InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You are getting sleeeepy ..."

Moderator (avengers__mod) wrote in avengers_logs,
@ 2019-01-28 19:08:00

Entry tags:

-gamewide plot, -open thread, bucky barnes, clint barton, gamora, hope van dyne, loki odinson, natasha romanoff, nick fury, peggy carter, pepper potts, peter parker, scott lang, stephen strange, steve rogers, valkyrie, wanda maximoff

Who: Open to all, including narratives
What: When fandoms attack!
When: a Sunday afternoon
Rating: ???

Plot Outline & Map

Tag order

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

thehoffs_twin
2019-02-01 05:55 pm UTC (link)

Peter was used to weird things happening, but not usually when no drugs were involved. He didn't typically work on weekends, and was on the couch lazing when things ... changed

Suddenly, he was laying on a plush grass lawn, and there was a sense of happiness in the air, something that he would never have attributed to New York. The townhouse was gone, everything was gone, but on his belt, he had a red-and-white ball.. HOLY SHIT. Scrambling to sit up, he got on his knees and nervously held the ball. This was a motherfuckin' pokeball. He would swear his life on it.

During the time-of-no-women, Drax and Peter had fully immersed doing sweet fuck all with their time (hence the filthy house). Peter had binged all the cartoons he could find, but Pokemon had been his absolute favourite. With shaking hands, he held the ball in front of him and pushed the button, waiting anxiously to see if it was empty or had something in it.

It did not disappoint. Standing on the ground in front of him, a quizzical look on its face, was a real life, honest to god, Squirtle.

"YES!!!" He leaped up and pumped his fist in the air, doing a few dance moves for good measure while the pokemon stood there looking annoyed. "Squirtle!!!"

"Yes! Yes buddy! You are a squirtle and I'm your fucking master! Hell to the yes!!" The squirtle did not look impressed, but Peter sure was. Looking around, he tried to see if he could figure out where Gamora had gone when he saw Drax. Oh right, Drax lived here too.

"DRAX! WE HAVE POKEMON! IT'S LIKE THE GREATEST DAY SINCE FOOTLOOSE CAME OUT ON VHS!"

Peter was going to be yelling everything excitedly for the next few hours.

(Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

the_destroyer
2019-02-01 07:06 pm UTC (link)

Drax had been upstairs, watching what was known as professional wrestling on the television and studying the various moves and listening to smack talk. He liked the boastful banter, because it preceded what was known as a smackdown. It was proclaiming how adept you were to your opponent, and that seemed acceptable when partaking in battle. He still didn't understand why no one was pulling out anyone else's spines, and he thought that was because Terra was an odd place.

It was even more odd when he suddenly found himself sitting on the grass, and heard Quill's yelling.

Nearby was a ball laying in the unnaturally green grass. He knew from watching the cartoon known as Pokemon with Quill that it contained pets which would engage in never-ending battles. These battles were much better than the dancing battle depicted in Footloose. Then again, Drax thought that anything was better than Footloose...once he finally saw what it was that Peter Quill kept talking about. That film made no sense, and needed more actual fighting in it.

In the meantime, the world was bright and happy, and there were still battles to be had.

Drax seized hold of the beast ball and pushing a thumb on the button. Out popped a little lizard beast with a big bulb on it's back.

"Bulba!" the creature croaked out, disgruntled.

"I know this creature!" Drax proclaimed, pointing down at it. "This is Vulva!"

"Bulba!" the creature croaked out, looking irritated. This strange person was getting its named wrong. "BULBASAUR!"

"QUILL! I HAVE A VULVA SORE!" Drax yelled back, undaunted by the name correction, since he only paid attention half the time and was mostly thinking of other things. Other things that no one wants to know about. "I AM STRANGELY COMPELLED TO CAPTURE MORE LITTLE BEASTS!"

(Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

thespiderling
2019-02-03 04:32 am UTC (link)

"...if you find one, you toss one of these best you can and they're caught inside a ball like this. Mine's empty, but there's gotta be a few to find in the grass here. I was looking for a Pikachu or a Charmander, cause..." Peter paused on giving a crash course in Pokemon to the woman near to him, shortly after interrupted by the sound of excitable shouting nearby. He didn't want to tear his attention away from the grass for too long in case he missed his chance, but he recognized those voices. A glance behind him confirmed it.

