How’d I get to be so lucky? When: November 24, evening Rating: Low Status: Complete
Pizza sounded amazing
A scatter of half-full cardboard boxes in varying sizes sat happily about the trailer. There wasn’t much there; old things of Rose’s mostly. Ronnie had started with his things which had been easy enough considering he didn’t let himself have a whole lot for no particular reason, and then worked his way into the main part of the living area.
Towering by the front door was a stack of already filled and labeled boxes. Ronnie had found a marker in his mama’s junk drawer along with a few old, expired coupons, a few doodads which lacked the remaining parts but were saved just in case, and a bit of bric a brac. In neat letters he penned the specific room each box was supposed to go in so when it came to unpacking the task didn’t look so daunting.
Ronnie was sitting on the floor. In his lap were a few albums full of pictures of him and his Mama. More of when he was little, after he had been born, but only a few from before when his parents had met before everything had gone south. On his right, pushed against the arm of the couch and nestled against the coffee table, was a small box with more of those momentos and a few things from the walls that he had left.
Moving scared him.
He hadn’t wanted to leave only because this house with all of its memories was the last piece of his mother he had. The tombstone in the local graveyard didn’t count. He’d lived in this same place for nearly thirty five years (not including his time in New York and nearby Vegas) and leaving it behind seemed like stomping all over Rose’s memory. Tarnishing the last bit of the Milam name.
But he knew he had to let this place go, release the last of whatever of the past he was living in and start moving on. Ronnie was so thankful for Mikey. Mikey was the voice of reason, the level-headed and forward thinking of the two of them, and also the least dramatic and least likely to flake out at the last second because of the little details.
The other thing on Ronnie’s mind was Ro. She was his friend. Lately she hadn’t been looking like herself. He realized that she sustained on something akin to life force. The frustrating part was that he couldn’t help her with her problem. There was no way he could fix anything wrong or offer anything to help. Chicken soup couldn’t alleviate the feeling she had. He noticed more after the night they’d hung out in Vegas - that racy photo she had saved on his phone he hadn’t looked at until he’d stumbled upon it by accident looking for a new photo of him and Mikey to save as his wallpaper. That really got his mind going.
With a sigh, he closed the album and tossed it into the nearby box. Then he relaxed against the couch, pressing his back against the edge, stretching his legs out so that they were parallel. Even from the floor things felt daunting. He didn’t know if he had the mental strength to keep taking his mother’s things down from the walls.
Mikey came into the room, stretching a bit, and paused when he saw Ronnie’s expression. “Hey,” he said, toeing Ronnie lightly with the tip of his sneaker before sitting next to him. “Glassesr’ mostly done. Wanna take a breather? Order some dinner?”
Ronnie had that slightly pinched look about him he got sometimes. That look that said he was taking on something big.
He nudged Ronnie with his shoulder. “Penny for those thoughts?” He added.
That playful touch had Ronnie smiling. It didn’t matter what he was going through, Mikey always seemed to be able to get past it and bring back the light. “Thanks babe,” he murmured, leaning over to borrow a bit of strength. “That sounds amazing.” Ordering out seemed less stressful than trying to whip something up in a bit of a scattered kitchen.
He turned to look up at Mikey. Somewhere between the zeal of starting to pack and now he’d managed to tie back his hair. Some of it had found its way out of the bun, though. “I was just thinking about Mama. All of this stuff reminds me of her, it’s hard to put it into boxes. You know? It’s like I’m sticking her life into cardboard where nobody is ever gonna see it.”
One of his hands moved and wrapped around one of Mikey’s. “It’ll take me a minute but I’ll work through it.”
Mikey nodded, and leaned against Ronnie while he tapped through to put in a quick order for pizza. “There,” he said, “on its way.” He bit his lip. “You know you can bring stuff, right? We can have a Mama wall with pictures, and a shelf of those figurines she liked, and… maybe we could frame a few sheets of her favorite organ music too?” He shrugged. “You don’t gotta put it all away. I want there to be room for her where we’re going too.”
At mention of the wall he started to get a bit teary-eyed. Maybe grown up dudes weren’t supposed to cry but he did and it couldn’t be helped. “Thanks,” he squeaked, sniffling and then nodding. His hand squeezed Mikey’s a bit tighter. He had something in mind already for that wall, a few things for her memory, and that made the process feel better.
Ronnie lifted his free hand and wiped at his eyes, and then surrendered the hem of his tee shirt to the task in lieu of his fingers as the fabric was clearly the better choice for sopping up tears.
Mikey’s stomach twisted a little in sympathy -- he knew how much Ronnie’d depended on his mother growing up, how much he’d loved her and cared for her when she’d gotten sick, and even though his relationship with his own mother had been a great deal more fraught, he could understand that Ronnie’s loss went deep -- that for the longest time, it’d been just Ronnie and his mom versus the world, and he certainly knew what that felt like.
“Hey,” he said, disentangling their fingers to wrap his arms around Ronnie, pressing their foreheads together. “Hey,” he added, “it’s okay? To feel sad? It’s so okay. I know how bad you miss her.”
