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Tweak says, "Padmichael forever!"

Lily Evans (emerald_eyes) wrote in beyondthepages,
@ 2010-05-20 21:34:00

Entry tags:

2023 10, lily evans, severus snape

RP: You Don't Want to Hear This
Characters: Lily, Sev
Time/Date: Later evening, October 20, 2023
Location: Spinner's End
Warnings/Rating: Breaking glassware?
Summary: Lily has ... interesting ... news for Sev
Status: Private, ongoing

While she'd worked the potions in the workroom, she'd tried to figure out the best way to approach this particular topic. There was no good way to go about it; every angle ended with the inevitable. She'd have to tell him he had a son, conceived in treachery, that he had no idea existed.

Maybe he suspected, or ... had ideas. He'd gotten a little pensive when she mentioned Faustus, but it could simply have been the last name. Which, obviously, he'd know. Lord, she was not looking forward to this.

Apparating into the house, just inside the front door, Lily tilted her head to listen to see if she could determine where he was. Maybe she could put this ... off. Except, she knew she really couldn't.

Maybe she'd take the Band-Aid approach and just ... blurt it all out and go up to have her shower and read in bed for a bit. Sort of a duck and run, attack in passing sort of deal. But she knew she wouldn't do that, either. She'd tell, she'd stand, she'd endure, and she'd bid him good night so he could go break more glassware. With any luck, she'd see him in bed sometime before dawn.

There was absolutely no scenario in her mind that ended with him taking it well. Granted, not all of them ended with breaking glass, either. Maybe it wouldn't be that horrible. Maybe he wouldn't believe it, but ... that wouldn't make it any less true.

When Jeremy came trotting over, she smiled to the kitten. "Hello, love. Any bad mail for me today?" She scooped up the kitten and nuzzled at his fur. "Where is Severus hiding, hm?" She started to move through the house, reasoning she'd checked the upstairs rooms before peeking into his lair to see where he was.

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bittersnark
2010-05-21 05:22 am UTC (link)

Severus was in the process of getting changed in their bedroom. He'd been experimenting with a potion with an eye to using it against Bellatrix and he'd... well, he wasn't entirely sure what had gone wrong. He suspected he'd added too much mandrake but he'd have to test that at a later point. The end result of whatever had gone wrong had been not quite an explosions but had certainly left the potion dripping all over everything within reach, including him.

A few charms had cleaned up the worst of it in the basement and a shower had rid him of his coating of failed potion. Now he was dressing with an eye to perhaps getting into a little more experimentation before Lily came home.

He was standing in bare feet and black trousers, buttoning up a white shirt, when he saw movement in the doorway. He looked around and saw Lily and Jeremy... and the expression on Lily's face did not bode well. Very few Gryffindors could lie well and Lily was one of the worst. Oddly enough, her son was one of the best, almost Slytherin in his abilities.

"What has happened? Has something managed to slip through the wards?"

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emerald_eyes
2010-05-21 05:31 am UTC (link)

Lily almost rolled her eyes at herself. Well, she'd told Faustus, hadn't she? That Severus would take one look at her and just know. She wondered how much of it was her, and how much of it was his ability and just how well he knew her. If someone else had looked at her, would they have guessed?

She set Jeremy down on the floor in case he wanted to duck and run when the sparks started flying.

"Nothing that I know of, and Jeremy didn't seem at all upset, so I'm going to guess we're clean tonight." Her eyes flicked over him before she shook her head and shed her robes, draping them over the back of a chair. Lifting her hands, she untied her hair, fluffing it out with her fingers before reaching for her hairbrush.

"I don't think there's an easy, tactful, or ... good way to say this. I ... had a conversation with Faustus this evening. He was pacing around my workroom, having a bit of a conundrum."

Lily licked her lips, and exhaled softly. "Did I ever mention that he looks ... a bit like you? That other people might ... notice he looks a bit like you?" She clasped her hairbrush in her hands rather than brushing her hair as she waited to see if she could get away with saying it without actually saying it. If he could make the necessary leaps in logic without her having to actually say the words 'you have a son you don't know about.'

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bittersnark
2010-05-21 05:45 am UTC (link)

He relaxed a little bit when she reported no incursions. He didn't think there could be but that didn't preclude Bellatrix finding something new and insidious and using it. He would never underestimate the woman.

When she turned to subject to Faustus, he frowned and it took a moment to place the name. Faustus Stirling, the Potions professor at Hogwarts. Lily had mentioned him briefly some time back. As she continued to waffle on, his frown deepened.

