Lynn wanted some Severus action and I've had these kicking around for a while. Lots of Sev backstory.
Title: Prodigious Talent Author:katling Pairing/Character: Severus Snape, Eileen Snape Rating: G Warning: None Word Count: 472 Summary: A four-year-old Severus displays his talents.
The small boy with black hair and black eyes sat in the middle of what looked like a living room, surrounded by building blocks. He looked to be about four years old and he was staring at the blocks with intense concentration. Slowly one block rose into the air, followed by four others, then the five blocks began to whirl in the air around the boy in increasingly complex patterns.
The boy suddenly broke out into a broad triumphant smile, one tinged with more than a hint of mischief.
“Mummy!” he yelled happily. “Come an’ see!”
The woman who walked into the room was not beautiful in any way but when she saw what her son was doing, her sour, bitter expression faded into a proud, indulgent smile that made her homely face strangely attractive.
“Oh, very clever, Sevvie!” she said with delight as she swooped into the room and knelt down beside her son, just out of range of the swirling blocks.
The little boy scowled ferociously, giving the barest hint of the man he would one day become.
“Not Sevvie,” he said firmly. “Tha’s a baby’s name. Sev’rus.”
The woman laughed. “Of course, Severus. You’re a big boy now. No baby names.”
Severus beamed again. “Can I show Da... Father?”
Sadness and a hint of bitterness flickered in Eileen’s eyes at how quickly their son had become accustomed to his father’s insistence on that formality. She desperately searched for a way to discourage him from repeating the remarkable display. Tobias had been getting increasingly sullen and angry every time Severus showed signs of magic... and strong magic at that... and she didn’t want him taking it out on their son.
“How about we show Father your writing?” she suggested quickly. “He’ll be so pleased to see how well you’re doing. Only very smart boys can write so well when they’re four.”
Severus had started to pout but he began smiling again when she said how smart he was. Eileen was stunned to see that through all of this, all of the distractions, the blocks were still whirling away around Severus’ head. She was sure that he was going to be more powerful than she was and she was probably going to have to start teaching him soon to keep his magic under control.
“Father will be proud?” Severus asked with a hint of plaintiveness in his voice that made Eileen’s heart ache.
“Of course he will,” she said staunchly, hoping that she wasn’t lying. She then changed the subject. “Now, why don’t you show me what else you can do?”
Severus smiled brilliantly and clapped his hands, the blocks jigging slightly in time with his claps as they whirled around. From the look of mischief in his eyes, he was doing it deliberately and Eileen laughed and clapped as well.
Title: Crime and Punishment Author:katling Pairing/Character: Severus Snape, Tobias Snape Rating: PG Warning: Corporal punishment, child abuse Word Count: 337 Summary: There is a reason Severus hates his father. (Sev is 12)
A twelve-year-old Severus sat in his bedroom and scowled, firmly ignoring the sounds of shouting, yelling and crashing crockery coming from downstairs. Merlin only knows what they were arguing about now. Probably nothing. Father had come home drunk again and he was barely coherent when he was sober, let alone when he’d been drinking.
“He’s your son!”
His father’s words rang out clearly and Severus’ scowl deepened. So that’s what they were arguing about. His little potions experiment gone wrong in the basement. He hunched his shoulders and stared at the wand in his hand. Avery had promised to tell him how to avoid the ban on underage wizardry but they’d both forgotten before school had finished. And now he was stuck here and had to put up with his father, unable to ward his door like he wanted to.
The sound of thumping footsteps on the stairs made him hunch over even more then his door was yanked open and he quickly shoved his wand under his mattress.
“I’ve warned you, boy,” his father growled.
“It was an accident,” Severus replied sullenly. It wasn’t like he’d meant it to happen.
“I don’t care,” Tobias Snape said, his expression ugly as he pulled his belt loose. “You know what to do.”
Severus gave his father a murderous glare then slowly knelt down beside his bed, resting his forehead on the blankets and clenching his fists in his trousers. A moment later a whistle-crack resounded throughout the room and Severus choked back a cry as the belt whipped into his back. The sound of the belt hitting clothed flesh was joined by first Tobias’ grunts as he put some effort into it and then Severus’ small noises of pain as he struggled not to react.
After the tenth blow, Tobias straightened and sneered at his son. “Don’t forget again,” he snarled before lurching out of the room.
Severus stayed where he was, breathing harshly, his tears soaking into the blanket and hate for his father filling his mind.
