who alec and izzy where kitchen of the institute when afternoon, backdated to the day after magnus' said he needed a break what alec is a zombie rating/status low and complete
A bowl of cereal sat on the counter and it was starting to get soggy. The pieces of cereal had sit in the milk too long, but Alec couldn’t seem to bring himself to care. His spoon dangled from his fingers as he sat there staring at nothing. His gaze was unfocused and he even looked like he wasn’t all there. Actually it kind of looked like Alec had fallen into a pile of clothes and had emerged wearing things he normally wouldn’t have. He was wearing gym shorts for once in his life and an extremely faded t-shirt. What was once black almost looked brown now and had a few holes.
A break. Time away from each other.
The spoon clattered from his fingers and he shoved the bowl of cereal across the countertop hard. Cereal, bowl, and milk headed over the edge of the island and plummeted to the floor. A loud sound of the bowl shattering filled the kitchen and all Alec could do was bury his head in his hands.
Magnus Bane wanted time away from him. He swore it wasn’t anything Alec had done, but he couldn’t shake the feeling it was because of him. He was from the wrong time. He wasn’t the right Alec yet. “Damn it, damn it, damn it,” he chanted barely above a whisper. He had an Institute to run, Shadowhunters to lead, and all he wanted to do was, well, nothing. How could he lead everyone if he felt like he was on the verge of being swallowed by his emotions?
--- Izzy wandered into the kitchen in time ti see the bowl go skittering across the counter. Then she took in his appearance and dropped what she was holding with a clatter.
“Fuck. Alec what happened????” She was at his side in a second. There was no one she'd go to bat for faster than her brother. Jace was next, Max third (since she didn't see him as often). In that order no less. “Talk to me" she was worried, her face said it without hesitation.
She cleared away the mess he'd made with a sweep of her arm so she could get closer. He'd have help. He had Izzy. Izzy was here to help him like she did back home.more so here because it was them.
****
He had noticed Izzy enter the kitchen, but he wasn’t really surprised when she was at his side in a matter of seconds. Alec barely glanced at her as he breathed in deeply, his breath sounding shaky. How could he explain what was happening without making his sister upset? He cared deeply for her well being and didn’t want to upset her. Yet, he needed to tell her what was going on. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
The Lightwoods didn’t need to keep things from each other. After a long silence he finally looked at her with bloodshot eyes. “Magnus,” his voice cracked slightly. “He wants to take a break. If I didn’t agree to it then...breakup. I got in a fight with Jace when I backed away from duties and now look at what happened!” He slammed a fist into the countertop and felt the skin on his knuckles split slightly. The faint burning pain barely registered as he swore loudly.
“I love him, Iz! What did I do wrong? I had to have done something.” Alec still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he was on a break with Magnus. No, that wasn’t it. He didn’t want to be a on break. He wanted to be there for Magnus Bane, Instead he was lost in his own thoughts and drowning quickly.
--
Izzy stared at him in shock. Magnus, who had chased her brother until he admitted his like for the man, had asked for a break?! She stared for a moment longer then jumped as her brother hit the counter.
She grabbed a wet cloth and then his hand, focusing her anger at Magnus to cooling off his knuckles. She frowned deeply, but her eyes were deadly. She wanted nothing more than to shake Magnus by the ear.
“I don't know, Alec, but heaven help me, I'll find out.” Not that she was going to give her brother the option to tell her no. She'd urged the pair together. She was down right angry that Magnus had given him such an ultimatum.
Izzy laid the cloth over his knuckles then caught her brother up in her arms, hugging him to her tightly. She was going to be her brother's life preserver and not allow him to drown and wallow. Not on her watch.
***
---
He didn’t fight her when she grabbed his hand. Instead Alec just sat there with the vacant look on his face. The normal light in his eyes had dulled slightly and he could care less if his hand was injured. It was her words that caused him to actually look at her as a panicked expression appeared.
“He said he wants space. I don’t think my sister going after him is going to count as space. I don’t want-” The words were cut off as he was pulled into a hug. Alec’s eyes widened for a brief second before he returned the hug. The hug he gave her was desperate, showing just how lost he was feeling. Normally he avoid this type of affection and only hugged when the situation really called for it. Now he was hugging his sister like he didn’t know how to do anything else.
“I’m just so confused, Iz.” His heart honestly felt like it was breaking. This was a feeling he had never really experienced before and he didn’t quite know what to do. He had been so happy when Magnus and he had finally spoken in Daytona, but now? He almost wished they hadn’t talked. A selfish thought on his part. If they hadn’t talked then he wouldn’t be dealing with this feeling. He just wanted it to stop and he just wanted Magnus.
-- Izzy cradled him and minded him like she could take the heartache away with just this. She wanted nothing more than to take the pain away. But no matter what she wouldn't be able to. It's not how life worked.
