Tony Stark is going off the market, y’all! After all these years and a few on again/off again moments, the Iron Man takes a bride! That’s right! All y’all that have been pining and holding a green monster close to your heart are going to have to wear black for a while. He asked and his company’s SEE EE OH said yes! And you should SEE and OH the rock she has on her finger! The royal family has nothing on the jewel our soon to be Mrs. Stark is sporting.

The official press release went like this:


Mr. Anthony Stark and Miss Virginia Potts, after some time of love and consideration, are happy to announce their engagement to be married. Their nuptials will be a private affair surrounded by their friends and family. They humbly request that gifts and well wishes should be made to their charities that they support.


But that seemed too tame and casual for our tastes so we decided to up their game to an amazeballs level to match such a dynamic couple! So here goes:


HOT HOT HOT MISS PEPPER POTTS HAS FINALLY GIVEN IN TO THE INEVITABLE AND SAID YES TO THE IRON MAN’S GIFT OF FANTABULOUS HAPPILY EVER AFTER! None of y’all are cool enough to be invited to their wedding, but if you want to partake in their big day, send money to this, that and the other thing. Whatevs. Excuse me while I go fall into a bottle of regret for never having gotten the opportunity to breathe the same air as them.


Time and date of the wedding have yet to be announced, but rest assured we’re on top of it!

Well that's a thing. I guess Franken-Friday snagged that as part of the news algorithm and posted it before I could make an announcement.

Anyway! Yep. We're getting married. You're all invited. Everyone on here. Huge party afterward. And hopefully a honeymoon without ninjas, terrorists, robots, or anything else attacking. That'd be great.

While we're still in announcement mode, Nick Fury is rebooting Secret SHIELD to help the Secret Avengers with some of the more shady stuff going on lately (like those super bullets). Co-funded by me and Pep. It should help get new information flowing in. So if you're one of those cloak and dagger types, he's the man to talk at.

Grats, Fury. Don't get all mad dad at me anymore.

[private to Pepper]

Someone really took your press release and ran with it, didn't they?

( This is the Blue Horsehead Nebula in infared light )

[Sif, Valkyrie]
I was able to pick up my Asgardian dress and bring it to New York. Do either of you want it?

[Thor]
I picked up my dress from Asgard when I got my lab equipment. I've offered it to Sif and Valkyrie but if they're not interested, do you want it? Hang onto it for when you're reunited with your people and give someone a piece of home?