Who: Cole and Ileana What: Dreamscape assurance that they're both still alive Where: From where they are to their dream When: Backdated to Saturday night of last week Warnings: Creepy killer-y things, depressingness, and potentially making Des cry. Notes: I'm issuing a formal apology to Des so she doesn't break my knees.
Cole had been missing now for almost a full week and she had been running in to every roadblock due to this building. The police seemed to forget she was there the day before, holding his picture in their face to make them remember that they needed to actually help her. She finally stopped going in to the police station by Thursday, sure if she did she'd collapse or end up in jail for attacking the police officers who told her there was nothing they could do. It didn't mean she had gave up yet, she just went looking for as many alternatives as she could.
Ileana sat hunched over her laptop in 802, having come down to feed Salacia and just never got back off the couch. Her screen was filled with windows to contact different Missing Persons organizations, but the information was blurring in front of her tired eyes. She sat back, reaching over to scratch Salacia behind her ears. "We can take a short break, right?" she talked to the black cat, "Then back to work."
She hadn't slept more than a few hours at a time and it was beginning to catch up with her. She rose to her feet and headed in to the bedroom. Hesitating for a moment, she climbed in to Cole's bed and grabbed his pillow, hugging it to her chest and breathing in slowly. The small glimmer of comfort was enough to relax the exhausted woman, letting her drift away.
The dark seemed to fade away to a familiar landscape of wide open plains with it's tall, green grass that brushed her legs. Her dreams usually were dark, frightening images, but this was calm. A peaceful sky with slow passing clouds and endless miles of warm earth beneath her bare feet. For once, there wasn't any pain in her limbs or trouble breathing around a shattered heart.
A slow wind blew her hair around her face as she began to walk, looking around for something else within this place.
Cole didn't know he'd been held captive for nearly a week. He had no way of measuring time and thus lost count of the days and hours, unable to even discern between night and day. All he knew was that he'd been in the white room for what felt like decades. The handcuffs had rubbed his wrists and ankles raw, only adding to the pain that seemed almost like a second skin. Jason was determined to destroy everything human about him and morph him into Jacob, a twisted monster born of a psychopath's sick delusions. The television was almost always on, although it had progressed from showing him documentaries about cannibalism to 'home videos' of a much more hands-on approach to things the documentaries talked about. The side of his head still throbbed from the vicious blow he'd been dealt for refusing to look at the screen.
So he watched. He saw the evil man was capable of as he sat, chained to his chair, only occasionally being allowed the use of his hands. He'd long since overcome his disgust for the jerky Jason fed him - he would starve him sometimes, and when that food finally came Cole didn't care what the hell it was as long as it would help ease the sharp pains in his stomach.
He'd all but given up, clinging to sleep as his one refuge from his inevitable descent into darkness. Part of him even hoped that maybe, just maybe, one of these days he wouldn't wake up. Weary from another day of videos and beatings, Cole allowed his eyes to close as he drifted into sleep. During the past week all his dreams had been nightmares, full of pleading women and blood and torn flesh, but right away he knew this dream was different. There was no pain, no shadows; instead there was an endless expanse of sky and a sort of calm peacefulness that felt oddly foreign.Was he dead? In a coma? Or was he finally being allowed to have one good dream in the midst of all the other horror?
His gaze was slow and lazy as it moved across the landscape, pausing once he caught sight of a brown-haired figure in the distance. For a moment he hesitated, afraid that this would turn into another bloody nightmare, but his feet moved of their own accord and led him closer to the achingly familiar person he didn't think he'd ever see again - not in reality, at least.
Ileana knew this place like the back of her hand, another place the circus would've stopped during the trailing end of summer. She'd run through the fields sometimes, just running until her legs hurt and she'd lay out and dream. There was a soft ache of missing that -- missing home and safety. If worse came to worse, it's the place where she'd disappear to when the city continued to be cruel and vicious.
She squinted up at the sky for a moment, smiling at the sunlight she seemed to miss. It took her a few moments to realize the feeling of being watched. When her gaze scanned for the reason why, she went still at the approaching figure. The face that she didn't know she'd ever see again, the one who she was so scared of being dead. Her mind struggled to catch up, but her body went on autopilot from slow footsteps to breaking in to a run directly to him.
It took her breath away to collide right in to his arms, but she held on tightly and didn't let go. "Cole, oh my god," was all that she managed.
He didn't expect to actually be able to feel her arms around him, since he figured she was just a figment of his imagination incorporated into a dream - there to taunt him with what he could never have. But she felt real, like this was real, and it caught him off guard. For a few moments he couldn't speak, his mind struggling to process what was happening with little success.
