Who: Tegan and Nick What: Time to wake up! :D! Where: The hospital ICU When: About a week after getting back from Russia Warnings:WOOBIE NICK WARNING Notes: Being from Bellum and having a sort of healing ability gives Tegan an advantage here
Tegan had lost track of time. She could hear things that went on around her, but time moved strangely when her world was just sound floating in blackness. She'd had that one dream (at least that's what she thought it was) with NickyPeter, but it seemed like ages ago, and there hadn't been another. There were times when the sounds she could hear would be sharper, more defined, but then they would fade out again to almost nothing.
At one point, she thought she might have opened her eyes, but the room was dim, with no one around, and she quickly slipped back into the darkness.
She'd noticed though, that she could hear and understand the voices that now moved around her. One especially. It talked to her, sang to her, and was there more often than not. It was familiar and soothing and she knew that if she could only open her eyes to see, that the face would be familiar too. Other voices came and went, taking about medical things and her fiance (even though she couldn't remember being engaged), and family, but none was there as much as that one.
On a day when the voice was there, talking and singing, things started to change. She felt closer to opening her eyes than she had since that one day, and she could sense more than just the voice. There was pain, for a change: neck and arm and feet. There was a strange pressure in her throat and her lungs filled on their own, steadily in and out. She could feel the fingers wrapped around hers, and even though she doubted that she could do it, she tried to squeeze them.
Nick had gone back and forth in a simple routine since he was able to talk his way in to Tegan's hospital room. Sure, it was the same trick they used in Russia to stay together, but it worked here as well. Thankfully, Tommy and Tyler had gone along with it, especially since Tommy wouldn't stop clinging to Nick's leg like he was a member of the family anyway. He was up at the crack of dawn to be at the flower shop, readying for the day with this new person he didn't trust or even like. By mid-afternoon, he left and went to the hospital until they asked him to leave then it was directly to the Bentons' apartment or maybe home to actually sleep.
It was almost numbing, the routine of it all. She didn't change, sometimes she twitched and Nick would run to get a nurse. The nurse would sit him down and tell him all over again that these things "just happened" and it didn't always mean she was waking.
So now he just sat, talking to Tegan or singing whatever song that came in his head. "I decided," he told her, "that maybe next summer we can go on a vacation. We can bring your brothers and it'd be fun. I'll save up lot of money so we can go somewhere cool. Like Disney World. Think that sounds good? Tommy might like it a lot."
He sighed and rested his head on her bed, sort of an awkward position to hold. A smile tugged at his lips when he felt her hand twitch in his. "Yeah, sounds good," he said. He went quiet before he started singing to Tegan again, "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh I believe in yesterday.."
The singing started again, closer and even clearer than before. Whoever it was, she wanted them to know she was there, to not leave her alone. It was lonely when it was just the darkness, and she didn't like it. She tried squeezing the fingers again, and was almost positive that she got some sort of pressure that time. Would the voice know what that meant?
The aching of her neck was getting worse, and the feeling of something in her throat, of having no control over her own breathing, was starting to register more. It was unsettling at best, and she could hear the ever-present soft machine beep speed up slightly along with her heart beat.
"Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be," he sang quietly to her, reaching up with a free hand to brush her bangs away from her face. "There's a shadow hanging over me, oh yesterday came suddenly..."
His song stopped suddenly when he felt a squeeze on his hand. His breath caught in his throat for a moment before he managed, "Yeah, Yesterday is depressing. You want something more cheerful?" He gently urged her, "Could you try today? Open your eyes. Just once."
She heard the voice, heard the song stop and ask the question. She tried to keep a hold of the hand in hers, needing something to ground her. The feel of the machine breathing for her was continuing to worry her, and she tried to keep herself from panicking.
It took another long moment of fighting, but Tegan finally forced her eyes open. The world was bright, unfocused, and harsh, and her eyes watered as she shut them again quickly.
Nick reached over, almost frantically pressing the call button for the nurses' station. There was no way they were going to tell him he was just overreacting, not this time. He held her hand, giving it another squeeze. "That's it," he gently urged her, "You're doing fine. I'm right here."
He leaned over the bed, holding his hand up over her face as if he could protect her from the light hurting her eyes. Nick had to swallow back the sudden rush of emotion when he saw her eyes open even for the brief moment. "Hey you," he choked out, "My Wendy is awake, huh? Did I manage to wake you up?"
Tegan could sense the light dim a bit from behind her eyelids, and struggled to open them again. She squinted up, seeing the hand there first, though everything was blurry, her eyes unable yet to focus on anything. She clung to the hand in hers as much as she could, but she had no idea how tight she was holding on.
After a moment, she was able to open her eyes more, adjusting to the light but still unable to focus. The voice was still close, quiet but clear, and she tried to turn her head toward it but was unable to move it. She tried to reach up to her neck with her free hand, but couldn't move that either, shooting pain when she tried. She pulled her hand out of the fingers that were holding hers, fumbling awkwardly to feel the brace around her neck.
She tried blinking a few times to clear her vision, wanting to at least see what was going on, but her eyes stayed blurry, like after waking up after sleeping too long. As she started processing things: her arm, her throat, the neck brace... she started panicking, breath coming faster and fighting against whatever was in her throat breathing for her.