Title: The Shrieking Shack Author:katling Pairing/Character: Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, Albus Dumbledore Rating: PG Warning: None Word Count: 1171 Summary:That night and its aftermath. (Sev is 16)
Severus crept along the rocky tunnel, scowling fiercely. Black had told him that if he really wanted to know what was going on with Lupin, he’d find it at the end of the tunnel. He’d been convinced that Lupin was a werewolf but now had some second thoughts about that. Gryffindors were predictable and one of the things you could rely on with them is that they wouldn’t deliberately put others at risk. It had something to do with nobility apparently.
So it therefore followed that if Lupin truly was a werewolf then Black wouldn’t send him down this tunnel. Severus’ scowl deepened. What else could be wrong with Lupin then? It had seemed the only logical answer for his regular disappearances. Each and every one occurred on the full moon.
He left that thought where it was as he came to a wooden door. He frowned as he examined the door. It was locked on the tunnel side. He paused as a noise came from the other side of the door and listened hard. He waited for several minutes but the noise was not repeated. It was only a matter of moments before the door was unlocked and he carefully opened it.
For a moment what was on the other side didn’t register then the werewolf snarled and leapt at him. He had only the barest moment to register teeth and fur and claws as he stumbled backwards, tripping over a rock. Just when it looked like the werewolf was going to hit him, a spell lanced past him and thumped into the werewolf’s chest, pushing him backwards.
“Moony! No!” came a voice from behind him that sounded incredibly like James Potter.
Before Severus could take in any more, he hit the ground, his head impacting with the rock wall. Just before blackness claimed him, he had the brief and very strange impression that a deer had just leapt over him.
He woke to find himself lying on a couch and a quick glance around told him he was in Professor Dumbledore’s office. He could hear the low murmur of voices coming from somewhere close by and he slowly pushed himself into a sitting position, his head pounding dreadfully as he moved.
“Ah, good, Severus, you’re awake,” he heard Dumbledore say in a relieved voice. “I was beginning to get worried. Madam Pomfrey would have been most unimpressed if I’d had to bring you to her.”
Severus scrubbed at his face with one hand then the memories of what had happened cam thundering back. He looked up at the Headmaster, seeing a pale and determined James Potter and a sullen, sneering Sirius Black standing near the desk out of the corner of his eye.
“You’re letting a werewolf attend the school?” he spat out, feeling angry and betrayed.
Dumbledore’s face became stern. “Yes, I am, Mr Snape. Young Mr Lupin deserves an education as much as any other child.”
“But he’s a danger to us all,” Severus replied angrily. “Especially with friends like Black.”
Now the expression the Headmaster’s face could only be called cold. “Mr Black will be dealt with however do not forget that you are as much to blame as he is.”
Severus’ eyes widened in disbelief and he could feel the tentative trust he’d had in the Headmaster shatter into so many fragments. So there was no refuge for Slytherins with this man. Avery and Mulciber had been right... everything they’d said was right. Dumbledore was like every other Gryffindor; he protected his own even when they were in the wrong. He would always favour Gryffindors over Slytherins. He was not to be trusted.
The cold expression had not left Dumbledore’s face when he spoke, “I must have your silence on this matter, Mr Snape. I insist upon it. I will not have Mr Lupin disadvantaged because of old and thoughtless suspicions.”
Severus opened his mouth to protest but James Potter stepped forward before he could say anything.
“I saved your life,” Potter said defiantly. “You owe me... and Remus... that much.”
Outrage and utter fury flowed through Severus and for the first time he could understand how people could cast the Killing Curse. For the first time, he could understand the motivation behind wanting to use the Killing Curse. He wanted to yell at them, to snarl and rail at them but one look at Dumbledore’s face told him the story.
He would not be listened to. He could hold his silence by his own choice or Dumbledore would force an oath of some description on him. The Gryffindors must be protected at the expense of everything and everyone else.
It was like a revelation. It was like having the curtains pulled back so that he could see the shape of the world properly for the first time in his life. And it hurt. He would never be trusted, simply because he was a Slytherin. He would never be favoured, simply because he was a Slytherin. He would always be cast in the role of the villain, simply because he was a Slytherin. He would always be the butt of jokes and the culprits never punished, simply because he was a Slytherin and they were Gryffindors.
He hadn’t been sure that Avery and Mulciber were right. That what Lucius Malfoy and Rodolphus Lestrange had told him on the last couple of Hogsmeade weekends was right. But they were. This surely proved it.
