I read the ff.net version they're both identical right?
Reeve had received Rufus in his office, as was seeming to become normal routine for both men now. (It might read better of you replace ‘was seeming to become’ to ‘which was seeming to become’.)
So far, negotiations has been fraught and Reeve has managed to keep quiet about the power generator, (‘negotiations has’ looks better as ‘negotiations had’)
“I’m not happy with this, Rufus. But I’ll agree to it providing one of my people go with him.” ( people go should be people goes, but unless you want to be really picky with your grammar it reads ok.)
“Two people undercover is more risky than one,” Rufus said. (Is should be are)
His crew were for the most part a well educated lot, he hoped one among them would know something about geology. Forgot to the capitalise the ‘He’
Large amounts of Glacier is unstable and though there's not much, there is some life there reliant on the environment. ( ‘Large amounts of Glacier is unstable’ reads better as ‘A large amount of Glacier is unstable’)
And I loved how Cid, Vincent, and Ana narrowed down the places they have to look.