She hushed him. “Don't give a shit. You didn't tell me. I figured out and went after him myself.” Izzy would lie to save her brother's butt. She'd hug him like there was no tomorrow. Izzy wasn't a stranger to heartbreak, she'd never really been in love, but she still knew the pain. She had never wanted him to feel it.
She smoothed his shirt down and sighed. “First we get you back in real clothes. I know I want you in colors but this isn't right. Then we'll get ice cream, because this calls for ice cream. Or sparring and alcohol.” She rested her head against the top of his and sighed.
“I'm sorry Alec, there's no reason for it. We'll figure it out, I promise”
*--
The words went in one ear and out the other. Izzy could lie to Magnus all she wanted, but he didn’t really want her talking to his...boyfriend. Alec wasn’t going to stop her because he just didn’t care. Though, maybe it was a part of him wanted to know why. Maybe Magnus would tell Izzy what was going on since he clearly felt he couldn’t tell Alec.
“Whatever,” he settled on saying. His sister was going to do what she wanted anyway. There was no point in trying to stop her or that was what he was telling himself. Some sort of damage had already happened between Magnus and him so what would his sister talking to the warlock really hurt? The remark about his clothes had him blinking in mild confusion. What was wrong with his outfit? Besides the fact he looked like he was wearing his laundry.
“Alright….if we are eating ice cream I just want vanilla.” He wasn’t a huge fan of many flavored things that were sweet. At the moment he didn’t really want any food, but somewhere deep down he realized he needed to eat something. “Maybe alcohol. I sparred with Mark last night or was it this morning? It was dark…”
Alec let out another sigh before he flexed his injured hand slightly.
---
“Ice cream with a side of alcohol. If you're still dead on your feet like a zombie, then I'll beat the mope out of you.” Violence solved everything along with booze.
Izzy would do what she wanted when she wanted. She didn't care who said what. This was her brother after all, she would go to hell and back for him. And if Magnus made him hurt? Izzy was off the wall angry.
“Get up, let's go. I can't handle this. We'll patch this broken heart and pour alcohol down it until we figure out what is Magnus is on and fix it.” ***
Alec made some sort of grumbled noise that might have been rude or just a noise. There was no real way to be sure since he wasn’t even sure what he had done. After a moment he pulled away from the hug so he could run a hand through his disheveled hair.
“Fine,” he finally said before actually looking at the angry knuckles. Despite having punched the counter not that long ago he couldn’t honestly remember doing that. His depression was doing its best to make him not care about things. His stele was in his room so he couldn’t even place a healing rune on himself. He sighed and glanced at his sister.
“So...I’m guessing first stop is different clothes?”
--- Hers was in her back pocket, she'd been in her room a few minutes earlier. She finally found her brain functional on a level that wasn't angry as hell and pulled it out. “First let me take care if that"
As she drew the lines of the rune she wished dearly it would take his heartache away. She knew nothing could but time, but she still wished. A heavy sigh escaped her lips, she was unsure of how to fix it all.
“Now yes clothes” she said softly.
*** Alec blankly stared at the rune being drawn on his skin. Normally he would have felt the pain from the mark being burned into his flesh, but this time he barely noticed. The mark flared to life and the split skin on his knuckles began to heal. “Thanks,” he said in a distracted tone as he flexed his fingers. The pain was gone along with the broken skin.
“Okay.”
Without a word he turned and started heading towards his bedroom.His footsteps were silent as they walked through the Institute. In no time they were reaching his bedroom where the door was already open. His bed wasn’t made and the room was kind of in a state of chaos. Alec stepped into the room and moved to just sit on the edge of his bed.
-- Izzy tucked her stele away before following him. His lackluster attitude worried her. He was stoic but this wasn't that. This was barely functional. She didn't like seeing her brother this way.
“Alec!” She snapped at him. “Wake up. Look at your room. It's a mess. Jeez, I know he just stomped on your heart like an asshole but if you fall apart, you can't show him what he's missing by being an idiot.” She stalked to a closet and grabbed him some training clothes that were more Alec.
***
Being snapped at made him glare at her. After a few swear words he stood up and made his bed a tad aggressively. The sound of the sheets snapping as he pulled at them filled the room, but despite that, Alec somehow managed to make his bed. The corners weren’t perfect, but it wasn’t a mess anymore.
“Happy?” He flourished a hand at his bed as if he was showing off some magic trick before sitting down on the edge again. Izzy was right. He couldn’t go to pieces, but he didn’t really know how to hold himself together. Alec let his dark gaze travel across the mild mess in his room. Damn it, now it was starting to bother him. In no time he was straightening up the mess and ignoring his sister some. Just because he was hurting didn’t mean he had to live like a slob. He picked a book up and stopped his motions. A frown appeared on his face before he hurled the book at his bed.
Alec wasn’t doing very well with the break.
