InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Eep oop ork ah ah!"

Joanie Wicker | The Wicked Witch of the West (wickedwicker) wrote in bellumlogs,
@ 2010-07-12 22:37:00

Entry tags:

jim hawkins, wicked witch

Who: Russell and Joanie
What: Working on the Robot Duck
Where: 705
When: Sunday after Fail!Moon, we'll say early afternoon
Warnings: Major dork alert.

The first thing Joanie did after telling Russell that she would be over was ensure that she had gotten all the green out of her hair from the previous night's drunken shenanigans. Yes, she had learned her lesson - never do magic while drunk. You ended up with green hair and a pink cat. After seeing that her hair was, indeed, fully brown, she smeared her face with concealer to cover up the bruises and pulled on a long-sleeved shirt. Once she was presentable to the outside world, she left her apartment, locking it behind her and hopping two doors down to 705.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear with one hand, she knocked on the door with her other. "It's me!" she barked, rocking forward on the balls of her toes. "Open up, I want to see the duck!"

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themegazord
2010-07-14 01:31 am UTC (link)

Not long after Joanie had left the last time, Russell remembered their conversation about making a walking talking robot duck. Not content with distracting himself through killer video games, he settled himself into throwing all his energy into this project instead. It was a nice change of pace, and it made him happy to sit on the floor in the middle of a giant mess of gears and scrap metal, playing with a soldering iron as the duck with a toaster for part of its body attempted to flap away. He could only imagine the quacks of protest it would have been making in the process if it was real.

When he heard the knock, he couldn't help but laugh. At least Joanie was a good constant in his life. "Hey cmon in door's unlocked!" he shouted right back at her. When she entered, Russell smiled and held up the silver metal duck who still couldn't make toast. "Check it out," he beamed.

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wickedwicker
2010-07-14 01:37 am UTC (link)

For a second, she considered snapping at him about how it was dangerous to leave your door unlocked. She almost made a comment about how any crazy person could waltz in and kill him. However, just as the words filled her mouth, she realized that saying that of all things was probably the dumbest thing she could conceivably say to him. So instead she just opened the door, stepping inside and looking at the mess of metal with surprise.

"Holy shit, you weren't kidding," she said, actually surprised in a way. Holding her arms out for balance, she walked carefully towards him, keeping on her tip toes as she crossed the ocean of spare parts. When she found a small clearing, she delicately sat down, hugging her legs to her chest to compress herself into the smallest space possible. Looking at the silver duck in his hands, she grinned. "Oh man!" she said with a laugh, reaching out with one hand to pinch its bill. "That's awesome. He looks incredible, I mean, if ducks were really born with toasters in them, this is exactly how they'd look."

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themegazord
2010-07-14 04:53 am UTC (link)

In all reality, Russell wasn't thinking too carefully when he left the door unlocked other than 'Oh hey Joanie's coming over YAY FRIEND.' Other than having a constant hack to the hospital's feeds to keep a constant update on Iris, he had stuck to being a recluse to keep himself sane. Though he did take on a couple of jobs, his heart wasn't really in it. He would get back to it some day of course. He just made enough that he could take a sabbatical from his less than legal life.

The smile on Joanie's face though, that was worth something else entirely. Scooting toward her, he tilted the toaster end to her. "This is where my problem is. I had to modify the thing itself so I could get all the parts to make the duck move in there as well and now I can't get it to make toast," he halfway whined.

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wickedwicker
2010-07-14 11:05 am UTC (link)

As he scooted closer, she leaned forward, peering inside the toaster to see what he was talking about. Though she didn't know a lot about machines, she had a healthy dose of common sense, and that went pretty far. Wrinkling her brow, she looked at the trouble area.

"Uhhh," she started, reaching out and carefully pressing down on the basket part of the toaster that held the toast. "Maybe the modification is blocking something?" she said, looking up at him with a slight shrug. "So it can't make toast, because whatever mechanism it uses to start the heat can't get turned on?" She was shooting in the dark, but it was better than sitting there silently going "geee that sure is hard to figure out."