"Ileana?" Oh God, what if this wasn't a dream? What if-- no, he didn't want to think about that. Cole pulled her close, reveling in the feel of actual human contact that didn't involve pain, before grasping her shoulders to get a better look. "Are you okay? You're not... he didn't... is this a dream?"
All she knew for a moment was she didn't want to let go and think too hard about anything else. He felt solid and alive for the moment, but she was scared that if she let go it would fade too quickly away. She only pulled back a little when he did, giving her a look over. Here, fortunately, didn't show the damages of both the building and the little care she was paying attention to herself in the waking world.
"I'm...," she stopped and her eyes filled with tears in relief, "This is a dream, isn't it? You're alive?" She breathed out shakily, "I'm fine. I'm. He tried to convince me you were...gone. But I knew. I knew. I haven't stopped looking."
She looked healthy and unharmed, but if this was a dream then he couldn't really trust what he saw. After all, what he looked like here was nothing compared to his actual appearance. Telling her that wasn't something he planned on doing, though. "I... it has to be. I'm not dead, and if you're okay..." He flinched visibly at the 'he', knowing very well who she was referring to. "What do you mean, he tried to convince you I was gone? What did he do?" That bastard could do what he liked to him, but Cole wasn't going to let him hurt Ileana. She had to be okay, even if he wasn't.
Which mean she couldn't keep looking for him. "No," he said instantly, shaking his head. "No, please, you have to stop. You're not going to find me, and he'll find you instead-- promise me you'll stop." His hands tightened on her shoulders, clear desperation in his expression. He knew he was asking the impossible of her, but there was nothing she could do.
Her hands went up to cover his that were grasping her shoulders, while she tried to keep tears from falling. "I'm okay," she assured him, "He sent...after you were gone. He sent a thing to my door." The words were hard to push out, covering things she didn't want to think of. "It was a musicbox. The song.."
The song seemed to invade the dream for the moment, echoing through the wind. She wished she could clasp her hands over her ears again and make it go away. "It's about goodbyes. But he hasn't..." Ileana shook her head firmly, even against the look of desperation on his face. "I won't, Cole. I can't. Not while I know you're alive. I can't leave you to..to whatever.."
For a second he was confused, because a music box seemed too tame for Jason's usual style - but then he caught a few notes of the song, and the meaning sunk in. "Oh." He felt a pang of dismay when he thought of how terrified she must have been, thinking that he was dead somewhere. It would have been better if she'd kept thinking that, though; when enough time had passed she would have stopped looking and could have gone on with her life.
"Listen to me." Cole cupped her face in his hands, trying to keep calm. "I know that you want to find me. If it were you, I wouldn't stop looking either. But... you don't understand. He's not going to kill me, but if you keep looking he will kill you and I can't let that happen. Knowing that you're alive and okay is the only thing I have left right now." It was too late for him - if he was going down, then he was taking Jason down with him - but it wasn't too late for her. But now wasn't the time for truth... it was the time for lies, as much as it pained him to do it. "I promise that as soon as I have a chance, I'll get out and come find you. I'll be okay. All I need you to do is be careful and keep yourself safe." He wished there was a way he could make her understand, but all he could do was hope that she'd believe him.
It wasn't fair that even in her dreams that they felt poles apart. She wanted nothing more than to have him back home, yet he was telling her to stop looking. It was killing her inside to hear him say that it was the only way, that it was the only thing he had left to know she was alive. Unfortunately for Cole, while Ileana wasn't as clearheaded as she usually was. She could tell a lie in Cole's voice as good as she always had been able to.
His hand were warm, though, and she couldn't help but to tilt her cheek into his palm. "You have to hold on, Cole," she said so softly. "You have to come home, because I need you." She took his hand in hers, pulling back a little to turn and kiss his wrist. She tugged him back closer, closing the gap between them. "You can't break your promises, Cole. My heart can't take it."
Over the past week he'd come up with a plan, a desperate last attempt to find some sort of meaning in his life to keep from completely succumbing to the Jacob persona that had been created for him. At first his main goal had been getting away, preferably after killing Jason to make sure he couldn't hurt anyone else. But now the plan had changed - he still planned on ridding the world of his captor, but he no longer thought that returning to Bellum was a good idea. He was afraid of himself, afraid of what he might do; so he decided he would end it once and for all. If he and Jason were dead, then there would be no more danger. It was like a disease, and Cole had already been contaminated. He had to stop it before it spread.