“I won’t say anything,” he said with sullen anger. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Potter give a sigh of relief and Black smirk triumphantly. He rose to his feet sharply, ignoring the sickening pain in his head. He had potions that could deal with that but he had to get away from here before he lost control of his temper and hexed them all. “If I may leave, Professor? I would like to deal with this headache.”
Dumbledore gave him a long, assessing look and Severus let a little pain creep into his eyes. As he watched, the Headmaster nodded.
“Very well, Severus. Do go and see Madam Pomfrey if it worsens.”
Severus nodded curtly and stalked out of the room and down the stairs. As he passed the gargoyle, a sudden thought occurred to him. Was Dumbledore lying to them when he spoke of how evil Lord Voldemort was? He’d trusted the Headmaster in the past but now... well, now he’d been shown how foolish that trust was. If he couldn’t trust Dumbledore to be fair to him, how could he trust that Dumbledore was being fair to Lord Voldemort? The Headmaster had never offered solid proof that what he said was true after all.
As he stormed through the darkened corridors of Hogwarts, Severus made a decision. Lucius and Rodolphus had offered him an opportunity to meet Lord Voldemort if he wished. Well, now he did indeed wish that. If he couldn’t trust Dumbledore, he would have to make his own judgement on Lord Voldemort.
Title: The Yule Ball Author:katling Pairing/Character: Severus Snape/Alec Mulciber Rating: NC-17 Warning: Sex Word Count: 1331 Summary: A first time, a good time, just not with who he'd wanted. (Sev is 17)
Severus sat curled up in a chair in a corner of the Slytherin common room. He looked about sixteen or seventeen and had a book on his lap. He was leaning over it, reading intently, his hair falling lankly around his face and hiding him from view. In the rest of the common room, girls were chattering animatedly, looking pretty and excited in their dress robes, while boys also wearing dress robes were standing around looking casual and chatting wryly with each other, eying the girls with interest.
“Oy! Snape!”
Severus scowled and looked up from his book to see Alec Mulciber walking over to him. “What?” he snapped.
“Shouldn’t you be getting dressed?” Alec asked with a grin for Severus’ irritation as he leaned against the wall next to Severus’ chair. “The Ball starts soon. And you never did tell me who you’re taking.”
“I am not taking anyone because I am not going,” Severus said with a mix of acid irritation and sour bitterness. He’d heard that Lily was going with James Potter and there was no way he was going to the Ball to see that. “I have an experiment brewing in the laboratory and I need to keep an eye on it.”
“Come on, Severus,” Alec said, rolling his eyes and grinning widely. “Can’t you leave the potions for just one night? All work and no play makes Severus a grumpy boy. Besides you can’t tell me that Sluggy’s letting you anywhere near the lab tonight. The man’s a lunatic about the Yule Ball. Insisting all us Seventh Years go because it’s our last year. Man’s positively maudlin.”
Severus scowled at being caught out. Slughorn had indeed locked him out of the lab tonight, insisting that it was not a night for work but for frivolity and frolicking. Honestly the man was a disgrace as a Slytherin.
“Ha!” Alec said triumphantly. “I was right. Go and get dressed, Severus. We have a ball to go to and the ladies to impress.”
Severus gave Alec a withering look then realised that his friend wasn’t going to leave him alone. He closed his book with a thud and stalked up to their dorm. He eyed the dress robes the house elves had left lying on his bed with distaste but quickly got changed. He looked at himself in the mirror and scowled. He looked like an undertaker... or a corpse. He stomped back down to the common room and found that most of the others had already left.
“Good,” Alec said with satisfaction then he rolled his eyes. “Honestly, Severus, anyone would think you don’t want to get under some girl’s robes.” He pulled his wand out and with two quick spells he’d cleaned Severus’ hair and tied it back with a black ribbon. “Much better. Now you look like a proper Slytherin.”
Severus scowled, uncomfortable at losing his shield of hair. “Maybe I don’t want to get under some girl’s robes.” No, there was only one set of robes he wanted to get under and it looked like James Potter was going to do that instead of him.
Alec watched him intently, speculatively then glanced around and waited until the last of the students left and it was just them in the empty common room. He pulled out his wand and warded the doors, uncaring of the difficulties that might give the younger students.
“Don’t want the girls, huh, Severus?” he said, ambling towards Severus and making him back up until his back was against the wall. Alec then stopped and rested one hand against the wall next to Severus’ head. “What about the boys?”
“I like girls,” Severus said sullenly, even though he could feel excitement and arousal threading through him. He’d be blind not to notice how good-looking Alec was; he’d just never let himself think too deeply about it before. Not with most of his attention fixed on one person. But if he couldn’t have her, well...
