Re: 401/802
yeah i definitly dont plan on telling anyone any of this. especially not the suicide part. god no. [...] but thanks. if i ever get sober enough to go outside manage to leave then ill keep that in mind.
[...]
but i did hurt her. not physiclly. but i still did. because she knows that im not the same and i had to hurt her by telling her i didnt want her there so she'd leave. and i only stopped because [...] he was getting angry because i was taking too long and [...] it just happened so fast. there was blood but he seemed like he might still live and then [...] he just disappeared. fell all the way down to the sidewalk. if i hadnt [...] if he hadn't [...] i dont even know what would have happened. i always thought i was a good person [...] i tried to be but you know it never really did much. people still died and got hurt.
[...] for now im alive because of her. illeana. because she doesnt know she'd be better off without me yet so it would still hurt her too much.