Another sniffle. He looked up into Mikey’s eyes, nodding slightly as he found comfort in the arms around him and also the feeling of their foreheads pressed together. “I know. It’ll be good to get out of here, though,” he sighed. He felt like she haunted him, but not in a bad way. For so long her spirit resonated through the walls and now was his chance to break free and start really making something out of his dormant life.
He was looking forward to moving, to living with Mikey and building a nest together that they both could be proud of and contribute to. This was more like a mausoleum.
“Thanks for being so supportive, babe. It makes it easier. I’m ready to get out of here and start moving on with you. Also, I’m sort of worried about Ro. She isn’t herself lately. Like she’s not eating or something.”
There’d been a small, insistent voice in Mikey’s head when he’d first come over to Ronnie’s place that’d worried upon seeing he was basically just living in his childhood home without having changed much. He’d seen it as a sign that Ronnie was just hovering there, that it was temporary, and he was just waiting to get the energy to go someplace bigger and better.
Either that, or that he was stuck.
He wasn’t entirely sure, still, that Ronnie’d truly be happy staying in Searchlight -- but the fact he was willing to move into a new place, and was looking into getting that food truck all pointed to good things, at least as far as Mikey was concerned -- it meant Ronnie was moving forward without moving so fast it left him behind.
“Yeah?” He asked, frowning a little at the news of Ro. Ro was… complicated? He still really didn’t like that she’d gravitated towards Noah, even though she’d broken things off with him as soon as she’d found out about what he was really like, and yeah, her casual drug use also didn’t endear her to him, but he knew she and Ronnie were tight, and right now, that’s what mattered.
“So…” he replied, his eyebrows knitting. “She… she feeds off of energy, right? Sexual energy? Has she said anything about it? Like… I wouldn’t think she’d have too much trouble, you know?”
Another deep breath and he felt calmer now. Mikey was always good at that, finding ways to bring the important things back into focus. Sometimes he thought back to his life pre-Mikey and wondered how he managed to function at all without him.
“Yeah, yeah, that sort of thing,” Ronnie replied, nodding. He shook his head. “Nah. But I didn’t really ask, either. Cause that’s not really my business and all, you know?” How did you ask someone who they were sleeping with or how frequently? That seemed so personal even for good friends.
“She’s hot, don’t get me wrong, but maybe she’s just trying to find something a little more consistent or something. Like, when we were at the bar she didn’t even look at the bartender much more than to order drinks and he was being almost rude in the way he was hitting on her.” Of course Ronnie had stepped in, cause nobody was rude to his friends, but it was an observation he remembered.
Mikey nodded, remembering the racy picture Ronnie’d told him about, not sure how that all fit. “Maybe you should just straight up ask,” he said. “Like, if she needs a certain kind of food you could help her find. A certain type of person, or relationship. Like if Derek needed a special kind of blood, you know, you’d wanna help, even though it’d be a little weird, this doesn’t have to be any different?”
He paused, chewing on his lip. “I don’t know much about how her kind works,” he added, “and how much of it is just… Ro bein’ Ro? Maybe she’s…” he shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe she’s got a complicated relationship with how she gets her food. Maybe she’s fasting. Maybe she got hurt, and is having a tough time bouncing back, because feelings got involved. I think if you’re worried, you should ask her.”
Ronnie nodded. He knew he should ask, but asking felt weird. Though the comparison was fair. If it had been Derek, Ronnie would’ve moved hell and earth to make sure his friend had what he needed. But Derek had needs Ronnie understood and could help with short of luring people for food.
“Me neither, but yeah, maybe. I don’t know how to ask but I’ll figure it out. She’s worth asking, I guess. At least trying to help.” The last part was stated with much more confidence. He hadn’t given up on her and he wouldn’t.
She would’ve done the same thing for him, anyway.
Mikey kissed Ronnie’s cheek and nodded. “I mean, just plow on in,” he said. “It’s bound to get awkward, but like you said. Worth it.”
He paused. “You know I’m not, you know. Jealous? Threatened? Whatever. Right? I mean, beyond the whole she can’t touch either of us thing, which is… it’s own thing, I guess, but I know we’re solid, I know it, and Ro’s your friend, and she sounds like she’s going through a rough time, and even if that wasn’t in play…” he tipped his head. “Anyways,” he said, “I know you want to help. You got such a big heart, dude, and I know you’ll try your best, and this is me saying it’s a good thing, you know?”
Plow on in. Ronnie laughed a bit. That was such a Mikey thing to say but he got the gist of it. “Yeah. There’s this Thanksgiving thing at Lucky’s,” he murmured, nodding. “I’m gonna text Ro and see what’s up for food and stuff. I’ll see what’s up with her. You’re coming with me, right? I mean, if your family isn’t doing stuff. I’m gonna be at the Soup Kitchen most of the day but you know, Thanksgiving and all.”
And the next part made his smile a bit broader. “I know you aren’t. And I’d never do anything to make you feel that way, or at least not on purpose. I love you, man. You’re all I need.” Whatever the circumstance may be with Ro, they would figure something out. If she told him to mind his business, then he would worry in silence until she was okay. But that wouldn’t get in the way of progress.