She thought this Faustus looked like him? His eyes narrowed as he watched her closely. She was being extraordinarily evasive and she was refusing to meet his eyes and her entire body language screamed discomfort and awkwardness and apprehension.

...and this man's surname was Stirling.

Severus went dead white and his face went utterly, utterly blank as pieces of the puzzle began to slot into position. And he did not like the picture they were making. That night. Isabella Stirling's little escapade. He'd identified the potion later, testing his own blood to determine what she'd slipped into his drink. A powerful aphrodisiac with a number of side effects, one of which was that it neutralised most common contraceptive potions... like the one he took.

A man named Faustus Stirling who looked like him. It was possible. Though what irony that she would call him Faustus. Latin for lucky or fortunate... and the name of the alchemist who sold his soul to the devil.

"No," he said flatly, a hint of anger colouring his voice. Whether it was answering her question or denying the suspicion that was growing in his mind was a moot point.

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emerald_eyes
2010-05-21 05:54 am UTC (link)

Ahuh. That had definitely been putting pieces together reaction, not a 'oh, no, you never did mention that. Uncanny' no. "He didn't know what to do. Whether or not to tell you, and he wanted my advice. Ultimately, I ... we ... he. He mentioned, if anyone else put it together and blindsided you with it, and you didn't know, it would be so much worse than ... alerting you now to his presence."

Of course, it didn't occur to her to think Faustus was making it all up. What would it achieve? And he'd looked entirely too distressed for it to be fabricated.

"So, I agreed, of course, that it was better that you hear it now and ... he's not expecting anything from you. Nothing like that. He knows it ... his mother ... he told me a little about how it happened. What she did. She ... felt bad about it later, which ... doesn't matter, at all, I know, because she still ..."

Lily decided now would be a good time to stop rambling and ... get out of the way. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. Whether she was sorry for having to tell him, or sorry it happened, wasn't clear. It was ... both though. It shouldn't have happened to him, and that pissed her off on his behalf, and ... he shouldn't have to hear it.

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bittersnark
2010-05-22 02:08 pm UTC (link)

Severus listened to the rest of what Lily had to say with an almost frightening stillness as rage and... humiliation swirled within him. It didn't matter that he'd been in a situation where he'd been unable to use magic to detect anything in his drink, it didn't matter that every else had been in the same situation, it didn't matter that there was no way he could have stopped the effects of the potion once he'd drunk it, it didn't matter that the girl had been willing when she'd caught up to him as he'd stumbled out of the room in a desperate attempt to find somewhere safe until the potion wore off and steered him into an empty room.

It didn't matter that his loss of control was entirely out of his control. He didn't remember that night entirely clearly but he remembered enough. He hadn't been gentle and he'd definitely left bruises on the girl though mercifully, as far as he could tell, she had not been a virgin.

And now to find he'd fathered a child in that situation? No, that was something he could not face.

And worse... Lily knew what had happened. The one thing he would never have told her.

He turned on one heel and stalked towards the door, his boots and jackets swooping through the air after him. He paused by Lily though he couldn't bring himself to look at her. His eyes remained fixed on the door to his childhood bedroom. "I... can't... I will be back."

With that he stalked down the stairs, pausing only long enough to pull his boots and jacket on. He grabbed his cloak and was out the front door, slamming it behind him. He needed to get out and go... somewhere... anywhere... elsewhere. Somewhere he could rid himself of this humiliation and find a way to not think about it.

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emerald_eyes
2010-05-22 02:17 pm UTC (link)

Lily closed her eyes as he left, and she twitched when she heard the door slam. She bit down on her lower lip, but ... this was probably sort of reaction.

Unless he was going off to kill Faustus, in which case ... probably not the best of ends to the scenario.

She rubbed her cheeks and sighed heavily and wondered if it had been for the best after all, to tell him. But if they did find out, somehow. If people connected the dots and put things together, if they ... did whatever dark, dirty Death Eaters did when they wanted to strike at someone they wanted revenge on ... it was better that he knew and could start dealing now, right?

"Looks like it's you and me, kid," she said sadly to Jeremy. She really didn't expect to see Sev back before morning, honestly. Scooping up the kitten, she carried him to the bed, perching on the edge of it. Holding the kitten, stroking his back, she tried not to think too hard, or too much, about what she might have done to them. She hated that she had to tell him, hated that it had happened at all, but it had ... and he had to know. She was probably the only one who could have survived telling him.

After a bit, she set the kitten down and got ready for bed. She had vague intentions of trying to stay up until he got home, but she doubted she'd make it. So she curled up under the covers in a long tee-shirt and gazed into the darkness for a while before succumbing to the pull of sleep.

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