Boyd Ainslie | Red Riding Hood (ex_sanguine300) wrote in bellumlogs, @ 2010-02-17 12:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | red riding hood |
Who: Boyd
What: A narrative
When: Valentine's Day, after leaving Daniel's apartment
Warnings: None
The walk back to 601 was one that Boyd would barely remember the next day. Her feet made it to the door by rote, with no help from her mind. When she'd gone to Daniel's, it hadn't been with any intention of seducing him. She wasn't a silly girl, despite appearances to the contrary sometimes. She knew perfectly well she was still in love with Daniel, had never stopped loving him. But she also knew he wasn't for her, just like she knew that Shane loved her, needed her. Even with that, she still enjoyed the comfort of Daniel's arms around her, and when she cuddled up to him it was in search of that sort of heat, not the sort of heat she only had memories of before today.
He'd kissed her.
For Boyd, there was a clear line between the sort of snuggling she usually engaged in with Daniel and any attempt to seduce him. She didn't comprehend men deeply enough to know that the hugs and soft, comforting touches could turn sexual in an instant. Just as, she honestly believed that Daniel could touch her and need to go no further. Her experience with men, it didn't include much casual touch, and she didn't understand that for Daniel one thing bled into the other. For her, if her mind had been bent on seduction, she would have played the scene out in that chair completely differently. It hadn't been her intention, though, so she hadn't. In her mind, she could crawl into his bed wearing nothing at all, and curl up to him and sleep, and it would just be sleep. For Boyd, intention was the defining thing.
She could tell as soon as she'd walked into R1 that whatever had transpired since her last visit wasn't good. Vlad, she knew, cared for Daniel. She didn't know why, and it didn't make sense to her, but the feelings were real. Maybe not to the exclusion of all else, but if it was within his power, Vlad would help Daniel. Rosalie's brand of loving was completely pure. Boyd knew that from experience. If Daniel had taken a turn for the worse, it wasn't because of any intentional neglect on their part. They were all scared of Vaughn, she knew. And Daniel showed different parts of himself to everyone he knew. It was easy to get tangled up in him.
Her decision about Piedmont Village was made early in the conversation. It was a place her grandmother had sent her once, and she'd liked it. It was quiet and private and the views were pretty, and it felt like a safe haven. The fact that absolutely nothing could ever hope to touch you there, well, it was just an added bonus. Even the checks to make certain you were doing well seemed harmless - little old women chucking you under the chin while speaking in lilting Italian and bringing you warm soup they'd cooked in your kitchen. No Vaughn, and the sunshine, and being cared for. She'd made her decision before Daniel had ever pressed his lips to hers. All that was left was to convince Vlad the idea was (at least) partially his.
Shane wasn't home when she opened the door to 601, and she picked up the remainder of the discarded Valentines and thumbed through them. When she got to Shane's, she smiled softly. Her feelings for Shane were completely different from her feelings for Daniel, a fact which she didn't think she could explain to either of them. Since she'd been living with Shane, she'd realized so many things about him that she hadn't known before. So many-
The roses on the kitchen counter caught her eye first, and she went up and touched their petals softly before reading the card. Clean closet, the card had said next, and she wandered into the bedroom and opened the closet door. The dress was beautiful, if unlike anything she'd ever purchased for herself, and she pulled it out and slid it across the bed. It was then that she noticed the box and the necklace. She read the words once, twice, and they made her heart ache and tears stream along her cheeks. She slipped the necklace on, and she stripped off her dress and the feel of Daniel's fingers.
The shower she took was very hot, and the fact that she was sitting on the cold bathtub tile throughout didn't signify. Her skin was reddened by the time she went back into the bedroom and she slipped the dress on, the fading bruises from the alleyway barely visible against the skin of her shoulders over the dresses' back. She crawled onto the bed, wet hair strewn all against the white sheets, and she curled in around herself.
By the time Shane came back, she would be fine. This wasn't anything new, what she was feeling. It had been there since she'd slept with Daniel, had remained constant while she'd sewn up Shane's hurt, while Daniel had almost died on the bathroom floor in her arms, while she'd been sent out of his life by people older than her - and it was still there. It had been an ever-present thing in her relationship with Shane - a constant - nothing had changed, nothing was different.
She fell asleep around that thought.
Nothing was different.