Steggy
Cearly you didn't smell the breathe on literally any of those ridiculous pirates that came near me. I think that stench might give your zombies a run for their money.
Also do you think it's possible we might actually make it to this one without a catastrophic life and death situation happening? I think it's the least the universe could do. Though at this point I am tempted to simply set up your record player in our living room.