• Amber is a vodka and Vicodin mom. • Amber doesn't care what her daughters do, ever, cause it's five o'clock somewhere. • Amber is a former stripper that Christopher cleaned up and married. • Amber is a former porn star. • Neither of Amber's daughters are fathered by her husband. • Amber can't wait for her husband to die someday, so she can spend all the money without him bitching.