“I’m real glad we’re finally getting our own place, babe. Like for real. It’s going to be so cool.”
“I’ll swing by,” Mikey replied. “We do ours in the early afternoon, and you know me, dude, I’m always up for seconds.” He kissed Ronnie on the cheek again. “You’re a good person, you know that?” He added. “Got that enormous heart, always lookin’ out for people…” he kissed Ronnie lightly on the lips. “I love that about you, you know? And yeah,” he added, “yeah, it’s going to be fucking awesome. Building that patio, having folks over…” he grinned. “Waking up next to you every single day, it’s gonna be heaven.”
He would be glad to know Mikey was on the way to the event. It wouldn’t be a huge deal. From the sound of it, an informal gathering would’ve been a good way to describe it but at least it was close and people would be able to visit for the holiday. He knew some were like him and didn’t have immediate family to do things with.
“Thanks babe, that’s real sweet.” Ronnie brightened visibly at the kiss, winding an arm around Mikey. “Yeah, that’ll be great, you know? Waking up together, in a place we have together.” He was really looking forward to it.
“So great,” Mikey replied. “So worth it.” He kissed Ronnie lightly. “You wanna pick out some pictures for that wall we’re gonna put together?” He asked. “...And anything else you wanna make sure to make space for, while we’re at it? Besides your truly epic amount of glassware. I think we cleaned the county out of newspapers wrapping all those glasses,” he added with a grin.
Ronnie laughed at the mention of those glasses. “Hey, those glasses have come from everywhere,” he teased. Some of them had come from New York, though not many. He’d taken a few from his old apartment, a few of Skylar’s coveted ones just to spite him, and they’d somehow remained and endured. A few had also come from the few excursions he’d taken with Derek.
And you never knew when you’d be entertaining with specific beverages which required certain stemware.
“Yeah! I can grab a few things for the wall. I’ll put them in a certain box and get it labeled. You want to help the pizza kid when he gets here?” Or she. Girls delivered pizza, too.
“Sure, baby,” Mikey replied, “I got it covered. And trust me,” he added with a grin, “all those glasses? Totally worth the effort.” His ears pricked up as he heard the crunch of car wheels on gravel. “That’ll be dinner,” he said, pushing himself up with an oof.
Later that night, curled up on the bed together, leaving the mess of things still left to packed in the livingroom and kitchen for another day, Mikey pressed his nose into the familiar space between Ronie’s neck and jaw and inhaled, his arms wrapped around Ronnie’s chest.
“Hey beautiful,” he said, quietly.
Fingers would dance gently across the pine of Mikey’s back from where it began at the shoulder. By now he had this space memorized, the same way he could map out his boyfriend blindly and in the pitch black dark, and yet he found comfort in the knowledge.
It was late. He was exhausted from the packing and the surges of emotion that had come with it, but Mikey’s weight and the lingering smell of his lover put him at ease. Ronnie smiled at that murmur of words, his eyes fluttering open.
“Hey yourself,” he whispered, then laughed a bit softly, turning to press a kiss upon warm skin, any that he could easily reach.
“Hey back,” Mikey replied, his smile curling into his cheek. “How’d I get so fucking lucky?” He added, kissing Ronnie’s clavicle, his hands spreading across Ronnie’s back. “How’d I manage to land such an awesome guy?”
Instantly he leaned into those strong hands. “I ask myself the same thing all the time about you,” he murmured softly, offering a grin. “How I got myself a real good man, the perfect one.” He continued to touch warm skin gently, admiring the softness. “And how much I love you. Like seriously. It’s hard trying to imagine how things used to be, before you.”
“Boring?” Mikey volunteered with a widening smile. “Lonely?” He added, with a tilt to his head. “M’ not perfect,” he added, “like, really, really not, but I’m gonna do my best when it comes to you, cos you’re worth it, and I figure that’s okay.” He kissed Ronnie lightly. “I love you so much I can’t hardly think sometimes,” he replied. “I love you so much it hurts, but in a good way?”
Ronnie laughed, nodding. “Yup. Pretty boring and hella lonely. But that’s all in the past now. You’re like the sun, babe. Warm, bright. Everything is better when you’re around.” The kisses would be returned gently. “You’re perfect to me, and that’s what matters.” His grin widened. “Makes sense. That’s a good way to love someone.” He lifted his hand and slipped his fingers into Mikey’s hair, brushing along the scalp and kneading gentle circles with tenderness.
Mikey hummed low in his throat, a purr rumbling as Ronnie massaged his scalp. “Ngh,” he exhaled, his own hands running up and down Ronnie’s back. “S’ good,” he added. “You got any knots in those shoulders of yours?” He asked. “Need me to… mmmmmm,” he ended.
“Mm yeah, please,” he murmured, keeping up the gentle kneading motion. Fingers worked against scalp and he shifted more into those big hands. “Work that tension out, babe,” Ronnie purred dangerously, leaning over to press a kiss against Mikey’s skin tenderly before snuggling in and finding the safety and comfort of sleep.