i'm frightened to think about it, you know? like i'm scared that if i think about it then it'll make things even harder than they are right now. it's [...] really hard not to think about it sometimes because it's not like i don't have feeling for [...] people ever but i don't know how i could do it when i'd never feel a kiss or even a hug. at the moment i can't see it. i'm too scared to see it.