I don't know whether to scold you or coo over you, you fucking bastard. Why didn't you tell me you had some fucking problem? Christ, Vlad, what's the point of being exes if we're not going to share our shit with each other?
This isn't contagious, is it, like an STD?! Fuck, you know, I'm super sensitive to antibiotics and this shit is like, the last fucking thing I need.
Anyway, yeah, they told me, so I guess they're not fucking trying to punk me, then. So what the fuck happened? In the movie, Sadie Frost became a vampire and like, fucking kidnapped kids -- that's not going to happen to me, is it?