“So do I,” Alec replied, leaning in closer. “But I like boys too.”
He didn’t let Severus make any reply, simply leaned in and kissed him. It was obvious it was something he’d done before. The kiss was deep and wet and carnal and Severus simply surrendered to it with a moan, his cock hardening almost painfully. Alec pressed against him and Severus could feel his answering hardness.
“Fuck, Severus,” Alec muttered as he undulated his hips. “And fuck the Ball.” He laughed and mouthed at Severus’ jaw. “Let me fuck you. You’ll like it. You’ll love it.”
“Yes!” Severus gasped then he couldn’t remember how they got up to the dorm or out of their robes.
The next clear memory he had was of Alec leaning over him, kissing his way down his chest, licking at his nipples and sending shivers of pleasure through him. When Alec’s mouth closed around his cock and sucked, he arched off the bed with a cry. It didn’t take long for him to come, spilling himself into Alec’s mouth. Then Alec crawled up his body and kissed him, allowing Severus to taste himself in his mouth.
“Let me fuck you,” Alec said desperately, pressing his leaking cock against Severus’ thigh.
“Fuck, yes,” Severus panted, spreading his legs eagerly. Merlin, he wanted this. He didn’t know how much before now. He’d looked at boys, felt the attraction but never done anything about it. The girls never wanted him, why would the boys? But it seemed he might be wrong about that.
Alec shifted so that he was kneeling between Severus’ legs and ran his ran up Severus’ thighs. “So fucking pale, Severus. You need to get out in the sun more. Still, if you did that you wouldn’t be displaying that great big brain of yours.” He grinned at Severus as he trailed one hand over Severus’ balls and down to his opening. “You’re not much to look at, Severus, but your intelligence is a fucking turn on. You sat there last week lecturing Sluggy on how wrong he was about Amortentia and I wanted to take you against the wall in the classroom right in front of everyone.”
Alec muttered the spell to prepare them both then positioned his cock against Severus’ arse. He groaned as he slowly pushed in. Severus hissed at the slight pain and took deep breaths, trying to relax. Alec finally stopped when he was fully seated and dropped his forehead onto Severus’ shoulder.
“So fucking tight,” he gasped. “Merlin... relax, Severus.”
Severus let out a deep breath and forced himself to relax, gasping when the pain disappeared and was replaced by pleasure. “Move,” he demanded.
“Pushy,” Alec said with a grin before pulling back then thrusting forward again.
Severus cried out again as pleasure flooded through him, making his cock harden again. He heard Alec chuckle then the other boy set up a demanding rhythm, wrapping one hand around Severus’ cock and stroking him.
Severus couldn’t stop his orgasm this time any more than he had been able to last time and as he came, semen coating his stomach and chest, he heard Alec cry out and a liquid warmth fill his arse. Alec then collapsed on top of him and he wrapped his arms around the other boy almost automatically.
When he’d caught his breath, Alec raised his head and gave Severus a quick kiss, he looked sated and smug. “Fuck, that was good,” he said happily. “Hope you’re going to let me do it again. You can do me as well. I like that too. Just don’t do anything stupid like fall in love with me or anything. I’m in it for a good time, not a long time.”
“Love is for fools,” Severus said, trying to sneer and sound bitter but only managing to sound sated as well.
Alec rolled off him and laughed as he ran a hand through the mess on Severus’ stomach. “Always knew you were a smart one, Severus.”
Title: The First Invitation Author:katling Pairing/Character: Severus Snape, Lord Voldemort, Lucius Malfoy, Rodolphus Lestrange, Rabastan Lestrange, Walden MacNair Rating: R Warning: Mentions of torture Word Count: 373 Summary: Severus discovers being favoured by Lord Voldemort is not all it's cracked up to be. (Sev is 19)
Severus stood in the shadows at the back of the room and watched as the three Muggles were systematically tortured by the Death Eaters in the room. This was not a general meeting but a gathering of a select group of individuals under the Dark Lord’s amused but watchful eye, no masks, no hiding who was who. Only the most trusted of the Death Eaters had been invited and while Severus knew that the invitation meant that his cover was holding, he would rather not have been there at all. He knew he could only hide for so long before he would be pulled into the ‘game’ whether he liked it or not.
He carefully kept his expression slightly amused and admiring as Rodolphus Lestrange and his brother Rastaban used blood-boiling hexes on two of the Muggles even though he would rather have winced at the screams. He knew that at nineteen and just over a year out of Hogwarts, the others thought he was too young to be there. But he’d passed his Mastery only a week ago, the youngest ever to do so, and that alone had made him worthy in the Dark Lord’s eyes.