"I think I know them?" Peter told his new companion, waving over at Quill and Drax. "Hey! Footloose guy!" Of course the other Peter was still talking about something that probably should have stayed in the 80's. "Man, someone's gotta introduce you to better movies."

Peter's eyes widened when he caught sight of the pair of familiar creatures grumbling through the grass. "No way. No way. How is this real?" Or was it? He caught a flash of yellow threading through the green and began to trail after it, close enough still to hear Drax misidentify his Pokemon. Badly.

"Dude. It's bulbasaur. I mean, isn't a vulva like-" You know what, he wasn't going to finish that sentence for himself. Nope. Some questions were better left unanswered. "So does anyone know what’s going on here? Exactly? Cause I could have sworn it was winter five seconds ago. But now there's Pokemon and it's either the best or weirdest day of my life. Or both. Definitely both."

Something was up, but Peter couldn’t help but to be a little more focused on the fact that he was this close to catching a Pikachu who was cheerfully bouncing ahead of him.

(Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

zenwhoberis
2019-02-03 12:49 pm UTC (link)

Still utterly confused but yet guided by the helpful advice of the younger generation and instinct, Gamora carefully pushed the button on this odd-looking ball. Out popped a little reptilian-looking creature, one that was bipedal and distinctly orange.

Apparently it was a Charmander, with a fire burning at the very end of its tail. Alright, then. She wasn't certain what she was supposed to have it do, but it seemed full of rage and repressed anger, so she just let it loose to attack things and help her catch other similar-looking cartoon creatures. Go, creature, go.

"I know them too," she said, looking up to find her perma-booty call and her sensitive-nippled friend close by; she wandered nearer, with the fire pet. "And this has to be the work of one of the infinity stones. Reality, I am sure."

The realization and the worry prickled at Gamora. She thought that Dr. Strange said the stones were being guarded?

"We have to figure out a way to get things back to normal." A glance at Drax. "Or whatever normal counts for around here."

(Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

thehoffs_twin
2019-02-03 08:19 pm UTC (link)

Star-Lord was in his glory. It had taken him five minutes to try to convince his squirtle that that was indeed his name -- Star-Lord. He was pretty sure the "Squir-Tle" was the pokemon equivalent which made all this? SO MUCH BETTER.

In his pocket, he had no cell phone, just a pokedex so gathering Drax along, they walked in the general direction (or what they thought was) of where Gamora had gotten food. Along the way, he easily caught a few more Pokemon and was thrilled.

It was even better when he finally saw Gamora. "Gamora!" He waved enthusiastically, his little blue friend waving along. It was unknown if the large blue one was waving as well. She was standing with some kid, that when he got closer, realized it was the Spiderkid.

"Holy, ghost!" Peter blinked a few times and gave his head a shake. "Did you legit just show up to battle pokemon? Because that would be pretty cool, but also sucky for you because I am a master

"Squirtle squirt"

"10-4, little buddy." He grinned at Gamora. "Also, babe, just thought I'd say, I love it that we have opposite pokemon because water totally beats fire and for ONCE I would totally kick your ass. Also, anyone know what we're supposed to do? 'Cuz I'd be happy living here. This? This would be a good life."

(Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

the_destroyer
2019-02-03 08:54 pm UTC (link)

When Peter gave his advice on what his little beast's name was, Drax nodded thoughtfully. The creature formerly known as Vulva grumpily croaked out "Bulbasaur!" again. But Drax was briefly contemplating a great number of things, based on what was being said around him. Things including Infinity Stones, his hatred of Thanos, how his nipples might now get sweaty under the heart-shaped shields, that it was nice to find his friends including Springy-man (who was a Terran boy, hardly a man like the Pirate Angel)...aaaaaaaaaaaand it's gone.

Drax was thinking of something else entirely now.

"Quill is right. The weather is much more temperate. I too could live here as a master of poking mom."

The Bulbasaur vine whipped his legs.

"Ouch!" Drax looked at it, offended. "That's disrespectful."

After a few more vine whips - a sure sign that Drax's Bulbasaur did not respect him - Drax looked over to the younger Peter and said in what was meant to be under his breath, "Tell me how to defeat Quill. I would like to see him cry like an newborn child."

(Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

thespiderling
2019-02-05 01:52 pm UTC (link)

As incredibly surreal as this situation was, Peter was thriving in it. In the span of the last few minutes, he'd tracked down a Pickachu and caught it, getting close enough to even pet the very vocal creature. "You're like a little mini Thor!” The only thing that put a slight dampener on Peter’s excitement was Gamora’s reminder of the reality stone - an explanation that seemed more likely than them all hallucinating this in the same moment.

He looked at Gamora and then back to Quill again, connecting those dots. She was that Gamora. The one who Quill had lost it over on Titan when Thanos hadn’t denied having done something awful to her. This universe was all about bringing people back from the dead, Peter was finding.

"I grew up with this. If anyone here’s a master..." Then he’d be willing to bet his time spent getting up to Level 40 in Pokemon Go hadn't been so wasted after all.

"If the point is to catch 'em all..." Peter shot a web out to a nearby civilian battler to yank them back from a Charizard's wayward fire. Thankfully, the person was too wrapped up in their Pokemon's fight to notice the webbing on their back after they'd gotten up and brushed themselves off. Peter's own Pikachu let out a high pitched cry of approval, apparently entertained by it all.

"Maybe that's what we gotta do until whatever this is sorts itself out." Because trying to find the reality stone itself when the world was nothing but greenery and Poke centers as far as the eye could see probably wouldn't go well. Peter was leaning on the hope that the Avengers had that bit covered. "We'd be protecting everyone else if we caught all the Pokemon between ourselves, right?"

Or maybe he just really, really wanted to catch some Pokemon. It sounded like a win-win to him. He inched closer to Drax, more than a little curious to see their creatures butt heads. "I think you have to challenge him first." He lowered his voice, sizing up Quill's Squirtle. "But once you do, tell your Bulbasaur start off with a tackle or use the vine whip - you'd definitely have the edge here."

(Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

zenwhoberis
2019-02-05 03:35 pm UTC (link)

Idiots. They were all idiots.

"As fun as this is - " And right now, Gamora was about to lay down the law. Because whatever was happening wasn't supposed to happen - their reality had been warped into something vaguely inconsequential and benign (because who gave a shit about collecting Pokemon or issuing challenges?) but the next time the infinity stone decided to subject everyone to its seizures, it may not be so great. "Peter, if you don't focus right now - you're not ever getting laid again."

And let's just say an ass-kicking would be the least of his worries.

"Drax, if you don't focus I'll rip off your nipple barriers and you'll chafe until you're dead. And you - " She looked at the younger one, who seemed just as excited as her moronic Guardian teammates, "...you seem more intelligent than them, so you may be right. If we have to play the game, then we'll play - but don't lose focus. The idea is to get out of here."

She wasn't about to count on the stone 'sorting itself out.' If only.

Her fire-tail pet had helped her catch more of these Pokemon creatures, and eventually she noticed that she was being shadowed by a shy little pink thing, who flickered in and out of sight. When she caught it, she fed it a treat. Berries or something - apparently it was very food-motivated.

(Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

thehoffs_twin
2019-02-05 03:45 pm UTC (link)

Peter was about the protest the sudden celibacy rule when he saw her non-chalantly capture a Mew.

Mew.

One of the most legendary, amazing pokemon every created because Mew was totally created but wasn't nearly as evil as Mew 2. The Pokemon Movie 1 was one of his favourites.

Of course Gamora, of all people, would be so amazing at everything, she'd effortlessly capture a pokemon that required a MASTER pokeball. And she just had her usual one.

"GodDAMNIT," he cursed, kicking at a stone. "I'm equal parts turned on and angry right now, because fuck, Gamora -- that pink dude there? You're going to beat all the gyms now. Obviously it like ..recognizing your superior potential over all of us since it's just going to you without a fight." He was slightly whiny about this, but not really as he headed over to her side. Even his Squirtle was nodding its head in agreement. Everyone understood how amazing a Mew was.

Pulling her close to him, he gave her a kiss on her forehead. "I love you so much right now. Let's go kill shit together."

(Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

the_destroyer
2019-02-05 09:33 pm UTC (link)

Drax didn't remember what was so special about the Mew. He only gathered it was special based on Quill's reaction. And based on Gamora's reaction, they were supposed to focus or else his nipples would chafe. On what, Drax wasn't sure, so he went with his instinct and some vague memory of the cartoon. He promptly picked up his bulbasaur and lobbed it into the tall grass, toward a brown-furred creature with long ears and a bushy tail.

"Bulb Sore, tackle and use your vine whip as this springy child has suggested," Drax ordered, "We must seize them all! Defeat your foe, disgruntled beast!"

The bulbasaur landed with an audible thunk in the tall grass, as the other Pokemon skittered away.

One thing was certain. No one in their right mind will ever let Drax pet sit.

(Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

thespiderling
2019-02-09 04:20 am UTC (link)

Peter (the younger) was quickly learning that if the reality stone turned this into a Pokemon apocalypse, Gamora would be the one he'd follow because she was a certified badass - and a Pokemon master without even meaning to be. "That's the coolest thing I've ever seen." Peter was hardcore regretting not having his phone on him. He could only hope the Pokemon invasion stretched out over Queens or else Ned would never believe him.

But right. Focus. Peter worked on steering civilians clear of the more powerful ones, capturing a few more himself along the way. He stayed close to his newfound companions, finding it difficult not to get distracted by the way his Pikachu was loyally following him. If this was the stuff of his wildest dreams...

Then Mewtwo was definitely the stuff of his nightmares.

While the sight of the solitary Pokemon was too awesome because it was temporarily real, Peter - who had a very clear memory of being terrified as a little kid of the same creature - was just a little freaked out. He and Ned had debated more than once on if MewTwo was actually evil, but that morally grey area Peter had argued for didn’t count for much when the thing was sending a withering glare his way. “We got this. We totally got this...Pikachu? Quick attack?"

Peter's Pikachu did just that, but Mewtwo brushed it off with a megapunch. Peter winced, sprinting forward to help his Pikachu up and glancing back towards the Guardians. "You’re even creepier in person, dude. Anyone else wanna give that a go?"

Because he was maaaybe getting a little too emotionally attached to his Pikachu and didn’t want him in a fight he couldn’t win.

(Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

zenwhoberis
2019-02-09 01:21 pm UTC (link)

Gamora gave Peter's nicely-shaped backside a pat when he pulled her in. That was sweet of him and all, but she really just wanted to get the hell out of here. Being messed with by the reality stone was giving her the creeps, even if she seemed to be the only one who didn't care about Pokemon in the slightest.

"Do whatever you want," she said to her 'Mew,' and gave it another treat after it beat the shit out of one of the other Pokemon. "I will not control you. You are the master of your own destiny."

Unlike herself, who had not been lucky to be as such - not while under Thanos' control, and yet despite how her adoptive 'father' wasn't here, she was still plagued by the reality stones regardless, unable to escape the fallout from those stupid things. But anyway, what was she supposed to do with this thing? She guessed she was meant to take it to other fighting zones to have it engage with other creatures, so she sent it off to do just that. Fun. The fire pet was still around here somewhere.

"How are you all actually entertained by these cartoonish gladiatorial arenas?"

(Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

thehoffs_twin
2019-02-11 01:46 am UTC (link)

Peter was already distracted half-way through her sentence. The Mewtwo...daaaaaaaaamn.

With an arm out to his Squirtle, he gave the little creature a nod. They were so in sync, it was terrifyingly awesome. "Let's do this, blue buddy." Peter hoped Drax didn't think Peter was talking about him. "Water jet!"

Squirtle nodded and frowning, leapt up in front, getting itself set. The water started gushing out, and Peter was so happy and excited and -- wait, was that the living room?

Like before, he blinked and things were back to how they were. Just now Gamora, Drax and the little Peter were all in the house, New York was a concrete jungle and there were no pokemon. Anywhere.

"Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!" Peter fell to his knees, shaking his fists to the sky. "ONE TIME something good happens, ONE TIME and it's gone??" He paused. "OTher than you babe, greatest thing to happen to me, definitely but MY SQUIRTLE!!!!!"

Oh sad times. It would take Peter some time to get over this.

"Fuck...anyone up for some Pokemon Go then?"

(Replies frozen) (Parent)

(Read comments) -