Everything he had tried had backfired. And clearly, if anything, Lily's opinion of him had likely grown worse than before. And James had gotten angry instead of calmed down. Perhaps if he didn't try to do right by him then James actually would calm down or not get pissed off or whatever. Or Sirius could just not get involved at all in the future. James could have Lily, and they could do whatever the fuck ever because clearly the three of them together wasn't a good idea. Fucking fuckity fuck.
"Whatever I do just makes it worse anyway," Sirius waved his journal off toward some corner. There wasn't enough mess to hide it in since he had cleaned up. And that annoyed him. But he turned away from that part of the room and instead looked at Remus. "I really don't see it ending the way our fight did," then his face blanched, "I really don't want it to."