[text to Bruce]

> Hi super quiet and sometimes smashy BFF.
> Wondering if you noticed who was on the network now.
> Don't blow a big green gasket ok?

[text to Natasha]

> Remember that 'not standard issue' stuff?
> Guess who compiled a pretty impressive damage report.

[text to Pep]

> Heads up: going to pick up a suit and be out for a while tonight.
> Check out Thor's network post for why.
> Up the security detail and tell Happy.

[Text to Jessica Jones]
> So, how is the superheroing going?
> You know, we had lunch the other day.
> I hate him.

[Text to Matt Murdock]
> Congratulations on overturning the Sokovia Accords!
> I don't 'fangirl' but if I did I would be doing so right now, which would be incredibly nerdy of me.
> Thought you might wanna know Kilgrave roped me into lunch a few days ago and managed to keep the mind control to a minimum so that's a plus.
> He will lord it over you but since he's deluded into thinking she'll love him of her own volition if he becomes a hero that might keep him on the narrow for a while.

So what is this thing? How does this work?

Also, turns out my former lawyer actually does know how to do his job. So.

I'm Frank.

PEOPLE OF THE NETWORK! I MUST WARN YOU OF A POTENTIAL THREAT TO YOUR KIND. I WAS ATTACKED WITH A WEAPON OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN, ONE THAT HAS WROUGHT UNEXPECTED DAMAGE UPON MY PERSON. THE INJURY WAS SUCH THAT A MORTAL MIGHT WELL NOT SURVIVE IT.

EXERCISE EXTREME CAUTION IF YOU WALK AMONGST THE MIDGARDIANS WITHOUT DISGUISE OR ARMOR.

Happy Birthday to the love of my life.

I'm the luckiest man in the world.

I might have a surprise for you later.