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themegazord
2010-07-14 10:58 pm UTC (link)

Russell frowned, but it was more in slight frustration over the little duck possibly being a failure. Either way, he was going to try to figure this out so he could possibly give Joanie a gift that could encompass both her birthday and Christmas.

"Hm, yeah you're probably right," he mused as he tilted the duck back and forth. "Tell you what," he said, "You hold onto the duck and come up with a name for him, I'm going to see if I can find something from his original programming and save him from being just a little pile of junk." He gingerly handed over the still flapping robot. "Hold it at the sides, it might still do something crazy." He didn't want to say 'it might explode,' but there was still that possibility. Russell dove into a pile of wires, looking to see if something might fit.

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wickedwicker
2010-07-14 11:25 pm UTC (link)

She raised a brow. "This duck had original programming?" she asked, surprised by the idea that this was actually a modification of a past robot duck. She had just sort of assumed that the programming came from some magic fairy kingdom were strange robot animals flourished and made breakfast.

As he passed over the flapping duck, her eyes widened. "Uh," she started articulately, wrapping her hands delicately around its sides. "What kind of crazy?" she asked, glancing over to watch him dig into the wires as if he were mining for gold. "Now because it's a robot, even though it's a toast-duck, will it still want to kill all humans? Because...I don't know if I want to be killed by something that turns bread into charcoal."

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themegazord
2010-07-15 06:10 am UTC (link)

Russell laughed. "Oh! No, I just mean there was the stuff I needed for the duck, and then stuff that was just for the toaster. I'm keeping it separate in my head," he explained, hoping it made some sense to her.

"Oh, no it's probably not going to do that as far as I know," Russell said, attempting to dismiss Joanie's fears. "It's not really got AI, I couldn't get my hands on that kind of stuff anyways. Ah!" he proclaimed, holding up small bundle of wires. "This used to be in the toaster. Now hold Mr. Duck still," he instructed as he flipped a switch on the rear to keep it off during the operation. "Bet it got disconnected this way."

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wickedwicker
2010-07-15 11:44 am UTC (link)

The explanation of programming only made rudimentary sense to her, but Joanie supposed that was why she hadn't been a computer programmer. It was enough for her to nod at.

Though she was still suspicious of the duck's intentions - robots did just want to kill all humans, she was sure of it - Russell's reassurances caused her to relax slightly. "Okay, then," she said, wrinkling her nose as the duck continued to flap its metal wings. As he held up the wires, she sighed with relief. She was so afraid that she was going to break the little robot if she kept holding it.

"Mr. Duck," she laughed, tilting the duck towards Russell while still avoiding its wings so he could flip the switch. As it powered down, she almost felt bad - it seemed so alive, so watching it turn off was almost like witnessing a little death. Pushing the thought from her mind, she handed the powered-off duck over to the expert, scooting after it so she could nosily watch him work.

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themegazord
2010-07-15 11:45 pm UTC (link)

Turning off the switch wasn't like witnessing a death so much as it was like giving the little robot anesthesia so it wouldn't be awake and quacking in horror as he did some necessary surgery. Plus keeping it off gave Russell the bonus of lowering the risk of electrocution down to not at all.

Carefully he pried open the center of the toaster, its insides clearly having been worked on to run a duck through it. While he was studying the current circuitry he had laid down in it, he absentmindedly asked, "So, uh, you know, what have you been up to since magic land of crazy?"

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wickedwicker
2010-07-16 12:22 am UTC (link)

Not really thinking about how it might be rude, Joanie shifted so that she was sitting close beside him, peering down into the duck's insides with interest. It was almost mesmerizing to see how everything fit together, and to watch an expert survey the landscape. She was so distracted that she almost missed his question.