It hadn't been too difficult to tell himself that it was for the best while he was chained to his chair, hungry and covered in bruises while images of unimaginable carnage played on the screen before him. But now, with Ileana so close and begging him to return home, he wasn't sure if he would be able to go through with it - if he even managed to escape at all. "I'm trying." His throat tightened painfully, his calm composure threatening to crumble at any moment. "I miss you, and I want to come home." He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers, wishing that this was reality and everything else was just a nightmare. All of this was horribly unfair, and he didn't know how much longer he could keep fighting. He was just so tired.
If she wasn't able to save him in a physical sense, she could at least try to keep Cole's will to live from extinguishing from the unmeasurable darkness. The stricken look on his face made her lungs tighten and squeezed her heart. She brought her hand up to touch his cheek, gently running her fingers down the familiar jawline. "I know you are," she soothed, moving her hand back to run through his dark hair and kept their foreheads pressed together.
"I miss you too. So much," Ileana admitted before she continued, "Which is why you gotta keep going for me, okay? So you can come home to me. Then we...we can go away together. Somewhere far. Safe."
He clung to her like she was the only thing keeping him alive - which, in a way, she was. He was terrified that his only choices were dying a good man or living as a monster, and both prospects scared him. Feeling like a coward made him sick, but in truth he just wanted everything to go back to normal, even though he knew that wasn't possible anymore. "Promise me we'll leave. I don't want to be there anymore, I just... I want to go away and never come back." Whether he was talking about Bellum or Jason's apartment wasn't clear, but it was likely that he meant both.
Staying strong for her sake clearly wasn't going well, but Cole couldn't bring himself to care. Whatever happened, at least he had this for a little while longer. "I'll come back," he whispered, trying to blink away the pressure that was building behind his eyes. "Just promise me that you won't put yourself in danger for my sake."
Ileana let him cling, stroking his hair softly in an attempt to give him some sort of comfort. The fear of losing Cole in any way was gnawing deep through her bones. She meant every word when she told him, "I promise, Cole. I promise you, we'll go away together. Never have to go back, we'll have each other." Ileana wished she could kiss away his fears, making it all fade off and have them wake up together in 802 and it'd all be okay.
Cupping his face in her hands, Ileana did lean in to kiss him. She whispered when they pulled apart, "I promise. You have my word. And I'll wait for you. Love you so much, Cole. You know that, right? Te iubesc, mea dragă."
Cole refused to let himself completely fall apart - he couldn't let her know how bad it was. She was worried enough, and if she knew the truth he was afraid that she'd do something impulsive and potentially life-threatening. He tried to cling to the thought of them leaving, of getting away and going somewhere far from all the chaos, but the reality was that he had no idea if he was ever going to see her again after this. It might be the last time they spent together, and the realization that it could be true made him want to scream. "I love you too. I know, I never forgot and I never will." Somehow he could feel her kiss, and he responded with a desperate desire to make it last as long as possible, only pulling away once she stopped speaking English. "What's that mean? What you just said?" he asked curiously.
While the thought that this could be the final time she sees him, she wouldn't let it dwell in her head. Not now. For now, Ileana kept a white-knuckled mental grip on the hope that if he was alive, that he'll make it home one day. Letting herself be swept away in the kiss, Ileana tried to keep the sadness out of her eyes at his desperation. Her smile was a little teasing, a ghost of her usual teasing look she'd give him. "I'll tell you when you come home," she replied, leaning up to peck at his lips again.
You mean if I come home, he thought sadly, forcing himself to at least attempt a smile. "I'll hold you to that," he said softly, although the teasing note in his voice wasn't as clear as it once would have been. Although Cole knew the dream would fade eventually, likely sooner rather than later, at least he could cling to it a little while longer. "Do you know where this is?" Usually his own dreams took place in familiar areas, but this grassy expanse of land didn't ring even the faintest chord of recognition.
"I'll teach you all the Romanian I know," she told him with a little smile, still touching his hair and sliding her hand down to cup his cheek again. She was being so tactile, just in case she'd not have this chance for awhile. Like she needed to memorize the lines of his face to commit them to memory. Ileana looked around and grinned a little at him with a soft chuckle, "Guess this is my dream then. It's Montana."
She leaned in to his arms again and told him quietly, "The circus would be over those hills. I'd run here and hide and feel so safe..." Closing her eyes for a moment, trying to regain some form of composure and keep the shake from her voice. "I'll show you it in real life one day. It's quiet out here."
