lotte karsten {christine daaé} (still_lotte) wrote in bellumlogs, @ 2010-03-02 16:00:00 |
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Entry tags: | christine daaé |
Who: Lotte
What: Lotte calls her foster mother; it doesn't go well.
Where: 1206
When: This morning.
Warnings: Lotte!torture and angst?
There was no avoiding it, but Lotte still put it off for a day. Explaining her own failure to Evelyn had been difficult - someone she barely knew, but still trusted. But explaining it to Valerie who'd had so much faith in her and had pushed her to go so far...it was impossible in Lott'es mind and she knew how it would end.
Still eight A.M. had Lotte at a stool in her kitchen, phone chord wrapped in her fingers and her legs pressed together. Few people called Valerie at that hour, even though Lotte knew she'd be awake. Eleven years with her informed Lotte of her habits and it only made her anxiety worse as she waited for the phone to ring.
It only took three rings before Valerie picked it up, no-nonsense and the same as ever. Lotte leaned forward on the counter as Valerie immediately demanded to know what was going on.
Of course she'd pick up that something was wrong, just by her greeting.
Slowly, as if she was still a child who had accidentally broken a vase, Lotte began to explain she'd been fired - with little reason, other than the fact that her behavior had been unacceptable. There was no need to tell Valerie about the man who'd suggested she work for her job, work in a way outside the guidelines, and who had his hands lower than her shoulders until she'd managed to get the mace.
Valerie was a good listener - possibly why she was a good foster mother. She didn't interrupt Lotte, even when she started crying into phone. It was only when Lotte stopped to take a breath, apologizing for being such a failure that Valerie asked her what she planned to do now.
The tone was chilly enough and Lotte froze, save for sniffling. That was the problem - she didn't know what to do, until Evelyn secured things for her. Lotte muttered something about not-knowing, before Valerie began to lecture her about being irresponsible - going back to apologize - anything to keep her dream in place.
Lotte was left clinging to the phone as Valerie became louder and louder, until she was yelling. Nothing comprehendible came to mind or even out of her mouth, other than stumbling apologies for Valerie and a goodbye when she thought she could manage it. She let the phone fall to the counter, before she slumped on it as well.
She'd never even liked ballet, it always being an outlet and a way to keep Valerie happy. For all that Valerie had done for her - it was a simple way to say thank you, Lotte had thought. The pay had been good and she had been on a good path - to have everything tumble apart was more than she was ready to deal with. Topping it off with her recent argument with James and that man's...Lotte gulped and rubbed at her eyes. It was the last thing she wanted to think about, beyond...
Lotte gasped, hand moving to cover her mouth. She forced herself to her feet and computer, managing a quick message before heading to her bed to collapse again. It wasn't an automatic move that caused her to pull her pillow over her ears nor to reach for the pill bottle a few hours later.