“Severus,” Voldemort called and every eye in the place turned to him.
He strode forward and bowed smoothly. “My Lord?”
“Come, Severus, surely you should be celebrating your recent successes,” Voldemort said, looking pleased at the young Potions Master and gesturing towards the whimpering Muggles.
“I did not wish to presume, my Lord, not on my first invitation,” Severus said smoothly.
“Nonsense,” Lucius said urbanely, getting a nod of approval from Voldemort. The blond Death Eater waved Severus over. “Don’t let us have all the fun.”
Severus let an expression of malicious pleasure cross his face as he walked over. He pulled his wand out of his robes and levelled it at the closest Muggle.
“Crucio!” he snarled and watched as the Muggle writhed and screamed under his spell.
He ended it abruptly and pretended to smirk smugly as Lucius clapped him on the shoulder and Rastaban and Rodolphus congratulated him on the strength of his spell. He shoved down the sick feeling of nausea as he watched Macnair step forward and prepare his own spell.
Title: Why Him? Author:katling Pairing/Character: Severus Snape Rating: G Warning: None Word Count: 373 Summary: Severus makes a terrible discovery. (Sev is around 18-19)
Severus sat in his armchair in Spinner’s End and stared down at the copy of the Prophet in his hands. His face was frozen into an impassive mask and he read the tiny article at the bottom of the gossip column on page 12 again and again.
And it seems that love is in the air yet again. Recent Hogwarts graduates and Head Boy and Head Girl, James Potter and Lily Evans, have just announced their engagement. Seems there was more to those Head Prefect meetings than meets the eye!
He swallowed hard and the impassive mask finally crumbled to reveal a lost and anguished expression.
“Lily,” he murmured, his voice echoing his heartache. “Why? Why him?”
He let the paper fall to the floor and slowly got to his feet. He walked unerringly over to one of the bookshelves and pulled out a book. He opened it to the middle pages to reveal an old Muggle photograph of two children around eleven years old, both holding letters with the Hogwarts crest.
The boy, Severus, looked uncomfortable and nervous but underlying that was obvious pride and a fierce joy. The girl, a red-haired child with the signs of the beauty that would be hers already there, looked delighted and happy.
He shifted the Muggle photograph to reveal a second one, this one a wizarding photograph. He couldn’t remember who had taken it but he remembered when. It was the last photograph taken of them together before he’d ruined everything with that one stupid, unthinking word. They had been studying together in the library. In the photograph, Lily kept giving him encouraging and cheerful looks, intermixed with laughing responses to his grumbled words. But when she wasn’t looking, the Severus in the photo looked at the red-haired girl with longing in his eyes.
He ran his fingers over the Lily in the photo and she paused and looked out at him, smiling happily. He stared at the photograph, shaking slightly.
“I wanted it to be me,” he said in a lost voice. “I love you.”
He slammed the book shut and shoved it back on the shelf. He whirled around and stalked towards an open door, walking through and slamming the door behind him.
Title: I Will Do What I Must Author:katling Pairing/Character: Severus Snape, Poppy Pomfrey Rating: R Warning: Mentions of violence Word Count: 606 Summary: Severus returns from a mission with more injuries than Poppy was prepared for.
Severus was devoutly glad that Poppy had taken him into a private room since as soon as she had seen the extent of the damage to his chest and back, she had insisted that he strip completely so that she could see everything. He could see her face getting pale and shocked as she ran her wand down him. Between the diagnostic spell and what she could see, he knew the conclusions she would be coming to.
The general bruises and abrasions he could have gotten from anywhere but it was the other injuries that told a tale. Finger shaped bruises on his arms, his shoulders, his hips. Livid bite marks on his neck and shoulders, his nipples, his inner thighs. His bottom lip puffy and red. And he knew her diagnostic spell would find tearing in his arse. The pain alone had told him that. It would all add up to a picture she wouldn’t like at all.
He knew she had come to her conclusion when she strengthened the privacy wards on the room.
“Severus?” she said worriedly.
“I’m fine,” he said shortly.
She slammed her hand down on the bed and gave him a furious look, actually startling him for once. “Don’t you dare lie to me, Severus! Don’t you dare sit there with those injuries and tell me that you’re fine! I am not stupid. You have been mauled and... and raped. Do not tell me you are fine.”
“It was not rape,” he snapped.