If Tegan hurt Nick's hand when she squeezed so hard, he didn't show it. The relief showed in his face slowly turned to worry when he saw the machines start beeping loudly. She was panicking and Nick immediately tried to get her to stop, "Shh. Shh. Don't panic. It's me, It's Nicky. You're in the hospital, Tea. You need to calm down."
The doctor came in, flanked by two nurses who immediately moved him away from the bed to set to work on Tegan. The doctor spoke calmly to the girl, shining a penlight in her eyes for her responsiveness. The nurse was considering a sedative to ebb away Tegan's panic, but Nick pushed back towards the bed. "No! No, she just woke up. She needs time. Get..that thing out of her throat," he meant to demand this, but it sounded more like a helpless plea.
A few minutes later, the doctor was removing her breathing tube and they started her on oxygen instead. Nick came back in view for Tegan, standing vigilant next to her bed. They kept moving around them, but Nick stroked Tegan's hair and told her over and over, "It'll be okay. I'm right here. You just need to be calm. No one is going to hurt you now."
Tegan practically choked when they removed the tube from her throat, and the pain of it made her try to whimper. The sound barely came out, though, and it felt like acid sandpaper. The pain was starting to become overwhelming, and she wasn't able to think much past it. Tears started to gather in the corners of her eyes, slipping down into her hair as she laid there in bed.
The doctor warned her that she might not be able to speak easily for a while because of the intubation, and that she had some injures that might affect her further. She could barely process everything, and the doctor finally left her alone in the room with Nick after giving her a painkiller in with her IV. She finally started to relax as it kicked in and made her pain fade a bit.
She finally calmed enough to look over at Nick, reaching out her hand to try to grab for his again.
Nick pulled his chair as close as he could to the bed, reaching out to grip her hand in his when her hand searched for his own. He barely heard the doctor, barely paid attention to the nurse, rather had his entire attention focused on Tegan. His whole chest hurt seeing her cry, grabbing a tissue with his free hand and reaching up to dry her eyes. "It's okay," he soothed quietly, "It hurts, I know. But you'll be just fine."
When she finally calmed a little more, Nick pulled back enough to sit comfortably and hold her hand. He gave her a little smile, "Knew you'd wake up. Lot of people were worried about you, Tegan."
She was still having some trouble focusing her eyes, but she could finally make out most of Nick's face. While some memories were a confused jumble, she remembered Nick, remembered him being there (wherever "there" was). She held tight to his hand again, still scared and not quite sure what had happened, or what was going on.
Nick wasn't sure what to do now that Tegan was awake, besides smile enough that his face hurt. The pain would fade in time, but she was alive and looking at him. He gave her hand a little squeeze and calmly told her, "You're in the hospital, Tea. You got hurt really badly, but it's okay now."
He exhaled slowly before continuing, "Everything is going to be all right. You need to heal though, which is why you need to be calm okay? Tommy and Tyler are fine. I made sure of it. They need you to just focus on getting better."
Tegan squeezed Nick's hand in return. It made sense to her that she was in the hospital, with the doctor and the nurses and how much pain she'd been in before the painkillers started to take effect. She just didn't know how she got there. Somewhere on the edges of her memory, she knew that something had happened. Something bad.
She frowned and pulled her hand back so that she could point at Nick's chest, wanting to make sure that he was alright, and not in the hospital for something. She had the vague memory of him being hurt in the past. Or sick. She couldn't quite recall the specifics.
Nick gave her a confused look, trying to figure out why she was pointing at him. "Me?" he asked, before it seemed to dawn on him. "Oh! Am I okay? Yeah, yeah of course. It was...nothing. I was just a little sick, but I'm better now."
Unfortunately, Nick was an absolutely terrible liar and his entire appearance gave away him being sickly. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week with dark circles around his eyes. "Shouldn't worry too much about me, right?" he laughed a little awkwardly, "Didn't wake you up to start having you fuss.."
She blinked at him, her eyes finally starting to focus a little more, and she could see how run down he looked. She reached up, her hand shaking a little, and fingers weak and fumbling, but touched his cheek carefully. She pulled a shaky breath, harsh and rough in her throat. The way it felt prevented her from even to trying to talk, but she wanted to make sure that Nick was okay.
Her hand faltered a little before dropping to his chest, then back down to the bed, the effort of holding her arm up just too much for her to deal with. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to gather up her energy again, but it seemed like a monumental effort for her to open them again.
Nick took her hand in his, reaching up to brush her hair back. "Hey, hey. I'm fine, I told you," he told her seriously. "Don't even worry about me. I need you to concentrate on letting yourself get better." He smiled a little and gave her hand a squeeze, "I promise you can worry about me after that. Deal?"
Tegan managed a half smile, weak around the multiple tubes and machines still hooked up and monitoring her vitals. She blinked again, eyes closed even longer than before, and when they opened again, it looked like it took even more effort. She could feel herself starting to drift away, and even though she was afraid of being caught in the darkness again, she couldn't stop it. She clung to Nick's hand again, not wanting to leave him.
He watched her try to fight off sleep, frowning slightly. "Hey...you need to rest," he told her with seriousness. "When you wake up, you'll be a lot better."
Nick hesitated for a moment before he leaned over and kissed her forehead, "Rest. I'll be here when you're up again."