Luckily, her ears were open. Blinking, she glanced to him. "Which one?" she asked with a small laugh, knowing that it wasn't exactly fresh to call all of Bellum insane. But it was the thought that counted. "No, seriously," she started, shrugging. "Just...trying to get back to normal, I guess." Which was true. Despite the fact that she wore long sleeves in June and had to cake her face with makeup before leaving her apartment to cover up the damage those Russian peasants had dealt to her, it was business as usual. "I tattooed a dolphin on somebody's ass. So I think that's a pretty good sign that things are back to normal." She laughed. "What about you? How..." She paused, glancing up at his face briefly. "How have you been?"

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themegazord
2010-07-19 12:17 am UTC (link)

Whether it was actually rude or not, Russell took the opportunity to blush and try to hide a sheepish smile as he took out the battery and began cutting and retwisting some wires together. He didn't really think nor care about how he was slowly dissolving his original mask of being the idiot gamer, since really, after all they had gone through it would be ridiculous to keep trying to hide things now.

"Oh you know, all of it, why not?" he laughed as he made a few more adjustments before closing the the body of the duck robot. As he hinged the pieces back into place, he looked over at her and smiled. "I guess it would have been in bad taste to label 'FLIPPER' on the top right? Me, I've been okay," he half truthed as he pretended to be concentrated on getting the duck ready to go. "Okay, now why don't you put these on," he said, handing a pair of goggles over to Joanie while he put his own on. "Now just to be safe why don't you stand back behind the furniture here while I turn it on. I'm sure nothing will happen but just in case!" he cheerfully exclaimed as though he was trying a jelly bean and not possibly causing instant kaboom to them both. After Joanie stepped back, he counted to three and turned it on.

Mr. Duck whirred to life, wings slowly flapping and beak opening and shutting. "Success!" he cried out. "Now hand me some bread," he indicated to the loaf of bread in the kitchen.

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wickedwicker
2010-07-19 12:23 pm UTC (link)

"Inking your butt in general is bad taste, I don't think you can make it any worse," she said with a laugh. Somebody that went through what Russell had wasn't "okay," but Joanie didn't press it. After all, it wasn't her place. So she just watched him work, taking the goggles with a raised brow. "Uh..." she started articulately, her confusion growing as he told her to step back. "If something explodes, I doubt standing a few feet away will do much good." Despite that, she did as he said, stepping behind the couch before putting the goggles on.

The count made her tense in anticipation. She wasn't sure what she was waiting for, but her nails were prickling the couch by the time he reached three. Jaw clenched, she flinched as he finally turned the duck on. When it began to flap and move like a real duck - and not an exploding one - she heaved a sigh of relief. At least they weren't going to die today.

Laughing at his enthusiasm, she straightened up. "Right away, doctor," she said with a mock salute before going to the kitchen. Retrieving the loaf of bread, she headed into the living room. Holding the loaf of bread up, she grinned. "Hey, Frankenstein!" she called, pausing with her free hand on her hip. "Catch." Hefting the loaf of bread in one hand, she tossed it to him.

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themegazord
2010-07-25 07:07 am UTC (link)

"Hey that's 'Captain' to you, First Mate!" he joked after her. Not that quick on his reflexes, the whole loaf of bread smacked him right in the face and he made a loud "Oof!" sound before managing to catch the falling loaf. Taking two slices he shoved them in Mr. Duck's body before pushing down on its tail, telling Joanie to stay standing back while he watched up close and waited.

At first, the duck stopped flapping and sat there. Nothing happened and it was clear Russell was disappointed. As he was pouting in frustration, it came back to life, turning its head around, flapping its wings and bouncing around for a few moments before it made a weird ding-quack noise, the toast popping up. Russell was so pleased he didn't even care that it was slightly burned. "YES!" he shouted, fists pumping the air. "Am I awesome or am I awesome?" he beamed up at her. Quickly yanking out the slices (and subsequently dropping them on the floor given how hot they were. "You like it?" he asked, then without waiting for an answer, possibly because he was so excited, he quickly added "Because it's yours."

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wickedwicker
2010-07-25 10:15 am UTC (link)

As the loaf of bread hit him in the face, she immediately dissolved into laughter. "Sorry," she gasped in between giggles, covering her mouth sheepishly as he caught the loaf on the rebound and pulled out two slices. At his caution, she stepped back again, squinting through her goggles to watch him pop the bread into the toaster!duck.