Poppy’s fury seemed to grow at that. “Severus Septimius Snape...”
Severus overrode her. “It was not rape!” he said harshly. “I knew what he wanted and I let him do it.”
Poppy stared at him, speechless and shocked. “Why?” she demanded.
“Because he had information I needed,” he replied shortly.
“For whom?” Poppy asked stiffly.
Severus paused for a long moment. “Albus.”
“Albus told you to do this?” she said with utter shock.
“No,” Severus snapped. “He does not know and you will not tell him.”
Poppy stared at him for a long moment, aghast. “Severus, I cannot conceal this from him.”
“You can and you will,” he said flatly.
“He would not want you to do this,” she pleaded.
“It was the only way to get the information,” Severus replied.
“Surely there was another way?” Poppy said, eying the injuries Severus was sporting with increasing distress.
Severus shook his head. “I had tried. This was the only way I could gain access to his home in a way that would not get me killed. And Albus needs this information urgently. He does not need to know how I got it.”
Poppy stared at him helplessly for a long moment. “Severus,” she said, the name sounding almost like a plea.
Severus sighed and took her hand in his. “I do know what I’m doing, Poppy. I would not have permitted this unless it was necessary. I will be fine. I am not... traumatised. Angry, infuriated, slightly humiliated, certainly, but not traumatised.” He paused and arched an eyebrow at her. “In pain though.”
Poppy gave a start and snatched her hand away. The look she gave him though was one of apology, understanding and more than a little affection. She raised her wand to his lip and prepared to heal him.
“Everything must be healed or be able to be disguised,” he said before she started. “I have Fifth Year Gryffindors and Slytherins in two hours and another one of Potter’s wretched Occlumency lessons tonight. They cannot have even the slightest suspicion that anything has happened.”
Poppy gave him a long look then nodded and got to work.
Title: The Lightning-Struck Tower Author:katling Pairing/Character: Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Draco Malfoy Rating: PG Warning: Character Death Word Count: 526 Summary: Severus reflects on a hideous night.
Severus pounded up the stairs towards the Astronomy Tower, hoping with everything he had in him that this wasn’t going to get out of hand but suspecting it already had. He’d been forced to stun Filius and he hoped he’d have a chance to apologise and explain things to the man. He actually liked and respected the tiny Charms Professor; they’d spent many evenings playing chess and discussing experimental charms and potions.
He burst out onto the tower and saw immediately that it had all gone to hell. Then he felt the Vow curl around him and demand he take action. Relief mixed with despair and rage inside him. Draco couldn’t do it. That was a relief. He hadn’t wanted the boy to kill but that meant it now fell to him. He had no choice.
He looked over at Albus and their eyes met, the thoughts flying between them at lightning speed.
“Severus, you know what to do. Protect Draco. Protect Harry.”
“NO!” Severus’ mental voice was filled with a deep denial tinged with anger and self-loathing. “I can’t. I won’t.”
“You must. You promised. You know I am dying anyway. Fulfil the Vow. Do it!” Albus’ voice lashed out in an unmistakable order.
Severus raised his wand, unable to keep the hatred and loathing for himself off his face. He hoped that those watching would assume it was directed at Albus. He gathered every ounce of that self-hatred and self-loathing, his helpless rage at the situation and his fury at the Dark Lord and flung them into the spell.
Severus sat in his armchair in his house at Spinner’s End, staring into the fire. Draco was asleep on the sofa, Severus’ cloak thrown over him. Even in his sleep, Draco looked drawn and shocked. Severus couldn’t stop shivering even though he had stirred the fire up until it was blazing. The more clinical part of his brain knew he was probably in shock.
He raised both hands and scrubbed at his face. When he dropped his hands, his face was open, every emotion there to be seen. Self-loathing, self-hatred, a bitter despair, grief, guilt and a lost expression that wouldn’t be out of place on a small boy.
“What have I done?” he murmured, his voice broken and lifeless.
He looked over at Draco and the emotions on his face changed. Worry, concern and annoyance all flickered over his face to be replaced with resignation and something that might have been affection. Might even have been something more. He could not have let the Vow take him. That would have left Draco unprotected. Not mention left the tasks Albus had set him unfinished.
He rose from his chair and crouched down next to the couch. His hands lingered over Draco’s hair, not quite touching.
“What am I going to do with you?” he murmured. “Why didn’t you listen to me?”
He stood up and returned to his chair, slowly getting his emotions back under control. He went back to staring into the fire. The Dark Lord was not expecting them until morning. He had that long to think of a way to protect Draco.