--- Izzy didn't mind him snapping at her. If it shocked him into doing things, that was fine. She didn't care. She just couldn't stand seeing him like this. She sighed softly. “Come on, Alec, you're strong. You've got the will to move on.” She sat down next to the book.
“You need to tell him how you feel, because it's not going to work any other way. You need an answer. You can't let him tromp all over your heart like this.” she looked at her brother with concern.
She was worried about him. This wasn't going to go well for long.
**
“I don’t feel strong right now,” he muttered before moved to sit next to his sister. He felt like there was something squeezing his heart to the point of near explosion. How could Magnus have such a strong grip on his feelings like that? He knew he was in love with the Downworlder, but he had never once thought something like this would happen. This place...it messed with people. There were things Alec had kept to himself that he hadn’t told anyone else, but it hadn’t really been on purpose. In the beginning it had been. Now? He just never found a good time to talk about things.
“He told me to leave him alone, Iz. I am supposed to wait.”
Alec sighed before falling over on his side on the bed. “I hate this. I am better then this, but I can’t seem to make myself believe that. What is wrong with me?”
--- Izzy tucked her legs under her, and sighed softly. “Please, if I've learned anything over the years, it's when they say leave them alone, you try at least once. It's practically a test.” A smirk as she looked over.
“Welcome to love, Alec, it's confusing, it hurts, it's worth every minute.” Not that Izzy had been in love but still… she understood it. “You'll be ok, I promise. You just need to fight for what you want.”
Izzy flopped backwards and looked at his ceiling. “I promise, you'll get him back. This place isn't easy.”
***
“A test?” Alec couldn’t help scoffing slightly. Magnus had seemed pretty serious about being left alone, but maybe his sister was right? She had dealt with more relationships then he ever had. Maybe tomorrow he would send the warlock a text, just not today. Today he didn’t have a strong enough grip on his emotions to do anything.
He snorted slightly and draped an arm over his eyes. “I used to think Shadowhunters didn’t have time for emotions, but I royally screwed myself in that regard. Magnus captured my attention from the start and I fought it at first, but...I gave in and now look at me.”
After a moment he shifted so he could put an arm across his sister in a slight hug. “No, this place isn’t easy. Things will sort out, one way or another.”
--- Izzy smiled a bit. “We just don't have time for emotions in the field. They get in the way of doing our jobs efficiently. But outside that, you can't ignore them forever.” She watched him with a faint smile. “I knew he'd caught your eye long before you did, but I'm so glad you gave up fighting it"
She smiled and tucked into the hug loosely. “I've never seen you happier, I just want to see you stay that way.” She chewed on her lip a bit, glad they were close siblings. She still wanted to beat Magnus for running her brother through the wringer though.
“Yeah, could be worse.”
***
Alec let out a faint sigh and closed his eyes. He’d be lost without Izzy or Jace around. He was extremely thankful that his sister was there for him now. At some point he was going to have to make amends with the Jace he had given the royal beat down too. He didn’t want either Jace angry with him anymore.
“Yeah?” He supposed he had been happier, even here in Daytona, until Magnus had started acting weird. His lips pursed slightly in a frown and he let out another sigh.
“I’m just going to focus on running this Institute. At least for a bit, keep my mind off of things.” Not the healthiest thing, but it would at least stop him from being a dazed state all the time.
--- Izzy closed her eyes and lay there thinking for a few minutes. She was grateful her family was here. She was thankful that she could be here for Alec when he needed her most. She'd never wanted anything else for him except to be happy. He’d have to make amends with Jace and Jace 2.0 on his own though. She wouldn’t get in their way.
“Yeah”
She ran her nails through her hair and leaned on her brother. “We’ll focus on the Institute, and get ourselves secure in our footing here. But you have to promise to talk to him at least once.” she leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I’m still incredibly proud of you, Alec.”
****
There was a part of him that didn’t want to talk to Magnus, but he knew he should. He made a face of disgust before finally sighing a tad loudly. “I promise, Iz. I will talk to him.” Just not anytime soon. Alec wanted to let his emotions kind of cool down a bit before he tried to talk to his boyfriend. He didn’t react often, but when he did those moments tended to be intense. Somehow being intense at Magnus seemed like a very bad idea.
“And yeah, Institute is our main focus.”
He hadn’t expected so many people to end up living with them, but it was a good thing. The more Shadowhunters they had the better. He was already starting to think about patrolling and training schedules. They were Shadowhunters and that meant they had a job to do.
-- Izzy smiled and nodded firmly. “Alright then.” simply as she slithered free from her brother and got to her feet. She stretched languidly. “Until then, let’s go. I think we’ll work out the tail end of this depression with a little ass kicking.” she grinned wickedly as she tossed a wave over her shoulder. “Get changed, I’ll see you in a bit.”
Izzy was smiling though, because she knew he’d be alright. He’d pull through and figure it all out. Eventually. Even if it took awhile.
She just had to try to not kill Magnus in the mean time.