warmth spread through him, as if Steve’s lips had opened up some kind of heat source inside of his body but really it was just his reaction to it all, excitement from a proper kiss and not just a quick peck like twice before.
When they parted his eyes opened as well and he smiled, his thumb brushing Steve’s neck gently and head moving to rest their foreheads together.
They still needed to talk about this, but the kiss told him that Steve was just as interested in where it was going.
“I’ve been thinking about that for a while,” Steve admitted, voice a bit softer. It was true, though. Sometimes he found himself daydreaming about actually kissing CJ, considering it for a few moments at least before life called him back. But now he knew.
The weight of their foreheads touching was comforting. He leaned in a bit, brushing their noses together.
There was a conversation hanging between them, unsaid words and guidelines unestablished. It would come in time.
CJ wanted to chuckle, the same thoughts had gone through his mind on occasion too, when he had time to think about nothing else and let himself get whisked away from monotony. "Was it as good as your dreams?" He asked, curious about the answer. "Would you do it again?"
A small shift in his seat had CJ facing Steve more instead of just having his upper body twisted. He nudged their noses together again, as if to urge Steve to do it again.
They could sit there and do this for most of the night and CJ wouldn't mind, at least they had figured out one tiny step, the rest would come in time.
His hand dropped to settle at CJ’s hip as the man turned more to face him. Again his nose would brush upon his friend’s, but he moved in for another taste of those full lips. Catching them, Steve emitted a soft sound. Inside a torrent of things stirred up like a tornado.
“Only if you’d come with me,” he murmured into the connection, though the answer was more for reply rather than a focused response.
Eyes slipped shut as they kissed again, the soft sound from Steve replied with one in kind, something between a sigh and a groan. There was so much that he wanted, but those silent wishes would come true when it was their time, this wasn't a race and CJ was looking forward to taking each step together.
He'd follow Steve anywhere, even through the most dangerous of places or hardest of situations, but he suspected that his friend already knew that. There were probably a lot of things that while they had never spoken about them, the two men already knew about the other.
CJ's lips parted slightly, another soft sound escaping as he pressed into the kiss that bit more, wanting whatever Steve would give him.
He didn’t want the moment to get intense. At least, not tonight. Lily was only a narrow corridor away and while the girl slept like the dead she could wake up at random or need something and he needed to be available to her.
But he didn’t move away from the kisses they were sharing. He wanted to kiss; being connected to CJ like this was refreshing and he felt as if this was an appropriate level for them right now.
Finally he drew back again. Steve took a breath, blue eyes fluttering open.
That same thought was in the back of CJ's mind as well, ever cautious that they weren't completely alone. That kind of exploration could wait for another night, one where it was just the two of them in the house.
He'd be more than content to continue kissing until they both grew tired, or until they decided it was enough for the night. Right now these cautious kisses were all that he needed, that and Steve's touch. It felt so good to have those hands holding him.
CJ's eyes fluttered open, taking in Steve's blue and he let out a soft chuckle-like sound. "I liked that," he whispered.
“Me too,” he confirmed.
A sensation of delight flooded through him. It was Friday and he had the rest of the night but he wasn’t quite sure what to do next. So, he opted for just sitting there with CJ. He kept his arm around the other.
He cleared his throat a bit. “We probably need to talk a little bit though.”
The hand moved from where it was curled around Steve's neck down to rest on the shoulder while his other hand was resting on his friend's thigh, not wanting to lose that contact.
"We do." It was the original plan for his visit, other than spending some time together. The sooner they talked about what was going on between them, the easier the path ahead would be.
"I really like you Steve, but I never want you to feel any kind of pressure…"
“No, no,” he replied, shaking his head, “I know that. I just, I haven’t been with anyone in a while and I just don’t want to do anything that you don’t like. You know?” He didn’t want to screw anything up. “I like you too. But you knew that already.” As if the kissing hadn’t spoken for itself.
Wherever this progressed he knew that they’d take it in stride, together. It wouldn’t be perfect, nothing was, but at least they both had a common goal.
"I'm a pretty easy guy to please, and you're doing great so far." He said, giving Steve's leg a gentle squeeze of reassurance. CJ knew that since Casey's passing that his friend had focussed solely on Lily, that he hadn't had time for this kind of relationship.
CJ also knew that he'd never replace Casey, and that he'd always play second fiddle to Lily but it didn't bother him, that was what it was like with single parents. "Baby steps, right?"
Steve nodded. He felt reassured by the confidence in CJ’s tone. Maybe he wasn’t as bad at relationships as he thought. “Okay, good.” The last thing he wanted was for CJ to feel as if he wasn’t important - he was, but Steve had to learn again how to balance those things in his life.
“Baby steps,” Steve nodded. Lots of tiny baby steps. “You should let me take you out next weekend. Like to dinner.”
He could get his parents to watch Lily and they wouldn’t have to tiptoe around as much.
They were both pretty rusty when it came to relationships, CJ knew that he was. But they'd work through it, get over those bumps along the road. Together.
"As long as it's not Chick-fil-A," he joked, a smirk spread across his lips. "Then it's a date." He was already looking forward to going out on a proper date, he wouldn't call New Year's Eve a date.
“Wait,” Steve laughed. “Are you hating on Chick-Fil-A? Because those fries are the best and you can’t deny that.” Waffle fries brought world peace. They wouldn’t go to the fast food restaurant, somewhere a bit more appropriate.
A date. That felt good. He nodded. “Yeah, a date.”
He wasn't hating on Chick-fil-A, he knew that it was the usual 'go to' fast food place that Lily was guaranteed to eat, and truth be told he didn't mind it on occasion. "They do make good fries, but I was hoping for something a bit more… classy." CJ was still smirking.
"But don't get dressed up for my sake, you'd look gorgeous in just about anything." He'll, CJ was sure that Steve looked even better without anything on, but that would be for another night.
“Of course.” The plan had not been to take CJ somewhere that served food in paper containers. He wasn’t sure yet exactly what that would look like but when he figured it out he knew the other would be satisfied with it.
“Thanks,” he grinned, turning those bright blues on CJ again. “I don’t know what the plan is, yet.”
It was the first one but he wanted to do it right, do right by CJ.
"As long as there's you and me, I don't care if it was Chick-fil-A." It didn't have to be fancy, even some out of the way diner with good food would please CJ, it was the company more than the food, well as long as they didn't get food poisoning, that'd ruin the night.
The hand resting on Steve's shoulder moved up, running through the short, dark locks. "You'll think of something. And we'll both have a great time." Or at least that was his silent hope.
"Hmm, what do you think of a bit more kissing?"
He felt warmed by the response. It wouldn’t be Chick-Fil-A this time, he would find something suitable. Standards needed to be set anyway.
There wasn’t any doubt they’d have a good time. At least he hoped. It seemed they both were still learning.
Steve smiled a bit, “A little more couldn’t hurt.” Right? And then he leaned in to catch his friend by the mouth again.
He trusted Steve and his judgement, he'd find a nice restaurant for their meal and they would have a great time, he knew it.
The idea of spending the evening together would also keep him going for the next week, that little glimmer of light to get him through the week ahead.
Steve was right, a bit more couldn't hurt, it had been a while for them both, and a bit of practice never hurt anyone. CJ's head tilted slightly as their lips met, keeping it soft but also giving just a hint of passion.