The more that passed here, the easier it was to forget about what was waiting for him once he woke up. He wrapped his arms around her waist, surveying the landscape and trying to imagine Ileana running and hiding here before moving to Bellum, before all the madness began. "It's nice." Cole sighed, wondering if he'd made the right choice by choosing to live in the city. Compared to this idyllic place, New York seemed far too busy and polluted. Maybe they could find somewhere quieter, just for a while. If he was ever reunited with her again. "I'd like that. Traveling would be nice, for a bit. You can show me everywhere you've been." Money no longer bothered him - in the grand scheme of things, it really didn't matter anymore.
He'd imagined what he would say if he saw her again during the long days chained to the chair, but now that she was actually with him - in a sense - he found himself unusually quiet. He preferred to try to memorize the feel of her, the sound of her voice and the way the wind blew her hair against her face.
"If you want to, we can," she agreed to it. She probably would've agreed to anything at the moment for him. "It'd take years to see everywhere I've been. You sure you're up for years and years with me?" It was light, but she was struck with how much she did want to show him. Also, how much time she wished she could have with him. It wasn't fair that all their time could be drastically cut down. She'd give up everything to have more time. One more day, one more hour at least.
Ileana pulled back a little, tugging gently his hands to sit with her in the tall grass. The sun was still high in the sky, shining warmly down on them and Ileana curled herself close in Cole's lap. Her hand rest on his chest, right over his heart to feel it beating beneath her palm. "We'll travel," she said with a little nod, "We'll see all over America. Me and you."
He stared up at the sky, wondering if years from now he'd be alive and well, looking back on this part of his life as a nightmare better left forgotten. To be so uncertain about his future was unsettling to say the least, although here the possibilities seemed endless. He wished he could forget, even for a few minutes, and pretend that this was reality instead of a mere dream. "I think I can handle years and years, if they're spent with you."
Cole let himself be pulled to sit on the ground, leaning back on one hand and toying with the ends of her hair with the other. "Sounds like a plan to me."
Occasionally, there were times she wished she could get in to Cole's head. Even now, he was pensive and she felt as if she was holding on to the last threads. If she were to let go, where would he slip off to? If, no, when he came back to her, would she still even be able to recognize him? She inwardly shook the thoughts free and pushed them away. "If you're sure," she said, leaning in again to kiss him. "There's no taking that back if you agree to it. You'd be stuck with me."
He didn't know how much she could deduce from his general demeanor, because even though he tried not to appear like the unraveling disaster he truly was, it was impossible to pretend like he was doing just fine and wasn't the least bit rattled. She could have been hiding her own true state herself, and Cole realized that, but he didn't want to spend what little time they had together trying to get answers out of her. If this was the last time she saw him, he wanted her to have a good lasting memory of him. "I'm sure. You'd be stuck with me too, you know." Even as he returned the kiss he could feel Jacob - who he'd started to think of as a separate person entirely, rather than just a name - in the very back of his mind, disgusted at his feelings for this 'member of the inferior species'. Shut up, he thought fiercely. Not now, why did it have to happen now? He was supposed to be free of all that insanity here. It wasn't fair.
"Are you sure you won't get tired of me after a while?" Talking was the best way to drown out any other voices, at least for the time being. Back in the white room, his mouth was duct taped - it felt good to be able to speak freely.
It was impossible for either of them to pretend they were okay throughout this last week. She lacked the dark bruises around her eyes of sleepless nights spent sobbing her throat raw, but even here they both seemed frayed at the edges. Perhaps she'll be waiting for a ghost once this dream was over, but she needed this moment to last as long as she could make it. Shaking her head a little, she looked at him fondly and leaned up to kiss him on the tip of his nose with a little laugh, "I could never be tired of you."
"You'd like the circus," she told him, "We can stop where they are on our trip. Make you meet my dad and my giant extended family." Fantasizing about their travels seemed to hold off the worry of waking and fading. The seemingly impossible dream keeping them going for now. "I don't think we could ever get bored finding new places to go. Don't you?"
His smile was tinged with sadness, and as grateful as he was to have this time with her, the dream also seemed cruel at the same time - giving them a taste of what they didn't have, and might never have again. "Good."
Cole raised his eyebrows, laughing. "You think your dad would like me? Or would he and your giant extended family try to ship me off somewhere?" If there was one thing he knew about fathers, it was that they were fiercely protective of their daughters - he knew he'd be the same way if he ever had kids. "No, I don't think getting bored would be our problem. Getting broke, maybe..." His tone made it clear that he was teasing, and he knew he'd figure something out if that obstacle ever arose.
"He'd like you, because you're good at seeming like you're not sullying my virtue," she explained, "And my dad is a big softy, as long as you properly ask for my hand he'd be cool with you. Most of the rest will too, except Stefan but he doesn't count." She laughed softly against his shoulder, ducking her head to kiss right there for a moment, breathing him in.
