She tried to calm down, she really did, but she could see no way out of this mess she created, and all she really knew was that she couldn't tell the truth. Pansy would write Draco at once, and he'd probably just tell her what a horrible mother she was. It would be true too. She was a horrible mother. And a failure.
Still she managed to pull back far enough to blow her nose.
'I just...' she swallowed, her voice broken by sobs. 'I can't get passed it, Pansy,' she nearly whispered, and for all intents and purposes it was the truth. She couldn't get over the miscarriage, the grief, the pain. That was why she needed her escape.
'I don't sleep at night, I haven't since I woke from the coma and the Healers won't give me more sleeping potion so there is no way for me to sleep. And then at day I'm so exhausted that I collapse, or I find myself staring at the wall for hours not able to snap myself out of it.'
She tried to dry her tears, but gave up when she found it impossible. 'Justin is nearly done with the house and I haven't even been able to look at it, not once. I keep remembering it was for the four of us, that she should have been born now, that there was a room in that house for her that won't be needed now.'
'I'm a mess Pansy, but I just don't know what to do, I'm so tired, Pansy. Constantly. I just...I can't cope.'