An unidentified individual has been sighted attempting to scale the Statue of Liberty. We're not yet certain if this is a social media stunt by a drunken college student or if it's a suicide bomber trying to attack a symbol of our great country. News choppers are on the way to the scene. Stay tuned for future updates.

Hi! Someone got a 'fun' text message about a person needing additional help. Guess who that someone was? Yours truly.

That's why we're going to play a 'fun' game called:

Raise your hand if you're wanted by state or federal law enforcement.
Put your hand down, Rock of Ages. You're 90% Thor's problem to deal with.

Look, you're not going to get turned in. I said I wasn't going to rat anyone out, even if I hate your guts, and here we are. Two days later. Rat free. I can't tell without tipping off that I'm involved in this and running the risk they'll find out I'm harboring you. Yay us. Now I need to know how many asses I'm going to cover for, if I have to lie to Secretary of State Thunderbitch Ross and give enough tip off time for you to get away.

Use a private filter so only I can see it. If you don't know how, Thor asked for help and got Tech Support.

If your name is Dandelion or Daffodil or whatever flower thing happened to you at birth? I'm calling you Tech Support now. You and I need to have a little chat ASAP.

Has anyone seen Frank Castle? I need to know, right away. I think he's in trouble and I.. please, if you know where he might be, or if he's here.. let me know.