"We'll make it work," she said decisively. There was a little part of her that broke a little inside to think of a future that they may never have, but it felt right for the moment. "Between the two of us, we're smart enough to figure shit out." She moved her hand from over Cole's heart to slide it around his waist and hold on. "Where'd you want to go when we travel?"
"Seeming like I'm not sullying your virtue?" He gave her a mock serious look. "I'll have you know I'm a man of honor, and honorable men don't sully women's virtues." Honorable? Keep telling yourself that, Cole, the Jacob-voice hissed in the back of his mind, but he staunchly refused to acknowledge it. "I can definitely ask for permission to date you - I'm good with politeness." He turned his head to the side, pressing his lips to her forehead for a moment before drawing back.
Cole didn't think he was very smart at the moment, considering he'd walked right into his stalker's trap, but he didn't mention that. "I don't know," he said honestly. "I've never really been anywhere. I think I'd like to go to California, though - spend some time on a beach doing nothing for a change."
"Of course, you never sullied my virtue," she agreed for the moment, "My virtue is well in tact." She settled close again, sighing a little when he kissed her forehead. The clouds passed over head, for a moment obscuring away the sunlight. The darkness on the horizon startled her, leaning in to Cole for a moment. "California," she tried to keep her attention away from the dream darkening around them. "We'll go to California. Maybe even settle there? Close to the beach.."
He flinched at the sudden lack of sunlight, trying to fight back his panic as the darkness began to creep in. "Yeah. I-- I'd like to live there. We'd have a nice view, and we could go to the beach whenever we wanted." He didn't want to go back to the white room with the television that showed him terrible things and the handcuffs that kept him chained like a dog, but he didn't know how to make the darkness go away. He didn't know how to stop it, and that terrified him.
"As soon as I get back, we'll leave." He tried to sound strong and assured, but his voice was shaking and he clung to her more tightly with each passing second.
Ileana clung back with an equal intensity that matched Cole's. Her own voice quivering, "Have to come back soon," she managed to get out. As darkness seemed to curl through the sky, turning the sun black and the clouds heavy and gray. Ileana wasn't going to let go, not for one second would she let go. Except that feeling of dread that this dream will end and she'll wake up cold and alone in an empty apartment gnawed at her insides.
The thought that this might be the final time she'd get to put her arms around him caused the last of the floodgates to open. She pressed her face into his shoulder, shaking with tears again. Why did she have to lose this over and over? "I don't want to leave this yet."
All he could do was try; he had nothing more to give but promises and words that might not even be able to be backed up with actions. His hands curled into fists but he kept his arms around Ileana, refusing to let go until he was literally torn from her side. Cole knew where he was going to wake up, and then the hope this dream had offered would be lost in the hopelessness of his reality. At least it would be something to cling to when things got bad, a reminder of who he had to keep fighting to protect.
"Don't cry," he said instinctively, trying to shy away from the approaching darkness and failing. "It-- It'll be okay." No, it won't. No matter how hard he tried the darkness wouldn't disappear, instead circling them like some kind of hungry shadow creature.
Ileana choked back a sob, as the dark seemed to slither up from the cracks in the earth around them. She had to hold on to this, even a minute longer was a minute she wouldn't be getting another chance at. Lifting her head, she pressed her lips against Cole's for a final time, as if was the last gift she could give him here. It didn't matter to the crumbling dream world that she needed him, rather ripping them from each other's grasp as it swallowed them whole.
"Hold on," she told him fiercely before they were wretched apart, "Please hold on for longer. I love you." Before the darkness seemed to consume them both, jolting a broken hearted girl back awake in a lonesome apartment in a building that she couldn't leave until the other returned to her.
He tried to hold on to the feel of her lips against his, to be able to remember it at a later time - but a mixture of panic and desperation was welling inside him and it was a struggle to just get words out before he was torn from her side. "I love you too," was all he managed to get out before the darkness swallowed him whole, blinding him and stealing the air from his lungs. For a few moments he struggled, thinking that this was it, that he was going to die and somehow Jacob would wake up in his body instead like some kind of demonic possession--
But then his eyes snapped open and he was back in the white room, his cries muffled behind the duct tape and limbs still chained to the chair. He could hear the faint sounds of his captor moving about in the other rooms, and in the gloom of his prison it was hard to cling to the hope he'd felt mere moments ago. Cole let his head hang forward as the tears finally broke free, choked sobs racking his throat as the dream faded away into the shadows.