"I think that sounds reasonable enough. I promise not to put it up for sale on eBay." Sometimes when he was bored or couldn't sleep he would scroll through the website for the hell of it, and some of the items he saw there were downright ridiculous. A rape full of philosophical ramblings could probably make quite the profit, sadly enough.
Vlad raised his eyebrows, regarding the pitiful excuse of a man with a slight turn of his head. "It does have a sort of... unconventional charm," he said, sarcasm evident in his tone.
He resisted the urge to smirk at Max's order and the waitress' expression, ordering a gin and tonic for himself and watched her walk away slightly disgruntled. "I think you just made her night," he commented, not bothering to wait until she was out of earshot.