InsaneJournal

JACQUELINE CRUISE | "Just this evening Hub City saw three teen superheroes take on both the Markovian mob and the infamous Royal Flush Gang. These three teens -- identified as Kid Krypton, Lagoon Boy and Huntress -- succeeded in disrupting an apparent money train of alleged bribe money coming into Hub City and the apprehension of four of the five members of the Royal Flush Gang. Police have informed us that the only gang member still at large is the one known as Jack. As you can see in this amateur footage captured of tonight's spectacle that we are now showing, Jack's flying card was damaged early on in the fight, forcing him to flee early on. Our three heroes of the night stayed on scene just long enough to answer a couple questions."

KID KRYPTON | Kid Krypton stands smiling, perhaps feeling a little awkward in front of all the cameras. To her sides just behind her are Lagoon Boy and Huntress. Lagoon Boy is waving at the cameras, while Huntress appears to be intensely skulking. "Um, hi. Thank you. We were just trying to help. We're all friends, so we thought it made sense to work together on something like this." She raises her eyebrows at a question about what they're calling themselves. "Oh, we -- we don't really have a name. Yet. I mean... we haven't talked that far ahead, you know?"

ROXANNE FUENTE | "Some said it was bound to happen eventually. Others that if it hadn't happened already, it never would. Tonight, the drunken festivities of one man's birthday party turned to piracy as he and a small group of friends somehow managed to not only board the mock pirate ship in front of the Treasure Island casino but take control of the vessel. The result? A standoff with the police lasting more than an HOUR. That's right. The police could do little to pull this ship over as it floated around the tiny lagoon. In the end, the newly minted pirates were done in by their own intoxication, which when combined with the rocking waves of the boat had unfortunate consequences. We have footage here of the alleged birthday boy himself being taken by police officers."

REX | Rex stumbles around, being guided by two police officers. There's an eyepatch poorly strapped to his head -- it doesn't even cover an eye -- and a stringy fake beard on his face. "Arrr! I be... sick. Oh man." After some hesitation in which it seems that he'll be all right, he is shoved in the back of a patrol car.

ROXANNE FUENTE | "Reportedly, the Treasure Island has said they will not be pressing charges."

KRIS NELSON | "Hub City had some unusual weather for this time of year. Did you hear? Let's see... approximately seven to eight MILLION dollars in cash cards rained from the sky. Forecasters believe the system has passed for good, so all you people can go back indoors now. On a side note... hey kids, I know you wanted to make sure we appreciated the effort, but I think you could have gotten the same amount of appreciation with a mere one or two million. Ah, kids. They just don't grasp the value of money like we do, huh?"