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Boyd Ainslie | Red Riding Hood (ex_sanguine300) wrote in bellumlogs,

Boyd was surprised Hannah spoke up, but she was smiling by the time the other girl was done. Or, she was until Hannah wilted under the psychiatrist's gaze. Boyd had spent a lifetime with psychiatrists telling her she didn't see what she knew she saw, so she didn't put too much stock in the profession overall. Books only covered so many things, she knew, and psychiatrists were humans, just like the rest of them, and equally prone to mistakes and emotional judgments.

"Depending on people's a problem," Boyd said, before the psychiatrist could take Hannah to task. It didn't skip her notice that they were taking over this therapy session, but she didn't mind it either. "I've done that for a long time. Thought finding someone could make everything all better for me. It ain't true," she said, looking at Hannah when she said it. "I think the needing makes us blind to things some, because we need the person so much we overlook things we would notice real fast in others." She smiled. "I think it might be about helping and wanting, but without the needing so much," she told the other woman, as if they were the only two people in the room. "We gotta be able to be a me first, honey, before we can go being a we." A smile. "I'm real bad at that."

When the facilitator cleared her throat, Boyd looked back at her. If someone you cared about was being hurt as you were hurt, what would you do, the woman asked the circle.

That was playing dirty, Boyd thought.