The duck's stillness was almost worrisome. Was this the part where it blew up? She bit down on her lower lip as seconds dragged on. Suddenly, the duck animated, flapping its wings and making a sound that was some strange hybrid between a "quack" and a traditional toaster's "ding." As the toast popped up, she grinned, giving the little robot duck - and its fearless creator - a round of applause.

Pushing the goggles from her eyes to settle atop her head, she nodding. "You're awesome," she confirmed. As he asked about her approval, she opened her mouth to reply when he cut her off with a hasty comment that stunned her into silence. Eyes wide, she stared at him for a moment before an impossible to prevent smile spread across her face. "Really?" she asked, taking a few steps closer as the duck flapped and quacked with robotic delight. "Thanks, Russell." She took a few steps towards the duck before crouching down, leaning forward against her thighs as she balanced on the balls of her feet. "I love him. Did you give him a name yet?" Clearly, all robotic ducks were male.

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themegazord
2010-07-29 10:19 pm UTC (link)

Russell couldn't help but blush as she was clapping for him. He really liked it when Joanie praised him, even if it was for something as silly as randomly making a duck robot only because she thought it was a great idea. Plus, look how happy she was now that she got a present. If Russell could keep that smile on her face all the time, that would be the first life ambition that did something for good. Well, good that included more than himself, his "employer," and the money he earned. And it was legal too!

"No, I don't have a name for him. Or her!" he hastily added at the end. Russell walked over next to her, smiling and watching her interact with the as-yet-of unnamed robotic duck, feeling his face heat up as he pondered an idea, something he hadn't ever wanted to say out loud nor act upon simply because he was afraid she'd hate him, or worse: pity him. For a nerd like Russell, he'd take straightforward dislike over any other emotion any day. "It's up to you, you know, cause it's yours and I wouldn't want to name him something silly, like, Walter, or Bea Arthur, you know?" And then without thinking, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, slightly enamored by her excitement.

Unfortunately, it led to instant embarrassment and fear. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--yeah, uh, I'm just gonna, yeah go now and I'll see you later of course, yeah." Freaking out just a LOT, he fast walked out to take a nice long walk in Central Park, not really thinking about the fact he left his own apartment and not Joanie's.

Crushes were so complicated, you know. Especially for socially awkward geeks.

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wickedwicker
2010-07-30 11:09 am UTC (link)

As he hastily changed the duck's gender, she snorted, glancing over at him. "I think it's a he," she said with a definitive nod. When he said the little duck didn't have a name yet, she snorted. "But you created him," she wheedled. As he began to list silly names, she laughed. "I don't know, I think Walter is a very good name for a robot duck. Very distinguished."

Just as she was about to say more on the subject, the last thing she had ever expected happened. Feeling his lips brush her cheek caused her to tense, muscles tightening until she was nearly still as stone. Eyes wide, she stared ahead for a moment before turning to look at him as he babbled and apologized.

Her breathing quickened as she stood, watching him speed away. "Rus-" she started uselessly, extending one hand slightly as he turned his back on the apartment and jetted out the door. For a few moments, she just watched the door while a cottony sort of numbness crawled into her head. It was like somebody had replaced her brain with blankets, and she wasn't sure what to do.

Shit.

Looking down at the duck, she bit down on her lower lip. She was trying to rationalize it. Friends did that in Europe, didn't they? But they didn't react the way Russell did. Maybe he was just so awkward that even totally platonic things made him turn red and panic. Or maybe she was in denial. She didn't know.

She considered leaving the duck, but in the end couldn't bring herself to. Scooping it up in her arms, she shifted slightly as it flapped once, quacking, before settling. She ran her fingers over its back as if it were a living creature in need of comfort, barely noticing that it was still hot from making toast. Unsure of whether to leave a note or just leave, she finally settled on just leaving.

After all, she was sure that she'd only make this worse.

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