Daniel was no one that Shane ever wanted to be, but he didn't have much of a choice in the matter. He had the odd, surreal experience of seeing himself, seething outside R1, and he knew then whose experience this was. At this point if these things weren't real he was officially committable, and he preferred the former to the latter. Stranger things had happened in the building, anyway.
The memory finished, and he found himself against the wall beside the door to his apartment, looking up at the ceiling, waiting for those horrible, thick feelings to fade. He'd known Daniel was suicidal, in an academic, theoretical sort of a way. But he hadn't really known what that meant until just now, and the weight of it was incredible. The other memories had been more distant, further from the emotion of the moment. That one had been all emotion and barely image at all. He felt disoriented.
He opened the door to his apartment, stumbled inside, and shut it behind him. He was going to need time to process that memory, the pieces of it not quite meshing, united only by sickeningly strong self-loathing.
He might understand it now. Might. What had driven Daniel to manipulate him the way he had, what had made him want to end his own life that badly. Anything, anything at all to make that feeling go away.